10) You don't fool anyone when you try to conceal your boredom by yawning through your nose.
9) I love you, but let's face it, we annoy each other. I want to enjoy my vacation without tension. That's why I'm staying in a hotel instead of in your guestroom.
8) Hello, Geek Squad? I don't care what it costs, just please come over and hook up my new DVD player. It feels like it's taunting me.
7) Please don't say, "through no fault of my own" anymore. Some of your problems actually are your fault.
6) Here's the message I really wanted to write on your Christmas card: "You poor thing! You had the worst 2008 of anyone, anywhere, so 2009 just has to be better."
5) Yes, I've gained weight.
4) You're the last one I think of at night and the first one I think of each morning.
3) That's OK. I don't mind not being able to sit down in front of my locker. It's far more important that your water bottle and iPod be comfortable.
2) Sometimes I'm glad I'm old and am no longer expected to be hip.
1) I'm scared. Can I have a hug?
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