Sunday, December 10, 2017

I just didn't want to

I don't know why I didn't go to our movie group Christmas gettogether. I just didn't feel like it.

Will, our moderator, chose an unusual holiday-themed movie this year: The Apartment. It's Billy Wilder, so it's funny and cynical. But it has a lovely happy ending. I've never seen it with an audience, so maybe it would have been fun.

But I just had a feeling that tonight wouldn't have gone well. Joanna and I were supposed to go out afterward to toast the holiday and that's what propelled me to get ready to go. While I was checking my makeup, my tummy started to gurgle and I thought, "Oh, this isn't good." But I had committed to see Joanna.

Then I got a text from her. She was going to skip this evening because she had too much work to do before leaving Tuesday for client meetings in New Orleans. I was happy for her, as I knew she was worried about money through year end. And I felt strangely liberated. If she wasn't going, I didn't have to go.

We agreed to celebrate the holidays after I get home from Key West. I was happy. I curled up on the sofa, under an afghan, and watched the 1970s Murder on the Orient Express (and fell asleep).

And now I'm not. My stomach calmed down and I was fine. I saw the "Oh, we miss you!" messages from Betty and Will and I wished I'd gone.

What's wrong with me? Do I have the holiday blues?


  1. Could be or maybe you're just having an off day. I was really in the Christmas spirit this year with our youngest grandson around, but this past week with having to put my dog down just sucked the joy right out of it. I'm slowly beginning to bounce back. I hope you do, too. The blues at Christmas really suck.

  2. I admit to a certain ennui this holiday season, too.