They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games

I am very neutral about former President Jimmy Carter. I voted Democratic back in 1976 and 1980, but that had more to do with my antipathy toward Richard Nixon* and Ronald Reagan. I know Carter has done wonderful work since leaving the White House, and I admire and appreciate that, but still, I don't feel very passionate about him one way or the other. (In short, he's not Bill.)

So when I heard Carter deemed Bush 43 one of the worst presidents, I just sort of yawned.

Many commentators have talked about the "exclusive club" of ex-presidents and how they usually are more careful with one another, and this got me to thinking … It was Bush 41 and Bill talkin' bout the tsunami. Bush 41 and Bill talkin' about Katrina. It was Bush 41 and Bill going off to Pope John Paul II's funeral. Why don't they ever include Jimmy?

Is it because Jimmy is a sanctimonious pain in the ass? Or is it because Jimmy doesn't add anything to the carefully calibrated Bush 41/Clinton equation?

While I adore Bill Clinton, I also know exactly what he is: a consummate politician. I'm sure he realizes that while he has international popularity and charisma that Bush 41 doesn't, hanging around with Bush 41 gives him the gravitas he lacks. And that somehow, someway, both Bush 41 and Clinton are sure their alliance will benefit Jeb and Hillary. It could be that Jimmy Carter would just add a politically irrelevant ingredient to their dynastic stew.

Or maybe he's a sanctimonious pain in the ass.

I'm open to either argument.


*When I was young, that pardon really pissed me off. Like Ted Kennedy, I have mellowed with time and recognize the wisdom of it now. But at the time, it completely soured me on Ford.

I didn't even know I cared about Simon Cowell!

Apparently something is missing in my life and no one understands me but Simon Cowell. At least that's as far as I got with dream interpretation.

So here's the dream I had last night: I am on my own, traveling through Florida. I am not going to visit my friends in the Keys -- they are nowhere to be found in this dream. The area I'm visiting is pretty deserted and very muddy. I think I hurricane has just blown through.

I go into a bar and that's where I meet Simon Cowell. He jokes that he not really the bartender, he still has the gig on American Idol, he is just watching the place for his friends.

He mixes me a very strong Cosmo and I discover that he is married to Carol Ann, the much older sister of a girl I went to high school with. Carol Ann must be 60 now and I haven't seen nor thought of her in decades, but never mind.

The bar is very empty so Simon and I have ample time to chat. He really is very nice but not at all upset that this surprises me. He gets this all time.

I finish my drink and tell him I must be on my way. He warns me to be careful as I slog through all that mud. The drink was on him.

That's it.

According to dreammoods.com:

• Walking through mud symbolizes "feeling weighed down by a situation, problem, or relationship."

• Dreaming that I am in a bar means I am seeking "escape from the stresses of everyday life," or that I am "seeking acceptance in some aspect of daily life."

• That the streets are deserted, or empty, means that "something is missing" in my life.

Or maybe all this dream means is the capers I had with lunch didn't agree with me.