Sunday Stealing

Four 5's

FIVE things on my to-do list:

1. Book a ride to/from the airport for my upcoming trip

2. Wrap a pair of birthday presents

3. It wouldn't kill me to vacuum

4. Write to my cousin

5. Pick up a prescription at Walgreen's

 

FIVE snacks I enjoy:

1. Potato chips

2. Cookies

3. Cold cereal (I go through periods where I love it, and then I forget about it)

4. String cheese

5. Apple sauce in little cups for kids' lunchboxes

I eat like a child, don't I? 

FIVE places I have lived:

1. My parents' house

2. My apartment

3. My condo

4. 

5.

 

FIVE jobs I have held:

1. Receptionist

2. Administrative Assistant

3. Copywriter

4. Creative Director

5. Shopgirl

 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Do You Know the Way to San Jose (1968)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

1) In this song, someone moves to Los Angeles looking for "fame and fortune" but ends up with a job "pumping gas." Today, the majority of service stations are self serve, so very few people pump gas for a living. Can you think of another job that used to be common but doesn't exist anymore? Elevator operator. Every time I see the movie The Apartment – and it's one of my favorites, so I've seen it a lot – I watch Miss Kubelik in her uniform and carnation, getting to know everyone who works in that massive office building and I think, "That looks neat."

 

2) The San Jose travel bureau advertises "300 days of sunshine" every year. How is the weather where you are today? Chilly and cloudy. But it should be. I'm so glad that awful unseasonal heat is behind us!

 

3) Lyricist Hal David became fond of San Jose when he was stationed there while in the Navy. Tell us about a place you visited that you have affection for. Hot Springs, AR. It's so green and being a flatlander from Chicago, I'm enchanted by the rolling hills and trail that leads up to the Hot Springs Mountain Tower. This is the Grand Promenade at the foot of the trail. I always had such good times on my solo spa trips to Hot Springs. 

 

  

4) Composer Burt Bacharach grew up and worked primarily in New York until his marriage to actress Angie Dickinson. She had to live in Los Angeles for her career, so he relocated and remained a Californian for the rest of his life. Where do you feel most at home? (It doesn't have to be a city. It could be your favorite chair.) Curled up with these two.

 

5) Dionne Warwick thinks this week's song is "dumb." She won her first Grammy for "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?" and, decades later, still sings it in concert, but she has not changed her opinion of the song. What is something everyone else seems to like but you just don't get? Football. 

 

6) Now in her 80s, with more than 60 years in show business, Dionne still enjoys performing. She told a reporter that she loves looking out into the audience and seeing an arm go around a shoulder, or a couple begin holding hands, when they hear her sing "their song." What song reminds you of a special romance? I was in love with the most conservative, straight-laced guy. It was a delight to see him go all parrot-head, complete with Hawaiian shirt and foam fin.

 

 

 

 

7) In 1968, when this song was popular, The Doris Day Show premiered. The show was, initially, a surprise to its star. Her manager/husband died suddenly without telling her he had committed her to a weekly sitcom. She was not pleased but honored the contract. Think of the last time you were surprised. Was it a happy or sad surprise? One of my coworkers surprised me by asking me how things were going for me at the store ... and she meant it. I felt very safe being frank with her. I was surprised and grateful for her sensitivity.

 
8) According to the Social Security Administration, the most popular baby names of 1968 were Lisa and Michael. Are there any Lisas or Michaels in your life? Yes, on both counts.

 

9) Random question: What are you looking forward to this week? This coming week I'm going to Michigan to meet our newest family member, Baby Violet!

 

 

Thursday Thirteen #435

 This one started with a sniff. I have two bottles of rubbing (isopropyl) alcohol – one in the kitchen and the other in the bathroom. While I use the alcohol for many things, often I sniff it. Really. When I have a tenacious cold or feel the flu coming on, I check to see if I can sense that distinctive smell. It reassures me I don't have covid. Silly, I know, but in 2020 during those dark pre-vaccination days, I had a bad case of covid and my first symptom was no sense of smell. Today that familiar sniff comforts me. (Yes, I realize this is not definitive; it's just my way of dealing with post-covid PTSD.)

This TT was inspired when I overheard someone say she was given alcohol to sniff when she came out of anesthesia because it helps prevent nausea. So there's a more scientific reason to sniff alcohol! 

I found a variety of uses for alcohol at Healthline. Most of these do not include sniffing. 

1. Surface disinfectant for thermometers, tweezers, etc.

2. To clean cuts 

3. To treat post-op nausea (again, sniff it, don't ingest it)

4. Astringent to tighten pores

5. Deodorant (but not after shaving your armpits)

6. Applying a rag soaked in rubbing alcohol can soothe aching muscles

7. Cleaning dry erase boards

8. Refreshing kitchen sponges

9. Deodorizing shoes by spraying alcohol inside and then letting them dry in the sun

10. Removing ink or marker from clothes

11. Removing the adhesive left behind by stickers

12. Refreshing cloudy mirrors

13. Removing water stains from stainless steel faucets

 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? The Mysterious Mrs. Nixon: The Life and Times of Washington's Most Private First Lady by Heath Hardage Lee.  I recently finished a long and quite balanced biography of Richard Nixon and it left me wondering about Pat. On one hand, the Nixon's had what appeared to be a good marriage. There have never been any rumors of infidelity, separation or serious, ongoing domestic discord. Her pregnancies were joyous and uneventful (though one of her girls was born with a broken shoulder, thanks to 1940s-era obstetrics). As First Lady, she was on the "Most Admired" lists. Then she had to endure Watergate and leave the White House engulfed in scandal, knowing her accomplishments and place in history would be forever tainted. I hope this book will tell me how she dealt with all the anger she must have felt, and where that anger was directed.

 

I didn't realize she was had always been a very complicated woman. Her mother died when she was just 12, leaving Pat to clean and cook for her father and brothers. Her father took ill and she became his nurse until his death when she was in high school. She had to wait and earn money before she could go to college, since times were hard and higher education for her brothers was the priority. She had a long list of jobs before she finally got the degree she longed for. Then she got a teaching in Whittier, CA, where she met Dick Nixon. She wasn't sure she wanted to marry him. After being responsible for others her whole life, she liked being independent. She liked having her own money. Yet marry him she did. I was intrigued by her letters to him during WWII. Yes, of course she missed him. Yes, of course, she prayed for his safe return. But boy, she enjoyed that alone time in San Francisco when he was stationed in the Pacific. I admit I'm intrigued by this self-sufficient woman.

 

Ms. Hardage Lee tells the story in a linear fashion. She relies a great deal on the recollections and writings of Julie Nixon Eisenhower, so I question how balanced it is. But it's giving me a window into the life of a formidable woman I grew up on without knowing anything about her.

 

PS There's an ongoing compare/contrast with the much better documented life of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. The author assumes Jackie had a much easier go of it. Financially? Certainly. But the Kennedy marriage was famously marked by infidelity. She endured five difficult pregnancies and brought only two babies home. Oh yeah, and she had to wipe her husband's brains off her face, so there's that. Besides, why do women have to pitted against one another – and by a female biographer? I admit it's pissing me off.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Murder on a Mystery Tour by Marian Babson. A young English couple have a cat named Ackroyd and a rambling estate called Chortlesby Manor. Maintaining the big old house is expensive, so to make ends meet they rent it out to an American company that hosts "mystery tours," aka staged murder mystery weekends for well-heeled tourists. There's a snowstorm, an unexpected guest arrives, the roads become impassable and someone is murdered. Not as part of the staged mystery, for real.

At first I was into this book. Babson was good at setting the scene and taking us backstage as the innkeepers prepare for the mystery weekend. But then it just got stupid. No one with an IQ higher than that of a gnat would behave as these tourists did upon discovering the murder. I stuck with it because I'm stubborn, but I'm glad it was only 220 pages so I don't have to resent wasting that much time on it.

 

I hope it's the worst book I'll read this year, but there's still over two months left and I don't want to jinx anything. 

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

 

  

 

Sunday Stealing

Meme Schmeme

Complete the thought:

I AM I said. (Neil Diamond)

I LIVE in sad, stressful times. Donald Trump has only been President for 9 months. It feels like 9 exhausting years. Greetings from Chicagoland, where our local police protect us from the federal government. (See post below.)

I THINK I can still make a difference, though. I'm proud I participated in No Kings yesterday.  

I KNOW Shohei Ohtani is a unicorn and I'm lucky I get to see him play.  

I WANT the AL to win the World Series, though. I am so over the Dodgers and their fans.  

I WISH there was someone else here who could clean the litter box. Didn't I just do it yesterday?  

I PRAY all the time.  

 

 

I wore Henry's necklace

 

The Wrigley Building, 10/18; Chicago Sun Times

Yesterday I attended my third No Kings protest. While the above photo is of the main rally in Chicago's Loop, I went to the one in my neighborhood. I wanted to be there for my minister, who made the opening remarks. She was followed by a performance by a group of senior women who sang an original composition for President Trump ("Now You've Pissed Off Granny") and "Amazing Grace." Then we marched from the WWI memorial, past the post office and my church (along with two other churches) and through the business district, past the card shop where I work.

Sounds pretty Norman Rockwell, doesn't it? Well, according to Speaker Mike Johnson, I'm a pro-Hamas, America-hating member of Antifa. That's what this Administration does when you disagree with it – they demonize you. MAGA supporters choose to believe it because, well, they accept whatever fits their narrow worldview.

I have not posted about what life has been like during Operation Midwest Blitz because it's too depressing. Armed men who refused to wear masks to protect their fellow man during the Covid-19 pandemic now wear them to scare us as they pick up our neighbors and "disappear" them into the facility in Broadview. I am not kidding. 

These are not "the worst of the worst" that Kristi Noem and Tom Homan brag about bringing to justice. These are Uber drivers and Home Depot day laborers. My friend Kevin no longer buys tamales at lunch because the lady who sold them off the cart in front of his office building is now gone. My friend Jamie was standing feet away from a protester named Levi who was pulled into the Broadview facility and detained for hours. ICE agents have been spotted waiting in the parking lot outside the children's museum. Yes, you read that right. They want to arrest parents in front of their children. They intend to separate families.

ICE is legally prohibited from entering businesses or residences in my neighborhood, so we have a protocol in place at the card shop where I work. They can stalk sidewalks and parking lots. If I feel "unsafe," I am to go into the office in the back, lock the door, and call the local police. Yes, I am supposed to wait for my beat cop to come protect me from my federal government. Mike Johnson doesn't talk about that, does he? 

I dressed for Saturday's protest with care. I wore an Anthony Rizzo foundation t-shirt because it champions pediatric cancer research, and this administration has drastically cut funding to universities that do this work. I put on a necklace I got in Key West, because my darling friend Henry worried so about being "a gay brown man in Trump's America." I used to think he was paranoid. I know now he wasn't. I miss Henry ever day, but I am glad he isn't living through this. A Puerto Rican, he was born an American citizen. I can't bear to think of him being required to prove it, just because of his skin and his accent.

It's ruefully amusing that Donald Trump so obviously lusts after a Nobel Peace Prize. He may be trying to stop wars internationally, but he is using force against us here in Chicagoland. I don't know what award they give for that, but it ain't the Nobel Peace Prize. 

PS While Chicago is safer today than it was during Trump's first Administration, there is still a serious problem with violence. It's not because of illegal immigrants, though. The cause is – wait for it – illegal guns that come in through the porous borders with our neighboring states. Indiana and Kentucky both have far more lax gun laws and it's just lucrative to sell guns here. If Donald Trump was really interested in saving lives, he would send the ATF here, not ICE. But I'm not stupid. I understand that gun fetishists vote MAGA. He doesn't want to make me safer. He wants to pander to his base to solidify his own power. And so I march and work the campaigns of progressive candidates. 

I'm a fan of Madisonian Democracy. NO KINGS!

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Into the Groove (1985) 

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

1) Madonna begins this song by telling us, "I'm waiting." What's something you're waiting for today? For the rain to stop.

 

2) She sings that dancing gives her a feeling so good she hopes it will never end. What reliably lifts your spirits? Cuddling a cat.

 

3) As a school girl in Michigan, Madonna was a good student but could be disruptive. Classmates recall her doing cartwheels in the halls between classes. Can you do a cartwheel?

X Do Not Want Stickerfrom X Stickers

 

4) It's not surprising that a girl from the Detroit area would love cars. Madonna's car collection is valued at more than $2 million. The one she seems to drive most often is a 2022 Cadillac Escalade ESV. Insurance industry data tells us Americans typically keep their cars for 8 years. How long have you had your current vehicle? I don't have a car.

 

5) She has referred to Nancy Sinatra as one of her idols, saying "These Boots Were Made for Walking" and its accompanying video impressed her when she was a little girl. What pop song brings back memories from your childhood? As a 3-year-old girl, I got very excited whenever this came on the car radio and sang along as best I could, much to the amusement of my parents.

 

 

6) Madonna suffers from brontophobia, or the fear of thunder and lightening. Are you afraid of storms? Not usually. I get a little concerned when tree branches slam into my living room window, but that only happens when the wind really whips up.

 

7) In 1985, when this song was popular, the Titanic wreckage was discovered. There have been at least a dozen movies about that ill-fated ship. Have you seen any of them? I saw Leo and Kate, of course. There's one from the 1950s starring Robert Wagner and Barbara Stanwyck that I've seen a time or two, also.

 
8) Also in 1985, Bruce Willis became a star with a hit show about a detective agency. Can you name it? (Extra non-existent points if you can recall the agency's name.) Moonlighting, and the Blue Moon Detective Agency. Wherever shall I spend those extra points?

 

9) Random question: Describe your perfect ice cream sundae. Vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream, chopped nuts and a cherry. Pretty standard, huh?

 

 

Thursday Thirteen #434

The undercover edition. The other morning my go-to channel, TCM, ran back-to-back-to-back Man from UNCLE movies. Here in the States, these originally aired as two-part episodes of the TV shows, while in Europe they were theatrical releases. 

 

At first I was excited. When I was a little girl, I loved The Man from UNCLE. Ilya, Napoleon, Mr. Waverly ... in the mid-60s, they brought glamour and excitement to my young life.

 

I couldn't make it through 15 minutes of the first movie. While Ilya and Napoleon were still very handsome and unflappable, I realized I do not like spy tales. Yet people do. It's an enduringly popular genre.  

 

So this week I give you 13 famous fictional spies.

1. James Bond. There have been 27 movies 63 books, and people all over the world are consuming them.

2. Napoleon Solo. The senior agent in The Man from UNCLE series. The American, who looked great in a suit/tux and got laid all the time. Played by Robert Vaughn on TV and Henry Cavill in the 2015 movie.

3. Ilya Kuryakin. Napoleon's intense junior partner. He was more serious and reserved than Napoleon and introduced me to karate. Though played by Scottish actor David McCallum, Ilya was Russian.

4. Austin Powers. A British secret agent with bad teeth, thick glasses, a Beatles haircut and irrepressible, irrational optimism. There have been three movies and they made me laugh.

5. Maxwell Smart. Now that I'm in a jokey mood, let's look at Max. Don Adams won an Emmy for his portrayal of the inept spy. Steve Carrell played him in a 2008 movie. I watched the show when I was a kid because, well, it was on. But I wasn't really a fan. Except for Hymie. A robot, Hymie was very literal and awfully sweet and I remember him fondly. 

6. Agent 99. She was a massive big deal when I was a little girl. She was Maxwell Smart's partner and she was the competent one. She always kept her head, wore great clothes, and kicked ass. Barbara Feldon is over 90 now. I hope she realizes she what a mid-60s role model she was.

7. Emma Peel. Thinking about the ladies, I must give a nod to Mrs. Peel. I never saw The Avengers, but was aware of her as the partner of John Steed. Played by Diana Rigg, she had the distinction of confusing two of my gay friends when they were very young. John and Patrick never knew one another, but they separately confessed being madly in love with her back in the day.

8. John Steed. Mrs. Peel's Avengers partner. Again, I know nothing of the show, but I assume he was a proper English gentleman because he wore a bowler.

9. John Drake. Played by Patrick McGoohan, he was the title character of Secret Agent. I never saw this show either, but the theme song is indelibly imprinted on my memory. "Secret agent man! Secret agent man! They've given you a number and taken away your name ..."

10. Simon Templar. He was The Saint. Roger Moore played him. Along with Perry Mason, it was my icky grandmother's favorite show. I just remember I had to be very quiet when it was on.

11. Boris Badenov. I have no idea why he was assigned to "get moose and squirrel," but he tried his best to destroy Rocky and Bullwinkle at every opportunity. He worked for Fearless Leader, who in turn answered to Mr. Big. I suppose I should be embarrassed by how much I remember about Rocky and Bullwinkle, but I'm not. I loved that show.

12. Natasha Fatale. She was Boris' statuesque partner, called everyone "dah-link," and flashed a lot of animated leg.

13. Jack Ryan. I know nothing about him, except that former Cub manager Joe Maddon invokes him all the time. Created by Tom Clancy, Jack Ryan was a Navy man who went on to work for the CIA. There have been novels and movies and mini-series and video games and apparently all the world but me is into him.

Do you like spies? Did I leave out your favorite? 

 
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Murder on a Mystery Tour by Marian Babson. The library recommended this one to me because I read so many cozy mysteries. As a Beatle fan, I saw the phrase "Mystery Tour" and snapped at it like a trout at a worm.

 

Reggie and Midge have taken possession of his family's great old English mansion. The thing is – as those of us who watch Downton Abbey know – maintaining these houses is expensive. So they turn it into an inn and are barely scraping by when an opportunity arises: they can rent the mansion out to an American company that hosts "mystery tours," aka staged murder mystery weekends for well-heeled tourists. Yeah, you know what happens next. Someone gets dead for real. Of course, there's an unexpected storm. I don't have to be especially prescient to know it's going to effect electricity and phone reception.

 

So far, this formulaic mystery is still fun, but for unexpected reasons. I'm getting a kick out of all that goes into preparing for the mystery events. They have been scheduled to promote a pair of celebrity authors' books, so we get to meet the writers. Then there are the actors who view gigs like this as a way to make incremental cash. That's a lot of creative temperament and competing interests right there.

 

I like the vibe so far.  

2. What did you recently finish reading? Richard Nixon: The Life by John A. Farrell. I'm so glad I read this long (750 page) biography. His story is so American, and its echoes are making themselves heard today.

There's evidence that Nixon committed treason in 1968, sabotaging LBJ's negotiations and prolonging the Vietnam War so he could be elected that fall. Appalling. The sins of Watergate are enumerated in numbing detail (at least for me, who followed it in real time). So it would be easy to dismiss him as evil.

But there are so many instances when he truly wanted to do good. Where he did do good. He care about the environment. He wanted world peace and worked hard to make the Soviet Union and China play nice with the US. In those ways, the world is better for his having been here. These contributions cannot be dismissed.

On a personal level, his diary notes after the Kent State Massacre touched me. He responded as the father of two girls he loved. His kindness toward Jacqueline Onassis when she returned to The White House for the unveiling of her and the President's official portraits was sincere and extraordinary. Look at Trump, who said at a memorial service that he "hates" his opponents. Can you imagine our current President mourning young people who protested against him, or extending himself for the Obamas or Bidens? 

So this book was fair and thought provoking and it touched a chord in me by presenting the man in totality. My only gripe is that Farrell devoted so little to Nixon's post-presidency. He loved power so much, he was so proud. He was so paranoid and could be batshit crazy. What was his world like after he resigned in shame? And how I wish I could find an acclaimed biography of Pat Nixon. She sounds fascinating.  

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

 

  

 

Sunday Stealing

Tune In

1. Name a TV show you've seen every episode of. 

2. On which device do you do most of your viewing (television, tablet, computer, phone)? TV

3. Name an actor/actress who would make you less likely to watch a show. Roseanne Barr Arnold. A roseanne by any name still stinks.

4. When you were a kid, what show did you love?

5. What show do you recommend everyone watch? Columbo. I can't recall why I didn't watch it back in the day, but now I'm hooked. That show is so perfectly constructed, it's like a Swiss watch. 

6. What show do your friends like, but you don't? My friend Amy watches/rewatches Game of Thrones and its spinoff. One of the girls at the card shop tells me I would love Hunting Wives. I watched the first episode and she is very wrong. However, it's still a free country – despite the Trump-led FCC efforts – and I'm glad they enjoy themselves.

7. When you watch TV, do you also busy yourself with something else (jigsaw puzzle, folding laundry, etc.)? Depends on the show. I have been known to pay bills or put laundry away while watching TV.

8. Do you eat a meal or snack while watching TV? Usually. I watch a lot of TV and therefore have a very large ass.

9. What's your preferred genre (comedy, drama, reality, etc.)? Sitcoms.

10. Do you prefer mini series (shows that tell their stories in a pre-determined number of episodes) or shows that come back season after season?) or shows that come back season after season? I don't care. For me it's the content more than the format. 

 

And it's a wrap!

 

The Cubs lost 3-1 last night to the Milwaukee Brewers. This was not unexpected, as the Brewers are the better team.  I'm just so proud of my guys that they forced a Game 5 in this best-of-5 series. That took grit.

I'm also proud that the first two games were played here in Chicago, within the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field. It showed the country that Donald Trump and Kristi Noem are lying sacks of shit. Chicago is not "a killing field." There are not riots in the street, unless you consider tipsy young people tumbling out of Wrigleyville bars "a riot." 

No need to fear them

This was the season that we gave Ryne Sandberg his due and welcomed Anthony Rizzo back home. Pete Crow-Armstrong became a superstar and the team finished 22 games over .500. It was a more emotional and entertaining season than I could have imagined back in April.

I love being a Cub fan. It has enriched my life in so many ways. October baseball has been a gift.

Now all I want is for my heroes in Cubbie blue to have a wonderful winter in warm climes, filled with days on the water or on the links. 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Mambo No. 5 (1999)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

1) Lou Bega namechecks a lot of women in this song. Is there an Angela, Pamela, Sandra, Rita, Monica, Erica, Tina, Mary, or Jessica in your life? I can account for two of them.

 

2) Can you think of a song that includes your first name?

 

 

 

3) Lou sings that flirting is like a sport. Do you enjoy flirting? I am terrible at it. Back in the day, one of my running buddies said with disdain, "You don't recognize a pass until he has his hand in your bra." I was not quite that clueless, but close. I was always surprised when conversation veered to the intimate.

 

4) While Lou Bega's recording became a big hit worldwide, it enjoyed great popularity, where it was used during televised cricket matches. Do you know anything about the game of cricket? Not a thing. However I do know that the Chicago Cubs are still alive in the playoffs. Go, Cubs, Go! Obviously I don't expect a World Series. I got to see one in my lifetime and it would be rude and greedy to expect another. However I am thoroughly enjoying the unexpected gift of October baseball.

 

 

 

5) When Lou was riding high with "Mambo No. 5," Cher invited him to open for her on her 1999-2000 tour. Cher has more than 50 hit records, two television series, a Broadway show and an Oscar under her belt. Can you think of another performer who has succeeded in so many areas of entertainment?

 

My Queen

6) Lou turned 50 in April of this year. Are you soon celebrating a big birthday (one that ends in a 0 or 5)? Not till 2027.

 

7) In 1999, when "Mambo No. 5" was on the radio, the movie American Pie premiered and was so popular it inspired three sequels. Have you seen any of the American Pie films? Nope.

 
8) Also in 1999, Walmart opened its first store in the UK. Do you often shop at Walmart? Not often. I find the retail experience rather unpleasant. However they are the best for ordering groceries online. Deliveries are always on time and accurate.

 

9) Random question – Have you recently fallen asleep somewhere other than your bed? If yes, where did you doze off? On the sofa. It was a mistake and resulted in a pinched nerve in my neck. Ow!

 

 

Thursday Thirteen #433

To a special Graduate of the Class of 1975. I spent all summer dodging invites and info about my 50th high school reunion. I really had no interest in it. High school was a turbulent time for me, for my family (my parent's marriage unraveled quickly and in ugly ways), and the country (Vietnam and Watergate) and I did not wish to revisit it.

But I have been thinking about Her – the 17-year-old gal who donned a cap and gown and walked through the auditorium to get her diploma in June, 1975. Here is what I would tell Her. 

1. Take care of your teeth. First when I was in my 30s, and then again in my 60s, I spent a fortune at the dentist. Maybe if I'd been more vigilant in my teens and 20s, I could have saved myself time, money and pain.

2. Cut your hair. From the back, my mane of wavy, light brown looked lovely. But my face is too round to be framed by long hair. I finally cut it when I was in my mid-20s and it was a game changer

3. Mother does not know best. I love my mom and I miss her. But when it came to my appearance, she gave me bad advice at every turn. From clothes to makeup to hair, she never seemed to see me as I was ... and I trusted her. Once I moved out of the house and began paying attention to other women in my life and took tips from magazines, I developed my own style and looked better for it.

4. Be grateful you don't look your age. How I would cringe when anyone – especially men – saw me as younger than I was. Maybe it's my deep dimples or the oily skin that hasn't wrinkled that much, but I still don't look my age and I gotta say, it's pretty terrific. 

5. Don't squeeze your zits.  I can still see the scars from those days.

6. Stay out of the sun. You will never tan. You will only burn, peel and damage your skin. It's like the long hair thing. Doesn't matter what the style happens to be, it's not for you.

7. Don't obsess on the unibrow or the stray hairs on your big toes. It's hormones. One day – soon – you will go to remove those offensive dark hairs and suddenly they won't be there anymore. All that embarrassed worry was just wasted energy. 

8. Go to college. Do I think a degree would have made a difference in my career? Not at all. But I spent decades dying inside whenever anyone in a professional setting asked me where I went to school. If I had at least an associate degree, I would have felt like I belonged in The Club. 

9. Ride those rails! Break ranks with your family (see #3) and follow your heart. You are not a small-town girl and your future is indeed in the great City of Chicago. It's full of opportunity and diversity and it will change your life in wonderful ways – and Donald Trump can fuck himself. 

10. Tell Uncle Ted you love him. He was my favorite uncle and often my champion when I was growing up. Now that he's gone, I truly can't recall a time I told him I loved him. While I am confident that where he is now he knows, it might have done both of us a lot of good in the moment if I'd said it.

11. Continue to ignore your older sister. I can reassure you that she will always be toxic and never worth the effort. As you suspected 50 years ago, she is indeed like the Periodic Table of Elements in that she will always be completely irrelevant to your life. Unlike algebra, she can harm you.

12. Your love can't make anyone stronger, healthier or happier. It's a mistake I have made over and over (and over) in my life. There's a limit to the impact I can have on someone who is unwilling or unable to change. I either have to accept them as they are or move on. Funny, I know it's true as I write it, and yet it still sounds cold and harsh. At 67, I still have some evolving to do.

13. Nurture your passions. In some important ways, you will never change. You will always find joy in cheering the Cubs and cuddling a cat, and you'll be celebrating your 68th birthday watching Sir Paul McCartney in concert. 

 

How about you? What advice would you give you? Do you think you would listen? 

 

 

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