Greetings from the other side

I believe that my depression is behind me. I know it's not a coincidence that it passed as soon as my period began.

It was awful. I felt isolated, misunderstood and completely unloved. My life was meaningless. I was fat and ugly and would never have sex again. I felt I was always on the verge of tears -- and trust me, I'm no crier.

I have spoken to both my shrink and my GP about this. I think it helps that they are both women and older than I am, so they have already traveled down this Hormone Highway themselves. As my mood darkens, I'm supposed to remind myself this isn't real … it's not my fault … it's hormones. I should carry my Xanax in my purse and remember, it's OK to pop one if I feel "the fury of the broken thunder come to match my raging soul."* My two doctors conferred on what meds to prescribe, and I have to remember that 3 Xanax pills a month won't make me dependent or turn me into Courtney Love. It will just alleviate my suffering.

In addition to Xanax and realistic self-talk, I worked out, avoided sad songs and stressful situations, and reminded myself that as long as I have my doctors and God looking out for me, I'll eventually be fine.

But don't ever let anyone tell you depression isn't serious. That hormones aren't powerful. That you can dismiss someone else's pain with, "It's all in your head." I've come out the other side and I can tell you truly, depression is all-encompassing and MISERABLE.

*From Laura Nyro's 70s classic, "Stoney End." Barbra Streisand's rendition of it sums up how I felt exactly.

Thursday Thirteen #70 -- About legs

THIRTEEN FACTS ABOUT LEGS

Yes, legs. I've been thinking about them a lot lately …

• The Cubs Alfonso Soriano has been steadily recovering from a calf injury earlier in the season. As both outfielder and lead-off man, speed is important to his performance.

• Now that warm weather is here to stay, legs have come out of hibernation. The good news: few things in life are lovelier than the sight of a toned and healthy man in shorts, pedaling his bike or running. The bad news: I have to remember to shave my legs on a regular basis.

Apparently I'm not the only one with legs on the brain. I liberated these 13 facts from the May issue of Allure (the one with Hillary Duff on the cover):

1) In Victorian England, the sight of a woman's ankles was considered pornographic.

2) In 1939, actress Betty Grable's famous legs were insured for $1,000,000 by Lloyd's of London.

3) There are 36 dancers -- and, therefore, 72 legs -- in the Radio City Rockette's kickline.

4) Calf augmentation surgery is rising in popularity. 49% more procedures were performed in 2006 than in 2005.

5) Coco Chanel wore trousers very publicly in Venice because they made it easier for her to climb in and out of a gondola. This act of practicality sparked the slacks trend that continues today.

6) Katharine Hepburn is also frequently credited with making pants acceptable for women.

7) In 1964, miniskirts were introduced on fashion runways.

8) In 1971, Hanes introduced the L'eggs Egg.

9) A university study in Poland revealed that both men and women prefer long-legged mates.

10) 45% of women say they cross their legs almost every time they sit.

11) 70% of men believe a woman looks sexy when she crosses her legs.

12) The second most common place for a woman to have a tattoo is the ankle (#1 is the back).

13) 30% of women believe cellulite is their main leg flaw. (I agree with that.)

Leave your link in the comments and I'll include you here:
1) Malcolm (who got here FIRST!) has photos of some of the prettiest pretty boys you'll ever see
2) Pussreboots focuses on detective book covers
3) Mamapajama relives this last AI with us
4) Hootin' Ani shares a multimedia tale of woe
5) Tink will introduce you to your very own goddess (mine is feline, naturally)
6) Find out more about Sue with this T/F TT
7) Pjazzypar tosses a spotlight on thirteen women immortalized in song
8) See how many activities Chelle squeezed into her week
9) SJR's link won't open for me! Like the Magic 8 Ball recommends, I'll try again later.
10) Cheerio celebrates summer with photos of the world's largest pool
11) Claudia has 13 items on her "Bucket List"
12) Buck Naked takes us to the zoo
13) Sandy concentrates on Lao-Tzu
14) Wylie shows us what happens to a book AFTER the writing is done
15) Lost Hemisphere takes a closer look at the kids
16) Adelle's TT is beautiful in black and white
17) If Lori ruled the world, here are 13 things we'd never have to deal with again!
18) Random Ramblings takes us back to 1972
19) Alison spills the beans about Alison
20) B Boys Mom shares 13 quotes
21) Kay takes a look at leadership
22) Lucy whets our appetite for pasta
23) Winter rhapsodizes about her favorite un-undead
24) Marcia's TT is most comforting
25) Peter Plum provides bloggers with 13 excuses
26) Surfer Girl shares some literary memories from childhood
27) Lori has an ambitious summer to-do list
28) Chris introduces us to blogs we might not see otherwise

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants



Both my teams won yesterday!

Let's hope they can both maintain their winning ways through Autumn!

Wishing you were here

Friday is the 40th anniversary of Robert Kennedy's death, all the more poignant because it was last night (just days shy of that sad anniversary) that Barack Obama became the presumptive nominee of the Democratic Party … the first African-American to come so close to the office Bobby died seeking.

If Bobby had lived to be a white-haired 80-something elder statesman, last night he'd have been very proud of us as a country, the Democrats as a party, and Barack Obama as an orator. A shy man, he was nevertheless a very compelling public speaker who never spoke down to his audiences. On the night Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated, it was Bobby who informed the Indianapolis crowd of the tragedy, saying:

"What we need in the United States is not division; what we need in the United States is not hatred; what we need in the United States is not violence or lawlessness; but love and wisdom, and compassion toward one another, and a feeling of justice toward those who still suffer within our country, whether they be white or they be black."

I believe in Heaven so I believe that somehow he did see Barack Obama deliver that speech last night.

Oh, Good! I Still Can Blame Bartman!

Richard Nixon and Steve Bartman. Those two have been enduring scapegoats for anything that ever has or ever will go wrong. Therefore it was with some regret that I read recently that Moises Alou let Bartman off the hook for infamously interfering with that play in the 2003 series with Marlins, breaking my heart and ruining my life.

Ah, but on this rainy, gloomy day -- with my hair curling every which way, with my feelings of isolation escalating -- I got good news:

Report: Alou says he would have caught Bartman ball

Yes, according to ESPN, I can go back to blaming Bartman!

Serious and stupid, all at once

Hi, I'm a Hormone Hostage. My good mood turned dark this afternoon at about 4:00, and now, hours later, it's no better.

I know it's PMS. I know it's not "real." I know it will pass.

But I miss my best friend. I want to talk to him soooo much. Where are the Cubs? I want the baseball game to start NOW, not two hours from now. Why must they be in San Diego, playing a late night game when I need them to distract and entertain me NOW?

This is depression. It hurts. I hate it. I just want to take a nap … to sleep until this sad, sad feeling goes away. But I must remember, it WILL go away.

My village police officers must have the patience of saints

Recently one of my neighbors with too much time on his hands demanded to know why that beat-up car was parked in my space. I tried to be polite to Walt, as he is a senior citizen and deserves deference, and refrained some saying, "None of your freaking business." I explained that Brian on the 3rd floor rents my parking space, that he has paid in full and in advance, so if there's a car in that space -- beat up or not -- that didn't belong there, I was sure Brian would have done something about it.

Walt insisted he would "get to the bottom of this."

I hid from Walt and avoided him like the plague because I felt this was a matter between me (the owner of the spot) and Brian (the renter of the spot). And if Brian and I are OK with the situation, why should anyone else care? Also, when I checked out the damage to the red car, I got angry. It was smooshed on the driver's side. At no point did Walt express any concern that Brian, our neighbor, might be injured!

Yesterday, whilst folding my bathtowels in our community laundry room, Brian mentioned that Walt really was quite the busy body. Seems the old boy called our local police department to inquire whether the car in my spot was stolen! Walt had the unmitigated chutzpah to tell Brian that he was relieved when the cops assured him it wasn't.

Now since the car had no plates, how could the police possibly know anything about it or its history? My guess is that they told Walt they checked it, but never did. At least I hope that's what happened. As a tax payer (and owner of that parking space), I sincerely hope they have better things to do!

I wonder what other silly errands citizens send them on …

I am happy

On this bright, but not too hot Sunday, I am taking a moment to acknowledge all I am grateful for at this very moment:

1) The Cubs. I love them. I have always loved them. I always will love them. (Kerry Wood is pitching as I begin this post. I love him particularly if not exclusively.) They bring me joy and break my heart and give me a sense of continuity and community. I feel sorry for people who don't have a similar passion that can lift them from their day-to-day lives.

2) My independence. After watching what my friend Kathy has been struggling with, and the toll it's taking on her, I am pleased and proud and grateful that I can make my bills each month and have a reserve.

3) My health. Oh, time is taking its toll on this ol' Gal. I do not deny that. Scratches and bruises don't heal as quickly as they used to. Pounds don't come off as easily they used to. Let's not forget the high cholesterol and allergies. But after hearing the hospital tales of my mom and my former boss, I realize I'm lucky to have such run-of-the-mill maladies.

4) My cats. Healthy, happy and as individual as snowflakes, they are so cool and I love them so.

5) My friends. A diverse crew, for sure. But mine own. And I realize I'm stronger for knowing them. Especially during the difficult month of May.

Laundry. No, I'm not happy to have loads of wash ahead of me. I'm just psyching myself up for it.

About that battered donkey on the day after

"Republicans fall in line. Democrats fall in love." Chris Matthews

"I am not the member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat." Will Rogers

Back in the winter, back before a single vote was cast, the DNC announced that Michigan and Florida would be stripped of their delegates if they went ahead with their renegade primaries. I live in Illinois, and I heard that announcement. I was also aware that Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John Edwards (he was still a factor) all supported this DNC ruling and agreed not to campaign in these states.

How was this Chicago Gal so well-informed about her party's politics? No, Commissioner Gordon didn't call me personally on a bright red phone. I read the paper and watched TV. I saw it in Newsweek and Time.

If I knew about all this before a single vote was cast, certainly the voters of Michigan and Florida had access to this same information. It undoubtedly received even more coverage in their local media. So here's why I'm confused:

1) If the good Dems in Michigan and Florida were all in favor of voting early in violation of DNC rules, and knew their votes effectively wouldn't count, but felt their rebellion was worth it, why are they upset now?

2) Or, if the good Dems in Michigan and Florida were NOT in favor of voting early in violation of DNC rules BECAUSE they knew they their votes wouldn't count, why didn't they do something back in 2007?

Here in Illinois, I know who my party's powerbrokers are. (Sometimes because they are being investigated by Patrick Fitzgerald, but that's another post for another time.) If I knew I was losing my role in the nominating process entirely, and I cared, I would have contacted Mayor Daley and Danny Davis and John Madigan and my senators … Dixon and what's his name? Oh yeah, Obama. And, while I was at it, I would have contacted Clinton and Edwards. (Trust me -- as a campaign worker and contributor to Senator John Kerry's 2004 campaign, they were contacting ME all the time.)

If the electorate doesn't read the papers, doesn't watch TV, doesn't read news magazines, and doesn't get involved, that's their choice. Ignoring what your representatives are doing on your behalf comes at a price. Pay it.

If the electorate does know that their rebellion will have negative ramifications and proceeds with it anyway, that's their choice. Civil disobedience has always come with penalties. Accept them.

So what happened yesterday seems entirely fair to me. More than fair, in fact, because the voters in Michigan and Florida are receiving greater representation than they were promised at the beginning of this process. But I'm happy about that, because Michigan especially can be a very blue state and I want Barack Obama to win in November.

In all, this messy process makes me glad to be a Democrat. It was televised in all it's noisy
glory. Our inner workings were on display, and that's always a good thing.

Yesterday told me a great deal about our candidates. One was willing to live with the ramifications of his agreement regarding these states. One chose to don her Norma Rae facade and fight the consequences of what she agreed to.

The candidate I find most interesting is John Edwards. No, not because of the shiny hair and blue eyes that are set off so nicely when he wears blue ties. Fortunately he didn't appear anywhere yesterday to distract me from the subject at hand with his physicality.

John Edwards had the greatest claim to those "hardworking white Americans" (a phrase Hillary coined that I hate) that the NY Senator won over after he dropped out. If he had stayed in, kept campaigning, I have no doubt many of those good ol' boys would have stayed with the millworkers son, siphoning votes from Hillary. Edwards would never have had enough votes to WIN, but he could have/would have accumulated enough delegates to remain a player all the way to convention in Denver.

Instead, he dropped out. Putting the interests of the party ahead of his own ambition (and no one has ever accused John Edwards of NOT being ambitious). He hoped that by suspending his campaign, the nominating process would go more smoothly, less divisively.

Alas, it didn't work out that way.

She gets me every time

I was channel surfing just now and came upon Olive Hoover as she prepares to do her big "Super Freak" number in the Little Miss Sunshine pageant.

I adore this little girl. Abigail Breslin is so natural and sincere and reminds me bit of my favorite niece when she was that age. In her every scene, she nearly breaks my heart. Same in Definitely … Maybe.

I wish she could be in every movie.

Unconscious Mutterings #23

I haven't muttered in ages! But tonight I'm jumping back in …

I say ... and you think ... ?

Gossipping :: Good clean fun
Misplaced :: Loyalty
Spaceship :: Jefferson
Ignore :: Look the other way
Bodily :: Function
Tweezers :: Tweezerman (my favorite brand)
Goodnight :: Tonight (An old Paul McCartney song)
Curls :: WavesFaucet :: Sink
Right :: Left

For more information, or to play along yourself, click here.

Admitting a problem is the first step to solving it

I am such a geek! I'm actually watching the DNC Rules Committee discuss the Michigan and Florida mess!

I started feeling better a little before noon, grabbed my headphones and listened to the Cubs game (we won, naturally) as I ran errands and got my 10,000 steps in.

But I'm home now. Perfectly content to stay on the couch and enjoy the opportunity to peer behind the curtain and see how my party really operates. A beer would make this Saturday pretty damn perfect. I've partied enough this week. I'm happy to indulge my powerful inner geek.

Go, Cubs, Go!

"Hey, Chicago, what do you say? Cubs are gonna win today!"

And, while we're within the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field, we do. We win in routs, we win in extra-inning squeakers, and yesterday, we came from behind to win. At one point my Boys in Blue were down 9-1, and yet, how does that final box score read?

CUBS WIN 10-9!

Too make it even more fabulously cool, among the hitting heroes were Edmonds, Blanco and Hoffpauir (who?). As Lou told it, ''What can I say? We took a few guys out to rest, and the replacements kept battling. I got excited on the bench … it was the loudest I've heard this place. It was almost deafening. It was our day.''

"Our day?" Hell, Lou! Why can't it be OUR YEAR?

Well, that was sure humbling

As I left the matinee of Sex and the City I slipped into yesterday -- taking advantage of the first Friday afternoon off that my agency gives us each summer -- I was feeling very positive about my life.

Yeah, I'm fat. And no, I can't spend money redecorating my home (no matter how much it needs it) while my job appears precarious.

But I was productive this week, getting what I'm confident will be well-received work done for my client. Went to the theater and saw a silly but delightfully dirty musical, Avenue Q. Before the show, we dined at a popular theater district menu and enjoyed a delicious meal off the prix fixe menu (I had steak diane, a martini and a sinful chocolate confection for dessert). The next night, I went to the movies and thoroughly enjoyed beer and a pork sandwich for less than $15 (with tip). I thought about the yin and yang of entertainment and dining available to me in Chicago, and how lucky I am to have friends to enjoy it all with.

Then at about 2:00 AM this morning … and that heavy meat and booze caught up with me because … well, let's just say my overnight hours were unpleasant. As if that wasn't uncool enough, as I was looking for Immodium AD in my medicine chest, I came upon a forlorn, unopened box of condoms that were (sniffle, snob) PAST THE EXPIRATION DATE!

Yes, I feel very sexy this morning.

Loved it, loved it, LOVED IT!

Sex and the City, of course. At more than 2 hours, it's a little long … and Stanford was given so little to do it was almost distracting to have him in the movie at all. But I love these characters and their stories so, it was great to see them again and in new situations.

The movie completely understands its own appeal. It's a celebration of romance and friendship. The romance of city life … the romance of self-actualization and an idealistic belief in life's possibilities … the romance of, well, love and finding The One. While my friends and I will never be as wealthy, nor as well-dressed, nor as well-laid as this quartet, we will always be there for one another. That friendship can motivate us to be better, kinder and more forgiving is a true and powerful idea, and one we don't see onscreen very often.

I would have guessed Miranda

Who's Your Sex and the City Match?

My Result: Carrie

Smart, driven, and the kind of girl that could be the star of any show, it's no surprise you lead the pack. Whether trying out a new hairstyle or mixing and matching your wardrobe, with a look and a lifestyle all your own, you're sure to inspire those around you. You're honest about what you want out of life — even when all you really want is the latest Balenciaga bag or a corner table in a hot new restaurant.

But your playful exterior doesn't fool everyone — deep inside you've got a lot on your mind and it shows. Standing by your friends, working hard, and always staying a step ahead (while, of course, doing it in Manolo Blahniks), isn't exactly easy. So now that everything else is in place, we couldn't help but wonder — is your next great romance right around the corner?

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=sexandthecityogt&c=50652

Sad in the City

I was sooo happy yesterday! At a few minutes before 5:00, a former coworker of mine (she's now at another agency) called and told me she scored a pair of free passes to the sneak preview of Sex and the City. Did I want to join her? Yes, yes, yes, and yes!

We had dinner and shared a pitcher of beer and gossiped a while, then I started looking about for our server so we could settle the check. The movie started at 8:00 and I wanted to be line by 7:00. I've been to many a free sneak preview at this very theater and know they overbook and that people are often turned away. It even says on the pass that having a ticket doesn't guarantee a seat.

She scoffed, saying that these passes were given to her by a VENDOR THROUGH WORK, whereas my passes were always just a free perk for being an Entertainment Weekly subscriber, so they HAD to be more exclusive. She had one last beer and we wandered over to the theater, in line by 7:30.

We were in the 8:00 show, alright. The 8:00 showing of Ironman. As soon as we got in line, the usher announced that the free sneak preview of Sex and the City was already full. (Sniffle, sniffle.)

Oh well, Ironman was very entertaining. (I have such a crush on Robert Downey, Jr.'s voice) I enjoyed dinner. And my former coworker remains one of the sweetest people ever. Naturally and effortlessly gorgeous, she is always quick to compliment. ("Your natural haircolor is so pretty! Why did you ever color it?") So in all, it was a nice evening.

But I WILL see Sex and the City before the weekend is over. I MUST!

PS As we left the theater last night at a little after 10:00, a group of girls were already in line, tickets in hand, for the midnight show. I believe that makes Sex and the City the chick-flick equivalent of Star Wars.

It's Titled "Survey Addicts Anonymous"

So clearly Kwizgiver meant it for me!

Do you wear slippers? No

How many pictures are in your living room? 5

Do you wear a bra to bed at night? No

Do you ever watch Brady Bunch reruns? I have

Are you allergic to anything? Bee stings, morphine and erythromycin

When was the last time you called in sick? A week ago Friday (I was celebrating Mammogram Day)

Have you ever been in a car accident? No

What is your favorite snack food? It changes. Currently Cheez-It

Do you think you have a big butt? Everyone thinks I have a big butt

Would you like to look like your mom when you are her age? Sure

Have you ever seen a tornado? No

Do you think Barack Obama is sexy? No (It's the ears; besides, I think it would be ooky to be hot for the President)

If you won a million dollars, what would you buy first? Pay off my mortgage

What time is it right now? 4:59

Are you pregnant? No

Have you ever been pregnant? No

Do you like men who wear pink shirts and flip-flops? Together? At once? I'm reserving judgment till I see it

How many pairs of shoes do you own? 11 fewer than before I dropped those bags off Goodwill last Saturday

Do you think you are a hypocondriac? No

Do you own a dictionary? Yes

Where was the last place you went on vacation? Atlanta

Do you talk about your friends behind their back? Yes

Are you actually fat but are in complete denial about it? Yes

What color is your mouse pad? Don't use one

Does your kitchen have a theme? No

Do you like to mow the yard? I don't have a yard

Are you addicted to using Febreze? Addicted? No. Though I am a frequent/chronic user.

What is your ring size? 9

When was the last time you consumed alcohol? Last night

Do you know someone who gets food stamps? I don't think so

Do you have a basement in your home? No

Are you still in love with 1 of your exes? Yes. I don't stop loving people just because we've moved on.

Any big plans for the summer? No

What is your favorite comfort food? Pasta. Cheesey pasta

Do you prefer broccoli or asparagus? Asparagus

What color are your bedroom walls? Blue

Who do you live with? Joey, Charlotte and Rey

Which Star Wars movie is your favorite? I only saw the first one

How about Harry Potter? Never read the books, never saw the movies

What was the last movie you saw in theatres? I'm seeing SATC tonight!

Did you get the popcorn or the candy? Yes

What is the most romantic text in your inbox? I don't have any

Have you ever played miniature golf on a date? Yes

What's a phrase you overuse? Probably includes the word "fuck"

Where do you buy most of your shoes? I am very fair and spread the wealth

Do you always use good grammer? Usually

Do you have an accent or a speach impediment? I speak with broad, nasal a's and lisp slightly

What did you eat today? QP w/cheese

What do you do at work? Sell shit through the mail

Do you know the rules to any sports? Yes

Do you prefer to watch or play sports? Yes

What is your favorite kind of hat to wear? None

Do you pray? Of course

Who do you pray to? Jesus

What is the closest mountain to your house? I don't know

When is the next time you will move? When I'm drooling and ready to be institutionalized

Isn't there something better you could be doing right now? Yes

Is there anything good on TV? Always!

Does your significant other have a myspace? I don't have one

What is your dream marriage proposal? Hmmmm ... coming up blank here

What are your nicknames and who gave them to you? Most recent ones are from my friend, Chad.

How often do you wear jewelery? Daily

What size engine is in your vehicle? I don't have a vehicle

What do you need to do tomorrow? Groceries and/or laundry

Who do you hope never to see again? Like Beetlejuice, I believe it's better not to say his name

Which friend of yours lives the farthest away? My best friend

Thursday Thirteen #69 -- Just in time for summer reading! 13 REALLY popular authors

THIRTEEN OF THE MOST PROLIFIC
WRITERS TO APPEAR
ON THE NY TIMES BEST-SELLER LIST

I love statistics. You can slice them and dice them a million ways until you come up with something new.

Take, for example, the New York Times Best-Seller List.

It exists to tell us which books are being purchased in the biggest numbers. But it can give us more than that. Which book sold the most? Which book sold a lot the longest? Or, as in today's TT, which is …

Authors who have had the most titles on
the New York Times Best-Seller List/Fiction

1. Stephen King (29 different books)

2. Danielle Steel (27)

3. James Patterson (23)

4. John Grishan (17)

5. Mary Higgins Clark (14)
5. Patricia Cornwell (14)

6. Tom Clancy (12)

7. Janet Evanovich (11)

8. Dean R. Koontz (10)

9. James Michener (9)

10. Sue Grafton (8)
10. Sidney Sheldon (8)
10. James Patterson (8)

11. Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins (7)
11. Robert Ludlum (7)
11. Daphne du Maurier (7)
11. John LeCarre (7)
11. J. K. Rowling (7)

12. Nora Roberts (6)

13. Michael Crichton (5)
13. Nicholas Sparks (5)

Thanks to Hawes for doing most of the heavy lifting for me.

Include your link in comments and I'll add you here:
1. Tink has a slideshow of the beautiful figurines in her home
2. Lost Hemisphere shares broken cards that nobody has broken yet
3. Hootin' Ani gives her topical take on the Domino Effect
4. Anthony North explains reality. Really!
5. Malcolm looks at books, too, but the non-fiction variety
6. Sue answers 13 questions
7. Michelle's TT includes a picture of David Cassidy looking dreamy
8. Chelle takes us back to the 1980s
9. Fishingaround has quite the TBR pile!
10. Gypsy Princess has a thrifty TT
11. Sandy shares a prayer
12. Janet's TT has a certain "flair"
13. Shaunesay talks books, too
14. Journeywoman has a movie TT, and I love movie TTs
15. Susan Helene Gottfried anticipates summer
16. Lori helps kickstart our social lives
17. Faith takes us around Fort Worth
18. Claudia's TT is delicious, and smells good, too
19. SJ Reidhead manages our expectations for her TT
20. Alice Audrey tempts us to read Suzie's House
21. Winter confronts evil
22. Gray Matters has done a LOT of work around the house!
23. Maribeth's TT has a decidedly orange cast to it this week
24. B Boys Mom has an ambitious to-do list
25. Adelle gives Canadians their props
26. Marcia's TT is outdoorsy
27. Mo's TT is devoted to "the hounds"
28. Debbie shares 13 quotes

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants



I LOVE IT WHEN I'M WRONG!!!

Kathy (see entry below) DID call the animal shelter after all, and they will board her cats for as long as need be … all in exchange for volunteer work.

Ok, I can be an ass. I admit it. But the important thing is that her cats will be safe and well cared for, and Kathy has the time to think rationally and make the right decision for them long-term.

I'm downright giddy about this happy ending! I have a very difficult time NOT diving in and running the show when critters and kids are involved. We adults choose our paths, but critters and kids are like corks on the water, just bouncing wherever the waves take them. It's up to us to make sure they fare well. Kathy's inaction about her cats' safety and well-being was making me NUTS!

But it was temporary. She did call the shelter using my vet's name, and now all is right in the world.

When life imitates art ... or a classic sitcom rerun

I watched M*A*S*H last night. It was an episode where best friends Hawkeye and BJ got into a fight, said terrible things to and about each other, and ended up just as close as ever before the half hour came to a close. It hit home because it helped me confront and work through my guilt over my anger at my friend Kathy.

I heard from her a great deal this past weekend as I helped her (tried to help her) find a new home for her cats. My frustration mounted and mounted because she asked my advice and then didn't follow it. Her refrain as she works through this awful situation is, "through no fault of my own" and "I know it's not my fault."

Dammit! If it's not her fault, whose fault is it?

This is the fourth career she's tried, and failed at, in the 25 years we've known each other. She's cruising toward her second bankruptcy. She's simply not a businesswoman. My heart goes out to her -- at 61, she must know the rest of her life is not going to be as easy as she'd envisioned. I know the worry and regret must be eating away at her. I understand that it's to be expected that she will become increasingly undone as we approach June 6, the day she loses her apartment and has to move in with her daughter. (A daughter whose home is being foreclosed upon, as well.)

On the other hand, it's normal for me to get angry at her. She hands me a situation, asks me to fix it, and then refuses to listen to me. I spoke my vet, who told me that there's a local animal shelter that helps with hardship cases like Kathy's, providing "foster care" for her cats until she knows for sure where she'll be living. Her cats will be safe and together and in exchange, Kathy has to pay whatever she can -- presumably to reimburse the shelter for food, litter and any necessary medical care, but really to make sure she's serious about wanting them back. My vet even gave Kathy permission to use her name when contacting the animal shelter, even though they've never met. I thought this was very kind of my vet. I told Kathy about this and offered to pay up $300 for her cats myself.

She never called the shelter. Her notes are "scribbles" and hard to read … she keeps hoping her daughter's dog will get used to the cats … Etc., etc., etc. I have warned Kathy that as the weather gets warmer, shelter space becomes more and more precious because puppy/kitten season will be upon us, and she must call the shelter and see if they'll reserve a space. To no avail. And I bet that, around the 4th of July, "through no fault of her own," she will end up giving those cats away to complete strangers because her new apartment won't allow pets and all the shelters will be full up. It feels as though, once again, she's setting herself up for victimhood.

I know pointing this out to her would be cruel, and so I won't. But there's no harm in sharing my anger with my blog. Venting here helps me stay supportive to her when the situation calls for it. And, just like the soldiers of the 4077, my friends and I can clash but still care about each other.

Does he prefer Sir Paul or Dr. Paul?

YALE GIVES PAUL MCCARTNEY AN HONORARY DEGREE

Paul McCartney can now add one more honor to the numerous awards, accolades and the knighthood he has already received. The ex-Beatle on Monday was awarded an honorary Doctor of Music degree from Yale University.

In granting the honorary degree to McCartney — Sir Paul McCartney since he was knighted in 1996 — the university said no one compares with the legendary songwriter.

Yale said the 65-year-old McCartney awakened a generation, giving a fresh sound to rock, roll, rhythm and blues.

A toast to a versatile artist

Sydney Pollack died today, reportedly of stomach cancer. He was 73. I loved his work.

He directed my all-time favorite movie, The Way We Were. His work behind the camera also included big hits like Tootsie and the Oscar-winning Out of Africa. For someone as rough and tough as Pollack seemed, he worked beautifully with actresses as formidable and diverse as Fonda and Streisand and Dunaway and Nicole Kidman.

If Sydney Pollack was involved, it was always a quality piece of work. Recount, the HBO movie about Florida in 2000 that just premiered this week, was produced by Pollack, as was Michael Clayton.

He was a compelling presence onscreen, too, playing Clooney's challenging and ethically-challenged boss in Michael Clayton and Will's warm and wonderful (but still flawed) dad on Will and Grace.

Even more impressive than his filmwork is the fact that Mr. Pollack is survived by his wife, Claire, whom he married in 1958. A half-century together. That's an almost impossible feat, even for couples who aren't in Hollywood.

My own Moment of Rememberance

At 3:00 at Wrigley Field -- and at all MLB parks -- a Moment of Remembrance was observed. It was a sweet and gentle reminder that today is about more than the beginning of summer and an opportunity for me to chill out on the sofa. I was especially moved by the sight of a quartet of young sailors, in uniform, at the ballpark and enjoying the game but obviously ready to go off to fight … and die. I was reminded of a later verse of "America, the Beautiful," and my Memorial Day prayer is for those who are responsible for sending our young people off to combat do so wisely:

O beautiful for heroes proved in liberating strife,
Who more than self the country loved,
And mercy more than life.
America! America!
May God thy gold refine,
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine.

The Memorial Day 4 day/4 bag challenge

My packrat tendencies overwhelm me at times. That's why, for this weekend, my best friend issued the following challenge: come up with 4 bags to donate to Goodwill -- 4 bags/4 days. I am proud to announce that I did it! I parted with 7 pairs of shoes, a new pair of slippers, 3 t-shirts, 4 pairs of shorts, 2 sweaters, a purse, 2 eyeglass cases, 2 makeup pouches, a music box, a pair of umbrellas, 5 hardcover books and 4 paperbacks. C'mon, everybody, let's give this Gal a big "atta girl!"

Of course, this still doesn't address the various and sundry papers scattered about my dining room table, but 4 bags in 4 days (3 days, actually!) is still quite an accomplishment.

I also pampered myself with breakfast out and, even better, a massage right here in town. I deserved it because I was such a good girl, rising to the Memorial Day Challenge. Also she does a very nice job, paying extra attention to my palms and shoulders, adding reflexology to the basic Swedish massage.

Naturally there was Cubs baseball, too. But it's best not to dwell on that.

Hi, I'm Old!

This coming week, Joe Namath -- one of the lions of my girlhood -- turns 65. Oh, how I loved him! It's hard to fathom how the rebel who outraged every adult I knew could possibly be a senior citizen.

Jake Gyllenhaal has been cast to play ol' Broadway Joe in an upcoming movie biography. I hope the movie is good. Joe Willie has had quite a life. He lent credibility to the AFL and single handedly turned the Super Bowl into an event. Yet I'm afraid if he's remembered at all, it's as the goofy drunk who hit on Suzy Kolber on national TV. That makes me sad.

There's no place like home, there's no place like home

After losing two extra-inning games in a row in Pittsburgh, my Cubs come home to the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field to host the Dodgers and the Rockies. I'm looking forward to these games because the Rockies suck, and because our record at home this season is very, very good.

Gloriously awful!

I am watching Divorce His, Divorce Hers. This 1973 Taylor-Burton made-for-TV is garish and overwrought. This story of a disintegrating marriage takes place in Italy and Africa and England (both London and "in the country"). Liz is backcombed and bejeweled. Dick talks about "massive investments" in "international conglomerates."

"You cahn't leave us!"
"I must."
"You hate me don't you?"
"You'd like to believe that, wouldn't you?"
"Beat me, loathe me if you must, but please don't leave me!"

A small part of me is genuinely appalled. This is the couple who did Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Early in their relationship, they brought daring realism to the depiction of domestic warfare. How did they get here? How did they sink to this?

But the bigger part of me is fascinated. Look at that enormous red headband holding her fall in place! Is that THE diamond she's wearing? I wonder how she'd look without all that eyeshadow. Why … does he … speak like … THIS? These odd pauses make him sound like the Welsh Captain Kirk.

In short, I'm enjoying this immensely.

With apologies to Maroon 5

"This game has taken its toll on me/We've left men on too many times before …"

Geez, we're in the 12th and it's still 4-4, Cubs and Pirates! Enough already! If St. Louis wasn't a mere game behind us, I wouldn't care how this contest ends.

But they are, so I must.

Friends and family update

So much has been going on with everyone around me! It's time to take stock and document where everyone is on this Saturday morning …

Mom is still on the mend. She's weak and often has the blues. The antibiotics gave her stomach trouble. So she was prescribed antidiarrheal meds that have given her a rash. Still, she's home. She's got her cats and her garden to comfort her. Her lunch buddy, Shirley, took her to her doctor's appointment this week. It wasn't the Olive Garden, their favorite haunt, but seeing her friend at the appointed day and time gave her a sense of normalcy. And nothing makes her happier than spending time with my niece and nephew, who can stop by after school.

My old boss is back at his desk. He worked two days this week, his first time at the office since 4/17. It's gone well, but, like my mom, he's still weak. The ugly fact of the matter is that he almost died, and his anger at those who (mis)treated him is palpable. I like the anger better than the depression it replaced. I'm also glad he's back to work. He really does love his job. We may get together next week.

Kathy told me rather forcefully that she does not want me riding "the worry train, too. There is enough of that in this neck of the woods." It was a wise and generous thing for her to say. I have been beating myself up because all I can afford to give her this summer is $300 to help with the boarding of her cats. Right now:
• I don't know how much financial help my mom will need
• I know my niece and nephew don't like thinking about it before this school year officially ends, but the expense of back-to-school will be upon us in just six paychecks
• I must get my finances in order in case I find myself unemployed this year
• I'm considering the wisdom of long-term care insurance, but it's not cheap.

So $300 is not as much as I'd like to contribute to Kathy's cause. But it's important to note that she didn't ask me for a single cent, and she's done her best to alleviate any and all guilt on my side.

My best friend seems to be making a real friendship in his new neighborhood. Oh, I know I'm the best friend he will ever have, and he's still as important to me as my next breath, and I miss him so, but we are in different cities. He needs a bromance, someone closer by who shares his interests, isn't related (every guy he's been socializing with has been an in-law), and is a man (so his wife will be more comfortable). Seems one of his neighbors not only knows of, but is a fan of, a Texas-based blues singer that my best friend adores. The two couples went to see her last night. It's my hope that he'll feel less isolated, less lonely, and more able to forge a new identity for himself.

I think that's all the news that's fit to print!

Let's give her the benefit of the doubt

One of the most fascinating and most poignant "what might have been's" of my lifetime is, "What if Bobby had lived?" Would he have become President? If so, how many American soldiers would have come home from Viet Nam alive instead of in flag-draped coffins? As the standard-bearer of the Democratic party, how would this uber Catholic father of 11 have handled Roe v. Wade? What about the racial divide? Could he have continued to help heal it?

Today, in South Dakota, Hillary Clinton made a most unfortunate reference to Bobby Kennedy's 1968 campaign when making her argument about staying in the race: "My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California."

I take her at her word, that she was just thinking about how the primary contests in years gone by went on into the summer -- not that she wanted to hang in there, waiting in the wings, just in case the unspeakable happens again. Her almost immediate apology: "I regret that if my referencing that moment of trauma for our entire nation and in particular the Kennedy family was in any way offensive. I certainly had no intention of that whatsoever." She is a candidate herself, the wife of a President, a woman who considered herself Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis' friend. I simply don't believe she was using assassination as a bargaining chip to win delegates.

But oh, I've said it before and I'll say it again -- and I'll feel it again as we approach the 40th anniversary of Bobby's death -- some things leave deep and irreparable wounds.

I think she just lost her place on the ticket. I hope she comes to her senses, realizes and feels the full impact of her words, drops out of the campaign and goes home to Chappaqua for the month of June.

Aw ... Ain't love grand?

Derek and Meredith ... Chief and Mrs. Chief ... Hahn and Callie ... Dr. Bailey and her family ... George and Lexie ... Izzie and Karev ... the recuperating teen and his dream girl ...

Sigh.

Everyone at Seattle Grace is in love tonight, all the characters followed their hearts. It was a very satisfying Grey's Anatomy finale. I hope they all live happily ever after. I know they all can't, because then there wouldn't be any drama next season. But I think it was all terribly romantic and it makes for a glorious, idealistic fantasy.

The Perils of Living Among People

I live in a condo building that has a very diverse population. Black and white and Asian, married and single and shacking up, young children and teenagers, young adults and retirees. For the most part, I like being surrounded by a variety of people.

Except three of the retirees are wearing me out.

Walt lives at the end of my hall and derives entertainment from keeping an eye on me. This morning he knocked on my door, interrupting me as I got ready for work to complain about the car that is parked in my spot. It's red and beat up and looks "hot" to him. I told him I was renting to Brian on the third floor, that Brian paid cash in advance, and consequently Brian is aces with me. Still, Walt had to "get to the bottom of this." I got home this afternoon to find a note from Walt, explaining that Mr. Bryant on the third floor knows nothing about the red beater in my spot. Um ... that's because I said BRIAN, not Mr. BRYANT! And I checked out the car. Despite what Walt says, it's not like the one shown here. It's been in an accident, clearly, with a bashed in driver's side front and backseat doors. But it's not that bad! Yet I know this is going to turn into a "thing," because Walt has too much time on his hands.

Porch Potato: The man who wears Bermuda shorts no matter how cold it is outside used to steal my newspaper every damn morning. More than once I walked past him sitting on the porch, reading the paper with my name and apartment number scrawled across the front page. The only thing that got him to stop is the installation of security cameras!

Mr. B. is a sweet, benign old gentleman who tries to sell me Avon every time I see him. Sometimes he delivers orders, often he doesn't. Sometimes the orders are complete, often they aren't. I have taken to ducking when I catch sight of him.

They're sweet guys (OK, Porch Potato is a complete asshole) but so annoying! Maybe I would have been better suited by a nice little coach house in the middle of nowhere, with no neighbors.

Thursday Thirteen #68 -- Playing with iTunes PlayCount

THE THIRTEEN SONGS
PLAYED MOST OFTEN
ON MY IPOD

I admit two things about this week's TT:

(1) I stole this idea from Stephen King’s column in a back issue of Entertainment Weekly. He inspired me to go to my iTunes Library and view the songs not by artist, or genre or playlist, but by number of plays.

(2) I’m surprised by which songs had the biggest numbers. God, I’m such a sap! I have Aerosmith and Amy Winehouse on my iPod, really I do! But the numbers don’t lie, and these are the songs I listen to most regularly.

1. I Will. The Beatles White Album. Who knows how long I’ve loved you? I know I love you still. Shall I wait a lonely lifetime? If you want me to, I will.

2. More than You Know. Barbra Streisand. Funny Lady Soundtrack. More than you know, man of heart I love you so. Lately I find you’re on my mind more than you know.

3. The Right Thing to Do. Carly Simon. Best of Carly Simon. There’s nothing you can do to turn me away, Nothing anyone can say. You’re with me now and as long as you stay, loving you is the right thing to do.

4. This Could Take All Night. Amanda Marshall. Tin Cup Soundtrack. Baby, don’t be afraid, a little work won’t hurt your back. But just in case I’m wrong, you’ll be smiling when they pronounce you dead.

5. Didn’t I Blow Your Mind? The Delfonics. Top Hits of the 70s. I gave my heart and soul to you, Girl. Didn’t I do it, Baby? Didn’t I do it, Baby?

6. Real Love. Doobie Brothers. Rock on 1980. Well we’ve both lived long enough to know that we’d trade it all right now for just one moment of real love.

7. September. Earth, Wind and Fire. Do you remember the 21st of September? Love was changing the minds of pretenders while chasing the clouds away.

8. Smoke from a Distant Fire. John Townsend. The Road Leads Home. I know where you’re going to, I knew when you came home last night with your eyes all amist from the smoke of a distant fire.

9. This Love. Maroon 5. Pictures of Jane. This love is taking its toll on me. She said goodbye too many times before.

10. She Loves You. The Beatles. Past Masters, Vol. 1. Pride can hurt you, too. Apologize to her, because she loves you, and you know that can’t be bad. She loves you, and you know you should be glad.

11. Up the Ladder to the Roof. The Supremes. Come with me and we’ll run across the sky and illuminate the night.

12. Shameless. Garth Brooks. Roping the Wind. I’m shameless when it comes to loving you. I’ll do anything you ask me to. I’ll do anything at all.

13. Bell Bottom Blues. Eric Clapton. The Cream of Clapton. Give me one more day, please. I don’t want to fade away. In your heart I want to stay.

Now go view the songs on your iPod or MP3 player by play count,
check out your top 13 …
and let me know if the content surprises you, too.

Include your link in comments and I'll list you here:
1. Pjazzypar has a tribute to actress Jennifer Lewis (You do so know who she is!)
2. Mama Pajama (thriving at 30) invites us to play "Who's that Girl?"
3. Streaking Malcolm serves up a tasty pop culture dish of songs that premiered on one side of the Atlantic and then sailed across the sea
4. Hootin' Ani fills us in the history of Memorial Day
5. Anthony North takes a closer look at cults
6. Kay helps us pack for Africa
7. Nicole Austin takes us car shopping
8. Lost Hemisphere looks at who has come to her blog … and why
9. Hailey's Mommy's TT is highly visual and quite lovely
10. SJR anticipates Indy's return
11. Adelle has a peaceful TT
12. Sue takes us to Facebook
13. Janet shares 13 quotes
14. Sandy Carlson quotes Dylan Thomas
15. B Boys Mom has ambitious Memorial Day to-do list
16. Marcia takes us to Disney
17. Maribeth's TT takes flight
18. Clarence's TT takes place near the treetops
19. Lori throws a spotlight on the Queen of Soul
20. Crazy Daisy has a floral TT
21.


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Exhausted!

Tonight is a big night for me: American Idol, Cubs vs. Houston, the Kentucky/Oregon primaries, news coverage of poor Ted Kennedy's condition, and my beloved future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux pitching at home in San Diego. Yet, now that I'm safely curled up on my sofa, I'm suddenly exhausted! Depleted. Like a helium balloon with a slow leak.

I think it's because I miss my best friend. I hear from every day, but lately they have just been short, silly emails. I want to talk to him. I believe that would make me feel better. Maybe tomorrow.