John would have approved

When my mom died, my friend John didn't send a card or attend her funeral service. Instead he did something more lasting. He told me that you never miss your mother more than on your birthday, and since Thanksgiving and my birthday always fall close together, he predicted that holiday would be especially hard for me. From that moment on, he said, we would always spend Thanksgiving together. Him and me and his oldest friend Gregory, who I also know and like. Gregory had also lost his parents by this point, so John christened our celebration Orphan's Thanksgiving.

We never cooked. It was always at a nice eatery with a prix fixe menu -- always turkey. No short ribs or lasagna for us. And I had to dress up! John said he was sick of seeing me in Cubs t-shirts. Sometimes it was more than just the three of us. If you were an orphan, you were welcome. One year I remember Kurt joined us. He'd just lost his partner of many years and was still grieving. Kurt was off to Hawaii for Christmas, feeling a change of scene would help him heal. But he'd forgotten Thanksgiving. What to do on Thanksgiving. John to the rescue!

John died this past spring. The last time he, Gregory and I were healthy and happy together was Thanksgiving 2023. I wasn't sure Gregory would want to continue our tradition but he did! I was relieved and happy ... and a little afraid it would be sad that it would be just the two of us.

Only it wasn't. 

Early in the week, Will from my movie group asked if I had plans for Thanksgiving. His sister and cousins live in Long Island and he's going there for Christmas but he can't afford to fly out twice in a month's time. The neighbor he has been spending Thanksgiving with has Parkinson's and went into assisted living.

Before I invited him to join us, I checked with Gregory and got a thumbs up. After all, Will meets the criteria: he's an orphan. So there would be three after all.

I was a little nervous about it. Gregory and Will never met. Gregory can be nervous and shy with new people. What I didn't know is that Will is nervous with new people, too, but compensates by getting VERY blabby. So it worked out nicely. Will talked and Gregory was an attentive audience. I was especially happy at the end of the night when I saw them exchanging their contact information. Gregory is 71 now but in good shape but bored, and Will is going to try to get him a part-time job.

I feel like the evening unfolded just as John would have wanted it to. 

Photo by Enis Yavuz on Unsplash