Saturday, June 09, 2012

The really scary thing ...

… is how much I'm enjoying this piece of crap. Campy horror movies were made for Saturday nights.


I bought myself a Kindle Fire, and I'm loading it up with magazines. Hopefully this will help me get a handle on my wicked clutter problem because if I don't read one magazine before the new one arrives, I'll toss it but download it onto the Fire. That's how I came to carry four virtual issues of PEOPLE in my purse.

Reading them back-to-back-to-back-to-back, I discovered that "Chatter/One Last Thing" actually doesn't ask the same five questions each week -- though they do repeat "The Last Thing I Cooked" quite often. Anyway, since I am both a celebrity in my own mind and a fan of hard-hitting journalism, I am answering PEOPLE's probing questions here.

1) The Last Thing I Cooked was cornflakes as a late night snack

2) The Last Thing I Splurged On was my Kindle Fire

3) The Last Time I Drank Too Much was the first day of my vacation. Frosty lime rum punch at lunch and then a couple vodka crans with dinner.

4) The Last Gift I Received was brunch and a book from my old friend Kathy. She and I have decades of tortured history and I don't want to get sucked back into all the drama. I just saw her because I didn't want to be mean.

5) Last TV Show Obsession Is this not the most tumultuous season of Mad Men yet?

6) The Last Thing I Watched on TV The Today Show is on right now

7) The Last Junk Food I Ate I had a cheese dog for lunch yesterday

8) The Last Time I Laughed A coworker and I got the giggles yesterday over all the advice I have for Jennifer Aniston. What? Isn't she everyone's imaginary friend?

9) The Last Time I Cursed was when my cat Reynaldo dumped a box of corn flakes (see question #1) off the counter into his water bowl.

10) The Last Song I Sang was "Another Night." Fortunately Aretha drowned me out.

11) The Last Thing I Bought was a navy belt

12) My Last Workout was two days ago -- 25 minutes of cardio and 10 minutes on the Nautilus machines

13) The Last Time I Forgot My Wallet was two weeks ago, at the coffee shop I frequent. They were very nice about it -- I didn't have to wash dishes like Lucy and Ethel when they couldn't pay at the French restaurant -- but it was sooo embarrassing.

14) The Last Time I Said "I Love You" was in an email to a friend. I think that counts.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Changes

1. Do you believe people can truly change? If we want to.
2. Do you think there is anything wrong with being average? Nope.
3. Do you believe in fairy tale love? I think every love story is a fairy tale at some point. As Orson Welles said, "Any story can have a happy ending. It depends, of course, on where you stop the story."
4. Has anyone ever spread something malicious about you? Dear God, yes.
5. Have you ever done something at a party that you've ever regretted? Dear God, yes.
6. How do you go about setting your goals? I don't. Maybe I'd be more accomplished if I did.
7. Do you believe you deserve everything you want? Yes. I'm a very nice person.
8. Do you have people in your life you could always count on? Yes. I'm lucky that way.
9. Did you ever make a close friend from someone that you've dated? No. Generally their next girlfriends don't want me around. Which is sad. After loving someone, I'd like to be able to like him.