Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Trying not to go there

I really hate how much space my older sister has in my head. It occurs to me that, by only paying $1,000 for my mother's funeral and not her fair share, she has sacrificed her long game -- which is to make me do what she wants. I am not a wealthy woman -- not by any stretch -- but I could repay her what she has shelled out to date* without much difficulty. So she really has no leverage. When she says she "expects to see real receipts, not post-its," I realize she has no recourse if I don't provide them. (Of course I will, because I am a grown up and am trying mightily to take the high road.) She has no cudgel any more.

So why did I let her ruin my shower this morning? I can't even remember which oldies I heard on the radio! When I hear her voice in my head, I must dismiss it. Change the channel in my head. Pet a cat. Think about a movie. Listen to the Lads. Cover my ears and sing "Camptown Ladies."

When this is over, I won't have to have anything more to do with her. So, to borrow from Bill Murray in Caddyshack, "I got that going for me, which is nice."

* But I didn't. Thank you to SnarkyPants and Vivian for the advice. It was wise and I took it.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


  1. Ugh, what a headache, and even worse because she's your sister and should be with you through this, instead of fighting you.

  2. she is not worth the time in your head...thankfully it will be over soon.
    i can't blame you for marking her off your list...she is a beast!
    hang in there honey..i am praying for you!

  3. She's a bully through and through. I am not the "how dare you!" kind of chick but if any situation calls for that retort, it's this one.

    HOW DARE SHE take advantage of you? Who does she think she is? Give her no power - NONE - in your mind. Rent her no space in your head. She doesn't deserve that place.

    GOOD for you standing up to her.


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