Good Henry, Bad Henry

Sometimes,  Henry can be very sweet. That's how I know my old friend is still in there somewhere. Sometimes he can be a rampaging asshole. Like yesterday. 

He called me on my cell, not my landline. It was charging in the kitchen and I couldn't get to it in time. I listened to his voicemail: "Just me, checking on you." Nothing specific, nothing seemed wrong, so I didn't return the call. I figured he was just bored and probably found someone else to call.

A few minutes later he called back on my cell. I picked up. He began by ranting about his phone. He could not "find" my landline number and he wanted to throw the phone against the wall. That's his TBI talking. It's the same phone he's had for ages. Sometimes his brain just doesn't work as it should.

I told him it was OK, it was all good. We connected, that's all that mattered.

He wanted to know what was going on in my life. Silly me, I believed he actually wanted to know. Remember, I thought was this one of his, "Reg is asleep and I'm bored" calls.

So I told him how my aunt was suffering after her knee replacement. How I was worried about her because she had to choose between pain or the severe gastrointestinal discomfort the pain meds give her.

"Yes. I understand. I have that all the time," he said dismissively."I am so ..."

"No, you do not know what she's going through," I said. I will not infantilize him. "They have never cut you open, removed part of knee and replaced it with metal!" I was upset that he was diminishing her pain and my worry. 

"No, that is true," he admitted. I told him about her surgery and he responded with:

"OK, this is why I am upset." He'd obviously been waiting for me to stop talking about her so we could talk about him.

I was now sorry I picked up. I know how these calls go. Henry is in a rut about how bad his life is. There is no getting him out of this, no matter how I hard I try. All I can do is try to slow his hysteria.

He hasn't been like this -- with his mind stuck immovably on one track -- since Spring 2020. Then, like now, he wasn't working and didn't have a schedule to ground him.

I know he can't help it, but it's scary and tiring to talk to him when he's like this. I wish that, instead of "Henry," my caller ID would indicate if it was "Good Henry" or "Bad Henry."