Monday, June 14, 2021

Setting boundaries, sticking up for myself

I won't rehash this sad story again. I wrote about it. I discussed it with Brian, the other board member. Most important, I discussed it with my shrink. 

Since covid, she and I have been having Zoom appointments. She in her family den, me at my dining room table. But Saturday, we met over the phone where I was tucked away in my bedroom, which is as far away from the front door as possible. Because I am afraid in my own home. Neighbor Kevin could be in the hallway.

I am afraid in my own home.

My gut told me that having this week's condo association meeting would just exacerbate a volatile situation and could put me in actual danger. My "good girl" proclivities told me not to make waves and inconvenience everyone.

While talking to my shrink, I realized: I have power. 

Because I am on the board, they can't have the meeting without me.

After our session Saturday, I sent a message to the management company and to Brian saying that I want the meeting rescheduled to give Neighbor Kevin time to cool off and digest the cease-and-desist order (since it was mailed, he may not even have it yet). I closed by saying, if they can't accommodate me, I hope they understand why I will not be in attendance.

Brian responded that he understood. The meeting will be rescheduled.

This, right here, is why I'm in therapy.

Professionally, I am very comfortable fighting for what's right. I always keep my client's best interests in mind and will step on toes to deliver it. 

Why don't I afford my own well being the same respect?

Why in my personal life is it so important to be a "good girl?" A 63-year-old "good girl."

Oh well. That's a bigger question for another time. Right now I'm going to take a moment, breathe and appreciate that I put myself first here.

 


4 comments:

  1. Good for you. Proud of you for taking steps to take care of you.

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  2. I hope the proactive steps you're taking give you a sense of power and comfort. And I hope your mangement company steps up to offer safety protocols for you and your neighbors.

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  3. It is important to take care of you! I hope things turn out well for you.

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  4. Sometimes you just need to be reminded that you hold power, too. I'm so glad that you chose listening to your inner knowing vs. being 'the good girl' - that's a big deal. He seems like a dangerous character and it's both scary and sad. Sending you tons of love and 3000 "atta-girls".

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