Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Her bathroom is ten miles away?

Saturday morning, I woke up at about 2:30 AM (as I will) to go to the bathroom. I farted around a little on my laptop to help me get back to sleep and found this email from my oldest friend. She lives outside Los Angeles, so I'll use her time stamps to tell the rest of this story. 


I've lost my self phone and am not too happy about it. Yours in misery, me.


Have you asked Alexa to call you? That's my go-to at times like this.

TO ME (JUST ME): 3:17 AM

All is well! Fou d the little thing 10 miles away. Making   run for it.

ME TO HER: 3:28 AM

Where did you leave it? How did you find it?

At this point, I assumed she'd used Alexa to call her phone and it rang at the home of her friend/one-night stand/major crush, Robert. I figure he answered and told her he would bring it over. She has major medical issues and should not be without her phone.

I heard nothing more from her Sunday afternoon, more than 24 hours later.

TO ME (JUST ME): 1:20 PM

All is well! I just tore up my house and found it in the bathroom. I know! Go figure. How're things going? Going to Robert's for Dad's Day.

ME TO HER: 3:20 AM

Your bathroom is 10 miles away?

That was Sunday. This is Wednesday. She hasn't responded so clearly, we're not going to talk about it.

I know that she's diabetic and when her blood sugar drops precipitously, she gets confused. She told me how embarrassed she was, not that long ago, when she called the police about an intruder who turned out to be a pile of laundry on her sofa. I suspect this is what happened before dawn on Saturday. 

I'm nearly 2000 miles away. I cannot help her. 

Her daughter and especially her cousin should be looking in on her. And then there's Robert. While he has made it abundantly clear that their relationship is never going to work romantically and that he is still looking for a lover who doesn't have my friend's weight/mobility issues, he does include her in his social life. Since she -- and I am being quite literal here -- has no other friends, getting her out among people is important.

I am so angry at her. She moved to Los Angeles without thinking it through. It's been a disaster. Five jobs before giving up and calling herself retired. Unremitting financial problems have her accepting public aid. Health problems that began when she fell and broke her elbow and now, somehow, she can't walk any distance without a cane. Isolation and anxiety. 

Her vaunted cousin, the one she moved out there to be with, does not really want to extend herself for my friend. I'm not sure my friend is completely honest with her adult daughter. It's easy to imagine what will happen when Robert finally lands on a regular bed partner.

I am worried. First John. Then Henry. Now her.

I am helpless to protect those I love. What the ever-loving fuck?

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash



  1. You have a lot on your mind. I suggest a lunch out with one of your other friends to cheer you up, or a few hours of window shopping if the heat is not oppressive in Chicago. A break to take care of The Gal.

  2. Oh, how I wish you could hang out at a ball game with your nephew.

  3. It's so hard to see those we care about decline. I completely agree with you about your friend moving out to L.A.. Isolation is tough. I hope the heat in Chicago isn't too rough for you. See you again soon.


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