Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Oh, I don't know

I recently caught my oldest friend in a lie. A small lie that doesn't really have anything to do with me. But it disturbs me because I don't know why she bothered.

She told me she spent Easter with her cousin in the hills and that it took three hours to drive home (instead of the 90 minutes she expected) on Sunday, causing her to miss Mad Men.

But her cousin posted a family Easter pic to Facebook on Saturday, saying they celebrated early, and my friend peppered me with Farmville requests all day Sunday.

So they celebrated on Saturday and my friend was alone at home on Sunday. I don't know where her kids were. They were not in the Saturday Easter photo.

I don't know why she'd bother to lie about this. I'm not going to bust her because it's really none of my business.

She's unhappy with the way her life is going. In three years she's had four jobs, so she just HAS to make this one work. Her daughter failed her high school proficiency test. Her 22-year-old son still hasn't moved out, and he and his buddy are crashing on her living room floor. She has health problems. I'm not going to mention the lie because it really doesn't matter and I don't want to hassle her and add to her troubles.

But it bothers me.


  1. Shame and admitting you're truly alone is a hard one for all of us. If she told you about it, she'd have to face the feelings and that was maybe more than she could do now. And it's possible all that lies in her unconscious and she just wanted to hide.

    I had a friend lie to me about something similar many years ago and it hurt me terribly that she felt she couldn't tell me / didn't want to tell me. In fact, it was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

    You have such a big, loving heart that holds more compassion than hundred people put together. I know, deep in your soul, you understand that she can't face up to it now. But yes, on a human level, it does hurt.


  2. How peculiar of her. You have such a great perspective on your friend's woes.

  3. That is puzzling that she'd make up such a detailed lie, including a story about the ride home and everything. Maybe she was embarrassed about being alone and didn't want you to feel sorry for her or feel obligated to invite her? Or maybe she just wanted to spend the day alone, and didn't want to have to explain that to anyone? I don't know???

  4. It's hurtful when an old friend doesn't trust you with the truth. Sure there may be good reasons, and it could explain everything away. And you're right not to press her on it.