This is the floral arrangement I'm having sent to the funeral home for my uncle's service on Friday. I won't be there. Because our family patriarch will be. And he molested me.
He and my uncle were not close. In fact, they clashed often over the years. Recently, when told of my uncle's desperate straits, he conveyed to my mother that he really didn't care much.
Yet he will, no doubt, be in the front row at the service because that's the kind of 14k pig and hypocrite he is. I'll be at my desk, at work. And my family will be fine with this because maintaining the illusion of a "normal" American family is more important than doing what's fair ... or what my uncle would have wanted.
Oh well, it is what it is.
I could go to the service, of course. And risk a scene with the old pervert. At which point I might start screaming. I don't need that kind of stress and crap while I mourn someone who actually mattered in my life. So I'm going to protect myself by staying away.
If there's anything that matters to me more than my family's bullshit image of itself, it's my sanity.
These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
I'm glad you are taking care of YOURself in this matter. Now that your Uncle is on the other side, he can fully grasp and comprehend your feelings for him in a way he couldn't in his last few years.
ReplyDeleteI know you will hold him in your thoughts in a really loving way not only during the funeral but for all time.
(He knows you love him. Trust me. I hear dead people, remember??)
GOOD CHOICE!
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm sorry about the situation, but I do like your choice in flowers. Very pretty.
ReplyDeleteVery pretty flowers. And I'm going to chime in with everyone else--celebrate your Uncle's life your own way.
ReplyDelete