If only I knew then ...

Just got done watching the end of Disney's The Kid (2000). In this movie, Bruce Willis spends his 40th birthday with his 8 year old self. (It has something to do with a full moon and … oh, hell, how he and his 8 year old self can be in the same place at the same time isn't really important just now.)

The sweetest thing about this movie is watching the adult hug, advise and comfort the child. School bullies, a distant father, a 3-legged dog and a tragedy that shattered the boy also left the man with an annoying tic and some less visible emotional scars. By going through it all again, but this time with the support of an adult who not only knows exactly how it feels, but who also knows this agony will pass, helps heal their future.

So naturally it got me wondering: how would I help myself? What would Today's Adult Gal tell Yesterday's Little Girl? What would we talk about if I got into the Wayback Machine and met up with my younger self, in the mid 1960s?

Your dad makes everyone unhappy because he's so unhappy himself. It's not you! He's not just mad at you, he's mad at every single thing in his whole life. Unfortunately it's only going to get worse between the two of you. But don't avoid him -- watch him. He's teaching you what not to be as an adult. He judges himself by how much money, how much stuff he has, instead of measuring his self-worth by the people in his life.

Your uncle will come home. He's in the jungles of Viet Nam and watching the news scares you. You're afraid he will be shot or burned, but he won't be. When he finally comes home, he will give you a little teal bracelet that he bought when he was on leave in Saigon. You're gonna love that bracelet and will hang on to it for decades to come.

Treasure every moment with Grandpa. He loves you very much and has so much to teach you. Yes, he can seem a little corny at times. But when you look back on your time with him -- which will be all-too brief -- that old-fashioned silliness is one of the things you will remember and love the most. And his voice and how he smells of cigars when he hugs you.


Don't worry so much about Tommy! He won't get out again! It just happened that once and you caught him before he even got to the gate. Please relax about your big white tomcat. Yes, you love him more than anything, but Mom knows how to take care of him and he's going to live a very long, very happy life.

Your older sister is a bitch, always will be. It's too bad that you two will never be close. But that's OK. You know that curly-haired girl who just moved in across the alley? She's going to end up being your friend for life, and more of a sister to you than your sister ever could be.

Don't pin your hopes on the 1969 World Series! I can't bear to tell you what's going to happen because it's going to break your heart.

Another meme about ME!

Welll... Mo wants to know more about me, so she tagged me with this "About Me" Meme;

What were you doing 10 years ago?

In 1997 I was having something of a mid-life crisis. I was much worse about the prospect of turning 40 than I am now about 50 and took up with a much younger guy. 12 years younger. I couldn't believe he was interested in me, but he was, and it was fun. My friends were aghast because I knew there was no future in it, at least by conventional standards. I knew I was never going to marry him, have babies and live in a vine-covered cottage. But it was terrific for my ego and while I wasn't "in love" with him we were good friends as well as bed partners. And he custom built my bookcases for me! So in all it was good experience and I remember him fondly. I hope he can say the same about me.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

A year ago I was not at all happy with this job and I missed my best friend terribly. He had just been laid off and was moving his family back to Colorado, so I thought I'd never see him again. Funny how things work out, though. This agency got me a new boss and he's made all the difference in terms of my attitude toward work. And my best friend and I both have put a lot of effort into being in touch and staying in touch across the miles. So I guess this story ends with all of us living happily ever after!

Five snacks you enjoy:

~ Those crappy Hostess chocolate cupcakes with the white swirl of frosting on top
~ Sno-Caps, but only at the movies
~ Bowl of cold cereal (Post Great Grains, either with milk or from the box)
~ Fritos, the originals only
~ Peanuts

Five songs that you know all the lyrics:

~ "Hey, Hey, Holy Mackarel, No Doubt about It!" This radio theme song opened every WGN Cubs broadcast when I was a girl
~ "American Pie" The long version
~ "I Will" My favorite Paul McCartney song; it's on the White Album
~ "Julie, Do Ya Love Me?" by Bobby Sherman, the 1970s answer to Sanjaya
~ "The National Anthem" even though I don't sing it -- even at ballgames -- and only move my lips

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:


Some of these are much like Ms. Mo's

~ Pay off my condo
~ Get all those home improvements done!
~ Eliminate my debts
~ Give my mother the world's most valuable Albertson's Gift Card so she will never again have to watch her pennies at the grocery store
~ New underwear all the time! Whenever there's even the slightest sign of stain or wear, into the trash those panties would go!
~ Sponsor more "foster" pets, like the ones I have at North Shore Animal League and Harmony House for Cats

Five bad habits:

~ Laziness
~ No discipline when it comes to domestic chores
~ Being too bossy/demanding at work
~ Blurting (I really must think before I speak)
~ Fixating, obsessing, awfulizing, etc.


Five things you like doing:

~ Reading
~ Watching the Cubs
~ Going to the movies
~ Gabbing on the phone/emailing/staying in touch
~ Soaking in the tub

Five things you would never wear again:

~ Three shades of blue eyeshadow all at once (lid, crease, brow)
~ Anything in a neon green
~ Long sweater and leggings (a la Pat Benatar)
~ Enormous hoop earrings
~ Bowling shirts

Five favorite toys:

~ Facial masks (clay, pore reducing, exfoliating, etc.)
~ iPod
~ Purses and more purses
~ My Shout! Color Catcher laundry sheets (yes, I am that geeky; I always check to see if it's "caught" any loose-floating dye)
~ Pogo games


And Now for the important stuff...

INSTRUCTIONS:
Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:

- Pieces of Me
- The blog. Yep, the blog
- Dog's Eye View
- Inside Mo's Mind
- One Gal's Musings

I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND! It occurs to me that some of these memes are getting very chick-centric, so I hereby tag NICHOLAS and SPARKY DUCK!

Another word about tipping

I don't usually delete comments on my blog because most people make positive contributions to the discourse. One of the comments on my TT could be interpreted as insensitive to those who work in the service industry, so it's gone.

It's important to remember that most folks who work in the service industry pay income tax based on receiving tips. So if a customer is cheap or mean or ignorant and refuses to tip for good service, the worker is actually losing money.

Let's take a good look at who these people are. (This information is from the 2000 Census, so it's more than 5 years old.)

90% of hairstylists and cosmetologists (mani/pedi) are female, avg. salary $16,172

74% of restaurant, lounge and coffee shop servers are female, avg. salary $14,612

87% of maids and housekeeping staff are female, avg. salary $13,832

These people -- many of whom are working mothers -- are struggling to make ends meet. They do honest and very hard work. The way our system is set up, they depend on your tips.

If tipping offends you, your issue is with the custom and not with the person delivering the service. I agree that tipping can be confusing (hence my TT) and a pain in the ass. It would be nice if managers/owners in the hospitality industry paid their workers more in salary, or perhaps if their unions were stronger advocates, so tips wouldn't be vital.

Naturally, anyone who receives bad service (and of course it happens) shouldn't tip. But don't just dismiss/demean tipping. It's essential to those who work to serve us.

Of course we all have a right to our opinions. But since this is One Gal's Musings and I am The Gal Herself, I get the last word.