I RECENTLY OVERHEARD
In January, I posted how the couple at the next table were blatantly, unashamedly eavesdropping on a friend and me as we chatted and dined. I didn’t think we were particularly interesting, nor worthy of the full attention of two strangers. But then, I thought, maybe we were. I wondered about the quality of the conversation swirling around me, tried to remember to remove my iPod, and listened in.
Here are 13 recently overheard conversations. Are they interesting? Let's just say I'm not leaving the house without my iPod ever again.
1) “Mom, I can’t believe you gave him the $500!” A man on his cell outside a restaurant. Apparently his son conned his mother (the boy’s grandmother) into “lending” him $500 for spring break.
2) “He demands a three-year commitment from all his new hires.”
“I don’t think that’s legal.”
"Yeah but he's from Europe. I wonder if he knows that."
Two women in the healthclub locker room, changing back into street clothes and discussing the first woman’s job search
3) “We have to find hot sauce.”
“I don’t think they have it here.”
“He puts hot sauce on everything!”
A pair of coworkers in line in front of me at Au Bon Pain, bringing lunch to a third who likes it spicy.
4) “You’re sure getting out of here early.”
“I’m going to get a shoe shine. He takes his time. Good way to start the weekend.”
“My wife has my weekend planned. You know, the ‘Honey Do’ list.”
Now to look at this dialog, you’d think these men were on the verge of retirement but no, they were in their 30s. I rode the elevator to the lobby with them one recent Friday.
5) “Don’t kiss me! Your cigar smells like fart!”
Woman to man picking her up at the train station. He laughed and hugged her shoulder. They seemed happy to see one another even though his cigar did indeed smell like fart.
6) “I was glad when the storm knocked that tree house down. It never looked safe to me.”
Woman seated behind me on the train. Here’s one time I was tempted to turn around and join the conversation. If the tree house never looked safe to you, how could you let your kids play in it?
7) “He seems chipper but, I dunno, under the surface there’s something. I think it’s because he doesn’t have any goals or objectives to work toward. That would make me sad, too.”
“I wish he would just face it and cry about it or something. Stop trying to be so strong or resilient or whatever. Maybe if he just faced it and dealt with it, he could make it better.”
Two women on the train, discussing their underemployed friend. Apparently he was let go in and has been unable to find a new position in his chosen profession.
8) “I told her I don’t know what she wants me to do about it! I mean, like, come on! It’s not like there’s a course at the high school called ‘vocabulary!’ Shit!”
“I don’t know why you care. She’s not your mother or even a teacher.”
Two high school girls, both wearing Obama buttons, walking up the street as they complained about some adult in their lives. I was intrigued because the first girl talked so fast and the second one spoke soooooo slooooow.
9) “Did he actually touch you?”
“No. But he came close. It was scary. It was right there in front of Macy’s!”
Couple I stood beside while waiting at a streetlight. The topic was not as it seemed. She was explaining why she doesn’t drive downtown anymore, so I assume it was her bumper that was almost touched.
10) “When was Ronald Reagan canonized, anyway? I never thought very much of him.”
“Yeah. And didn’t he have Alzheimer’s during his second term?”
Theatergoers seated beside us. This conversation completely freaked me out because a friend and I had a similar conversation earlier that very day! What are the odds?
11) “She said when she needed help to go to the bathroom, that was it. That’s when she wanted to die. Then she died in her sleep.”
“Good for her. She went in her own way.”
Two older ladies – one in a wheelchair – at the museum, discussing a mutual friend.
12) “Oh, you’re kidding! That is so arrogant.”
“I wish it had been a male hooker.”
“Men like that think they’re above the law and they aren’t.”
I assume these two women were talking about NY Gov. Elliott Spitzer, but I’m not 100% sure. I was eavesdropping on them while helping a coworker select a new suitcase at lunchtime.
13) “She’s in the hospital? NO! Things were going well for her!”
“She’s always having trouble with weight. I bet she’s been dieting too much.”
Two women in our breakroom, responding to a news story about Janet Jackson’s bout with the flu.
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2) Malcolm reminds us why we got up early on Saturdays
3) Chuck takes us shopping for her costume
4) Nicole Austin has a techno TT
5) Nicholas tries to help us speak English
6) Open Grove Claudia helps us shake off the doldrums
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21) Pop Tart revisits a very important year!
22) Lisa's TT is FFFFantastic!
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