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| Find the challenge here |
November Challenge: Your fears
I have two big ones, and they have just gotten worse with time:
1. Being in a plane crash. Not dying. Dying doesn't bother me. It's those moments before impact that terrifies me. The g-force, hearing the terror of the other passengers ... shudder!
2. Lack of independence. I don't want to have to depend on anyone to take care of me.
Gee, this has been cheery, hasn't it?
WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.
PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.
1. What are you currently reading? Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton and the Marriage of the Century by Sam Kashner and Nancy Schoenberger. This is a re-read for me. I'm suffering post-election blues and I need a dose of passion and glamor. Rome, London, Celigny, Beverly Hills. Private planes and yachts. Paintings and oh! The jewels! Oh yeah, and some really terrific movies.
2. What did you recently finish reading? Bad Influence by Alison Gaylin.
Boston PI Sunny Randall finds herself in what is for her unfamiliar
territory: social media. A hot young influencer, Blake James, is being
stalked and his savvy manager Kris Jenner Bethany Rose hires Sunny to both act as bodyguard and, hopefully, unmask the stalker.
I found this book undeniably entertaining but also frustrating because I often felt I was a step or two ahead of Sunny. I felt like yelling, "C'mon, Girl!" She was so scattered and unfocused!
3. What will you read next? I don't know.
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| Find the challenge here |
November Challenge: Five items you lust after
1. A quality, quiet cordless stick vac
2. A new official Cubs jacket
3. Durable yet cute waterproof outdoor ankle booties that are easy to slip on/off
4. An iron bed frame with head and foot boards
5. A lightweight portable DVD player with good sound
None of these items is that expensive, but I'm trying to be more sensible with my spending as I await the estimates for all village-mandated repairs for this building. If an awesome deal for any of these show up on Black Friday I may act.
Except for the bed. The bed is complicated because I have to get rid of the existing bed frame. I'd like to have the junk guy come and take it and my bedroom TV away first. Then the new bed will have to be delivered and assembled and the cable guy will come over to set up my new living room TV and reprogram the remote for the old living room TV which will now be in the bedroom and oh, hell! I'll just keep this crappy bed frame and TV.
Here's how to play.
• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
This is from Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton and the Marriage of the Century by Sam Kashner and Nancy Schoenberger. I love this word portrait of Taylor. Describing her at age 25, it explains the romantic drama that would follow her for life.
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| Find the challenge here |
November Challenge: A problem you have had
Control, responsibility and perspective! People in my life can hurt and confound me, and I have a hard time handling it.
I began therapy in 2019 because I needed help with Henry. His accident and the subsequent TBI caused him to say terrible things to me sometimes, and I cannot emphasize this enough -- that was NOT my darling Henry. Then it morphed into dealing with Henry's husband Reg, and why Reg was refusing to get Henry the help that was available, the help he needed. The former was actually easier to cope with than the latter. Henry did what he did because he couldn't help it. Reg, on the other hand ... My despair over Henry, the helplessness I felt about the situation, my anger at Reg were all mighty and I needed help handling them.
Now Henry is gone and most of my sessions revolve around my oldest friend. Her move to California more than a decade ago has been a disaster. She was evicted and will be homeless in two weeks. Her adult children are no help. There's been some breach with the cousin she moved out there to be near. Her health is precarious. A man she once dated -- they met through a dating service approximately two years ago, slept together exactly once, and he told her quite frankly they could be friends but nothing more -- has offered her a room in his home. Her own entrance, shared bathroom and kitchen privileges. Considering that she has three cats and her FICO score is in the toilet, I think he is a godsend.
No, she responded angrily, he is a narcissistic, cheating bastard and she needs me to support her on this. She has shared texts she has sent him, berating him for not taking her more seriously now that he was a new girlfriend. (She will be 68 next month and he's over 70; I can't believe how Archie-and-Veronica this all sounds.) She is going to do everything she can to ruin this living arrangement before it starts on December 1. She literally has nowhere else to go!
She also wants to come "home" to Chicagoland. I texted her back that I will help her, but she can't live with me. My condo has two bedrooms and a tiny bathroom. I don't have room for her, plus we'd have five cats between us. PLUS she has no car and I don't drive. How would she get even here? I pointed out that I wasn't sure her California benefits would be easily transferable to Illinois but I would do any legwork for her, researching what I can.
I won't go into all the ways she has let me down since moved to California. But here are the high, hard ones: She was going to come in to help me recover from my surgery, but cancelled at the last minute; she's owed me money for seven years from our last trip to Las Vegas; when my dear friend John was dying last spring, all she wanted to talk about was this man she once dated and his "mistreatment" of her ... Really, the list is endless. But I try to hang on.
Because of her diagnosed bipolar condition, she is unable to be there for me. I get it. But I wrestle with how much I am expected to be there for her. How much I can be there for her. How little I get in return. I hate how angry I am at her.
Some of it is very deja Henry and Reg. So I guess this is my struggle:
Where are the boundaries? What are the limits? When does being a good friend and a good Christian slide into masochism?
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| Find the challenge here |
November Challenge: Something you're proud of
When I adopted these cats, they each had special problems. Connie (left) began life with a hoarder and had years of a bad diet. She arrived at the shelter pregnant with a dead litter, emaciated, and suffering from an upper respiratory infection, runny eyes and bloody gums. By the time I adopted her, she was stronger but her eyes were still very light sensitive and her gums were still a mushy mess.
Roy Hobbs (right) suffered abuse in his last home. The other cat in that household died. He was skittish and frightened when I adopted him.
Today they're both fine. Connie still has ongoing dental problems, but look at those wide-open, bright eyes! Roy Hobbs fears certain men on sight. But on the whole, they're relaxed, content and enjoying their lives. I made that happen. I'm proud of it.
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| Find the challenge here |
November Challenge: Something you always think "what if ..." about
After high school, I had two very positive interviews. The first was set up by my guidance counselor at the suburban Loyola medical campus not that far from my parents' home, where I was still living. I'd have to drive, but I had a car then (an old beater given me by my family). I'd be working as a receptionist for a dentist.
The second was with Sears, Roebuck and Co. in Sears Tower. I'd take the train every day and work in The Loop. I'd be a secretary to one of the men who placed local newspaper advertising for neighborhood Sears stores all over the country.
I took the second job. I hated it. No, really, I hated it. There were days when the train pulled into Union Station and I was literally the last one to get off. I fantasized about just riding back and forth all day, rather than get off and go to that job.
However I loved the city. Madly. I felt a sense of belonging there among that diverse, bustling populace I never had in the white-bread town I grew up in.
Eventually I was offered the copywriter test and became a writer for the Sears Catalog. That was the beginning of my advertising career -- which, let's face, I was totally unqualified for -- and I am grateful.
But I never go past the Loyola medical campus without wondering what happened to her, the me I would have been if I'd taken that job in the dentist's office. Would I have stayed suburban? Remained on the clerical path? Gotten married, quit and had the more conventional life my mom envisioned for me? I hope I wouldn't end up as unhappily married as my parents were.
Saturday 9: My Girl (1965)
Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.
1) Temptations' lead singer David Ruffin sings that he has sunshine on a cloudy day. How does the sky look where you are today? Right now, the sky is very dark because it's nighttime. But Saturday it will be overcast. I prefer blue skies, but gray ones have their own beauty.
2) He maintains that even when it's cold outside, to him it feels like the month of May. What's your favorite month? I like November because of Thanksgiving and my birthday. I also like May because it's more dependably warmish and sunny.
3)
In addition to their vocals, The Temptations were known for their
stylish suits and choreography. Are you a better dancer or dresser? Dresser. And I'm not that great a dresser.
4) Today, nearly 60 years since it's release, "My Girl" is one of the most popular karaoke songs. Do you know the words? Yes.
5)
The Temptations delighted Mets fans when they performed "My Girl" live
at Citi Field during the playoffs last month. The World Series is now
over and the 2024 season is on the books. How did your baseball team do? What insensitive monster asked this question? Oh yeah, it was me. I desperately wanted Anthony Rizzo to get a second ring and so that meant I was cheering for the Yankees. I'm heartsick for him. By the way, if you're curious why I'm so slavishly devoted to this man, read this post. He's done so much good for so many, and shows no sign of stopping.
PPS This is not the time to talk to me about baseball. I alternately cry and rant. Obviously right now I'm in rant mode. In a half hour, maybe I'll start thinking about Rizz playing through the ALCS and the World Series with two fractured fingers and I'll tear up. Healing is gonna take some time. (For both his fingers and my heart.)
6)
"My Girl" was written by Ronald White and Smokey Robinson. Smokey grew
up with Aretha Franklin, and he's said they played together in the
sandbox. When you were little, which playground activity was your
favorite: sandbox, jungle gym, swings or slide? The swings.
7)
In 1965, when "My Girl" topped the charts, Winston Churchill died. One
of his favorite sayings was, "I am always ready to learn but I do not
always like to be taught." What's something you learned recently? How to reach my local and state legislators. I've got their emails loaded and ready to go. Post election, I want to make sure they support my vision for my community, my county and my state. So far, led by Governor Pritzker, they are. When they do good, I want to applaud. When they don't, I want an explanation. As a resident of a (Cubbie) blue state, the way to protect what I hold dear is to stay focused on the change I can effect. Right here.
8) British-born
comedian Stan Laurel also died in 1965. He's been cited as an influence
on Jerry Lewis, Dick Van Dyke and Matt LeBlanc. Without looking it up,
do you know who Stan Laurel's famous partner was? Oliver Hardy. As in, "I'm sorry, Ollie."
9) Random question: Imagine we Sat 9-ers are taking you to a restaurant for your birthday. Do you find servers who sing "Happy Birthday" cute or annoying? Annoying, to both me and them. Have you ever been to a restaurant where the servers seemed happy to be doing this? BTW, I notice this practice seems to be dying away, and I don't lament it.
Grumpily yours,
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| Find the challenge here |
November Challenge: Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality
I admit I don't read my horoscope anymore, haven't since Covid when I stopped commuting everyday and read a printed newspaper on the train. But for this prompt I looked up Georgia Nicols, the astrologer I used to read. Her daughter Kelly Benson wrote the outlook for Sag in November:
I should:
• Embrace opportunities for solitude as I consider what to "release" before the beginning of my personal new year (my birthday)
• Not feel the need to be "on" all the time
• Review my financial affairs (I have been wondering what to do with my retirement savings with Trump's fakakta tariffs on the horizon)
• Reassess my habits (stretch more often, Gal!) and declutter my space
It all does sound relevant, so it fits my life if not my personality.
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| Find the challenge here |
November Challenge: What you wore today
I checked the work schedule and saw that today at the card shop I would be working with Rose, not Jen. Rose is very young and her style is rather funky and Bohemian. Therefore I felt under no obligation to dress like a nice grown up. So I wore my faded jeans and a crew neck baseball sweater. No team in particular, just a lilac and cream sweater. It's very comfortable and I was happy to see it for the first time this fall. Oh yeah, white Nikes.
I've noticed that Jen and Lainie dress up for work. Rose and Kamilah dress to express themselves. Our new, temp manager, Katie, is very casual, as was Ceecee. I adapt my ensemble to mimic theirs, as best I can. I'll never be the fashion plate Lainie is, or dress with Jen's expensive eye to accessories, but I do put more thought into it when I'm on the floor with them.
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
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| Find the challenge here |
November Challenge: Your opinion of your body and how comfortable you are with it
The way I look at my body, and why, has changed radically over the years.
When I was in my 20s, I worked out obsessively. At least 4-5 times a week. I weighed myself twice every morning, before and after my shower. I had great legs but no matter how hard I worked at it, I could not get down to a size 4. I was stuck at size 6. Much of the reason for that is (to borrow from A Chorus Line) "tits and ass." I'm just round in the balcony and orchestra pit. Which is fine, except it was very important for me to be equally attractive naked as trendily dressed. It was hard. It was a job in and of itself.
You see, I not only had to be hot for my boyfriend in the bedroom, he had to be proud of me in public. No, it was not a healthy relationship.
In my 30s and 40s, it was refreshing to find my next lovers were happy with me as a size 8 or 10.
Menopause hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel like I went in for a hysterectomy in 2011 and came out fat. I now wear a size 16-18. I don't really care.
Today is mammogram day. I am more worried about cancer than I am being attractive. In fact, now, when I worry about cancer, it is not the scars that upset me, it's losing my autonomy.
That's how I feel about my body today. Is it strong enough for me to stay independent?
Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash
WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.
PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.
1. What are you currently reading? Bad Influence by Alison Gaylin. Ms. Gaylin is the third author to take on Sunny Randall. Robert B. Parker created her back in 1999 at the request of his friend, actress Helen Hunt. Hunt was really hot back in the 90s, with an Emmy for Mad About You and an Oscar for As Good As It Gets. Her career stalled and poor Sunny never made it to the screen. But the books have survived, the series continuing even after Parker's death.
First Mike Lupica took over, and I like how he honored Parker's tone, setting and characters. With Bad Influence, Sunny finally has a woman author tell her story, and I'm eager to see how it goes.
2. What did you recently finish reading? Grudge Match by Mike Lupica.
This is the book I wanted 12 Months to Live to be! Sunny Randall is just as endearing as Jane Smith. They speak the same way -- both explain their actions by saying, "A girl's gotta do ..." and they both love their dogs, who are threatened in the same way. This makes sense because both books were written by Mike Lupica. However with Grudge Match, I didn't have suspend disbelief in ridiculous courtroom scenes, or shake my head at how many coincidences there are in life. I suspect that's because James Patterson wasn't involved with Grudge Match. Anyway, I enjoyed it and think that wherever Sunny's creator, Robert B. Parker, is, he enjoyed it, too.
3. What will you read next? Kingmaker by Sonia Purnell.
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Gal's note: I know that this holiday season, everyone has plenty of options for giving. It just meant a great deal to me to learn that the Nerf football I bought for the toy drive not only will help make the cancer patient's holiday a little brighter, it will bring relief to his or her parents. I never thought of it that way before I read this. So I hope that wherever you donate this season, it brings you the heart happiness my Nerf football brought me.
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| This is Chase. Read more about him here. |
PS Dear Baseball Gods, you bastards! All Rizz wanted was a second World Series ring and you just couldn't let him have it, could you? I'll let you know if this ever stops hurting. Just so fucking unfair!
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| Find the challenge here |
November Challenge: Five men whom you find attractive
I hate lists like this because I will invariably leave someone off and hurt that hot man's feelings. But seriously, folks ...
I have had this conversation with both my oldest friend and my late friend John. Unlike me, they both found themselves attracted to much younger men. I watch as much or more sports than they do but it's very seldom that a young-un hits me that way. Right now, the only one who inspires that old familiar thrum is Giancarlo Stanton of the Yankees. He's 35, which is old for a ballplayer but way, way too young for me to include on this list. However, in the spirit of full disclosure, and because I want to beautify the blogosphere, here he is.
Josh Duhamel may not be the greatest actor, but his smile makes me smile.
Former Cubs manager Joe Maddon is a free thinker and always his own man. Love him.
BROOOOOOOOCE!
Sir Paul
Here's how to play.
• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
This is from Grudge Match by Mike Lupica. Our narrator, Sunny Randall, is a Boston PI. Sometimes I relate to her. 😀
"Tony wants to talk to you," Junior had said at my front door. "And before you say something smart, like you can't never help yourself, it really ain't a request."
"Fortunately my schedule is wide open the rest of the afternoon," I said, "So you're in luck."
Junior turned to Ty Bop. "See that right there? She can't never help herself."
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| Find the challenge here |
November Challenge: Your family
In 2010, my oldest friend and her daughter moved to California to be with her blood relatives -- her cousin Sharon, Sharon's two sons, and their kids. The move has been a disaster. Her physical health has deteriorated, her emotions ping pong, she's lost every job she had out there and is now retired with no money. Zip zilch. She's been served with an eviction notice and has to be out of her rental on December 1.
Who is she moving in with? Her daughter is now 27 and living with her boyfriend, but "can't" take Mom in. Her cousin Sharon, now a widow, wants to see what it's like to live alone. Sharon's sons won't even help my friend with the move, so you know they're not letting her stay with them. My friend's son, now 37 and living with his wife in Philadelphia, echoes his sister and says he "can't" help his mother. So on December 1 she begins renting a room with the only friend she's made out there. The only nearby friend she has after 14 years. And their relationship is tumultuous, since she fancies herself in love with him and stirs up unnecessary drama because the feelings aren't reciprocated. This living arrangement is not tenable long term and I worry about her constantly.
Why am I writing all this here in response to this question?
Because you can't always count on family.
If I found my independence slipping away -- and who knows? I might -- I don't think I would hit bottom as my friend has. I mean, I own this condo and could always sell it I had to. But I know I could count on my niece to kick in at least some cash and my nephew -- who still lives in his old bedroom at his parents' house -- would be there for the move. But mostly I would look to my friends.
Before I found myself on the verge of homelessness, I'd consult with Kathleen, Nancy, Joanna* and Elaine. I'd call on my former art director, too. While I miss the love and support of my late friends John and Henry more than I can say, I do still have good girlfriends to lean on. Btw, I met Joanna and Elaine in 2013 and reconnected with Nancy in 2016. All people who became fixtures in my life after my oldest friends moved. I realize how lucky I am. I really don't have a hard time making friends. Which is the point of this post ...
My friends are my family.
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| Find the challenge here |
November Challenge: Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs it plays
I turned to Pandora and here's what she thought I'd like:
1. I Will Always Think About You (The New Colony Six) 1968
2. Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes (Edison Lighthouse) 1970*
3. Over You (Gary Puckett and the Union Gap) 1968
4. Don't Sleep in the Subway (Petula Clark) 1967
5. Dream A Little Dream of Me (Michael Buble) 2005
6. Return to Sender (Elvis) 1962
7. The Way You Look Tonight (Maroon 5) 2010
8. I Only Want to Be With You (Dusty Springfield) 1964
9. I Say A Little Prayer (Aretha) 1968
10. Burning Love (Elvis) 1972
Pandora was right. I enjoyed this thoroughly. I should do it more often.
