Friday, March 15, 2019

I'm as mad at myself as at anyone else

Today was not a good day. And I'm afraid I allowed it to unfold badly.

I woke up this morning to a work email, read while I was still in my jammies, that announced a creative team meeting, suddenly called by Mr. Big himself. He doesn't care about my team or our work. In fact, I've ridden in the elevator with him and he hasn't even spoken to me. What does he want to talk to us for?

Then I saw the date. 3/15. End of the pay period. Uh oh. This is when they like to do layoffs. It's neater this way.

So I rode to the office in terror. Expecting to see a cardboard packing box near my chair. However, by the time I got in, Mr. Big had cancelled the meeting. And, in fact, had decided to take the day off. What the hey?

My boss and my art director told me not to worry. Today's aborted meeting could not possibly have been about my imminent axing. Their reasoning: (1) Management has to keep me at least until 3/25, when The Big Project is presented; (2) I was invited, and I wouldn't be asked to the meeting if I was laid off (I'd be in HR). OK, I suppose that makes sense.

But I was unsettled all day. I went to lunch with some chick-lit (The Other Side of the Story) and was starting to feel better. Then I went to the post office to buy some Forever stamps. The patron in line behind me was really rude. Hostile.

I let him get under my skin. I keep reliving it, wondering why he thought he was entitled to treat me that way.

I'm home now, and I can't relax.

I suppose I have the blues, but it's more than that.

Why do I let other people's stink cling to me so tenaciously?

Let it go, Gal. Let it go. Live in the moment.


2 comments:

  1. When things irritate me, the WHOLE WORLD irritates me. I can relate to how things snowballed for you today.

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  2. That was a Gad Awful Day, so it was.
    Once a friend of mine told me that the "Tension of The Times" was getting to me. That I should just give myself a mental vacation. Chick lit at lunch is a good little mental vacation.

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