10 on Tuesday

On my mind right now ...

1) Sean Murray has signed a new contract! That means that Timothy McGee will be on NCIS again this fall. He's not the hottest, nor the funniest, but his character is sweet and smart and I'd miss him. I'd also miss all his nicknames: Probie, McGoo, McGeek, McNerd and Elf Lord.

2) The veins on the inside of my knees aren't fading as much as I'd like. Yet I'm tempted to skip on my next (and, hopefully, final) sclerotherapy session next Friday because I hate the post-treatment support hose soooooo much. Considering how much time, discomfort and money I have sunk into this project, that would be short-sighted and immature. However, short-sightedness and immaturity kinda define me at times.

3) Carlos Zambrano. I know I should have compassion, in case he is indeed suffering from some sort of medical problem. But I suspect he's just a dick. I mean, watch this! Poor Lou practically had to resort to a tranquilizer gun to control his pitcher.

4) The Supreme Court must not care if we have a long, hot summer here. How could they overturn Chicago's gun ban? I know Mayor Daley is on it, and normally my faith in him is limitless, but I'm scared.

5) Today's workout felt good. For some reason, they always do on the days when I almost don't go.

6) It's beginning in earnest. The State of Illinois is now seriously exerting their power over their ward, my uncle. They restrict his phone use, monitor his mail, and have cut off his cable. He resents all this mightily. However, I'm glad it's finally coming to pass. The court ruled he was no longer equipped to handle his own affairs back in March, and then for many weeks, nothing happened. I think we were all lulled into thinking not much about his life would change. Everything about his life will change. I'd prefer if we could just get it all over with.

7) The opening bars of certain songs always evoke very specific memories. I don't need the whole song, just the first notes of "The End of the Innocence," by Don Henley, "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5 and "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Springfield will take me back.

8) Hearing the Chipmunks sing "Chelsea Dagger" makes me smile. I suspect this means I'm disturbed.

9) No one is taking work very seriously today. I don't know if it's because the Taste of Chicago is going on just past the front door, or because we have a short work week, but it's undeniably something. Why, even I am composing an unusually long post here!

10) I wish I had an admin at home. I need to return one of the duplicate handbags ebags sent, and tell the Doubleday Book Club that I'm not paying for a book I never requested and didn't receive. But I don't feel like doing either thing and will put them off for as long as possible.

A family Facebook tale

I love my family, I do. But at times I feel more like a changeling than a real relative. And lately my "otherness" has been more powerful.

Let me start with the least serious and most annoying familial issue: Facebook. I don't have a problem with Facebook itself. To me, it's an entertaining toy that only sporadically holds my interest. Twitter is the same for me. I think it's because they are so both so superficial and public by nature. The place where I participate most consistently, and am most authentic, is here on this blog.

Anyhow, last year, my Aunt Jo (my dad's kid sister) found my oft-dormant Facebook page and wished me a happy birthday. I thought that was very sweet and thanked her. I thought that was it.

Jo is the relative I most resemble physically (as opposed to my two dark-haired, dark-eyed sisters) and she's my godmother. But my she and my dad clashed (he clashed with just about everyone) and mother always thought she was a spoiled brat (an opinion solidified before I was born), so we were never very close. Plus, she and my older sister had quite the knock-down/drag-out over my grandmother's will. So I was glad that bears me no ill will. So there you go.

Except that now my kid sister is on Facebook. And published a photo of me, which I wanted to see because, well, anyone with internet access can get to those photos if they're talented enough and I like knowing what's out there. The photo is fine -- but there's a meow-y comment to my sister from my aunt, hoping my kid sister will stay in touch because "your sister's not too communicative, at least not with me."

Now, for reasons too complicated and wacky to comprehend, my kid sister is always alternately pissed at or jealous of me. And I guess it's my fault that my Aunt Jo doesn't really care about my sister or her family and is just using them to communicate with me.

So I exchanged some really meaningless messages with my Aunt Jo (it occurs to me she might have photos of my grandpa, whom I loved very much, so I don't want to tell her "gee, thanks alot" or "go screw yourself") and wonder how I got into this gene pool.

I mean, just by sitting here, minding my own business, I manage to provoke two family members. I'm trying to consider it a gift.

Clean Me for Monday

Every day I am going to do something -- no matter how small -- to improve my standard of living at home.

I did manage to be clean last night before I went to sleep. I sorted the mail, putting a week's worth receipts in their proper folder. It felt good.