Pick up your damn phone!

I love my friend John. We have been friends for 39 years. The hallmark of our relationship is that we tend to take each other as we are. We're comfortable. But as time goes on, I find myself getting angrier with him more often. Because I don't think HE values himself as much as I do. 

For example, in 2016 he lost a toe to diabetes. This did not happen overnight. We're talking about months of showers where he looked down at his numb and discolored toe and ignored it because he didn't want to get bad news. In 2019, he was advised about a defibrillator. Then in fall, he lost his job and his insurance and has done nothing to pursue it. He turned 65 this year so he has Medicare, but you know ... a defibrillator is complicated and not fun.

Naturally I worry about him during this pandemic. He's 65, he's diabetic, and he has a bad heart. And there are plenty of assholes who aren't careful about masks and social distancing and they put my loved ones at risk.

So I'm sooooo mad at him that he willingly goes weeks without answering his phone. Really, we talked, emailed and saw one another all the time before before the corona virus. Now that his health could be compromised every time he walks out his front door, he chooses to go "off the grid."

I believe he still goes to his favorite local bar every night to eat, drink wine and watch TV from his designated socially-distanced corner table. But tonight it's rainy and 55º. There's no more outdoor seating. Drink wine and watch TV at home, for Christ's sake!

And return calls! This week we've all scolded him -- me, Gregory, his cousin Lori -- because he's gone two full weeks without calling any of us. It also bugs me that he's screening us. That he picks up his phone, looks at it, and says, "Oh, it's her," and puts the phone back down, unanswered.

I appreciate that this virus has us all rattled and our moods can be unpredictable. I get how depressing it is to turn on the news and hear Trump airing his special blend of conspiracies and grievances. I also understand and embrace personal freedom and the desire to interact on one's own terms.. But John doesn't have the right to frighten us. 

I think we have a responsibility to the people who love us.