Monday, June 14, 2021

Setting boundaries, sticking up for myself

I won't rehash this sad story again. I wrote about it. I discussed it with Brian, the other board member. Most important, I discussed it with my shrink. 

Since covid, she and I have been having Zoom appointments. She in her family den, me at my dining room table. But Saturday, we met over the phone where I was tucked away in my bedroom, which is as far away from the front door as possible. Because I am afraid in my own home. Neighbor Kevin could be in the hallway.

I am afraid in my own home.

My gut told me that having this week's condo association meeting would just exacerbate a volatile situation and could put me in actual danger. My "good girl" proclivities told me not to make waves and inconvenience everyone.

While talking to my shrink, I realized: I have power. 

Because I am on the board, they can't have the meeting without me.

After our session Saturday, I sent a message to the management company and to Brian saying that I want the meeting rescheduled to give Neighbor Kevin time to cool off and digest the cease-and-desist order (since it was mailed, he may not even have it yet). I closed by saying, if they can't accommodate me, I hope they understand why I will not be in attendance.

Brian responded that he understood. The meeting will be rescheduled.

This, right here, is why I'm in therapy.

Professionally, I am very comfortable fighting for what's right. I always keep my client's best interests in mind and will step on toes to deliver it. 

Why don't I afford my own well being the same respect?

Why in my personal life is it so important to be a "good girl?" A 63-year-old "good girl."

Oh well. That's a bigger question for another time. Right now I'm going to take a moment, breathe and appreciate that I put myself first here.



  1. Good for you. Proud of you for taking steps to take care of you.

  2. I hope the proactive steps you're taking give you a sense of power and comfort. And I hope your mangement company steps up to offer safety protocols for you and your neighbors.

  3. It is important to take care of you! I hope things turn out well for you.

  4. Sometimes you just need to be reminded that you hold power, too. I'm so glad that you chose listening to your inner knowing vs. being 'the good girl' - that's a big deal. He seems like a dangerous character and it's both scary and sad. Sending you tons of love and 3000 "atta-girls".