Sunday, September 03, 2006

At least now he's easier to spot

Oh, I simply must develop a spine! My very nice, very old but very loquacious and very, very annoying neighbor, Mr. B., was seated out in front of the building for 20 minutes yesterday. Because of construction on the building next door, we can't use our back door. So Mr. B. was obstructing my only exit, and so I was trapped inside my building for 20 sunny, mild, blue-skyed minutes.

I know this is silly. But last time I was cornered by Mr. B. (the end of July), he completely bullied me into ordering Avon from him. So I chose some items I really don't need or want, and guess what -- he screwed up the order. Again. I simply cannot bear yet another conversation that goes on for pointless minutes and ends with him saying, "But I'll take care of you. Don't I always take care of you?"

No. No you don't, Mr. B. You screw up every order. You scare the crap out of me by ringing my bell at all hours, so I'll know you left yet another Avon catalog outside my door. If I keep the catalog, you come by and ask for it back. If I return the catalog with my order, you come by and tell me I'm supposed to keep it. I cannot take this anymore, Mr. B! I am being terrorized and tyranized by the oldest, sweetest and most male Avon Lady ever!

There is good news, though. He's taken to wearing a bright yellow baseball cap. I like to think of it as a bright yellow lighthouse beacon, warning me to stay away.

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