Saturday, April 28, 2007

Ah, Gracie …

This blog has been entirely too serious today, so I shall end the day's entries with a dose of lust.

Mark Grace was the color commentator for Fox's pre-post-game coverage of the Cards and Cubs. Sigh. I still love him.

Oh, he looks older and more staid than he did during his Cubbie heyday. But I don't judge. After all, I look more like a fat pigeon today than I did during his Cubbie heyday.

He's not as deft a broadcaster as he was a first baseman. He kept turning to confirm which camera had the light on. But so what? He's still my beloved Gracie.

What did surprise me was his enthusiasm for Sammy Sosa's hot streak, and his endorsement for Sammy's induction into the Hall of the Fame. When did he come around? It wasn't that long ago that he was making corked bat and steroid jokes at Sammy's expense.

The "Moral Leader" Question

It didn't bother me that John Edwards took about 20 seconds to answer the question about his "moral leader" in Thursday night's debate. After giving it thought, Edwards answered that he didn't have just one moral leader, that he looked to his Lord, his wife Elizabeth, and his father.

I've considered it, too, and my answer would be my Lord, my mom, and his wife Elizabeth.

I cannot overstate the impact her book Saving Graces had on me. Searingly, scorchingly honest about her agony after the death of her son, Elizabeth Edwards generously shared what she learned -- that we need one another, and we should graciously offer and accept support and strength from those around us.

I read her book over the holidays, before her cancer returned but just in time for me to deal with a family crisis. I'm one of those women who is used to being "the strong one." This past January I was confronted with a situation that taxed my strength.

My uncle's wife died. Her death in and of itself didn't disturb me because, to be honest, I never really liked her. But my uncle has Parkinson's Disease, and because of his advanced symptoms, the wake was going to be exceptionally difficult for him. He's a proud man and since I love him, my place was with him, offering support to him and my mom.

However, the relative who molested me when I was a girl would be there. too. A pillar of the church, he's always front and center at these things. Even though he must be 80 by now, he still takes every inappropriate opportunity to make me skin-crawlingly uncomfortable about what he did -- and got away with.

My oldest friend knew how expensive this would be for me. She said she was coming with me and sticking by my side. "He'll have to get past me to talk to you." My first response was, "No, that's OK. You don't have to." She reiterated the offer and I thought, Why not? Why not accept "solace and strength" (Mrs. Edwards' phrase) from someone I've known since Kindergarten, someone I've supported countless times? So she accompanied me. I was able to hug all who needed hugging, stand by all who needed someone to lean on, and the moment my molester appeared, slip out the side door with some excuse about my friend's family obligations.

I was so grateful my oldest friend was there for me. She literally made it bearable. It also made her happy to reverse our roles a bit, and to show respect to my mother and uncle, two people who played a role in her growing up, as well as mine. It hadn't occurred to me might be empowering for her.

That's what I learned from the wise and gracious and giving Elizabeth Edwards: that we strengthen our connections to those around us by receiving as well as by giving.

I don't know why this particular book touched me so deeply, but I'm grateful it came into my life when it did.

The image this week that stays with me …

Last Saturday morning I took a grocery bag filled non-perishables and personal care items (OK, bars of soap) to the local food pantry. I timed my trip intentionally because I have learned that in the weeks leading up to a holiday like Easter, people are very generous. And then, right after the holiday, the pantry shelves are empty and slow to fill again.

Anyway, as I was dropping off, I noticed the parking lot was filled with the cars of the neighbors who were picking up their free groceries. Maybe it's because Earth Day has made me sensitive to these things, but I never noticed so many cars before.

My community offers extensive, affordable public transportation. Everything is centrally located, too. I haven't driven since Ronald Reagan was president, and it hasn't been an inconvenience.

So why were all these people DRIVING to the food pantry? Why don't they walk or take the bus or share rides? Gas is so expensive these days! If a household is so strapped that they are getting their groceries from the food pantry, wouldn't their paychecks go a little further if they drove a little less? (And let's not forget how good it is for all of us to shrink our carbon footprints a bit.)

I think long-time drivers look upon their cars the way old cowboys looked at their horses. I guess it's simply inconceivable that they would leave the house without their wheels. But it's such a waste of their money and resources! If I get the chance tomorrow, I'll mention this to my minister (he's one of the food pantry organizers). Maybe the pantry itself can begin encouraging walking or car-pooling …