John would have approved

When my mom died, my friend John didn't send a card or attend her funeral service. Instead he did something more lasting. He told me that you never miss your mother more than on your birthday, and since Thanksgiving and my birthday always fall close together, he predicted that holiday would be especially hard for me. From that moment on, he said, we would always spend Thanksgiving together. Him and me and his oldest friend Gregory, who I also know and like. Gregory had also lost his parents by this point, so John christened our celebration Orphan's Thanksgiving.

We never cooked. It was always at a nice eatery with a prix fixe menu -- always turkey. No short ribs or lasagna for us. And I had to dress up! John said he was sick of seeing me in Cubs t-shirts. Sometimes it was more than just the three of us. If you were an orphan, you were welcome. One year I remember Kurt joined us. He'd just lost his partner of many years and was still grieving. Kurt was off to Hawaii for Christmas, feeling a change of scene would help him heal. But he'd forgotten Thanksgiving. What to do on Thanksgiving. John to the rescue!

John died this past spring. The last time he, Gregory and I were healthy and happy together was Thanksgiving 2023. I wasn't sure Gregory would want to continue our tradition but he did! I was relieved and happy ... and a little afraid it would be sad that it would be just the two of us.

Only it wasn't. 

Early in the week, Will from my movie group asked if I had plans for Thanksgiving. His sister and cousins live in Long Island and he's going there for Christmas but he can't afford to fly out twice in a month's time. The neighbor he has been spending Thanksgiving with has Parkinson's and went into assisted living.

Before I invited him to join us, I checked with Gregory and got a thumbs up. After all, Will meets the criteria: he's an orphan. So there would be three after all.

I was a little nervous about it. Gregory and Will never met. Gregory can be nervous and shy with new people. What I didn't know is that Will is nervous with new people, too, but compensates by getting VERY blabby. So it worked out nicely. Will talked and Gregory was an attentive audience. I was especially happy at the end of the night when I saw them exchanging their contact information. Gregory is 71 now but in good shape but bored, and Will is going to try to get him a part-time job.

I feel like the evening unfolded just as John would have wanted it to. 

Photo by Enis Yavuz on Unsplash

November Challenge -- Day 30

 November Challenge: One thing you're excited for

Find the challenge here

The TCM Classic Film Festival this April. I've got my hotel room booked and the passes go on sale December 10. While it hasn't been announced yet, I suspect that they will show The Wizard of Oz on the big screen, a movie I haven't seen in a theater in decades. But whatever slate of classic films await me, I know I will discover new-to-me gems among the old favorites.

In addition to the movies, I'll get to reunite with classic film nerds I've met and kept up with via Facebook. I know it's fashionable to slag social media. I agree that since Elon Musk took over, Twitter has become a hellscape of hate and misinformation. But Facebook and -- to a far lesser extent for me -- Instagram have enabled me to keep up with people across the months and the miles so that when we meet again, it's like no time has elapsed at all.

 

 Photo by Andreas Rasmussen on Unsplash.

Saturday 9

 
Saturday 9: Thank You (2000)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week's song begins with Dido complaining about her day, but then she sees a photo of a loved one that reminds her "it's not so bad." What was the most recent photo you took? We had Thanksgiving dinner at Cooper's Hawk Winery and they have a nice mixed drink menu. This is my Dark Chocolate (vodka, dark chocolate liqueur, and Bailey's).

2) She admits that between a hangover and her finances, she's got a headache. What's your go-to headache remedy? Advil (ibuprofen).

3) Though her given name is Florian, her family started calling her Dido when she was very young, so she considers it her "real" name. Which is not to say she likes it. She said being christened one name but called another was confusing when she was a little girl. Plus, since neither Florian nor Dido are common monikers, she didn't appreciate the way her names made her stand out at school. "I used to wish I'd been named Claire," she says. Do you like your name? Do you feel it suits you? Not especially. I think it lacks gravitas and sounds eternally girlish. I wish I'd been named Margaret or Elizabeth ... names that come with a variety of diminutives.

4) In 2000, the year this week's song was on the charts, AOL merged with media giant Time Warner. In 2022 it was estimated 70% of us check our personal (not business) email daily. That's down from 74% in 2020. How often do you check your email? Several times a day. More often than I check my texts. When I'm home, my cell is either charging on the kitchen counter or languishing in my purse, while my laptop is always out and usually on.

5) "Thank You" is this week's song because November 28 was Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for this year? The gift of optimism. This has been a painful year for me and the losses weigh heavily, but I'm grateful that I have the God-given capacity to face forward and find joy in every day.

6) At the first Thanksgiving, there were no forks. Pilgrims ate with spoons and knives. How many forks were at your Thursday place setting? Two. One for the meal and one for dessert. Of course, that's because we were at a restaurant. At home, I don't do the multiple fork thing.

7) It's estimated that nearly 50 million pumpkin pies are baked for Thanksgiving. Was it on your Thursday menu? Not pumpkin pie. But the wonderful people at Eli's created a pumpkin praline cheesecake for the season.

You can order Eli's for yourself here

8) A recent poll revealed that we are a divided country, with cranberry sauce being named both most and least favorite Thanksgiving side dish. Where are you on this controversy? I give it a thumbs up.

9) The day after Thanksgiving is known as Black Friday, the unofficial start of the holiday shopping season and sales. Walmart, Best Buy and Target all advertise heavily on Black Friday. If you could have a $100 gift card from one of those stores, which would you choose? What would you buy? Normally I would say Target, because it's my grocery store and well, more than a week's worth of free food would be nice. However Best Buy sells cordless stick vacuums and, with two cats, I find these light and quiet appliances life changing. (I scored a Black and Decker at kohls.com and between the sales price and a credit cardholder discount, it was just $98.99. Yay, me!)

I can't wait for it to arrive