Thursday Thirteen #111 -- How Did You Know?

THIRTEEN THINGS
YOU CAN TELL
ABOUT ME BY
LOOKING AROUND MY OFFICE

I love that early scene in just about every Law & Order episode -- the one where the detectives go through the victim's home or office to find out about her life. Here are thirteen things Benson and Stabler would learn about me from my offfice.

1) I'm a Beatle fan. The big A Hard Day's Night poster is a good clue. I also have a "fab flashback" on my bulletin board: the boys splashing in the surf during their 1964 visit to Florida. Then there's the bumper sticker: Still Pissed at Yoko.

2) The Cute One is my favorite. On display you'll find a Paul pin, keychain, photo (silhouette of him holding his bass over and his head) and a full-page newspaper ad from 2006, honoring him for his Best Album Grammy nomination. I love the headline, "Perhaps no artist on earth has more reason to look back, yet never does."

3) I'm a loyal Cub fan. You'll be tipped off by my Cubs screen saver, the Wrigley Field snowglobe on my desk, and the Soriano bobblehead on my bookcase.

4) My beloved future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux is my favorite ballplayer. I have two photos of him as a Cub on my bulletin board, as well as my ticket stub for July 26, 2005, when I was there to see him make history by getting his 3000 strikeout.

5) I'm a doting aunt. In addition to framed school pictures of my niece and nephew, I have his original artwork -- a painting of flowers -- on display. (I can't tell which way is up on his painting, but he displays a good eye for color nonetheless.)

6) I must know the date! I have two calendars -- one on my wall (a fundraiser for The Tree House) and a day-at-time movie trivia calendar on my desk. (Today's trivia question: What movie involves bank robbers, Bolivia and Etta Place?)

7) I'm sloppy. Most of my desk is covered with paper. Just like most of my home is covered with paper. Someday I MUST get organized!

8) I work out at lunchtime. Nike gym bag over there in the corner.

9) I'm right handed. The mouse on the right of my laptop gives it away.

10) I obsess. Hence the sticker on my desklamp that says, "I will not obsess. I will not obsess. I will not obsess."

11) My blood pressure is 118/78 and my pulse is 68 beats per minute. My ticket from Lifesource, the one that says I have "acceptable physical findings" for donating blood, is right here next to my computer.

12) I care about the environment. At least I care enough to toss my paper garbage into the blue recycling bin at my feet.

13) I change my mind a lot. One look at my desk and you'll see I prefer pencils to pens, and that my pencils almost all have worn-away erasers. That's why there's a fabulous elephant grey eraser always at the ready.

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No offense, but you all annoy me

This week is proving to be slow, work wise. This makes me a little antsy. (Recession? Joblessness? Hel-lo!) However my two art directors handle the respite from work differently than I do. As evidenced just now as we responded to a client request for a revision.

One is a very nice and conscientious man, so when we're slow like this, he questions everything. Over and over. He wants to get it right. He wants to take this opportunity to learn the reasons why the client requests these revisions. All very laudable.

Except that it makes a 30-second conversation about the project take 20 minutes.

All the client wants us to do is make one specific legal disclosure on the back of the brochure one point size bigger. It's not a big deal. You have no idea how not a big deal this is. Since I thought just one disclosure being bigger than the others on the same page would look dorky, and since making them all bigger would be easier, I asked him to make all the disclosures bigger.

His response: Why? Why must the 123 disclosure be bigger? Can we get away with making just the 123 disclosure bigger? Why? WHY?

My thought bubble: Dear Lord, shoot me now.

However my response is to ask the other art director, who sits beside him in their art director bullpen, how it would look with just the 123 disclosure bigger. After all, she has more experience with these brochures and disclosures than he does. But it was a mistake to draw her into this. You see, having extra time on her hands doesn't make her more conscientious, like him, or more agitated, like me. She really enjoys it.

So her response to me was, "I don't know."

My thought bubble: How can you not know? You've been doing this very think for more than four fucking years here! Close your email, quit watching Hulu and help us!

My verbal response: Oh, I guess it doesn't really matter because we're making all the disclosures one point size bigger. Thanks anyway!

Revealing myself as the impatient, frustrated bitch I am would not be helpful. Still, I wonder if my chipper demeanor looks as fake as it feels ...

Class & sensitivity from an unexpected source

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin issued a wise and soothing statement Tuesday about the murders of Dr. George Tiller and army recruiter William Long.

"The stories of two very different lives with similar fates crossed through the media's hands yesterday -- both equally important but one lacked the proper attention. The death of 67-year old George Tiller was unacceptable, but equally disgusting was another death that police believe was politically and religiously motivated as well. William Long died yesterday. The 23-year old Army Recruiter was gunned down by a fanatic; another fellow soldier was wounded in the ambush. The soldiers had just completed their basic training and were talking to potential recruits, just as my son, Track, once did. Whatever titles we give these murderers, both deserve our attention. Violence like that is no way to solve a political dispute nor a religious one. And the fanatics on all sides do great disservice when they confuse dissention with rage and death."

Believe me, this is something I never thought I'd say, but thank God for Gov. Palin.