Saturday, August 26, 2006

Get well, President Ford

What do Linda McCartney and Gerald Ford have in common? I was unnecessarily harsh to them in the 1970s and I'm sorry about it now. Let's blame it on my youth.

When it was announced that Gerald Ford was Nixon's choice to succeed Spiro Agnew, I was in the backseat of a friend's family car, being ferried to some after-school activity. As I heard Nixon prattling off Ford's attributes through the car's AM radio speakers, I remember adding my own, "And he cheats really good, too." Cracked up my friends, but their dad behind the wheel was quiet. As a kid, I had no idea how serious this was for the country. All I knew was that Richard Nixon was a loser, a crook, a waste of space, a bad man. And anyone he selected as his second in command had to be a loser, crook, etc., as well.

When Ford became president himself and pardoned Nixon, I was appalled. Gypped out of an impeachment by his chickenshit resignation, I wanted to see Nixon go to trial. When the pardon came down, I was sure some kind of "fix" was in.

Decades later, during the Whitewater/Lewinsky affair which weakened our country and made us look more than a little ridiculous the world over, I appreciated what Gerald Ford did. That pardon was patriotic. That pardon saved this nation a messy and ultimately pointless debacle. Naturally Nixon deserved impeachment more than Bill Clinton did, but with the wisdom of age I understand better how much a Nixon trial would cost this country, and how tiny the benefit would be compared to the cost.

Gerald Ford is an old man now. He has health problems. I hope that he takes solace in the Profiles in Courage award he won a few years back, awarded by the Kennedy Library in honor of his courageous decision to pardon Richard Nixon. I hope he knows that people like me are sorry we were so hard on him back in those dark days.

Get well, and God bless you, sir.

OK, so I'm xenophobic

Here I am, trying to kill time while my new Wamsutta sheet set is in the dryer, taking a voyeuristic peak at other people's lives by hitting the "next blog" button over and over.

As I'm surfing from blog to blog, I don't want to be confronted with Asian symbols or exclusively Spanish entries. To be honest, I don't even want to read English entries by American expatriates living in New Zealand or wherever the hell they've gone. I don't want to expand my horizons by learning about other cultures and foreign lands.

I want to read about relationship troubles, money troubles, career troubles. You know, the juicy stuff of life. I enjoy reading about the triumphs, too. And looking at cute pictures of other people's dogs and cats. Peering into other people's blogs is as much fun as an old Judith Krantz novel. (Remember Scruples?) And I don't want it interrupted with foreigners and educational stuff, OK?

Confused

So let's just say for a moment that John Mark Karr is a pathetic nut with a fragile grasp of reality. If he didn't kill JonBenet Ramsey, does this mean her parents are suspects again? To borrow a phrase, "Where's Johnny?"* Is he still under an "umbrella of suspicion?"

*Heard someone on TV say that today's incoming college freshman have only known Jay Leno as the host of The Tonight Show. Does that make anyone but me feel really, really old?