Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Cubs are making me fat

It's true! During this exciting, closerthanthis Cubs-Astros game, I've eaten a Lean Cuisine (chicken carbonara), a salad and a bowl of Great Grains breakfast cereal. Oh! And 4 fingernails and now I'm gnawing on a cuticle. The Brewers won earlier this evening, so this game is essential if the Cubs are to retain a fraction of first place. If that's not worth gorging myself over, what is? (At least everything I've shoved into my mouth thus far has been nutrition-rich, at least compared to the Hershey's with Almonds I suddenly crave.)

Thinking of all things yummy, this is Ryan Theriot, the Cub infielder who, in terms of appearance, is the quintessence of an MLB player. (Oh, go ahead. Insert your own dirty joke here. We're in the 11th inning, I don't care.)