"Sad is part of life"

So my shrink told me this evening. We weren't talking about me, we were discussing her. But only in the most superficial terms, because she doesn't like us spending my time talking about her. I know her husband has had a rough summer, health wise, which has caused her to cancel some of our sessions. I asked her if she had good news to report and she answered guardedly that she has "hopeful" news.

I feel vulnerable. I know that I'm not her most critical patient, only seeing her once a month. But it's such a comfort to know she's there if I need her.

I also feel badly for her. I've been seeing her since the 1980s. I have been able to tell, by the photos on her desk and the artwork in her waiting room, that her children have grown up and had children themselves. I know she and her husband have been together 40 years.

I know "sad is a part of life." I know that people get old and sick. I may have to accept it, but I don't have to like it.

10 on Tuesday

Here's what's on This Old Gal's mind this sunny Tuesday.

1) I'm worried about my philodendron. I inherited it from an abruptly-dismissed coworker around Christmastime, 2004. At that point, his roots were bursting through the cheap white pot he was stuck in. I transplanted him into a roomier terra cotta, made sure all sides got light, and he's been flourishing. Except his roots were starting to appear on the surface of the pot, so after almost 6 years, I repotted him again. This time into a big ass, 10" pot. I hope he's OK, that the shock of the move didn't damage him. It's startling how attached to him I have become.

2) And his baby brothers ... the little shoots I am watching take root in the vase right beside him.

3) Bob Brenly. The Cubs TV announcer doesn't want to manage the Cubs. He officially took himself out of the running. Fine by me, I enjoy him in the broadcast booth. But it looks like there are still 3 candidates -- former Cub and current Yankee manager Joe Girardi, Cubs interim manager Mike Quade (who has been doing a fine job), and Cubs great Ryne Sandberg. Ryno was my grandma's favorite player of all-time, so I know she's in Heaven, intervening with God on his behalf.

4) Ed. Had lunch with my friend and former boss today. He was upbeat and in good spirits ... and kept surreptitiously looking down my t-shirt. Good God, we've known each other since the late 1980s! In all this time I never noticed him checking out my bod before.

5) Egg burgers. I had my first one for lunch today -- an egg sunny-side up served on an open-faced burger. It was yummy. I'm now a convert.

6) "Someone told me it's all happening at the zoo." I absolutely hate it when strangers walk by my office and peer in at me. It's an office. I'm banging away at my keyboard. What else would I be doing? The least they can do is toss me marshmallows as they stare, like visitors do when they gawk at the polar bears.

7) Space and time ... and the Beatles. In just a few weeks, on October 9, John Lennon would turn 70. A 70-year-old long-haired lad from Liverpool! Imagine that! I wonder what he'd be like now.

8) The new mom two doors down. I hope my coworker has her baby, a boy, on October 9. There's profound karma attached to that day. Not to mention "Instant Karma."

9) My pedi. I don't care what the calendar says, I'm wearing sandals until it starts to look funky.

10) My uncle. His birthday was Saturday. I sent him a card and he didn't acknowledge it. He's also been rather malicious toward my cousin, his only daughter. I think I just have to get used to the fact that he's fading and will never get better, will never be the same. Shit, I hate this.