Thursday Thirteen #134

THIRTEEN COMMON MEDICAL PROCEDURES

I have spent a lot of time in doctors' offices lately, being picked and poked and prodded. It got me to thinking ... Does this happen often? What kind of tests get run frequently?

Well, here they are: 13 frequently run tests. Shown here in alphabetical order, not in order of popularity. I mean, popularity with doctors and insurance company. I doubt that any are popular with patients!

1) Blood pressure -- for hypertension
2) Bone mineral density test -- for osteoporosis
3) Clinical breast exam -- to screen for breast cancer
4) Cholesterol -- to test for hypercholesterolemia, for high cholesterol
5) Digital rectal exam -- colorectal cancer screening
6) Eye exam -- for glaucoma, macular degeneration, cataracts and diabetic retinopathy
7) Fasting plasma glucose -- for diabetes
8) Fecal occult blood -- colorectal cancer screening
9) FSH -- screens for ovarian failure, which leads to menopause
10) HIV -- for HIV/AIDS
11) Mammogram -- for breast cancer
12) Pap Test -- for cervical cancer
13) Sigmoidoscophy -- colorectal cancer screening

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She's good at times like this

I know that in many of her appearances in my blog, my oldest friend seems like a hot mess. And she deserves to, for she is usually her own worst enemy. But this evening, she earned her "girlfriend stripes." She really came through for me when I needed her, and I appreciate it enormously.

After I had my unpleasant tests this morning (see post below), the tech told me my doctor would get the results within 24 hours. So I went out and put them behind me. Then, when I got home, I saw that my doctor had called me three times (twice at home, once at work) to discuss what she's learned from the ultrasounds.

What?! Did my pictures reveal something so dire that the lab ran them over to my doctor? Is her message so sensitive in nature that she's afraid to leave it on my voicemail? What's going on inside of me?

My oldest friend not only works in a hospital, she's had her share of medical problems. And she said that if my doctor said, "I have an opening tomorrow at 9:00. Be there so we can talk about your ultrasound," I'd have to worry. But the message my doctor left -- "I want to talk to you about your ultrasound," with no next steps -- could mean:

a) She knows what's wrong with me and wants to prescribe meds
b) She suspects what's wrong with me and wants to refer me to a specialist
c) The ultrasounds were blurry and she needs another round
d) The ultrasounds were inconclusive and she needs more views

I like that. I'm okay with that. It's all reasonable and it all makes sense. And after all, I went to my doctor in the first place because I know something is wrong me. We want to find it and fix it, right?

I have my nephew all day tomorrow for our summer outing. I will return my doctor's call as our activities permit. Since my doctor said nothing -- not in any of her three messages -- that implied urgency, I'm reasonably sure that nothing she says will cause me to start screaming in front of my nephew and ruin our day.

And kudos to my oldest friend for coming through in the clutch!

I Want Wednesday

I want this to be over! This morning's ultrasound tests weren't so bad. It's just that it was awful to go through them with a full bladder and bowels! I try to find humor in most things, but this one was hard. It would have been so humiliating to soil myself, and I truly was worried that would happen.

But it didn't! The tech was very thoughtful and tried to make me comfortable. She also assured me that my doctor will have the results in 24 hours. I hope then we know what the culprit is, what's causing all pain and pressure, and we can move from diagnosis to treatment.

It feels good to know he's feeling good

My best friend doesn't toot his own horn often, so I enjoyed hearing from today. In describing today's presentation, his glass wasn't half empty, it wasn't even half full, it was FULL. He got to present the deck he had labored on so long and hard, he fielded every tough question thrown at him, and the client was impressed. So was his rather demanding boss. He was on Cloud 9.

It was fun to see him feeling proud and confident.