"Know thyself"

My best friend called me this evening. He needed to speak to me right then. Immediately. He was in the car, en route to an impromptu dinner with his boss. His boss usually works out of the Chicago office, had just arrived in Denver for a meeting tomorrow (unrelated to any of my friend's projects), and wanted to take my friend out to dinner when he was in town.

My best friend was freaking out. What did his boss want? What was it that could only be said, face to face? Was he in trouble? What had he done, or hadn't he done, that would cause his boss to arrive in Denver on Monday night for a Tuesday afternoon meeting? His self doubt was really sad.

I told him what I truly thought, "Your boss thinks it would be weird to be in Denver and not see you." I waited by the phone for about 90 minutes, just to make sure I was right. I was.

He's good at his job! He's not the best marketer I've ever worked with, but he's solid. He has very good people skills. I tell him this all the time. It's never enough.

I have a lot of faults and many weaknesses. But I know what I can and can't do. I know that just because someone says something to me, it doesn't make it true. I'm neither as good, nor as bad, as bosses have told me over the years.

If I could give my friend anything, it would be a little more self confidence, a little less self doubt, and a bit more self knowledge.

But I can't, can I? All I can do is support him as best I can.

I enjoyed it. Is that a good thing?

Made an effort to finally see The Brave One. This film has been out for more than a month and received uniformly good reviews, so I wanted to catch it at the theater, before it goes to DVD.

It's a vigilante drama with a highly relateable heroine. Jodie Foster's Erica is smart, a serious broadcaster who loves New York and discusses it weekdays on NPR. She's healthy and happy, with a loving doctor fiance, a wedding to plan, and a beautiful dog named Curtis. And she's little. This last one struck a particular chord with me because I'm 5'2 -- and that's if I'm on my toes.

She becomes the victim of a horrible, violent crime. It destroys her life and devastates her soul. She tries to get past it, but how exactly does anyone do that? Can anyone do it? Or does unimaginable tragedy leave us forever changed … and changed into what?

As you can tell by the trailers, Erica becomes something of a vigilante. But, unlike Travis Bickle or Charles Bronson, she doesn't enjoy it. She's compelled to avenge the violent crime she encounters, even seeks out, but she's surprised and appalled by what she's done. At one point she asks, "Why doesn't someone stop me?"

Similarly, I was disgusted by the cathartic thrill I got when she took out those who "deserve" to go. Intellectually, I understand how wrong her actions are. We are a nation of laws. The criminal justice system works more often than it doesn't -- and it can't work at all without the support of our citizens. No one has the right to play judge, jury and God. I know all that. I believe all that.

But I am also a short, pudgy, middle-aged woman who works in a major city … a wonderful city that I love. I get frightened and intimidated, especially if find myself on the el after rush hour. (Something I work hard to avoid.) I keep hearing how Chicago is safer and that violent crime as down, just as Erica often reminds us about her beloved New York. So why do I still feel vulnerable? Is it smart self-preservation that fuels the fear? Or is it paranoia? And what to make of the thrill I got watching Erica switch into vigilante mode?

This movie is serious, not exploitive. The issues it raises are real. But, like Erica after that horrible night in the park, I don't know what to do with the feelings it inspired.

Unconscious Mutterings #12

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Cluster :: headache
   
2. Announcement :: morning announcements over the old PA system at my high school
   
3. Respect :: Aretha
   
4. Incident :: "There were incidents and accidents, there were hints and allegations." (Paul Simon)
   
5. Accordion :: "Lady of Spain"
   
6. Drunk :: Ow! Hangover!
   
7. If :: " If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true?" (Beatles)
   
8. Dexter :: Showtime series (I keep meaning to rent the DVD)
   
9. Wedding :: singer
   
10. Gambling :: boat
    

For more information, or to play along yourself, visit Unconscious Musings.

I'm tired and disappointed … but ultimately grateful

It was a bright afternoon and a clear, lovely night. Ernie Banks threw out the ceremonial first pitch, and Ron Santo sang during the 7th Inning Stretch, so I relived the glory days of my Cub fan girlhood. I ate Cracker Jack and a hot dog and drank two beers. I saw Kerry Wood pitch in the post season. We waited around for Lou Pinella doff his cap at the fans in the stands. I was there.

No, it didn't end the way I wanted it to. I resent the Diamondbacks and the Rockies both for being so nouveau and yet still doing so well. (It would be easier to take if was the Phillies who prevailed, it simply would.) From this moment on, I'm pulling for the Red Sox.

I wanted this badly and the roller coaster of emotions has left me exhausted. I'm one of the 41,000+ who entered the park with high hopes and left broken hearted (and that doesn't count the countless millions throughout Chicagoland who feel the same way). But this season has been a party. I'm not prepared to say "Wait till next year" yet because I'm still looking back at all the entertainment and happiness this team gave me this year.

Update on Nailah Franklin

This post is about the local woman who disappeared on September 19. Her legion of friends and family searched for her and kept her story front and center until, unfortunately, her dead body was found 9 days later.

Ms. Franklin's funeral was held last Wednesday. Hundreds were in attendance. A pharmaceutical sales rep for Eli Lily, she was remembered fondly as "not a star, but a superstar."

A week before her disappearance, Ms. Franklin contacted police about threatening phone calls from an ex-boyfriend. A man who once dated her was arrested Friday for "misdemeanor battery" (he allegedly threatened a gas station attendant). I'm not including his name or photo here because the authorities have not officially tied him to Ms. Franklin's death. Let's just say that I hope that talking to him brings police closer to solving the mystery of Nailah's murder.

The bunting is going up … AND I'LL BE THERE

Saturday's game, the Cubs first Wrigley Field play-off appearance in years, has long been sold out and scalpers are getting $2000/seat. But this is of no concern to me.

I'll be there. FOR FREE.

A friend of mine works for the Tribune, the company that owns the team. The Tribune had an employee lottery and she won 2 seats for Saturday and 2 seats for Sunday. She and I are going Saturday, her son and his best friend go on Sunday.

I'm excited, naturally. In my whole life I've never been to a play-off game. I believe the team will stay alive to play on Sunday, but even if they don't, I'll consider it an honor to be there. There were weeks this past summer when I wrestled with the blues, and this team was one of the few reliable bright spots, one of the only things I could depend on to distract and cheer me. I'm tickled to be one of the 40,000 fans who will be there to welcome this team home and thank them for the wild ride.

I'm also honored that my friend chose to share her prize with me. After all, I'm bumping her husband and her parents! I don't know what I've done to deserve this, but I'm grateful all the same.

Heartbreak!

I admit that when I went to bed last night, I was desperately disappointed with Cubs ace Ted Lilly. He simply wasn't very good, and in the play-offs, no one can afford to have an off night. In a single inning, he gave up 4 runs and that's just not acceptable.

But then, this morning, I saw this photo. Look at the pain etched in his face. I no longer have the heart to be upset with him. Not when fate has sentenced him to reliving that inning for the next 50 years or so.

Friday's Feast #18

Appetizer. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you look forward to your birthday? Ten. I love my birthday.

Soup. What is one word you don’t like the sound, spelling, or meaning of? "Occasion." It always looks like it's spelled incorrectly.

Salad. Do you wear sunglasses when you’re outside? If so, what does your current pair look like? This is a little embarrassing to admit, but I'm a sunglass-a-holic. This week I've been alternating between three pair of blue glasses. I also have quite a few black pairs, a green pair and a purple pair. I know, it's silly. But it's fun, too!

Main Course. If you were to write a book, to whom would you dedicate it? Wow! What a great question! I think it would depend who was most supportive and/or inspirational as I worked on this book.

Dessert. Name a beverage that you enjoy. I have a tasty can of Classic Coke right here.

For more information, or to serve up your own feast, visit fridaysfeast.com.

Me, Me, Me, MEME

I've been tagged by Kwizgiver for this and I couldn't be more glad! The Cubs didn't exactly win last night, and the big meeting planned for today was canceled, and I could really use a memey diversion to occupy me.

THE "5 ME" MEME

List 5 things about yourself that you have never shared before.

1) I think I've been in love -- really in love -- twice. Three times if Paul McCartney counts.

2) I am afraid of squirrels. I know this is a silly fear and I bear squirrels no ill will. It's just that when I was a little girl, my father told me about a kid who was bit by a rabid squirrel, and that has really stayed with me.

3) I'm also afraid that Peter, who lives on the second floor of my apartment building, is going to ask me out.

4) I bite my nails not when I'm nervous, but when I'm bored.

5) My favorite evenings are the ones where I get home early, know I'm in for the night, and can change into my jammies right away.

No meme is complete without tags. Hmm … who will I choose? Here are three ladies I don't think we know enough about:

No Nonsense Girl
Lori
Harlekwin

Thursday Thirteen #36 -- Celebrity Cub Fans

THIRTEEN FAMOUS FOLKS

who Frequent

the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field

As we enter the playoff chapter of this storybook Cub season, there's something that needs to be said: I’m pissed at former First Fan Hillary Clinton. In her autobiography and through her years in the White House, she maintained her Cub fandom. But during the recent debate in New Hampshire, she spewed something so entirely unacceptable that I don’t believe she can be regarded as a fan ever again. When asked by Tim Russert which team she’d root for in a Cubs-Yankees World Series, she replied, “I guess I would have to alternate.” Huh? What?

So poof! She’s gone from the list. Here are 13 perhaps lesser known celebs who also root, root, root for the Cubbies … but unlike Hillary, they don’t “alternate.”

1. Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins fame has thrown out the first pitch at several Cub games and has sung “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the 7th Inning Stretch. A real Chicago sports fan, he also attends Bulls and Black Hawk games.

2. John Cusack, famous for holding that boombox over his head in the rain in Say Anything, is a Wrigley Field mainstay who has sung “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” and hangs out in the WGN broadcast booth. There are ugly rumors that two years ago he “groveled” for Sox Series tickets and even denounced the Cubs to get them, but I choose to believe that story has been exaggerated.

3. John Dillinger. One of the Depression’s superstar bank robbers, Dillinger was a loyal Cub fan who risked arrest by openly attending a game at Wrigley Field less than a month before his demise at Chicago’s Biograph Theater.

4. Dennis Franz is best known as Detective Andy Sipowicz on NYPD Blue. Franz was a creative force behind the wise and witty Bleacher Bums play about Cub fans, and appeared in the documentary about the Cubs All-Star third baseman Ron Santo, This Old Cub.

5. Steve Goodman. Famous for writing “The City of New Orleans” (Good night, America, how are you? Don’t you know me? I’m your native son), Steve was an uber fan. His cheerful “Go, Cubs, Go” is sung by fans as they file out of Wrigley Field after a victory (Lou Pinella says this makes him cry). Steve lost his battle with leukemia just days before he was scheduled to sing The National Anthem at the Cubs post-season home game in 1984. Jimmy Buffet took his place and, rumor has it, spread some of Steve’s ashes around home plate.

6. Bernie Mac. He is so a fan! I know there are those out there who blame him for what happened in 2003 because he referred to the team as the “NL champs” on TV long before it was a done deal. But that’s just silly. We all know 2003 was Bartman’s fault. Plus, Bernie is much funnier than Jim Belushi, who I’m not including on this list because he annoys me.

7. Joe Mantegna. Born in Chicago, he’s been nominated for three Emmys and a Golden Globe award. He’s appeared in at least two different productions of The Bleacher Bums (and, like Franz, has received a writing credit) and shows up in the bio of Cub legend Ron Santo, This Old Cub.

8. Bugs Moran. It was Bugs’ gang that suffered famously in that unfortunate little incident in February, 1929. But Bugs never entered the garage that fateful Valentine’s Day. At the last moment, he saw what he thought was a police car (it was really Capone’s men) and kept going. Such luck is unusual for Cub fans. It was no different in the 1920s than it is today – while Moran was a Cub fan, Capone was a White Sox fan. Never the twain shall meet.

9. Bill Murray. Oscar-nominated and a veteran of Saturday Night Live, Murray recently lent the Cubs moral support by visiting the dugout during their final series with the Marlins. Fond of Cub announcer Harry Caray, he spent quite a lot of time in the booth … and once rather famously left Harry speechless on air. When Harry asked Bill about his mother (also a great Cub fan), Bill replied, “She’s dead. And don’t ask about my dad, because he’s dead, too.”

10. Bob Newhart. Born in my hometown of Oak Park, he’s best known for his self-titled sitcoms. When it comes to baseball, he wisely stated that “being a Cub fan prepares you for life.” Truer words were never spoken.

11. William Peterson of CSI. Well-known on the Chicago theater scene before going on to TV and movies, Petersen is a life-long Cub fan who has both sung during the 7th Inning Stretch and thrown out the first pitch.

12. Gary Sinise. Oscar-nominated as Lt. Dan in Forrest Gump, the star of CSI:NY grew up in the Chicagoland area and is no stranger to Wrigley Field. He’s tossed out the first pitch and also appears in This Old Cub.

13. Vince Vaughn grew up on the Cubs, shot scenes of The Break-Up at Wrigley Field and then brought co-star/girlfriend Jennifer Aniston to the ballpark. Having the year’s hot couple within The Friendly Confines was one of the highlights of the dismal 2006 season. What a difference a year makes!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. AF Wife has a very important TT about domestic violence

2. Ellen shares 13 facts about California

3. Impworks explains his Wordless Wednesday photo, and it's a great story.

4. Malcolm tells us which 13 shows he has on DVD

5. Secret Agent Mama has a very large TT

6. Janet's TT is both musical and scary

7. Follow Yen to 13 of her favorite sites


8. Jenny muses, and her musings are always interesting

9. Works for Mom shares 13 important facts about breast cancer

10. Susan Helene profiles Daniel the Drummer

11. No Nonsense Girl has a thankful TT

12. Lori has a sexy and romantic TT


13. Check out Harlekwin's gorgeous TT banners!

14. Ann has a wonderful, supportive TT all about her author-friend Carrie

15. Thomma Lyn offers up a very worthy reading list

16. Xakara indulges her love for Halloween and the supernatural

17. Bloggers has an exhaustive list of pay-per-post blogs

18. Mom not Mum shares 13 of her kids' cutest quotes

19. Joy shows us whimsical objets d'art

20. Sparky Duck sets the wayback machine for 1972

21. Carrie Lofty celebrates the exciting news about her book deal with anagrams

22. Even though she's a (GASP!) Cardinals fan, visit Erin's TT

23. Denise's TT is devoted to Pearl herself, Janis Joplin

24. Vixen has a very moving TT about Ladybug

25. Journeywoman offers up 13 ways to fix what ails US



Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Nobody, no nobody is gonna rain on my parade!

I mean it, people! Like my idol Babs, I insist that life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter! The Cubs enter the post-season fray tonight and I am going to enjoy it, no matter how many Dark Forces conspire to ruin it for me.

Before the game begins (9:00 CST), I must attend a condo association meeting. I know what this means -- a special assessment which will separate me from my money. Fine. Whatever. I will not allow the association board to bring around a cloud to rain on my parade.

I'm growing my hair out and it's a mess. I went to the health club for the first time since introducing this new style, and the humidity in the shower area has caused Dennis the Menace cowlicks to spring up anywhere they damn well please. Fine. Whatever. I will not let these stubborn locks bring around a cloud to rain on my parade.

My best friend has been decidedly pissy about this round. He just moved to Boulder last year and has never been much of an MLB fan. Yet when the Rockies bandwagon slowed down, he climbed aboard. He seems to feel this makes us equals when it comes to the personal investment we have in these playoffs. Never mind that I think I've watched more Rockies games this year than he has. Never mind that I'm a third generation Cub fan. Never mind that I want this more than I want my next breath. Fine. Whatever. I am not getting drawn into stupid conversations about this. I will not let Eeyore bring around a cloud to rain on my parade.

Go, Cubs, Go.

Just like me, they long to be Close to Lou

The Chicago press loves Lou Pinella. He answers even awkward questions with amusingly mangled English (a sport mastered by Mayor Daley) and without picking fights with reporters or tossing homophobic slurs (a far uglier sport mastered by his South Side opposite number).

I love Lou Pinella because the Cubs are there, boys and girls! Tonight -- a night in OCTOBER! -- the playoffs begin and we're in it.

So here, with help from the Tribune, is my humble tribute to our manager, our hero, our court jester and fearless leader, Lou Pinella:

What Lou said vs What Lou meant

Ivory: Ivy

Michigan Mile Magnificent Mile

Karmac the Magician: Carnac the Magnificent

Stevie Eyre: Scott Eyre

Scott Ire: Scott Eyre

Stevie Ire: Scott Eyre

Vim and vinegar: Vim and vigor

"Go, Cubs, Win": "Go, Cubs, Go"

The Lou/Star Trek Connection

Dr. Bones shouted, "Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a mechanic!" This season an exasperated Lou has announced, "I'm a manager, not …

• "… a hygienist."
• "… the air conditioning man."
• "… a meteorologist."

My 2¢ worth re: Britney

I'm not a mother. I've never been a mother. So I can't say with complete conviction that losing physical custody of her two kids is the most wrenching thing that could possibly happen to Britney Spears.

In fact, I believe it's possible that she's relieved that she no longer has physical custody of those boys. After all, she wasn't legally required to give them up until tomorrow, and since I've seen photos of them near K-Fed's house already, I guess she handed them over yesterday. That doesn't sound like a woman who is agonizing about missing quality time with her boys.

Maybe Britney Spears realizes that she's a mess … knows that she is overwhelmed by demons … senses that her sons would do better with their less famous, less scrutinized, less complicated dad. It could be that handing them over to their father (that's their father, not some bureaucratic foster care system!) is the most loving thing she could do for those kids right now.

Heads & Tails #6

The theme for this week's Heads and Tails is "stacks." The primary stacks around my home are magazines and books and paper. I am forever heading downstairs to the "Paper Only" recycle bin with back issues of Time, Newsweek and Entertainment Weekly, as well as shredded credit card statements and empty envelopes. I try to be neat, but I have come to believe that this condo is paper self-generating.

For more information, or to play along yourself, visit the Heads and Tails meme-mistress at Skittles' Place.

Happy as a hog in slop

It's embarrassing. How much I enjoy this stupid show, I mean. But I love it. There's crusty old Len and insanely hyperbolic Bruno. Tom Bergeron is so slick he could swim without getting wet. This show always has the trippiest collection of celebrities. (Mark Cuban, Marie Osmond and Wayne Newton!) It's a pleasant diversion until the playoffs start on Wednesday.

"Attention must be paid"

As the city rejoices in the Cubs, there's also a very different story soaking up a lot of airtime and ink -- the disappearance and death of Nailah Franklin. This beautiful young pharmaceutical company exec was deeply loved, and her family and friends demanded that she not just become another "missing black woman" statistic. On both a large societal level, and an intimate and deeply personal level, Nailah Franklin's story struck a nerve and that line from Death of a Salesman keeps running through my head. For the full nine days that she was missing, the people who loved Ms. Franklin made sure attention was paid to her case.

Her family appeared in front of every newscamera they could, reminding us of what Nailah looked like and what model car she'd been driving. Friday evening, as I boarded the el, I was one of many commuters stopped by meticulously groomed young women who rather forcefully pressed flyers about Nailah into our hands, begging us to be on the lookout for their friend. (I wasn't surprised to learn that Nailah had once worked at nearby Leo Burnett; these gals had that enthusiastic, not-yet-burnt-out ad agency account exec air to them.) I got home to learn from a local newscast that Nailah's body had been identified. Even as her friends were recruiting volunteers to search for her, she was dead.

It's so sad, yet there's something positive and life-affirming about how people of different ages and races came together to search for and pray for Nailah Franklin.

This woman must have been very special. And, since attention must be paid, here are details about her life that go beyond the tragic circumstances of her death:

Nailah Franklin was one of 5 daughters. She graduated from Homewood Flossmoor High School and went on to the University of Illinois.
Her sisters, with whom she was very close,
held out hope until the very end
that their sister was alive, saying,
"her spirited and strong personality would help her endure."

She was just 28.

Unconscious Mutterings #12

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Crook :: Cop
2. Career :: Going OK, I guess
3. Freckles :: Nose
4. Scramble :: Carnival ride
5. Mistake :: Error
6. Telephone :: "Oh, telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight"
(ELO song)
7. Thank you :: "You're welcome"
8. Obstruction :: Construction (as in Chicago's torn-up highways)
9. 24/7 :: Around the clock
10. SciFi :: Star Trek

For more information, or to play along yourself, visit Unconscious Mutterings

Not as exciting as the Cubs, but exciting all the same

Meet my new sofa. I ordered it from Crate and Barrel. Alas, it won't be here for about 8 or 9 weeks.

The style is Troy, and the color is "seafoam." It's an apartment sized sofa, but it still feels sturdy and substantial, like a real piece of furniture. I went to Wickes, Room and Board, Bloomingdale's and even Macy's, but ended up back at Crate and Barrel. Everything else I saw cost too much or just wasn't quite right. Still, I'm glad I comparison shopped. Reinforces that I made the right decision.

Savoring it

What more needs to be said?

The late Steve Goodman ("The City of New Orleans") is the emblematic Cubs fan. So tonight, when my head hits the pillow with the Cubs as the NATIONAL LEAGUE CENTRAL CHAMPIONS, I leave you with the words of anthem he wrote …

Baseball season's underway

Well you better get ready for a brand new day

Hey, Chicago, what do you say

The Cubs are gonna win today.

They're singing ...

Go, Cubs, go

Go, Cubs, go

Hey, Chicago, what do you say

The Cubs are gonna win today

Go, Cubs, go

Go, Cubs, go

Hey, Chicago, what do you say

The Cubs are gonna win today.

They got the power, they got the speed

To be the best in the National League

Well this is the year and the Cubs are real

So come on down to Wrigley Field.

We're singing now ...

Go, Cubs, go

Go, Cubs, go

Hey, Chicago, what do you say

The Cubs are gonna win today

Go, Cubs, go

Go, Cubs, go

Hey, Chicago, what do you say

The Cubs are gonna win today.

Baseball time is here again

You can catch it all on WGN

So stamp your feet and clap your hands

Chicago Cubs got the greatest fans.

You're singing now ...

Go, Cubs, go

Go, Cubs, go

Hey, Chicago, what do you say

The Cubs are gonna win today

Go, Cubs, go

Go, Cubs, go

Hey, Chicago, what do you say

The Cubs are gonna win today.

The Magic Number Is 2

Which means any combination of Cubs wins/Brewers losses that equals 2 gives us the Division Championship.

Just to make this the most fantastically dramatic season end ever, guess who is pitching against the Brewers tonight. Go ahead. Guess.

Yes, my beloved future Hall of Famer, the ninth winningest pitcher in the history of the game, Greg Maddux. C'mon, Professor! Repay my long-term, unconditional love for you by kicking a little Brewer butt tonight and bringing your former team one game closer to The Promised Land.

The Gal Herself does the Middle Name Meme

I've done the Middle Name Meme with my real name. But Nancy tagged me so I'll do it again, this time with my nom de blog. Which would make my middle name "Gal."

First, the rules:

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players - You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don't have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. At the end of your post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.

G = Garrulous. Isn't that a much nicer word than "blabby?"

A = Allergies. I have a couple: certain chemicals (like those used in paint thinner and to treat carpets) and bee stings.

L = Last Chance Saloon. A novel by Marion Keyes, I just finished it today.

Because I've played before, I'm not tagging anyone this time. But if you choose to play, let me know so I can check out your response.

Friday's Feast #17

Appetizer
How are you today? OK. If this slight headache would go away, I'd be fine.

Soup
Name 3 television shows you watch on a regular basis. Grey's Anatomy, L&O: SVU, and Today

Salad
What’s the scariest weather situation you’ve experienced? About a month ago we had a tornado warning in The Loop. Between the skyscrapers and the proximity to Lake Michigan, that rarely happens. I work in one of the city's tallest buildings and we were all herded into the hallway and stairwells, away from windows. It was scary because it happens so seldom.

Main Course
If you could wake up tomorrow morning in another country, where would you want to be? England.

Dessert
What do you usually wear to sleep? A long nightshirt.

For more information, or to serve up your own feast, visit fridaysfeast.com.

Thursday Thirteen #35 -- Mommy & Me

THIRTEEN WAYS
The Gal Herself
& Her Mom
Are Alike

My mother never worked after marrying her first serious boyfriend, my dad. She was very content as a homemaker and a mother. She loves gardening, drinks coffee by the gallon, doesn’t travel, hates going to the movies, and reads perhaps one book a year. So on the face of it, we have very little in common.

Yet as I grow older, I find more and more similarities between us. Nature? Nurture? Genetics? Who knows? But every time I find another commonality, it surprises me. And, since in addition to loving my mom I also like her, being alike doesn’t make me unhappy.

1. Talking on the phone. We’re both natural-born blabbers. Fortunately we have each other to blab to.

2. Blurting. We’re both very blunt. There’s no malice. We just think we’re stating the obvious, and we’re both surprised when we find this isn’t the case.

3. Cats. We’re both feline aficionados, and every detail of their furry lives fascinates us. We have been known to discuss hairballs and litter preferences ad nauseum.

4. Gift shopping all year around. If I see something in December that would be perfect for a friend’s June birthday, I pick it up in December. I might not think of it again, or it might not be available, come June. She’s the same way. In mid-July, one of our marathon phone calls was interrupted because she had to sign for my birthday gift, which had just arrived via UPS. My birthday is in November.

5. Willfulness. Our styles are very different. She’s more gracious and stealth (OK, manipulative), while instead of being passive-aggressive, I'm just aggressive-aggressive. But no matter how you slice it, generally we get our own way. We recognize this about one another, which is why we seldom clash. (As in, "She's just gonna do what she wants anyway, so what's the point?")

6. Bargain hunting. I learned my coupon clipping/comparison shopping skills from her. Whenever I give her a gift, she’s pleased and proud if I can tell her I got it on sale. I have taken to telling her, “They practically paid me to take it out of the store!”

7. Photo-album phobia. We both have stacks of pix tucked away here and there, not organized in any way. This one is weird, because both of my sisters are very into scrap booking. Somehow that talent escaped Mom and me.

8. We both order our eggs over easy. Note I said “order” because …

9. Neither of us cooks unless absolutely forced to.

10. We both prefer Thousand Island dressing.

11. JBKO. We both revere Jackie Kennedy. When the exhibit of her clothes arrived at The Field Museum in Chicago, I was thrilled to go with my mom on the opening day. It was her Mother’s Day present.

12. Neither of us wears hats. In any weather.

13. Our handwriting has become almost identical.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1.Special K-Toni catalogs her impressive life skills


2. Nicole Austin is packing up and heading to San Fran

3. Malcolm has an exceptionally cool TT about an exceptionally cool (and timeless) movie star

4. yh tells us which movies she could watch and rewatch again and again

5. Nicholas offers an unconventional reading list, where all the books have numerals in their titles

6. impworks vents about cold calls (and who can blame him)

7. Chelle tells us all about a very important young man: her nephew, Jared

8. Behold the Tinkerbell Collection!

9. Thomma Lyn does a little self exploration

10. Jenny McB displays her brand loyalty

11. Lori answers the question: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

12. Buck Naked Politics takes us back to the bad old days of Iran-Contra

13. Works for Mom lets us know what her other half is doing while she's blogging

14. Susan gives us 13 reasons to stop by her blog, even on days that aren't Thursday!

15. No Nonsense Girl shares 13 reasons why she's nervous about her job interview -- stop by and voice your support!

16. Gattina shares her wisdom about men

17. Grace muses on life in 2007

18. Bermudabluez brightens our days with colorful Halloween crafts

19. Xakara is in love with 13 other wordly literary heroes

20. Mom not Mum has a musical TT from 1973

21. Harlekwin takes us on a tour of Crater Lake (and she even has a Crater Lake-appropriate banner)

22. Vixen gives us 13 very persuasive reasons why we must visit her 365 day project

23. Nancy researched and found 13 rather unfortunate, but real, names

24. Joy Is My Goal has a highly visual TT about hands

25. DoubleDeckerBusGuy has a year's worth of TT



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Heads & Tails #5

Today's theme is PETS

I have been blessed by the company of some really phenomenal, loving cats. A turtle named Bobby Jo, too, but the cats have really been the stars. Rather than just toss a spotlight on one, I'm going to walk down memory lane and list them all. Except for the last three, they are all waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge, and I look forward to seeing them happy, healthy and whole again.

BIG TOM -- a pure white tomcat who, after his untimely death at age 4, became known as "Big Tom" because of the arrival of …

TOMMY -- a smaller white tomcat with a black ear and black tail and my best friend when I lived at home

SNOOZER -- a calico who was one of the most curious, chattiest cats ever

TROUBLE -- an all-black cat, kinda dumb, but very even tempered

ANNIE -- an enormous gray and white long-hair who held everyone but me in disdain

WILMA -- a skinny calico, completely crazy, completely friendly and terrifically patient with me as I gave her a thyroid pill each morning

ALLISON -- The most affectionate cat I've ever had. You could wake Allie out of a sound sleep by scooping her into your arms and she'd still purr, even as she checked who was holding her through half-closed eyes

TARA -- a valiant soul. Tara bore the scars, both physical and emotional, of abuse when I got her. Considering how she'd been treated, the dignity with which she carried herself was enormously touching. Helping her learn to trust humans again, and giving her a peaceful life through the end of her days, is one of my proudest achievements.

BILLY -- Big, big hearted, melancholy and quite beautiful. Along with Tommy and Wilma, he was an all-time favorite and still a little hard to talk about.

JOEY -- As gentle as he is enormous

CHARLOTTE -- My girly-girl, she not only is always grooming, she loves to sit on the toilet seat and chat while I'm putting on my make up each morning

REYNALDO -- A whirling dervish with a huge appetite for life

For more information, or to play Heads and Tails yourself, go to Skittles Place.

One of those little things that mean a lot

I've been trying to remain cheerful. I have much to be thankful for: THE CUBS (!), my niece and nephew, my job, my friends … However I am confronted by a health problem and it's true -- that does cast a shadow over everything else.

I am fat. I am getting fatter by the minute. I may be fatter now than I was when I began this post. And it's not fair. While I've been eating better and working out more vigorously, I'm also taking an anti-depressant. Until my results of my bloodwork come back we can't be sure, but my doctor is reasonably sure that's what's causing the problem.

So at first glance, I have my choice of being miserable or being as a big as a house. I know it's really more complicated than that, but until we get the bloodwork back, that's the information I have.

Yesterday I took a vacation day and I kind of unraveled. No Cubs baseball to bolster my spirits, I went in search of new bath towels. It was really hot yesterday and I hate hot weather. It's SEPTEMBER, for pity's sake! Why is it still so hot? I went to two stores and could not find what I wanted (pink towels with a darker accent color). I'm fat. I have a mosquito bite that is driving me crazy. My body hates me. The Brewers won. And I can't even find towels. All the stores had were solids. Pale pink. Deep pink. Bright pink. But all solids!

My best friend made the mistake of asking, "how are you?" I told him.

He started to piss me off with achingly reasonable talk of other medications and other options. BFD. The bloodwork won't be back for a week, and in the meantime there's still no baseball, it's still too hot, my arm still itches so bad I want to chew it off, I'm still fat, and I STILL CAN'T FIND NEW BATH TOWELS. (I admit this willful, encompassing anger over things I can't change just may be one of the less attractive aspects of my personality.) He wisely abandoned this topic.

Within the half hour I got an email with 11 attachments. He sent me photos from Dillard's, Pottery Barn and Bed Bath & Beyond's websites, pictures of towels that fit my description. The Dillard's towels by Tommy Hilfiger were even on sale!

Then I was happy. He knew that at that moment all I needed was to be left alone to recharge and to do something nice for myself. I may still have been fat and itchy and hot, but I was also understood. There's tremendous comfort in that.

Isn't this fabulous?

My first Manic Monday

Mo and Kwizgiver do this meme, so I decided to dive in and give it a go:

Manic Monday for September 24, 2007

You’ve won $100,000 – but have to give it all away. To which charity or institution would you donate it? Just one? There are so many important groups that need help! If I can only choose one, I'd send it to American Humane, dedicated to protecting children and animals.

What do you think is the most soothing sound? A cat's purr.

Does time heal all wounds? Yes, eventually it does. But that doesn't mean the wound won't leave a bitchin' scab and then an ugly scar.

Middle Name Meme

I was tagged for this meme by Mo, whose answers were very thoughtful. I did this before, but I was pretty flip. So I'm going to try again, with a little more effort behind my responses.

THE RULES
1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
5. Don’t forget to link back to the person that tagged you in the beginning


A = Audio. Since the 1980s, I have seldom left home without my headphones. It started with the Walkman but now I'm on my second iPod. Music, baseball games, audiobooks … I've taken them all in via portable stereo. I dated a guy once who assailed my audio addiction, saying that it was inherently anti-social of me to reject to the sounds and stimuli of the world around me. Perhaps. But I like to think of it as multi-tasking.

N=Novels. These two are currently atop my TBR pile: Lovely Bones (Sebold) and Crimson Joy (a Spenser mystery). As with most of my life, my reading veers back and forth between serious and fun.

N=News. I'm a news junkie. MSNBC, CNN, PBS, the Chicago Tribune … they all get my attention every day. I look at Time and Newsweek each week. I used to get US News & World Report, too, but I found it hard to get to it. After all, I've got US and People, too. I just hate the idea that anything at all of interest might go on without my knowledge. I think I enjoy reading about Paris Hilton and Anna Nicole's tawdry life/death because it gives me some relief from the war and the healthcare crisis and the Jena 6 and …

If you wish to share a little of yourself based on your middle name, let me know so I can come by and check your answers.

Unconscious Mutterings #11

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Singles :: Bar
   
2. Blaze :: Wildfire
   
3. Sandwich :: Mayo
   
4. Outside :: Sunny
   
5. Gooey :: Cheese (pizza topping)
   
6. Industry :: Marketing
   
7. Exclusive :: TMZ.com
   
8. Warranty :: Dumped in my top drawer
   
9. Magical :: Mystery Tour
   
10. Heels :: Flats

For more information, or to play along yourself, visit Unconscious Mutterings.

I can't wait to give it to him

My nephew, a second grader, enjoys watching the Cubs with me. This gives me a thrill beyond all because I remember watching the Cubs with my dad and grandparents, all of whom were gone before my nephew was born. I love that I'm keeping them alive by passing the Cubs torch to a new generation.

For luck I have been wearing my official 2003 NL Central Champs shirt a lot lately. My nephew clearly covets the shirt. So today I bought him an official MLB Cubs shirt all his own. Now that the season is coming to a close and another division championship is once again within our grasp, I want him to have his own lucky shirt.

He is soooo gonna love it!

It was a wild one!

When I left the room to change my bed linens, the Cubs were up 4-1. By the time I smoothed out my top sheet, the score was tied! The final score was 13 to 8. It was a slugfest, with Ramirez getting 6 RBIs all by himself. I was happy to see Kerry Wood strike out two. It would be great to have him contribute in the post-season. Yes, I'm daring to dream.

I had kind of a a rough day off today. It's never fun to go to the doctor and while nothing out of the ordinary is wrong, I'm reminded of something JFK was fond of saying in private, "Old age is a shipwreck." Since I've outlived him, I shouldn't be surprised that I'm wrestling with age-related maladies like weight gain and high cholesterol.

But nothing makes me feel young again like a good Cub game. Hey, hey, holy mackerel, no doubt about it -- The Cubs are on their way. Thanks, guys!

Friday's Feast #16

Appetizer
What is your favorite type of art?
I love colorful, representational pieces. Thomas McKnight is my favorite artist.

Soup
When was the last time you got a free lunch (or breakfast or dinner)? Who paid for it? Last month, at work we got free burgers in celebration of the anniversary of the Big Mac. (Our client, McDonald's, paid for it.)

Salad
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how emotional are you? 17

Main Course
Approximately how long do you spend each day responding to emails? Wow! I've never thought about this! Probably an hour.

Dessert
To what temperature do you usually set your home’s thermostat? My thermostat is purely decorative, but I've got the AC set at 75º.

For more information, or to serve up your own feast, visit Friday's Feast.

He never fails to disappoint, does he?

"He" would be my President, George W. Bush. I am a patriotic American. I believe in our Constitution and am continuously amazed by the document's flexibility and wisdom. I want George W. Bush to do well because if he succeeds, my country benefits.

Yesterday, he sunk to a new low and I'm so angry and upset and disillusioned I could puke.

I'm talking about his press conference yesterday, when he took off on the Move-On ad slamming General Petraeus. Now please know that I do not support Move-On nor that ad. No soldier deserves that treatment.

That ad was as dirty a trick as what the Bush Campaign did to war hero John Kerry with those hideous Swiftboat ads. Or what the Bushies did when they likened Max Cleland (who lost both legs and an arm in VietNam) to Bin Laden. Or when they smeared John McCain by implying that his time in VietNam had left him mentally unstable. No soldier deserves that treatment.

It's measurably worse, though, when that treatment comes at the hands of a man elected by his party and his nation than it does when it comes from Move-On.org. Yesterday's hypocrisy was so thick that it's painful and infuriating.

My President lied to us about why we're at war in Iraq. Never mind that if we had waited to go in until after our efforts in Afghanistan were a success, and if he had said that Iraq (like Darfur) was the victim of a cruel, genocidal regime, I would have supported our effort wholeheartedly. Instead he had to exploit our fears after 9/11 by tying Saddam to Bin Laden. Cynical and dishonest.

Abu Gharib. Pat Tillman. Katrina. Mocking Karla Tucker. This man is MY President. It hurts when his Administration behaves this way.

It shouldn't continue to hurt me. It should just be what I expect from this man.

But if he is incapable of being heroic, couldn't he at least be decent?

The Big 4-0

I was over at Kwizgiver's, and this meme followed me home. I decided to keep it as my own.

1. You're in the hospital, who comes to visit you? My oldest friend. She was there last time (the only time) I was in the hospital. She brought my mom then, and probably would again this time.

2. If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be? I'd mourn my cosmos and my -ini's.

3. Your CD collection is repossessed. What's your reaction? Embarrassed that the repo company knows I actually bought Bobby Sherman's Greatest Hits.

4. Do you believe world peace is possible? No. But that's no reason not to work toward the goal

5. I'm a genie. Name your wish. Enough $$ to not have to worry about money for the rest of my life (exactly the same as Kwizgiver's)

6. Name one thing about the opposite sex that automatically turns you off? Hate language (racial, homophobic, sexist slurs are all included)

7. Name one thing about the opposite sex that automatically turns you on? Really good hair

8. What are you obsessive about? The first-place Chicago Cubs

9. Leather Face is in the kitchen … Resulting in the end of the Texas Chainsaw saga and the demise of Leather Face! I go into the kitchen so seldom that he dies of boredom.

10. Do people underestimate you? I don't think so.

11. When you're in a bad mood, what will always put you in a better mood? Listening to Paul McCartney

12. What do you hope to have accomplished by the end of the year? Organize my den

13. Do you believe minimum wage should be raised? Yes

14. Do you have any really crazy relatives? Oh, goodness, yes

15. Pretend you're 15 deep in beers. Describe what you would be doing? Hunched over the sink

16. Does everyone in your life know the real you? My best friend

17. Last thing you said about a guy/girl? I told a coworker I thought that since her ex-husband was sexually inadequate, she's probably better off without him. (I didn't know what else to say.)

18. What is the most ridiculous fear you have? Squirrels or clowns. They're both pretty ridiculous

19. Do you know anyone in prison? No

20. When is the last time you ate Peanut butter and jelly? Don't remember

21. When did you last have a home cooked meal? See above

22. Have you ever gotten naked at a party? No

23. Name who you miss. My best friend

24. Are you named after a grandparent? No

25. Who loves you? I'm lucky. I have a loving network of friends. And I still have my mom. She loves me.

26. Do you throw up gang signs? I do not like to throw up anything (Kwizgiver's original answer, but I love it)

27. Have you ever broken a rib? No

28. Last song you heard? "Badlands" by Bruce Springsteen

29. What was the last thing you ate? Pot pie

30. How do you feel RIGHT now? Drowsy

31. Have you driven anywhere today? No. I don't have a car

32. What's your hair like? Think Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music

33.Would you ever work for the border patrol? If it was the only job I could get. But I must admit, it's not a big dream of mine.

34. Who's car were you in last? Kathleen's

35. Where did u go? A meeting of her church youth group. I'm considering joining them this coming summer when they travel to Appalachia to repair/rebuild houses in depressed areas

36. Have you ever been in an interracial relationship? No

37. Is your birthday on a holiday? This year my birthday happens to land square on Thanksgiving

38. Do you have any friends or family in the war right now? No

39. Are you a vegetarian? No

40. Do you worry about global warming? Yes. I fear this story isn't going to have a happy ending for Polar Bears

I'm not tagging anyone, but if you participate, let me know so I can compare answers