THURSDAY THIRTEEN #233

 

THIRTEEN THINGS ABOUT JOEY

1) Joey is my very big, very old tomcat. He is the gentlest, most loving soul (human or feline) to ever grace my home.

2) He is between 18 and 20 years old. That makes him, in human terms, between 85 and (gulp) 100 years old.

3) In 1999, I got him from the local animal shelter, where all the best furry family members can be found. He was left in a box on the shelter doorstep with a note saying his name was "Jeffrey," and that his humans could no longer afford to keep him.

4) My friend Kathleen's son and daughter helped me choose him from a room full of cat candidates. I remember how cute they were, how seriously they took this important task. Those kids are now in college and grad school.

5) For all that his former family anonymously gave him up, it's also clear that they loved him. For this cat has no fear of people. To him, all new humans are just friends he hasn't met yet.

6) I changed his name to Joey after Joey Tribbiani, Matt LeBlanc's character on Friends. I know my Joey is not especially bright but he is loving and lovable and I'm sure that if he could talk, he'd greet all guests with, "How 'ya doin'?"

7) His favorite activities include sleeping on the floor with the sun shining on his white belly, sleeping next to me on the couch, and sleeping on my bed with his head buried between the pillows. If sleeping was an Olympic event, we would bring home the Gold every time.

8) He needs help jumping onto the bed now, which makes me sad because it reminds me that he's old and our time together is short.

9) His favorite food is Friskies Indoor with Garden Greens.
His favorite treat is Temptations, particularly Creamy Dairy, though he's not picky. To give you an idea of how not picky he is when it comes to eating, here he is beside my girlcat Connie. Now she is very small, but still, Joey is a massive old boy. (PS Whenever I see this picture I'm reminded of how much I hate my kitchen floor.)

10) He's not so big on playing anymore, but he can be convinced to join me in the occasional game of laser tag and he keeps us all safe from attack by shoelaces.

11) In his younger days, he was quite a boxer, mixing it up first with my late cat, Billy, and more recently with the Beige Bomber, Reynaldo. But he gets impatient with that sport now, and after a few swats in Rey's direction, he's done.

12) He purrs all the time because he's usually very, very happy. He doesn't meow often, but when he does it sounds like a gurgle because he's also purring.

13) You wish you knew him. He's quite a guy.

Please join us for The NEW THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Still thinking about Still Alice

I saw Still Alice over a week ago and it's still haunting me. The tragedy of a vibrant, intelligent woman descending into Alzheimer's, and Julianne Moore's virtuoso performance, had a serious impact on this old gal.

I keep thinking about my late uncle, whom I loved a great deal. He was handsome and athletic and proud of what his body could do -- he was an excellent shot, could run marathons, downhill skied, and was a lion with the ladies. Then Parkinson's Disease captured him and he lost it all. First he had trouble with his eyes and blinked incessantly. Then his arms would spasm. Eventually it was impossible for him to control his back and spine so he couldn't sit in a chair. Finally he had trouble making himself swallow. He died in his sleep the night before the doctors were going to surgically insert a feeding tube.

I'd say it was painful to watch, except that reeks of self pity when I think of how he struggled.

The Alice of the movie had the equal but opposite predicament. Her body stayed lean and strong but her mind slipped away.

Which is worse? To be awake and aware but lose your body? Or to feel your mind slipping away?

I wish my uncle was here. For countless reasons. I want to know his reaction to Still Alice. I want to thank him for all the magic he brought to my life. And I want to tell him I love him. I'm not sure ever did. I have been thinking about it a lot, and I don't recall ever saying those three words to him.

My home sits by the train tracks. Since I saw Still Alice, I've seen two different freight trains carrying John Deere tractors. My uncle collected John Deere memorabilia. I take it as a sign that he knows I'm thinking of him.

That he knows and he understands.

Sunday Stealing

To play along, click here.

1. Three things that scare me: Clowns, squirrels, air travel

2. Three people who make me laugh: my oldest friend, Stephen Colbert and the late Nora Ephron

If he played first base, we'd have a trifecta

3. Three things I love: The Beatles, The Chicago Cubs, and men with good hair.

4. Three things I hate: RWNJs, uncooked tomatoes, and Patricia Heaton. (Everybody Loves Raymond is on almost constantly and I cannot stand the sight of that woman.)

5. Three things I don't understand: Why people smoke, anyone who doesn't love pets, and why Patricia Heaton keeps getting work

6. Three things on my desk: Lots of paper, mug, vase

7. Three things I'm doing right now: this meme, giving my cat Connie her nighttime dose of affection, and trying to figure out this Hart to Hart episode that I tuned in at the 45 minute mark. (Yeah, it's a stupid show, but I find Robert Wagner's voice hypnotic.)

8. Three things I want to do before I die: I don't answer these questions because I'm afraid that once I accomplish the three things, I have to die.

9. Three things I can do: Write, speak well in public, fart around/do nothing

10. Three things I can't do: Sing, dance, lose weight

11. Three things you should listen to: me, The Beatles, and if ever you're in Chicago, our local PBS news show Chicago Tonight

12. Three things you should never listen to: Patricia Heaton (don't look at her, either), Fox News and anyone in a bar talking religion or politics (unless it's me)

13. Three things I'd like to learn: Spanish, self-discipline, and SEO (search engine optimization)

14. Three favorite foods: steak, pizza, ice cream

15. Three beverages I drink regularly: Coke, orange juice, water


16. Three shows I watched as a kid: The Man from UNCLE, Batman, That Girl

I'm not exactly sorry, but ...

I earmarked $1000 of my refund for fun. That's less than 30%. I'm putting most of it to savings/bills, some of it to completing my bathroom renovation, and $1000 for fun.

I've been daydreaming about what to do with that $1000 for a while. For every spring for years and years I treated myself to a spring spa getaway. Precious alone time in a new setting where I recharge my batteries. I always come back having learned something new -- about myself, about the world -- because of the change in perspective. I love these spa trips. Especially now, when I'm so bored with winter and know how chilly and unpredictable a Chicago spring can be.*

I've been to the Arlington in Hot Springs, AR, many times. Beautiful country. I've toyed with going back. My aunt goes to the Smoky Mountains and her postcards and photos made me miss it.

I've been to, and loooooved, Chateau Elan in Atlanta, but it's just too expensive. Now Colonial Williamsburg has a high quality destination spa and that's brought me a lot of joy. I love being immersed in American history when I'm not immersed in lotions and potions.

And then there's the spa in the graceful old Peabody Hotel in Memphis. I've never been there, but I've heard good things, and it would give me a chance to go back to Graceland. I planned on staying at a hotel right across the street from The King that actually has a guitar shaped pool! I loved how that trip would be a mix of stately and trashy.

But no, I'm going to Los Angeles next month. For just a long weekend of doing nothing I couldn't do here.

My oldest friend is going off the rails. Her depression is getting the best of her and her life feels hopeless. Her shrinks -- an MD and a PhD -- aren't able to come up with the right mix of meds and therapy to help. She's suffering and her pain is real. I love her and I worry about her.

So I'm arriving on a Friday, staying in an affordable little hotel walking distance from The Grove mall, and flying back on Monday. I chose to stay near The Grove because my friend -- who used to love going to the movies when she lived here -- never sees films anymore, even though she's living in the film capital of world. Parking at the malls with the multiplex cinemas is impossible. OK, she can park at my hotel and we'll walk. The advantage to staying by at the hotel is that I'll still get some alone time. I don't relish the thought of staying with my friend and her daughter and all their drama. This is my vacation, after all, and if I want to stay in a hotel, that's what I'm gonna do.

So there goes $911. It's expensive to travel 2000 miles. It just is. Hot Springs, Williamsburg and Memphis are also closer to Chicago and cheaper. While I spent a lot of time on the phone with Travelocity and I'm confident I'm getting the best ORD-LAX rate, it's still a bitch.

Now I know my friend and I will have fun. We always do. No one has ever been able to make me laugh like she does. And she's feeling isolated and needs a friend. I have the vacation time and I have the money and it feels like the right thing to do. Besides, we already have another trip to Vegas planned for my birthday in November. If she's willing to travel to celebrate me, this seems fair.

So Los Angeles in spring, Vegas in the fall and Key West for Christmas. My life is not too shabby. I realize that.

It's just that I keep seeing banner ads for the trips I'm NOT taking, and they make me sad. Beautiful travelogue shots of the Williamsburg and Memphis pop up and I'm filled with longing.

Oh well. This is the right thing to do. I can't afford to fly out to LA and pamper myself and continue renovating my bathroom. So the spa trip just has to go.

Sometimes being a grown up sucks.

*Really, never visit Chicago in spring. The weather can be sunny and 50º one day and 30º with freezing rain the next. I hate it. That's why I never go to Opening Day at Wrigley Field. The weather always sucks.

Saturday 9

Here I Go Again (1982)

1) This song originally appeared on Whitesnake's Saints and Sinners album. Are you feeling more saintly or sinful this morning? A wee bit sinful, since I have other things I should be doing but I'm meme-ing.

2) Whitesnake was formed by Brit David Coverdale, who now lives in Lake Tahoe, NV. Have you ever wanted to relocate to another country? Maybe Toronto (I visited there a while ago and really liked it). Maybe London. Living in Chicago, I get so short-tempered with people who don't speak English, I could not bear moving to another country and annoying its denizens because I don't know the language.

3) In the song, Coverdale says he "was born to walk alone." Do you enjoy time on your own? Or do you quickly get bored or lonely? I seldom get bored or lonely. I miss individual people at times, but I like being alone.

4) During the band's 1980s heyday, Coverdale was known for his skintight leather pants. Do you own leather pants or slacks? Ha! No.

5) What about snakeskin? Double ha! No.
 
6) It's estimated that 20,000 people die of snake bite every year. Approximately 1,000 suffer fatal spider bites. Less than 50 are killed each year by sharks. Considering sharks, spiders and snakes, which do you find scariest? Spiders. Since I'm allergic to bee sting and have to carry my Epipen, I assume that a spider bite would be very bad for me.

7) In 1982, when this song was popular, the world lost Princess Grace of

Monaco. Before she became a royal, she was film star Grace Kelly. Have you ever seen a Grace Kelly movie? I've been a fan since I was in high school, babysitting and watching late night TV, and saw the Country Girl for the first time. She's all quiet and mousy, wearing glasses and cardigans for the first hour. And then she shows up for the party scene and, oh, my! No one rocked a LBD like Grace! Which is not to say she wasn't a good actress. She was. And it probably would have been good for me, at that tender stage in life, to have paid attention to what happens to girls who fall into co-dependent relationships. Woulda saved myself a lot of grief and wasted time. But no, I was all, "look how pretty!"

8) Speaking of movies, the top-grossing film of 1982 was ET: The Extra Terrestrial. Have you seen it? Once all the way through. I've got bits and pieces a dozen times.

9) Random question: How many timepieces will you have to reset when we spring ahead this weekend? Three keywound clocks, the microwave, and four wristwatches. Oy, I'm gonna be busy!

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #232

OUR THIRTEEN 

MOST INFLUENTIAL 

FIRST LADIES

Every First Lady fascinates me. She has one of the world's most visible roles and yet no job description. In real-time, no woman has done it well and has been subject to scathing and unfair criticism. Yet somehow, in retrospect, they all did it better than whomever currently resides in The White House.

Over the past 31 years, the Siena College Research Institute has regularly polled historians and scholars, asking them to rank each woman in these categories: Background, Value to the Country, Leadership, Being Her Own Woman, Accomplishments and Courage. Here's the 2014 ranking of those who really rocked it.

1) Eleanor Roosevelt
2) Abigail Adams
3) Jacqueline Kennedy
4) Dolley Madison
5) Michelle Obama
6) Hillary Clinton
7) Lady Bird Johnson
8) Betty Ford
9) Martha Washington
10) Rosalynn Carter
11) Barbara Bush
12) Laura Bush
13) Edith Roosevelt

Eleanor has ranked #1 in every one of the SCRI polls. Her New York Times obituary called her "The World's Most Admired Woman." She was recently at the center of a prestigious Ken Burns/PBS documentary series, introducing a new generation to her integrity and her accomplishments.

Yet during her 12 years in the White House, she was criticized for her big mouth with its big teeth, her lack of fashion sense, for traveling too much, for being too informal a hostess, and for all-around "meddling." 

See what I mean?
 


Please join us for The NEW THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Don't let the door hit you, Oprah

So Oprah Winfrey is closing her Harpo Studios on the city's west side. That means 200 jobs are leaving Chicago. Jobs we can ill afford to lose right now. I shouldn't be surprised. This is far from the first time Oprah has dissed us, her "adoptive home."

When Oprah Winfrey Presents The Color Purple came to life off-Broadway in 2004 and had its world premiere, did she have it in Chicago? No, she went to Atlanta. Never mind that Chicago has a vibrant, world-class theater community and musical productions as diverse as Sting's The Last Ship and Mel Brooks' The Producers got their starts here.* She had her "baby" open in Atlanta.

And then there's her school. In South Africa. Like the inner city girls she saw in Chicago day in/day out for decades couldn't use a leadership academy? As she told Newsweek in 2007, "I became so frustrated with visiting inner-city schools [in America] that I just stopped going. The sense that you need to learn just isn't there. If you ask the kids what they want or need, they will say an iPod or some sneakers. In South Africa, they don't ask for money or toys. They ask for uniforms so they can go to school."

Gee whiz, Ms. Winfrey, you don't think you have added to the worship of things? It's no accident that when people imitate Oprah, they often have her shouting to her audience, "YOU GET A CAR! AND YOU GET A CAR!" If local kids think they need electronics or cool shoes, it's possible it's because she plugged them on her show. Her annual "favorite things" shows was a ratings grabber so she continues the feature in her magazine. It's fun and I enjoy it, but there's no denying that it commercializes Christmas and perpetuates the attitude that you can giftwrap happiness.

(I could also slag her for the measles epidemic, since she was one of the first and certainly the most influential to give Jenny McCarthy's now thoroughly discredited anti-vaccine stance a forum. Like any should ever take medical advice from a former MTV hostess and Playboy centerfold. But never mind. I'm concentrating on Chicago right now.)

I'm not the only Chicagoan who is sick of O. At the health club on the Monday after the Oscars, I heard two different conversations among women who were either 1) glad Selma didn't win Best Picture because Oprah was a producer and no one wants to see her holding an Oscar or 2) unhappy to "even see her face" during the Awards show.

I was surprised to overhear these two separate shots of vitriol, but also a little relieved to discover I'm not alone.

*With me in the audience. Yea!

The meeting where I went all Norma Rae on her ass

I don't enjoy my condo association meetings. The wrong people do the talking and there's always too  much whining and it all inevitably goes down when I'd rather be home watching NCIS. But I'm there to help my neighbor Sally, who had a stroke that's left her deaf and so I sit with her, trying to take down what everyone is saying so she can read it on screen and follow along.

Last night's meeting was just as long (90 minutes!) and tedious as I've come to expect. But I'm glad I was there because, well, somebody needs to remind people that our neighborhood is diverse and our building reflects that.

Late last year* it was agreed that our building is in terrible disrepair and we simply don't have the money to fix what needs fixing. I could try to explain how we got into this mess -- and much of these meetings is devoted to assigning blame -- but the bottom line is this: we're in a hole and we've got to dig out.

Our new board President, Pedro, and a rather aggressive new neighbor, Cathy, asked how much the board can legally, unilaterally raise assessments. The answer: 15%/month. And so Pedro decided that's what we should do. Fortunately the other board members talked him out of that. While the money is, most definitely, needed, that's a steep increase to suddenly hit people with. (For me, it would have been an extra $40/month.)

Instead they settled on a "13th month" assessment, where we each double our allotted assessment in September. That one-time only hit turns out to be about 8% -- far more affordable than 15% -- and since it's not due for six months, it gives people a chance to start saving for it or earmark their tax refund for it.

Well, Gwen doesn't like the idea. She says she wants to see documentation on where exactly the money is going. She wants us to consider a higher, ongoing increase. She wants ... she wants ... she wants ...

I don't give a shit what Gwen wants. First of all, she doesn't even live in the building. Her father, the sweet but vague and neverendlingly annoying Mr. B., owns two condos and she no longer trusts him to manage his own affairs. OK. But that's between the two of them, father and daughter, and there's no Gal in that equation.

Secondly, she's being more than a little insensitive. Considering that she looks to be about 60, she can't use naivete as an excuse. I lost my patience and spoke up. Or, perhaps more accurately, opened a can of whup ass.

I pointed out that while a single extra assessment, due in six months, may not be all we need, it's all many of our neighbors can afford. While she and Mr. B. use one of the condos as an income generating rental property, we have neighbors who are eking by. Retirees, working mothers, those underemployed and working 20-25 hours/week in retail. It's unconscionable for her to not take their situations into account. They are our neighbors.

I won.

And yes, it feels like a victory.

*Or was it early this year? It's all a hideous blur!

It hit me hard

Saw Still Alice over the weekend, starring Julianne Moore in her Oscar winning role as a linguistics professor hit by early onset Alzheimer's. It's a powerful movie, and she's wonderful in it.

But it upset me. Really upset me.

It was hard to watch a vital woman -- at 50, she's younger than I am -- lose everything. As she says in one of her last lucid moments, she's begun to "Master the Art of Losing." She loses her curiosity, independence and confidence. She becomes a burden to those she loves.

Gulp.

Watching it stirred a lot of feelings for me. I am independent. That's what I am, first and foremost. I have always steered my own ship my own way. It's the only way I know how to live.

And yet I've discovered recently that I'm tired. Not lonely. There's no one I want to spend more of my life with than I currently do. But tired of being the only one holding the reins, tired of being responsible for everything. I believe that's what's at the heart of my current cowboy obsession. I'd love to be the only woman on the Ponderosa, protected and pampered and ... eh hem ... "romanced" regularly.

 But that's a fantasy. I know it is. And there is something way more disturbing than always, always being the responsible one, the capable one. And that is not being able to be responsible and capable.

Sunday Stealing

17 Meme

Are you a jealous person? At times.

When is the next time you’re traveling out of state? I don't have any firm plans until (sigh) November. I may slip away this spring. Depends on my finances.

Can you write your name in a foreign language? La fille elle-même

When you’re getting ready for something, do you listen to music? Not usually

What is your favorite day of the week? Thursday

What is something you did yesterday and wish you could’ve done today? Nothing

If you woke up tomorrow and knew/spoke a different language, which language would you want it to be? Spanish (#3 notwithstanding)

What did you last order online? A sweatshirt from Hanes.com

Do you have any specific hobbies? Do watching cable and farting around on the internet count?

What’s a song you recently discovered that you want to tell everyone about? I recently rediscovered Leslie Gore. Until the news coverage of her recent death, I'd forgotten all about this song and about her. Which is too bad, because I loved her on American Bandstand and Ski Party when I was very little. I forgive her for completely misleading me about what being a teen would be like. It ended up more "At Seventeen" than "Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows." Which is also too bad.

Favorite fall or winter accessory? The touchscreen gloves my nephew gave me for Christmas. He found a pair emblazoned with the Cubs logo. I love being able to switch playlists without freezing my fingers, and I love being reminded of baseball during these very cold days.

What did you last eat? Pringles. (Don't judge me.)

Look to your left. What’s there? A lamp.

How long does it take you to fall asleep? Yes.

Is there a TV in the room you are in? Yes. I'm watching a PBS special about Al Capone. It contains nothing I don't already know, so soon some space will be available on my DVR.

What comes to your mind when I say red? .... white and blue

Name something you think is pointless? Complaining about the cold and snow. IT'S WINTER IN CHICAGO. Stfu.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Stop! In the Name of Love (1965)

1) When this song was popular, the Supremes were known for their long gloves and full-length gowns. When was the last time you got dressed up? The last time I put any real thought into what I wore was when I met my friend and her husband for my birthday dinner late 2014. They took me to a restaurant I'd never been to, so I wanted to be appropriate. In Chicagoland parlance, my friends are very "North Shore" -- very nice and very good people, but very aware of appearances -- and I didn't want to embarrass them. (BTW, I wore a red blazer over a black blouse, and I was fine.)

2) With a record 12 #1 hits, the Supremes remain America's best-selling vocal group. This must have been hard for Betty McGlown, the fourth Supreme, who left the group before they recorded their first song. Can you think of an opportunity you missed? In 2004, I weighed two job offers. One was from a start up agency that had just hired a friend and former boss as her their chief creative, the other was from the venerable agency with the sterling reputation where I'd been freelancing. I took the latter because 1) I didn't want to risk the friendship by making my former boss my new boss and 2) I really liked my team at the grand old agency and 3) I wanted security. Well, I'm still at that agency more than 10 years later, which is an outstanding accomplishment in advertising. But the Recession hit the big shop harder than it did the smaller, more nimble start up, so I'm very, VERY sure I'd be making more money if I'd gone to work with my friend. In 10 years, I've gotten exactly two raises and one $500 bonus. Taking inflation into consideration, I'm making less money than I did in 2004. Gulp.

3) When "the girls" (Diana Ross, Mary Wilson and Flo Ballard) first started hanging around Motown, founder Berry Gordy was reluctant to let them record. After all, they were still in high school. They refused to give up and eventually convinced him to let them add hand claps and finally back up vocals to recordings by other Motown artists. Tell us about a time when your persistence paid off. It's funny. I can think of many times I've been persistent, but in retrospect I was really just stubborn and I'm not sure it's ever "paid off." I think maybe instead of being persistent I should learn when it's wise to let go and move on.

4) 50 years after its release, "Stop! In the Name of Love" is one of the most popular karaoke songs. Do you know the lyrics? Baby, baby, I'm aware of where you go each time you leave my door. I watch you go down the street, knowing your other love you meet. But this time before you run to her, leaving me alone and hurt, think it over. Haven't I been good to you? Haven't I been sweeeeeeeet to you? STOP! IN THE NAME OF LOVE! Before you break my heart. Think it over. Think it over ... I could go on, I most certainly could. I am a 24K Diana Ross fan. Seen her in concert at least four times and am always, always impressed. 

 5) There's a children's playground named in Diana Ross' honor within New York's Central Park. It includes swings, slides, rope bridges and a fountain. When you played in the park, what did you run to first? The swings. Swings are one of the few things I've loved more and longer than Motown.

6) Diana stumbled in her high heels and broke her ankle as she left the stage after a November 2012 concert. What do you have on your feet right now? I'm barefoot.

7) Ever the trooper, she honored her commitment to perform at a White House-sponsored Christmas concert just weeks later, even though her leg was still in a cast. Tell us about a time when you "played hurt." I went to work the other morning even though my tummy was bothering me. Throughout the commute, I wondered and worried that perhaps I hadn't made the right decision, if you know what I mean. I know this sounds silly, but February seemed too early in the year for a sick day.

8) Young Diana Ross was a good student and a tough competitor who made her school's swim team. Are you a good swimmer? Yes. My form may not be great but my endurance is awe inspiring!

9) Diana's older sister, Dr. Barbara Ross-Lee, was the first African American woman to be appointed dean of an American medical school. Decades ago, Barbara juggled post-graduate studies and raising small children. Are you good at multi-tasking? I used to think I was, but I've discovered I'm not. When I do two things at once, I don't do either of them well. 

By the way, one daughter is the lead singer of the best-selling girl group of all time, and the other is the first woman to be appointed dean of a medical school. Are the Ross girls trying to make me feel like an underachiever?
 

 

Thursday Thirteen #231

THE THIRTEEN MOST POPULAR

TV STARS OF ALL TIME 

How to rank something so incredibly subjective? By turning to the TV Bible, aka TV Guide, of course! It's been publishing regularly since April 1953. And here are their thirteen most frequent cover subjects.

1) Lucille Ball -- 31 covers

2) Mary Tyler Moore -- 24 covers

3) Johnny Carson -- 23 covers

4) Bill Cosby AND Oprah Winfrey -- tied at 19

5) Larry Hagman -- 18 covers

6) Carol Burnett -- 17 covers

7) Barbara Walters AND Carroll O'Connor -- tied at 16

8) Michael Landon AND Michael J. Fox -- tied at 15. These two Michaels grew up before our eyes on the cover of TV Guide.   

•  Landon was 23 when he had his first cover, as Little Joe Cartwright of Bonanza, in 1960 and 54 when TV Guide ran a cover story memorializing him upon his death in 1991.

•  Fox was 21 when he appeared on his first cover as Alex P. Keaton of Family Ties in 1982, and 52 at the time of his most recent cover in 2013.

9) Cybill Shepherd -- 14 covers (I was surprised she was this popular)

10) Lawrence Welk AND Raymond Burr AND Jaclyn Smith (what an odd combination!) -- tied at 13

11) Richard Chamberlain AND Roseanne AND Ted Danson -- tied at 12

Tom Selleck in 1980 ....

... and 35 years later

12) Bob Hope AND Candice Bergen AND Mike Wallace AND Tom Selleck -- tied at 11 (Selleck was on the cover for the 11th time earlier this month)

13) Andy Griffith AND James Garner AND Jerry Seinfeld AND Hugh Laurie -- tied at 10

Please join us for The NEW THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Speaking of moving on and letting go ...

In the post immediately below, I write about a blogger whose unrelenting partisanship can make her posts very ugly (regardless of how many times she quotes Jesus). And it got me thinking about people who get so wrapped up in their hate, they are stuck.

This got me thinking about one of the coolest guys ever, Ben Bradlee, and one of the most uncomfortably formal guys ever, Richard Nixon. No two people could have been more at odds throughout their professional lives than these two. Ben Bradlee, after all, published Woodward and Bernstein. Next to Nixon himself, no one did more to bring down the 37th President than Ben Bradlee.

Yet they managed to be cordial whenever thrown together. One of my favorite stories about Ben Bradlee (whom I admit I was a little in love with) concerns the party he threw for one of his longtime reporters, a man who was retiring from the newspaper business because he was dying of cancer. Everyone who had worked with this reporter agreed he was a great guy, and they wanted this farewell party to be a big, important celebration of the man's life and work.

Throughout this reporter's long career, one of the people he had covered most often and most closely was Richard Nixon. By the time of this party in the mid-1980s, Nixon had long since resigned the Presidency. But two things are eternally true: 1) anyone who has held the Office inspires awe, regardless of how they left it and 2) Richard Nixon and Ben Bradlee are adversaries.

Because of #1, friends of the reporter's wanted Nixon to participate somehow in the party. It would mean so much to their dying comrade. Because of #2, no one thought it likely.

Everyone underestimated both Bradlee and Nixon. During the party at Ben's home, the Bradlee landline rang. When the call was put on speaker, a familiar and oft-imitated voice was heard by all. "They said I would never visit China, but I did," Nixon announced to the room. "And they said I'd never call Ben Bradlee's house, and I just have."

I love this story. The way Bradlee and Nixon got past their massive, historically consequential differences makes me believe anything is possible.

In the age of Google, there's no excuse

There's a blogger out there that I visit on occasion because she plays Saturday 9, and since I took that meme over from Bud, I try to be inclusive and check out everyone's responses. But this Floridian dipshit is not only a RWNJ, she's literally an ignorant one, and such people make me nuts.

Her most recent rant was about the Oscars, and how in her opinion it's not a place for politics. OK, it's her blog and naturally she's most certainly entitled to her opinion. But then everyone's friend in Florida went off on how Jane Fonda spoiled the Oscars by using them as her political platform.

Except Fonda didn't use Oscar night that way. Never. Not once. Proud daughter of Hollywood that she is, she wouldn't. After all, before she was Hanoi Jane, she was Henry's daughter.

When she won for Klute, this is her acceptance speech in its entirety. This is it. At the height of her Vietnam activism, these two sentences are all she said:
"There's a great deal to say, but I'm not going to say it tonight. I'd just like to thank you very much."

When she won for Coming Home, she didn't talk about Vietnam, even though she could have because returning Vietnam vets were the subject of the movie. Instead, she signed most of her speech because, well, I'll let her say it:
"I'm so happy. I wanted to win very much because I'm so proud of Coming Home and I want many people to see it. I'm signing part of what I'm saying because when we were making the movie, we all became more aware of the problems of the handicapped. Over 14 million people are deaf. They are the invisible handicapped and can't share this evening. This is my way of acknowledging them."

What a bitch that Hanoi Jane is, huh?

I understand people who object to many of Fonda's activities during the war. Hell, in retrospect she denounces some of those actions herself.

It's how sloppy some bloggers are with the facts. It's like this Floridian would rather slag Fonda, and hang onto her rage toward Fonda, than be accurate or, God forbid, move on. I mean, Coming Home was made in 1978, and Jane hasn't won an Oscar since.

Oh well, with this post I'm moving on. I'm never visiting "everyone's friend from Florida" again. Life is too short. (Sorry, Bud.)

While I'm oversharing ...

... I must remember to take my acid controller (generic Pepcid) before heavy meals AND whenever I have just a touch of alcohol. Tonight when I got home I had just a wee bit of brandy,* and guess what happened.

I worry about the long-term impact that acid can have (my mom suffered from Barrett's). Plus it's gross. So I must be more vigilant. My doctor tells me this doesn't have to turn into anything more if I work to control it.

So I have a zit on my lip and I throw up a little in my mouth. Yes, I feel like a prize package.

*I don't know why I'm suddenly channeling an old Irish sea captain, but really, it was less than a shot.

The post where I reveal ...

... how deeply, incredibly shallow I am.

I have a zit on the right side of my lip. On my lip line. I hate it. It looks like a cold sore. I think about it constantly.

I never notice anyone else battling this. And I've been looking. On the train, in elevators, I check out faces, hoping to find comfort in company. But no. Everyone is dewy as a fresh morn but me, the one with the zit on my lip.

I do take strength in knowing I'm not the only one to ever face this tragedy. A quick Google search for "lip line pimple" brought me 141,000 responses.

I think it might be caused by all the chapstick and other emollients I've been applying to my lips this very dry winter.

Don't worry. I'll publish updates to keep the blogosphere aware of this fast-moving event.

Sunday Stealing

The Colorful Meme. To play along, click here.

Could you tell me please, what color each of these things are?
~ Your hair: Light brown
~ Your eyes: Green
~ Your shirt: Bright gold
~ Your socks: I'm barefootin'
~ Your shoes: See above
~ Your purse: Light brown
~ Your wallet: Reddish brown
~ Your phone: Black
~ Your computer/laptop: Silver gray
~ Your earphones: Black
~ Your best friend’s hair: Dark brown
~ Your best friend’s eyes: Brown
~ Your sky today: Cloudless, pale blue

Nightmares

My sleep is usually dreamless, at least as far as I remember. Which is why it's noteworthy that over the last 10 days I've had three rather vivid nightmares.

1) The Work Dream. The Powers that Be at the office replaced the Chocolate Covered Spider with the one person I want to see less: my older sister. Because our last names are different, they didn't realize what they'd done until it was too late. And suddenly I find myself having to put up with her hostile crazy on a daily basis all over again.

2) The "I Broke a Heart" Dream. There's a party at church today at 4:00. It's for all of us in the Secret Pals program. I meet the little girl (code name: Pink Giraffe) that I've been corresponding with this month. Judging by her handwriting, she's about 5. For this afternoon's party, I have purchased her favorite food (Hostess chocolate cupcakes), printed out line art of giraffes for us to color, and found this "gemstone excavation kit" for just $5 (the dollar limit assigned by the church). That's all reality. Now for the nightmare: I lay down after lunch for "just a minute" and wake up at 9:00 PM -- hours after the party ended. I imagine Pink Giraffe sitting there, dejected, surrounded by adults and children and wondering where I am. I hate myself.

3) The Purse Dream. I'm on vacation in a touristy outdoor park, like Venice Beach. One of the street vendors is a woman who gives doggie pedicures. She has her own adorable little white mutt there -- painted nails, oversized glamorous sunglasses -- to drum up business. I drop my bag and fall to my knees to pet the pup and when I'm done, my purse is gone. So is my wallet, my ID, my phone, and the Epipen I need in case of bee sting. So I'm stranded and feeling completely vulnerable in a strange city.

No wonder I woke up this morning with a zit. Lately being asleep is as stressful as my waking world!

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Freeway of Love (1985)

1) In this song, Aretha's ideal car is a pink Caddy. What's your dream vehicle? Any car that comes with one of these.

2) Have you ever owned a convertible? Nope. The only car I ever owned was a big old boat, an old Chevy Impala. No convertible roof, no sun roof ... you even had to crank the windows.

3) Aretha longs to "drop the pedal and go." Are you a careful, conservative driver? Or do you enjoy going fast? I don't drive.

4) Aretha's grandmother Rachel helped raise her. Tell us about one of your grandparents. My dad's mother was a fascinating little lady. Born nearly 100 years ago, she grew up in a world that didn't offer women many employment options. She was a happy stay-at-home wife and mother, even during the tough years of the Depression. But her outlet was community involvement. She was on just about every church committee, was on the PTA Board, and became President of one of the biggest Girl Scout Councils in the country. She was a successful and very effective leader, and her style was inclusive, gentle but very focused. She touched many lives in tangible ways, raising a lot of money and doing a tremendous amount of good.

5) Aretha played a waitress in the 1980 movie, The Blues Brothers. Have you ever worked in food service? Nope

6) Aretha was a chain smoker for decades and had a terrible time giving up cigarettes. What habit do you wish you could break? I take in way too much caffeine.

7) A sculpture of Aretha is at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in New York City. What's the last museum you visited? In December I returned to Chicago's Museum of Science and Industry. If you ever get a chance to see it, GO, GO, GO!

8) Since Aretha has many honorary degrees, it would be appropriate to refer to her as Dr. Franklin. Who is the last person you addressed by his or her title (Officer, Father, Pastor, Dr., etc.)? While my minister carries the title of Reverend, I call him by his first name. So the last one I referred to by title is the vet. One of my cats requires a prescription diet, so I visit his office about every six weeks.

9) The daughter of a minister, Aretha enjoys singing "church music" and her 1972 CD Amazing Grace is one of the best sellers in gospel music history. Do you have any gospel music on your phone, iPod or MP3 player? I've got Elvis singing "Up Above My Head," as only Elvis can.

And so it begins!

Today, one of the coldest February days ever recorded here in Chicago, is the day when pitchers and catchers report to sunny Mesa, AZ.

Hey, hey! Holy mackerel! No doubt about it! Holy cow!

The "next year" we've been waiting for is finally here.

Thursday Thirteen #231

Thirteen Things about Zynga

... because I was wondering about the company responsible for where I spend so much of time online.

1) Zynga is the online developer responsible for some of social media's most popular games.

2) More than 400 million people have played Farmville and/or Farmville 2 (I'm one of them; Level 96).

3) According to Zynga, more than 55 million matches of Words with Friends are being played at any given moment.

4) Founder Marc Pincus named his company after his late and much missed bulldog, who graces the company logo.

5) The company is headquartered in a six story building in San Francisco.

6) In addition to health and life insurance, employees enjoy free meals all day long.

7) Every day is "bring your dog to work day" and there's a dog park on the building roof.

8) Employees are encouraged to take public transportation to work and are reimbursed dollar for dollar for their BART fares.

9) If they drive, they can use the onsite car wash.

10) Despite all these perks, some employees complain that there is little room for advancement at Zynga. Of course, I think it's fair to say that any big company is going to have its share of anonymous, disgruntled employees.

11) Zynga also has smaller offices in Austin, Chicago, Eugene, New York, Orlando and San Francisco. 

12) Their chief, and more successful, competitor is King, the company who gave us Candy Crush Saga.

13) Zynga's stock fell in the fourth quarter of 2013. Experts blame that on the difficulty the company has had converting it's most popular games from desktop mobile apps. For companies like Zynga and King, mobile now represents 60% of their business (I only play on laptop).

Please join us for The NEW THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

More than a little ashamed of myself

It's cold here. Really cold. And it's been this way for a long time. In December and January it didn't bother me so much, but it's been dragging on so long I must admit it's even now getting to me.

Yesterday, as I was boarding the el, I was stuck behind two old men. They were moving onto the car soooo slowly, not because of physical infirmity, but because they were trying to decide where to sit. AARGH! So as the train pulls out I'm still standing there in the aisle, holding the strap and being jostled with my laptop bag off one shoulder and my purse off the other, both sliding off my big, puffy coat. My thoughts about these old men were most definitely unkind.

Oh, poor, poor pitiful me.

When they finally settled into their seats, I got a look at them from the front. One of them was wearing an Honor Flight cap. So he was a veteran. Maybe WWII, but judging by his age, more likely Korea.Yeah, Gal, you can stand in the aisle for a second or two while men who served and suffered overseas because that's where their country sent them settle into their seats.

To make me feel even worse (and at this point I didn't think that was possible), the one wearing the cap was talking about a college course he was taking. I get home from my little job and veg out. Here he is, more than old enough to be my father, still improving himself.

It was an everyday reminder that today, I can do better.