Sunday, October 10, 2010

Being honest with my blog

I'm not proud of this, but it's true. I realized today why I've been so angry at my mom lately: I'm mad at her for getting old, which she's been doing rapidly this year. I don't want her looking so wrinkled or becoming so ditzy. I don't want her to be mortal and I hate that she's going to die. It's not imminent, but it's sooner rather than later. And I hate it.


  1. Very powerful. The health scares my dad's had in the past few years are putting me in the same position. I don't want my only parent to be so vulnerable to age.

  2. About six years ago, I remember watching my mom make her way down the hall using a walker, wearing an old gray tattered sweater and it hit me like a ton of bricks - she's old. My mom is old. So, I understand some of what you're going through. Coming to terms with our parent's mortality is hard.

    Be gentle with yourself, okay?

    (Always much love)

  3. my dad is 84..i am 64...sometimes i wonder who will go first! crazy!
    to think of losing him makes me sick. i have been you!

  4. There's nothing wrong with that strong emotion. My mom turned 68 last month and my step dad turned 72 in August. They are both in excellent health, but I know they are so much closer to the end than the beginning.

    I hate that. It's hard to accept that death is a natural part of life. I just don't want to be without them.

    Forgive yourself for hating it. We all do.