Showing posts with label May Challenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label May Challenge. Show all posts

Friday, May 31, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 31

Day 31, Friday: A vivid memory


It's a sunny lunchtime and I'm waiting to cross State and Randolph. One of my coworkers happens to be at the same crosswalk at the same time and sidles up next to me. We say "hi" and make small talk as we cross together. I notice the gray flecks in his hair and I'm overwhelmed with a desire to touch them. As we reach the opposite curb and go our separate ways, I realize to my surprise that while I may not be in love with him, I'm certainly in lust.



Thursday, May 30, 2013

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 29

Day 29, Wednesday: Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories.


1) All My Loving. The Beatles. "Close your eyes and I'll kiss you, tomorrow I'll miss you. Remember, I'll always be true." I was 6 when I heard this the first time and this song, and that man singing it, defined romantic love for me. I've had the honor of hearing Sir Paul sing it live and he still melts me. Here's a lovely clip of Paul looking back on Paul.



2) September. Earth, Wind and Fire. Because it always makes me happy. Always.



3) Stoney End. Barbra Streisand. For me, Stoney End is a place, where I go when I'm hurting.When she howls that "the fury and the broken thunder's come to match my raging soul," that's the sound my heart makes. Babs has been there.




4) Hang Fire. The Rolling Stones. This is the only Rolling Stones song I have any affection for, but I love it to bits. It's so snotty and subversive and efficient -- less than 2 1/2 minutes long!


5) Peaceful. Helen Reddy. Helen Reddy recorded a lot of crap in her career, but this is really very good. I love the idea of it, that somewhere there's a place where no one's bending over my shoulder, nobody breathing in my ear.







Sunday, May 26, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 26

Day 26, Sunday: Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.

William Zervakos, Arias Jury Foreman, Says '18 Days Of Testimony Hurt Her' 

I feel for the jury. These poor people put their lives on hold from January until now. They have had to view gruesome autopsy photos and listen to lurid testimony. The defendant is batshit crazy and her crime is heinous, but the prosecutor wasted their time on the wrong things. (Hours spent on whether Snow White was a battered woman. Really?) Now, after doing their civic duty to the best of their ability, they're taking pipe.

I realize that the death penalty is, in most cases, a state issue. But the fact still remains that it's not applied fairly in this country. While I believe Jodi Arias is a terrible person and a danger to society, I could not sentence her to death. Not while William Balfour here in Illinois, convicted of killing Jennifer Hudson's family got life without parole (3 life sentences, actually), and California's Betty Broderick killed two people and actually comes up for parole. And while the public is out for Jodi's scalp, Betty still amazingly has supporters out there who think that, after remorselessly committing a double homicide, she should be let out to walk among us.
Travis Alexander

Then there's my faith. I don't believe God wants us to stop killing by killing.

While I feel bad for the jury, most of all, I feel terrible for the family of Travis Alexander. They have to go through this again. The centerpiece of this soap opera, Jodi herself, is the least sympathetic one of all.

 








Blog Every Day in May -- Day 25

Day 25, Saturday: Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget (good or bad)

"You're more exceptional in every way than you know." So said my shrink at the end of our last session. I heard her. Now I'm trying to feel it.

It's been two months since I've had therapy. It's been a tough two months but I'm getting through. I have her number and I can call her any time. That's a comfort.


Friday, May 24, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 24

 Day 24, Friday: Your top 3 worst traits

I can be proud, defensive and lazy
 


Blog Every Day in May -- Day 23


Day 23, Thursday: Things you've learned that school won't teach you

No matter how good someone's life looks from the outside, you have no idea how it feels on the inside.

The hours between 2 and 4 in the afternoon crawl along, but 2 to 4 AM goes by in the blink in an eye.

Just about every American 21 and over has a favorite Sinatra song. Trust me, this is important to know. It can help you make conversation with complete strangers at social gatherings.

 



Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 22

Day 22, Wednesday: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)

I am so fucking tired of this Recession! I hate worrying every three months (each quarter) that I'm going to be let go. There aren't a lot of jobs out there ... fewer at my salary ... fewer still for someone over 50. I'm angry, I'm scared, I feel helpless.

In the 1990s, we hired people then who were my age now. We hired anyone whose knuckles didn't drag. We had more jobs than people.

But now it's my turn. Now I'm facing unemployment, but there are no jobs. This is not fair.

And that's just me. If I wasn't worried about making myself too sad, I'd detail what's going on with best friend (unemployed), my former boss Ed (unemployed), my friend in the Keys (underemployed) and my friend John (underemployed). 

Can't we turn the page already? Can't we start over with a fresh new economy? Can't I stop worrying?

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 22

Day 21, Tuesday: A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives

This is my favorite Thursday Thirteen, and I've done literally hundreds of them. It's an original idea -- women I'll look up when I get to heaven -- and I think I did a good job with it. Scroll through the comments and you'll see one from columnist John Dickerson. It made me happy that I got to make him happy. People really do read what we write!

I like this Trifecta entry based on the prompt, "Home." Writing it made me happy. Reading it makes me happy.

I like this one about Peggy Noonan because it's well written, rather timeless (as long as Peggy keeps appearing on Sunday morning TV), and because it still somehow gets a lot of hits and really annoyed a stranger named Steve.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 20

Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

Reynaldo. It's embarrassing how much of my life revolves around tending to, disciplining, worrying about and cursing that skinny beige bundle of fur.

Currently he's suffering from Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease. It's getting better since he's been on a special diet from the vet. But when he's not feeling well, he gets more aggressive, more destructive, more demanding. I understand now that he's just trying to get my attention, because he wants desperately for me to fix him. And I'm trying!



Saturday, May 18, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 18

Day 18, Saturday: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.

FREE. That's how I felt as a child whenever I was on the swings.

I recently said "goodbye" to my childhood home and as I went from room to room, I remembered anew how unhappy I'd been there and knew I wouldn't miss it. But the yard! That was another story. I loved the yard, with the inflatable pool and trees to lay under and snow and leaves to play in and, best of all, the swingset. I could sail through air for hours at a time. Since our yard connected me to the home of my oldest friend, she often joined me. We'd swing and sing Beatle songs.

The swings in our yard were my favorite swings, but not my only ones. There was the rope swing with the wooden seat at my Grandpa's house. He built it for my Aunt Joanne when she was a little girl and I really enjoyed knowing exactly where it came from. My Grandpa loved being in his tool shop, and I liked thinking about him drilling the holes and knotting the rope. Also, it gave me an escape from the grownup discussions that grew so boring in the kitchen.

There was also the swingset at the playground. The swings there had heavy black rubber seats, perfect for laying on your tummy and swinging headfirst into the air.

The only one I wasn't crazy for was the one at school. For some reason, swings were a major "chick thing," and there was always a line of girls waiting for a turn. I wasn't interested in having my swing time monitored. That was fine for the monkey bars or the slide. But the swing! Knowing when your urge to fly is satisfied is unique to each individual and should never be regimented.






Friday, May 17, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 17

Day 17, Friday: A favorite photo of yourself and why




Because the 1960s appeal to me, and because I see so much of my younger self in Peggy Olson on Mad Men.


Thursday, May 16, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 16

Day 16, Thursday: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it

I survived physical abuse. When I was a teen, I was sexually molested by a revered older male relative. For the first 17 years of my life I was regularly beaten by my bigger, older sister. These two realities set the stage for a long, abusive relationship when I was in my 20s. I somehow came to believe that was my "lot in life," that somehow it's OK to handle me and treat me anyway you wish.

That is not the case. I deserve dignity, respect and kindness.

When I turned 30, I ended that abusive relationship, entered therapy and joined a church.

More than 20 years later, I still struggle. I ended a relationship with a good man perhaps prematurely, I was so worried about walking down that doormat road again. I have problems with intimacy -- I am more honest on this blog than I am in life. My shrink said my past has made me too reluctant to let people see my "backstage." And I worry about what is my fault, what is my responsibility, and what is not. 

But I am, for the most part, a happy woman. I have a solid sense of humor and many good friends whom I treasure. I find joy in the world around me. My past has made me strong, independent and resilient, and those are all things I'm grateful to God for.


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 14

Day 14, Tuesday: Ten things that make you really happy

1) Singing along with my shower radio as I wash my hair 
2) Cuddling with my big old tomcat, Joey
3) Going to the movies
4) Losing myself in a book
5) The color of the sky
6) Cubs Win! Cubs Win!
7) A job well done
8) Kids. At church last Sunday, two little ones were dedicated (baptized) and it was a delight to both observe them, and their slightly older sibs.
9) Seeing my best friend's name in my inbox
10) Being downtown

 

Monday, May 13, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 13



Day 13, Monday: Issue a public apology.

Dear Fat Me, I'm so sorry I didn't go to the health club today. I know I am in abhorrent physical condition just now, and blowing off my cardio time is not good for my self esteem, self respect or health. I feel bad, but that's not productive, either. So I will simply work harder tomorrow to do better by and for myself




Blog Every Day in May -- Day 12

Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)

This is a no-brainer for Mother's Day, but I miss my mom. This was my first Mother's Day without her in my life, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. And this blog really helped me get through it.

For I have a real-time, honest log of my feelings on Mother's Days gone by and, frankly, those posts don't represent my mom and me at our best. She was wrestling health problems, she was vague, she was thoughtless ... I am not sorry to not have another painful Mother's Day to add. 

Which is not to say there isn't a lot about my mother that I admire and that I don't miss her. But it's important to see her clearly. She wasn't perfect. Our relationship wasn't perfect. And I'm glad that her health problems are behind her and that she is happy, whole and with God.





Saturday, May 11, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 11

Day 11, Saturday: Sell yourself in 10 words or less

I'm loyal and sweet and smart and sexy and funny.


Friday, May 10, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 10

Day 10, Friday: Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill.

I can't think of just one MOST embarrassing, so let me share a recent one. I had a hysterectomy in 2011 that left my belly with a substantial scar. Runs from my belly button as far down south as it can. Consequently, when I'm at the health club, I keep my rump to everyone because I'm embarrassed by the scar. In retrospect, the hunk of toilet paper hanging out from between butt cheeks was probably more embarrassing.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must move to a land where no one speaks English and therefore cannot speak of my shame.


Thursday, May 09, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 9

Day 9, Thursday: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)


Lunch at Wildberry

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Blog Every Day in May -- Day 8


Day 8, Wednesday: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.

"Don't listen to what they say. Watch what they do." It's the best piece of workplace advice I've received, and I'm happy to pass it along.

Management often makes pronouncements that are filled with rosy-sounding crap phrases, all the while doing things like eliminating holidays (What? We don't get President's Day off this year?) and suddenly paying closer attention to how many pencils and paperclips you order. When that starts happening, get your resume in order. No matter what they say.