Think back to 2005. There was a moment on the show Grey's Anatomy where Christina refers to Meredith Grey as "her person" and adds, "If I murdered someone, she is the one I'd call to help drag the corpse across the living room floor." They were besties.
Back in 2005, I was swimming in besties. I had my best friend, who was my work husband, with whom I never ran out of things to discuss. I had my oldest friend, my Kindergarten classmate, who shared so much of my history and could always, always make me laugh. There was John, my opposite number in so many ways, who broadened my horizons and made every Friday night an adventure. There was Henry, who only saw the good in me and loved me so.
My best friend moved. My oldest friend is battling emotional/physical issues that make her unavailable. John and Henry both died in 2024. Each of these losses has left a hole in my heart.
I have gone from lots of besties to no besties.
I am lucky in that I am only alone when I want to be. I just got a text from Nancy saying she and her husband miss me and they want to meet for lunch. Joanna sent me a chatty email because at movie group we didn't have enough one-on-one time together to share everything she had to say to me. Elaine saw that Norman Rockwell's Chicago Cubs in the Dugout is now here at The Art Institute and wants to see it with me. Mindy invited me along to see Bruce Springsteen at the United Center in April.*
But none of them are my besties. I can't imagine calling any of them to help me drag that pesky corpse across the living room floor.
So in 2026 my life is not the life I had in 2005. It's not the life I miss. But it's the life I have. I have people who care about me, I'm reasonably healthy, financially comfortable, and my adorable cats are right here looking for cuddles. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself, find joy where I can and face forward.
*Can't go because of the TCM Film Festival. Yes, my life is pretty neat. I know that.