Too much!

I was given a 5-page document as an FYI. It was written by four of my coworkers at the card shop and submitted to corporate HR. These young women wanted to go on the record about how unpleasant the work environment has become because of the alliance between our store manager (Helena) and a new shift manager (Caroline). 

The girls showed me the doc because they wanted me to know they were submitting it and because they were showing their support for me. I appreciate that but ...

The first two bullets were devoted to me. How Caroline repeatedly commented that my age makes me "incompetent" and how critical she has been of my "personal taste." According to the document's authors, Caroline's "discriminatory and inappropriate remarks contribute to discomfort and a hostile workplace." 

Now to put this in perspective, the content regarding me only accounts for a portion of one page of a 5-page submission. But seeing it there embarrassed me. I choose to concentrate on the support the four authors have shown me. Still, it hurt to read. 

There is much in the document that was new to me. For example, Caroline is derisive about the panhandlers on the street outside and refers to them by their race. At a time when ICE is terrorizing Chicagoland, this kind of talk is especially insensitive. On two separate occasions, Caroline scolded an employee in front of customers so loudly and harshly that customers commented on it. She complains that specific employees leave early, even though their timecards don't reflect this.  

I could go on, but it's depressing. 

HR called me at home on Wednesday. The rep asked me open-ended questions about the "workplace environment" at our little store. Oh, for fuck's sake! This is not what I wanted to do on my day off, away from the place.

I pretended that I thought this was spurred by the conversation I had with Helena about Caroline. (After all, I didn't sign the document so I have plausible deniability there.) I emphasized that I did not want to see anyone get in trouble (not true), and I never wanted to talk to HR (true). I mentioned positive things about both Caroline and Helena, saying that I thought they were simply unprepared for their management roles. (I did this to sound balanced.) I also said I worried about retaliation – like being assigned fewer hours and worse shifts. (OK, that was just manipulative. I know how HR's ears perk up when they hear the word "retaliation." I truly don't much care if I never get another shift, since working there reminds me of Lord of the Flies. I just couldn't resist pressing the HR rep's buttons.)

This drama is taking up too much of my time and concentration. If I wasn't on my time off and a week away from Christmas, I'd just quit. It's too bad because, not that long ago, I was quite happy at the card shop. 

 

 

  

Photo by Siora on Unsplash 

 

Thursday Thirteen #443

 Keeping it merry and bright. I won't be home for Christmas so I don't decorate much. I hang a wreath on the front door and switch to a floor mat with a kitty wearing a Santa hat. That's it. I travel with a teeny-tiny nativity scene and a Santa doorknob hanger, so when I wake up in a hotel room on Christmas morning I will feel festive.

But decorating for the holiday is big business. I saw a stat that said the average American household spends between $100 and $300 on holiday decorations each year. If that sounds high, I should clarify that includes a Christmas tree. 

So what are we spending this $100 to $300 on? Here are 13 of the most popular at Walmart.com. Because each may go off and on sale between now and Christmas, I'm listing the regular price.

1. Merry Christmas Banner for hanging on the inside of your front door or the entry to your dining room. Reg. price: $16.99

 

2. Artificial Norfolk Pine Garland for mantle or staircase. Reg. price: $5.55

 

3. 3-piece Deer Set, each wearing a red ribbon, to illuminate the front yard. Reg. price $157.99

 

4.  "In Memory" Ornament to remember "a life so beautifully lived and a heart so deeply loved." Reg. price $14.99

 

5. 4-ft. Pre-lit Artifical Tree with white lights and black tinsel. Reg. $66.99

 

6. Pair of Solar-Powered Christmas Trees for the front yard. Reg. $49.99 

 

7. Gingerbread Initial Letter Ornament. Remember how Mary Tyler Moore had an "M" on her wall? Now you can have an ornament with your initial on your tree. Reg. $3.39

 

8. 9 ft. Red Berry Light Garland to decorate your mantle or staircase. Reg. 23.99 

 

9. Lighted Snowman for the front lawn. Reg. 87.49

 

10. Tabletop Pre-lit Christmas Tree, just 20". Reg. $19.99 

 

11. Plush Christmas Gnomes, one red and one green. Reg. 24.99

 

12. Brass Bell Door Hanging, "vintage authentic" cowbells to decorate your door. $12.99 

 

13. Tabletop Nativity Scene. Figures shown in silhouette, made in metal. Reg. price $39.99

How about you? Are you surrounded by holiday decorations? Did you buy any new pieces this year?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Sunday Stealing

Catherine's Questions

1) What one word describes your personality? Complicated.

 

2) What's the best way to get on your good side? Adopt a dog and/or cat and see that critter gets its best life.

 

3) What person do you feel most comfortable with? Someone who accepts me as I am.

4) Do you handle criticism well? No.

 

5) Are you the type to tell someone, if asked, that their pants DO make them look fat? No.

 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: First Christmas (2024)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) The song mentions snowmen and snow on a windowpane. Has it snowed near you yet? Yes. More than once. We ended November with the snowiest Friday that month has ever seen here in Chicago. More snow fell after that and we're expecting up to another inch this weekend. So YAY! White Christmas!

2) Diane Keaton sings that hearing "I'll Be Home for Christmas" makes her miss someone she loved who won't be coming home at all. Is there a Christmas song that reminds you of a loved one? The wretched "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" reminds me of my favorite uncle. He looooved it. Especially the line, "As for me and Grandpa, we believe." It is not representative of him. He was a clever, sophisticated man. Yet Elmo & Patsy got him every time. So every time I hear that vomitous song, I smile despite myself.

 

3) After the song was first released for Christmas 2024, Diane said she appreciated how many people posted on her Instagram, sharing their "First Christmas journeys," explaining how they navigated the first holiday season without someone special. What have you recently posted on social media (other than this blog post)? Two Facebook friends – one a former coworker, the other a member of my movie group – celebrated 12/12 birthdays. I wished them each many happy returns of the day.

4) Diane appeared in the Broadway musical Hair and sang in movies like Annie Hall and The First Wives Club. Still she didn't consider herself "much of a singer." How about you? What's something you do, even though you're not completely comfortable doing it? Signing people up for the rewards program at the card shop. I have to enter the customer's name and email address myself. Chicagoland is very diverse. Normally I embrace this, but admit I stumble over the spelling of surnames like Czajkowski and Carrasquillo.

 

5) This was Diane's first and, sadly, her only record. She was nervous doing it, but it helped that the lyrics was written by her friend, Carole Bayer Sager, and that both Carole and her writing partner, Jonas Myrin, were with Diane in the studio. Tell us about a friend who came through for you. Last month, my friend Joanna went out of her way to make this a happy birthday for me. She knows it's been hard for me after the deaths of two close friends last year. It was so kind of her.

6) After her 75th birthday, Diane said she was excited that new ventures were coming her way and she found herself saying "yes" more often. In addition to recording this week's song, she accepted an unexpected offer from Look Optic to design eyewear. Have you recently tried something you've never done before? OR What's something you'd like to try? More than a decade ago, I tried to learn Spanish. I was interrupted by a health challenge. Once I got through it, I just didn't return to Spanish lessons. I should!

 

Now for some questions about the holiday season ...

7) Do you display the holiday cards you receive? Yes. I have 9 taped to my door so far. Looking at them makes me happy.

8) This is a big time of hear for necklaces, hats and headbands decorated with jingle bells. Will you be wearing any bells this season? No.

 
9) The website Morning Save included these three items on their list of this season's popular gifts. Would you rather receive: a. cup holder/phone mount for your car; b. sherpa lined clog slippers; c. set of three stainless paring knives with rosemary green plastic handles? Slippers. What's not to like about slippers?

 

 

 

I think I want a divorce

Monday will be my last workday of 2025. I have very mixed feelings about this.

Months ago, I put in for vacation from 12/22 to 12/29 because I didn't know a) what day Elaine would want to go to The Music Box Theater to see It's A Wonderful Life, which has become an important holiday tradition for us and b) when I would be traveling to Michigan to celebrate Baby Violet's first Christmas. 

Around Thanksgiving, I heard that two very lovely young women – Dierdre and Madeline – were coming home from college to work Christmas break. I told our store manager, Helena, that I was OK with her giving some of my hours to the girls. I emphasized that it wasn't that I don't care about the job, it's that I understood how much Diedre and Madeline needed cash. After all, they are making their eating money for the last semester, whereas I'm really working for the state tax deduction. She said she understood. 

So I guess it stands to reason that I'm not working. Didn't I engineer that way?

Yet when I looked at the schedule through January 2 and didn't see my name, I got worried. Is this because I complained to Helena about Caroline? Or simply because I asked for the time off and said I was okay with fewer hours?

Probably the latter. But the fact that the former even occurred to me is an indicator of how unsettled I've become at this job. I hate that I'm thinking about the card shop when I'm not there, and not in a good way. The workplace vibe is different since the cast of characters changed a bit last autumn. I'm not happy there. I like the physical structure – it's a quaint shop. We sell pretty, fragrant things. Our customers are, by and large, happy and friendly. It's us I don't care for anymore. I don't like the team. It's not a comfortable fit anymore.

I don't want to work there as it is. I want to work there as it was. 

Looking back on my working career, I have found myself here before. I believe in the work but not my coworkers. I always stuck it out before because I felt I had a responsibility to my client and, oh yeah, I was highly paid. I feel no such obligation at the card shop and while I like the money, I don't need the money. When my financial advisor ran the numbers and laid out my retirement, he didn't even take my current salary into account. 

I find myself fantasizing about quitting, about using that time to volunteer on upcoming political campaigns and the food pantry. Maybe after two years it's time to retire again and let a new chapter of my life begin.

But maybe I'm in a mood. I don't want to walk away from something I have enjoyed – something that has enriched my life by teaching me new things – on a whim. On the other hand, I don't want to stay too long at the fair.  

Here we are at Christmas. Rumor has it corporate may be making changes to our little shop before summertime. Maybe the decision will be made for me. 

I'm going to monitor my mood. I'm going to discuss it with my shrink. I'm going to pray on it. I don't want to pull the trigger too soon and regret quitting. On the other hand, I don't want to waste my life dreading a job that really – in the scheme of things – is not worth the agita.

 

  

Photo by Siora on Unsplash 

 

I like the beard

Yesterday I had another dual crown lengthening.* The oral surgeon and I have been down this route at least twice before. This was our smoothest procedure yet – minimal bleeding, my face isn't swollen, the anesthetic and pain meds worked.

What disturbed me was my reaction to the surgeon. A man I've seen at least three times since 2023. 

When he came into the room, it was like a rom-com. Under the harsh fluorescent light, surrounded by picks and scalers and drills, I heard music swelling and birdies singing. I was in love.

He's grown a salt-and-pepper beard since last year. It's changed his look completely and for the better.

My reaction was disturbing, but not unpleasant.

 

*From Healthline: The periodontist cuts the gums to pull them away from the teeth, exposing the roots and bone. In some cases, only the gum tissue needs to be removed. The surgeon then washes the surgical area with salt water before suturing. They suture the gums back together, sometimes placing a bandage over the area for additional protection. 

Photo by Caroline LM on Unsplash 

Thursday Thirteen #442

My mom would approve of this TT. She took our holiday cards very seriously. I was taught that you never, ever, just sign your name to a card. You begin with a "Dear So-and-So" and close with some  personal sentiment. 

 

In some ways, I am my mother's daughter. This is one of them. And so here are 13 sentiments for you to use as you sign off on your holiday cards. 

1. May your holidays be merry and bright (mine for 2025)

2. Enjoy the wonders of the season (I've used this one in the past)

3. Sending holiday cheer

4. With love and hope for the year ahead

5. Have a cool yule and quench your thirst on the first (I always signed my cards to my late friend John that way)

6. Thank you for a wonderful year (good for doctors, my hair stylist, etc.)

7. Happiest of holidays 

8. Peace and joy

9. Cheers!

10. Season's greetings (simple and elegant, like a little black dress or single strand of pearls)

11. Here's to a holly, jolly holiday season (I've used this one, too)

12. Happy Krimble (suitable for Beatle fans. IYKYK)

13. Sending love and blessings 

What about you? Did you send cards this year? Have you received many yet?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up

1. What are you currently reading? Deck the Hounds by David Rosenfelt. Bruce Springsteen's memoir (below) was so intense, brimming with passion and dysfunction and ambition and rock and roll, that I wanted something simpler and more straightforward. And Christmas-y. Christmas-y would be nice. So I picked up this Andy Carpenter mystery.

 

I love Andy. An independently wealthy, super-talented defense attorney who is constitutionally unable to shut up, he's one of my favorite "cozy mystery" protagonists. This time around, Andy finds himself going into the Christmas season by walking it like he talks it and helping a homeless man. A homeless man who, of course, has a dog. Every Andy Carpenter mystery begins with a dog. 

  

2. What did you recently finish reading? Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen. When it comes to music, my personal airwaves are ruled by THE THREE B's: The Beatles, Babs and Bruce. I could probably go the rest of my life without listening to anyone else and still be pretty happy. 

 

Last year I read Barbra Streisand's memoir and was fascinated. Often annoyed, never bored. Which is something when you're talking about a memoir of 900+ pages. So when I picked up Bruce's 500-page autobiography, I expected to zip through it with a similar reaction.

 

I didn't. I am shocked to report that, at times, I was bored by Bruce. The man who has held me entranced onstage for up to four hours, the Boss who led the soul-shaking, earth-quaking, heart-stopping, pants-dropping E Street Band bored me at times! His book is, objectively speaking, better written than Streisand's. But he just didn't have her audacity and indefatigable need to be understood. Really, at times in her book, I felt like Streisand was gripping me by the collar and yelling, "HEAR ME!" With Born to Run, I felt like the very literate Professor Springsteen was trying to impart his hard-earned wisdom. And I got bored! (Not often, mind you. But the fact that it happened at all surprised me.)

 

But I'm glad I stuck with it. Bruce is surprisingly candid about his own shortcomings as he takes us from boy to man, from musician to celebrity, from loner to family man. It's a journey that includes many bouts of depression and hour upon hour of therapy. I admire his courage and his honesty about needing and getting help. It's hard to imagine a more male American specimen than the Boss. I think he may be able to destigmatize mental health issues for men with his memoir and the bio-pic Deliver Me from Nowhere.

 

I also loved hearing how some of my all-time favorite songs came to be. I can't thank Bruce enough for the music that moves my soul. I now know "Bobby Jean" is not about a lover but a friend, Steve Van Zandt. As one whose most solid relationships have been with my friends, it adds a new and poignant dimension to a song I always loved.

Now let's see if Sir Paul writes his life story. Somehow I'm not holding my breath. The Cute Beatle has always been more opaque, played it closer to the vest, than either Babs or Bruce. 

3. What will you read next?  I don't know.

 

  

 

Use it. That's what it's there for.

I keep my money in different "funds," all within my savings account. Every month I earmark money for the dentist, for insurance, for vet bills, etc. Then I don't touch it until it's needed for that purpose. Since I am the keeper of both the funds and the calculator, I can move the money back and forth if I need to. (That's how my kitchen remodeling fund became my Paul McCartney concert ticket.)

When my friend Henry had his accident back in 2018, I began a "fund" for him. $15/week went into it. I knew how he and his husband Reg struggled financially in the best of times, and Henry's medical bills were an additional, almost unbearable burden. I used the money from this fund to help Henry with "extras," especially at Christmastime. I sent postage stamps, so Henry could afford to send the holiday cards he lovingly created. When I visited them for the holidays, I took Henry shopping so he could have something for Reg under the tree. Their dogs received a Chewy delivery or two. Lots of little things, paid for out of this "fund" so my own budget felt no strain.  

Henry's been gone a year, but I've kept the fund up, just changing the heading in my spiral notebook from "Henry" to "Friends." It's up to $880. 

No, make that $780.

I just sent Joanna a Target gift card with $100 on it. 

When she paid for my birthday lunch on 11/22, she jokingly expressed relief that there was still credit available on her Visa card. I was surprised – she chose the restaurant (the iconic Walnut Room) and as soon as we sat down she asked what alcoholic beverages we were going to toast with. She told the waiter that "of course" we were having Frango Mint cheesecake for dessert. We could have done the Walnut Room for less, or we could have dined at a more affordable restaurant. But this is what Joanna chose ... for me. Because she knows how hard my birthday is without my friends Henry and John. She wanted to make my birthday perfect and it was.

Joanna is 70. Her business is struggling and she has no retirement savings. She is very matter-of-fact about her "life on the edge." Of course, Joanna is matter-of-fact about big things. The woman is conversational about losing everything in Katrina! Two divorces. The slow, painful cancer death of her older brother. Her lover's dementia. Things that would have knocked other women on their asses, Joanna absorbs and then gets on with life. As was said of that other formidable daughter of the South, Scarlett O'Hara, Joanna "takes her fences cleanly, like a good hunter." She doesn't falter or show fear, she just goes ahead with no fanfare.

I admire her. I appreciate her.

So I sent her $100. It will be enough to give her a little wiggle room, but not enough to cause her embarrassment. After all, we don't exchange Christmas gifts and she hasn't asked for my help, making her dignity is a consideration.  

Perhaps she will use it as Henry would – to buy a gift she couldn't otherwise afford. Or maybe she'll spend it as I would – to pick up stuff for my pantry. 

It won't have any long-term impact on Joanna's finances, but it will make next week easier.

I happen to be reading Bruce Springsteen's memoir as I post this and think of him exhorting "Rosalita" – Use it, Rosie! That's what it's there for! 

I heard you, Boss. I used the "Friends" money. That's what it's there for.

 

PS Henry would approve. He was the most loving person I ever met. I like that I was able to spend what was originally "his" money this way.

Sunday Stealing

Stolen from Tom

1) What was the scariest thing in the world to you when you were a kid? Does it still scare you now? When I was really little, I went through a period where I was terrified of escalators. It wasn't the motion, it was the sharp points on the steps. They looked like teeth. Every once in a while, as I step onto an escalator, I flash back to being that little girl and it gives me pause.

 

2) Imagine your 12-year-old daughter (or granddaughter) is hosting a sleepover at your home. A sudden storm knocks out cellphone service, wifi and cable. How would you keep these suddenly unplugged pre-teens entertained? We'd play The Story Game. The first girl begins by writing two lines of a story, but folds the paper so that only the second line shows. The second girl continues the story, based only what she can see. She writes two lines and again, folds the paper so only her second line shows. You go around the table and by the time you're done you have a very silly story that will make all the girls laugh. If my personal history is any indicator, they will likely want to do this again and again.

 

3) What piece of movie or TV memorabilia would you love to own? Roy Hobbs' Wonder Boy bat from The Natural.

4) You are gifted with the services of a personal assistant for four hours. What would you ask your assistant to do? Please restore order to my den! I just throw stuff in there, close the door, and pretend it's not there. I need help!

 

5) If literary characters were real, which one would you like to interview, and what would you ask? Either one of these two women. By the end of Gone with the Wind they were both so real to me that I have questions. Mostly I'd ask them their attitudes toward slavery. I have a feeling that Scarlett didn't care about it – she was so apolitical and incurious about the world that she accepted it without weighing the moral implications. I suspect she had less trouble adapting to The Reconstruction than Melly did. How could Melanie, the one who was always so good and always saw the best in everyone, wholeheartedly support The Glorious Cause? How could she square the circle of slavery with her Christian beliefs? Let's talk, Ladies. Maybe it would help me understand the fetish some Southerners still have for the Confederacy today.

 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Ja-Da (1918)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here. 

 

1) The lyrics tell us the melody is soothing. What calms you when you're upset or anxious? These two.

 

 

2) There was a lot going on in 1918 – like WWI and the Spanish flu pandemic – that left people upset and anxious. In those days, radio wasn't yet a staple in American homes so people received their news through newspapers. Today with podcasts and 24 hour cable news and social media and other news outlets available, do you ever feel like taking a break from current events? Yes. I'm tempted to dial back because current events can leave me feeling hopeless. But I'm haunted by something my friend John said: In Berlin before the War, they didn't know they were living in Berlin before the War. That reminds me that it's my duty as an adult and a citizen to know what's going on and to do what I can when I can.

3) In addition to newspapers, magazines were a big deal in 1918. Women turned to publications like Ladies Home Journal and McCall's for trends and tips about fashion and housekeeping. Do you have any printed magazines in your home now? Vanity Fair and the AARP magazine.

 

4) Today schoolchildren often learn "Ja-Da" because it's easy to sing and play. Was music part of your grade school curriculum? Yes. Some days we had music, other days we had art. 

 

5) Composer Bob Carleton published more than 500 songs in his career. He had no songwriting partner, handling the words and lyrics himself. What's your favorite song? Was it written by a single composer or a songwriting team? Well, it's credited to Lennon-McCartney, but I'm pretty sure it was all Paul.

 

 

 

 

6) Bob got his start in his hometown of St. Louis, playing piano in his parents' saloon. When you think of St. Louis, what comes to mind? The Cardinals! As a Cub fan, that's the only possible answer.

 

7) In 1918, Americans were buying more cars and Studebakers were a familiar sight on the streets and highways. Today that name is mostly forgotten. Can you think of a brand that used to popular but has disappeared? I remember when Sears stores were preeminent, but now they're all but gone.

 

8) During WWI, Americans were familiar with "Meatless Days." Back then we were encouraged to cut back on the consumption of meat as a patriotic gesture to help the American and Allied troops. Today "Meatless Monday" highlights health and the environment. Think about your diet. Do you try to eat more grains, fruits and vegetables? I try. I'm not altogether successful, but I try.

 

9) Random question: Where did you get the shirt you are wearing right now? I'm wearing a gold nightshirt. It was a gift to me from my dear friend Henry.

 

 

 

What a difference a day makes!

"I love your earrings." That's one of the first things Caroline said to me at work yesterday. I admit it frightened me. After all, as recently as Saturday Caroline was loud and proud in her contempt for me. I remembered the famous warning about killer dobermans: They always lick before they bite. 

However, she seemed so desperately sincere – and since her skin was marked by angry red zits that weren't there Friday – I tried to tamp down my skepticism. We were alone together for about an hour, with only a few customers straggling in, and she was chatty. Perhaps even manically. Clearly our store manager, Helena, had spoken to her seriously about how to treat people. (And explained that my possible HR complaint would not look good for the store ... or Caroline personally.)

Helena herself came in early – I think in part of check on us. When she was in her office, I stuck my head in and mouthed, "thank you." Helena told me that Caroline "really wants to be nice." I guess my face betrayed my doubt, because she quickly added, "I believe her." I said – truthfully – that I was relieved to see the change and that while I had dreaded working the shift, the time was zipping by. 

I found out that Caroline is a bit of a daddy's girl and that while her family is not religious, they celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah (for her mother's family). She showed me pictures of the Christmas decorations she made for her this, her first, apartment because she admits she's broke. 

I also learned that she's from Barrington, one of Chicago's wealthiest suburbs. That tidbit softened my heart more than the rest. I wondered, but obviously didn't ask, how her parents feel about their college-educated daughter making retail her career. Here's a truism about Chicagoland – tell me your neighborhood and I can shorthand your life.* People from Barrington live in McMansions, buy new cars every other year, and would prefer their kids go Ivy League but would settle for Purdue or Northwestern. If you're not white or perhaps Asian in Barrington, you're likely working in one of those big new houses, not living in it. So a daughter who splits her 40-hour workweek between a cosmetic store and a card shop was likely not on their bingo card. Maybe that's part of the reason for her hard-charging bravado.

When I ended my shift, Caroline actually thanked me and said she looked forward to working with me next week. Huh? What? Do I believe that Helena managed to change Caroline's heart? Not really. But if she's not constantly criticizing and judging me, complaining about me behind my back and sowing seeds of dissent among my coworkers, I'll take it. 

I'm reminded something a minister told us years ago – "Don't waste your dread." I was so worried about yesterday's shift that I literally wasted hours of my life being anxious and unhappy. After all, nothing bad happened yesterday. Not a thing! I know my wariness comes in handy sometimes, but in this case I depressed myself with my distrust of my fellow (wo)man. 

Will I learn from this? We'll see.

 

 

 *In the interest of fairness ... people in Barrington would dismiss my community as woke, sanctimonious, over-taxed and over-regulated. We cry the liberal tears that MAGA loves to drink. And you know what? I'm good with that.

 

Photo by Siora on Unsplash 

Thursday Thirteen #441

As seen on TV. I watch more broadcast TV than anyone I know. It's my companion. TV is now the "white noise" that dee jays once provided when I was in junior high through my early 30s.

Because the TV is on the all the time, and because I worked in advertising for 40+ years, I pay attention to commercials. My favorites are the direct response spots. They are not driving you to an insurance agent, retail store or grocery store shelf. They want you to buy directly from them, either by call or click.

Here are 13 items I've seen advertised recently: 

1. Superstar Santa Tree.  This pre-decorated pop-up tree "sets up in less than a minute!" 

2. Rice Robot. "Cook rice perfectly without under/over cooking."

3. Plexaderm. "Visibly reduces under-eye bags and wrinkles."

4. Framebridge. Custom frame "your most prized possessions." 

5. Alien Grips. "Locks down carpets mats and rugs."

5. Relaxium Sleep.  "For peaceful sleep and energized days."

6. Omega XL. "The joint health supplement made by nature and backed by science."

7. The Dream Cleaner. "Stain Remover of Your Dreams"

8. Kind Science. Ellen Degeneres' skincare line. I'm not crazy about Ellen Degeneres, so normally I wouldn't give this a second thought but I am considering it. Victoria Jackson is also behind it, and she has legit cred.

10. LegXercise. "Passive exercise" to strengthen your legs and improve circulation.

11. Patriot Solar Power Generator. Is this "Holy Grail of Backup Power?"

12. Purewick. "Brighter days are possible" with this urine collection system.

13. Hammered Copper Cookware.  "Non stick, scratch resistant, dishwasher safe!"

 

Have you seen any of these spots? Have you been tempted to call or click?  

 

 

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

She Hates Me

Not so sweet Caroline. She's been at the card shop for four months now. Every time I see that I'm scheduled to work with her, I feel a knot in my stomach. Because she hates me. Because I'm old.  

She reminds me that I'm old frequently. No, let me rephrase: from the moment that we met, she has highlighted to me that she is young. Her regular refrain is, "The reason Helena (our store manager) and I work together so well is that we're exactly the same age." OR "Helena knows I get this issue because we are exactly the same age." First of all, it's not quite true. Helena is 26 and Caroline is 23. Secondly, it's an HR violation. It would be the same as telling a black employee: "The reason Helena and I work so well is that we're both white."

Whenever we work together – she's the shift manager – Caroline makes it plain that I am inadequate for one reason or another. I don't work with her often, perhaps once every two weeks, so I have kept it to myself. I don't expect to like everyone I work with. I don't expect everyone I work with to like me. This job only pays $16/hour, so there's a limit to how much responsibility beyond my job description I'm willing to take.

In October, I heard from coworkers who had issues with Caroline, too. Zoey, a shift manager I work with often, asked me if I found Caroline "abrasive." Fuck, yes! Then I got a text from Rosa, another sales person, who asked me if Caroline was "mean" to me because she was mean to her. Both Rosa and Zoey spoke to Helena, so I could see no reason to pile on. Besides, I only work one or two days a week, and not always with Caroline. Rosa and Zoey feel her impact far more than I do.

Then Saturday happened. We had a major snowstorm here, so the store didn't get the foot traffic that was expected. Zoey, Helena and Caroline were alone in the store. Just the three of them, no customers. 

How Caroline sees me

Caroline began complaining about me. She said that because of my age I'm "barely competent." Zoey leapt to my defense, but Helena was "weirdly silent." I found out about all this in a series of texts, received when I was in the stylist chair getting my hair cut, from an infuriated Zoey. 

Zoey even sent me a photo of the card that's tucked in the drawer under the register. Titled, "We Listen," it has instructions for reporting HR violations. 

I texted back to Zoey that she should calm down, I would take it from here. I told her there was no reason for her to be involved with this.

That was Saturday. From Saturday to Monday, I had been upset. I resent this. I was upset about Caroline while writing out my holiday cards, and I usually love writing out my holiday cards! I can't let problems at this little job take my joy.

Monday I had an hour-long chat with Helena. I may be an old fart, but I can read an HR manual. I emphasized to her that, while I was not willing to go to corporate, Helena should know that Caroline is putting the store and indeed the corporation at risk.* I mentioned that it's not only spelled out in the printed guide we received, age discrimination and the definition of "a hostile workplace" are demonstrated in the videos we all had to watch. She thanked me for "the grace" with which I have handled this. We'll see if anything comes of our conversation. 

I only work with Caroline two more times between now and year-end. Unfortunately, the next time is tomorrow. Sigh. I am not looking forward to this. I wonder if, right now, Caroline is plotting where to hide my body.

I admit I'm suffering PTSD here. I have dealt with difficult bosses and fractious coworkers countless times since I entered the workplace as a secretary 50 years ago. When I was a creative director, there was a lot more at stake than there is at this card shop. This really isn't that big a deal.

Except that I thought this was all behind me. For the most part, I enjoy this little job. Most of the girls I work with – and they are girls, only one is over 30 – are welcoming and charming. My customers are great fun. I don't feel like dealing with workplace politics again. I resent it.

I hated writing this post. But I wanted to get it all down. I find that I sleep better and breathe better if I get it all down.

 

*Our little store is owned by a publicly held company worth $200 million. 

Photo by Valentin Balan on Unsplash 

Sunday Stealing

F.A.B.

F. Film: What movie or tv show are you watching? I am about to watch The Thin Man for my movie group. I love that movie.

A. Audio: What are you listening to? I'm now up to date on Joe Maddon's Book of Joe podcasts. 

B. Book: What are you reading? Born to Run, Bruce Springsteen's autobiography.