Manic Monday #8

Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were the opposite sex? For the most part, I think men have it easier because historically they have had more power. Men have been responsible for most of the law making and law breaking in our society. Of course, they historically have had more stress and tend to die younger, so maybe it evens out. And yes, when I see how short the mens' room lines are at sporting events, I have wished I was male.

What books from your childhood would you like to share with your children? Charlotte's Web. Charlotte inspired me to work to become a good writer and a true friend. I owe that spider a great deal and would love to share her message.

What is one talent or skill you don't possess but always wanted? I can't sing for shit. Completely tone deaf. In my dreams I sound like Streisand. No one has been rude enough to tell me what I sound like during waking hours.

 For more information, or to play along yourself, visit the one, true Manic Monday site.

On my mind …

It's been a big weekend, with seismic shifts in the lives of those close to me.

1) Saturday afternoon, my brother-in-law was laid off again for the second time in six months. His boss was counting on a big job beginning next week, but at the last minute the contract fell through. My poor BIL only had this job for 90 days, and he was very happy with it -- even though it didn't pay very much. Financially, things are getting dire in that household. I worry about the impact their money problems will have on their parenting skills. Their oldest -- my niece, a high school freshman -- has been having big problems of late.

2) My uncle, who is dying slowly from Parkinson's disease, has taken a radical turn for the worse. For the past year he has remained in his own home with live-in help -- a lovely pair of middle-aged sisters he met through his church. They take turns staying with him and helping him out. But he needs more assistance than they can give. He needs around-the-clock nursing care from trained professionals. Which he refuses to even discuss. His behavior has become dangerous and erratic. Since much of it is in response to his meds, he doesn't even recall many of the more harrowing incidents. He is very wealthy and can fight any moves toward hospitalization or a nursing home. Yet I worry because he's a danger to himself and others.

3) There were layoffs at work. I expected them, and certainly one of the 5 people involved had it coming for his role in the way the account was mismanaged, and consequently how close we have all come to losing our jobs. Still, whenever anything like this happens there's upheaval and heightened sensitivity on the team.

4) I can't stop thinking about my own personal Brad and Jen.

5) I have an unsightly and painful zit in my eyebrow.

I have to remember that #5 is really the only one within my control, and beyond putting zit cream on it, there really isn't even very much I can do about that one.

That's hard for me to accept, since I like to arrange and fix things. But it's so easy for me to be swallowed up by problems like these, and that serves no one. I need to keep my wits around me, in case my mother or my niece or "Brad" need me.

So now, if you'll excuse me, I have to slather acne cream in my eyebrow.

My Saturday Night Dream Date

He has everything I could want in a man:
• a timeless smirk
• an intimidating sneer
• a healthy disrespect for authority
• a prodigious way with words
• inexhaustible courage
• great arms
• Samuel L. Jackson as his wing man

Yes, I'm watching Die Hard with a Vengeance, and I remain deeply in love with John McClane.

It's been a hectic and not altogether pleasant Saturday. I simply don't feel like dealing with reality right now. I much prefer dealing with him.

Two months! It was only gorgeous for two months!

Got in this evening to find the right cushions of my lovely new sofa covered in kitty puke and a hairball. I want to cry.

I only had it two months before Charlotte (and yes, I know it was her) deposited the contents of her stomach all over it. I sprayed it with Woolite Upholstery Foam and am hoping that does the trick. I want to cry.

Charlotte, on the other hand, seems very comfortable and pleased with herself. Naturally. After all, she divested herself of an annoying hairball.

But they were never supposed to break up!

No, this post isn't going to be about Brad and Jen. But instead about my personal Brad and Jen, the couple I thought would never split … until this week when they did.

They met, got married and had two babies -- all in the space of four years. It happened fast, but he assured me that's how it happens when it's right. He was so proud of her accomplishments. When her work got mentioned in the newspaper or a professional journal, he never failed to show it to me. They were dedicated parents -- working from home rather than staying late so they could spend time with their adorable little ones.

They were my heroes. Love, passion, mutual respect and common goals for their kids … all this and heaven, too!

Beginning in the fall, I stopped hearing from him as often as I used to. I shot him emails regarding the Mitchell Report (baseball is one of the things we bonded over) and they went unanswered. One thing about my friend -- he LOVES educating me about stuff I don't know! No Christmas card, either. Huh? He and his wife enjoy sending photos of their little urchins.

Then, yesterday, he told me the news. On Thanksgiving she told him it just wasn't working for her anymore and she wanted him to move out this week. I can understand them not wanting to spoil Christmas for their kids -- especially their son, who is almost 4 now and probably quite into Santa. But what's the significance of this week? Elvis' birthday?

Anyway, they're SEPARATED! He told me that, while their problems aren't "juicy," she'd been unhappy throughout 2007 and he thought they could "work on it." Apparently not. He's now living with his brother.

I'm almost sick to my stomach.

I have relationship issues the size of all outdoors. I either expect too much or too little. I either give too much or too little. I'm too fiercely independent and have trouble pulling in double harness. I have been involved with lovely men over time and have sabotaged those relationships. I sadly accept responsibility for all that.

But I love love and I love happy endings. I had counted on this couple to verify my faith. And now look at them.

I wonder if, when they discussed how this would effect the kids, they limited their conversation to their two preschoolers, too, or if they included this old gal, too.

An endorsement that makes a difference

Now I'm going to take a closer look at the junior Senator from my state. After all, John Kerry was right about (among other things) Viet Nam War and veterans' rights, the death penalty and making the court system more open and fairer to female victims of rape and domestic violence.

Senator Kerry has served his country honorably as solider, anti-war activist, DA and Senator. He's been on the right side of every issue that has been important to me. If Barack Obama is good enough for John Kerry, he certainly deserves greater consideration from me.

Friday's Feast #29

Appetizer. What is your middle name? Would you change any of your names if you could? If so, what would you like to be called? My middle name is Ann. I like it well enough, and can't think of a middle name I'd prefer. I do hate my last name, which is (part of) why I'd love to change it to Lady McCartney.

Soup. If you were a fashion designer, which fabrics, colors, and styles would you probably use the most? Neat question! I'd use a lot of blues and purples, and everything would be tailored. As Stacy and Clinton (WNTW) have taught me, it's important to have a defined waist.

Salad. What is your least favorite chore, and why? Laundry! It takes too long and it takes me down to the building laundry room. I hate it down there because I find myself having to chat with neighbors whose names I can never recall.

Main Course. What is something that really frightens you, and can you trace it back to an event in your life? Flying. No, there's no particular incident that triggered it. I'm just horrified by air travel.

Dessert. Where are you sitting right now? Name 3 things you can see at this moment. My new (OK, it's 2 months old now) sofa. I can see my faithful tomcat, Joey, and my wallet and my white boots (they're UGGS knock offs).

For more information, or to whip up your own feast, visit Friday's Feast.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #49 -- Remembering the original songbird/trainwreck

THIRTEEN THINGS 

ABOUT JUDY GARLAND

Following the Britney Spears saga, I have had an overwhelming sense of deja sad because this reminds me so much of Judy Garland. Born Frances Gumm, Garland died at the tender age of 47 -- tiny and frail and looking 20 years older after decades of divorces, drinking, drugging, smoking and suicide attempts.

Like Britney, she was a child star. Like Britney, she was a tabloid target. Like Britney, she was such a powerful cash cow that no one was willing or able to tell her no as she self destructed.

But one thing Garland had that Britney doesn’t is authentic, overwhelming and ferocious talent. No less an expert on these things than Katharine Hepburn called Garland one of the most gifted indivdiuals she ever met. Judy was Dorothy and she took us “Over the Rainbow.” Kids not even born yet will journey to Oz with her. But there was much more to her career than that …

1. She was a major star in MGM’s Golden Era. She made more than 25 films for the studio in just 14 years. She was still in her 20s when they fired her after too many sick days, late days, days when she wouldn’t/couldn’t leave her dressing room at all. After all, it’s called show BUSINESS, and Garland no longer had a good ROI. This is where she was when she was Britney’s age. 

2. In her MGM heyday, she was awarded a special Oscar. Unlike Haley Joel Osment and Abigail Breslin, among others, child stars in those days simply weren’t nominated for “competitive” Academy Awards. Instead they were given mini Oscars. Garland received hers in 1940 for her “Mickey-Judy” musicals and for the immortal Wizard of Oz.

3. Those teen musicals are still fun to watch today. Directed by Busby Berkeley, the big production numbers are amazing. Garland is unfailingly sincere, even spouting ridiculous dialog like, “Hi! I’m Betsey Booth. I sing!”

4. She put her indelible mark on classic songs in those silly movies. I Cried for You, I’m Nobody’s Baby, How About You, and But Not for Me. Once Judy sang these songs in her strong yet tremulous voice, they should have just been retired.

5. Her version of You Made Me Love You was initially an MGM novelty song. In Broadway Melody of 1938, a teen Judy sings this to a photo of MGM’s greatest star as she pens him a fan letter. It begins, “Dear Mr. Gable, I am writing this to you …” She sings with such aching sincerity, it could have been me warbling to Bobby Sherman or David Cassidy.

6. She worked with Vincente Minnelli on Meet Me in St. Louis. Together they created famous musical numbers like The Trolley Song and Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. They later married and yes, created Liza.

7. She helped launch Gene Kelley’s film career. He was a critically acclaimed Broadway performer, and Judy lobbied for him to be her costar love interest in his film debut: For Me and My Gal.

8. They also appeared together in my favorite Garland film, Summer Stock. It’s kinda dopey , actually. A Mickey-Judy/”Let’s do the show right here” musical with an adult cast. But it’s got Judy encouraging us with If You Feel Like Singing, Sing! and the unforgettable Get Happy! Love her in that fedora.

9. The backstory makes that number even more interesting. Throughout the movie, Judy is … well … fat. It works for the story because she’s cast as the diligent sister who works the family farm and supports the glamorous, frivolous sister with show biz aspirations. Suddenly, in the iconic Get Happy! number, she’s sleek and svelte. Then, for the remainder of the film, she’s heavy again. As the story goes, after the film was shot, Garland was hospitalized for a time (there were definitely pills, most certainly booze and perhaps a suicide attempt involved) and during her convalescence she lost a ton of weight. While she was trying to get well and clean, MGM was editing Summer Stock and decided it needed another big number. So when Judy left the hospital, she was summoned back to the set to shoot Get Happy! It was the last number she successfully completed at the old Dream Factory.

10. After she left MGM, she began performing on stage. She needed money. She had fame, but no job. Instead of doing plays, she developed a one-woman musical show. It’s still available today as a 2-CD set, “Judy at Carnegie Hall.” If you’re curious to hear what all the fuss is about, take a listen.

11. Then there’s A Star Is Born. She acts, really acts, in this one. “Hi, everybody. This is Mrs. Norman Maine.” Gulp. Oh yeah, she sings, too. Most notably Swanee and The Man that Got Away. She was nominated for an Oscar for this performance. Groucho Marx referred to her loss that year as “the greatest robbery since Brink’s.”

12. Judgment at Nuremberg. Another Oscar nomination for her heart-wrenching courtroom scene. (NO! There’s no singing! This is Judgment at Nuremberg, not Springtime for Hitler!)

13. Her variety show on CBS featured some amazing duets. It didn’t last very long because the network couldn’t sustain high production costs (due to their star’s late days, sick days, etc.) and middling ratings. But the series gave us Judy singing with Liza, Peggy Lee, Lena Horne and best of all, an unbelievably young Streisand. Their duet of Happy Days Are Here Again and Get Happy! still leaves me with goosebumps. Streisand, barely out of her teens and at the beginning of her career, looks stronger and more self possessed than Judy, who keeps touching Babs' arm as they sing. The veteran looks like she's getting support from the rookie. Watching this, you're not surprised that Streisand is the one who never went to rehab, or was multi-married, or went bankrupt. 

Ok, so I left out most of the really lurid stuff. If you want to read about the sex and the drugs, there are plenty of biographies out there. Some are harrowing, some are really juicy, and all are entertaining. Even when Garland was at her worst, she was imaginative , funny and rather brave, so her life has attracted successful biographers like Gerald Frank and Anne Edwards. But her chaotic and self-destructive personal life can’t overwhelm her sumptuous body of work.

Put your link in comments and I'll mention you here:

1) Pjazzypar takes us to Hitsville USA

2) Don't Make Me Get Out the Flying Monkeys serves up chicken dishes

3) Chelle Y gives us a tour of her desktop

4) Sandy Carlson teaches Origami 101

5) Ellen B. has a volcanic TT

6) Lori has a TT your kids don't want you to read!

7) Morgan confesses that her kids are spoiled

8) Nicholas takes us from the bookshelves to the movie theater

9) Malcolm quotes Laker-lovin' Jack Nicholson

10) Open Grove Claudia gives us 13 rules for living

11) Susan Helene Gottfried takes us to Yellowstone

12) SJ Reidhead entertains us with a historical, western TT

13) Lazy Daisy and I have the same favorite color

14) Candy has a feisty TT

15) Damozel has a pictorial TT. 

16) Journeywoman shares her joy in her faith

17) Nicole Austin has an insightful TT about men and love and we womenfolk

18) Zenmomma encourages us to reconnect with our communities

19) Gabriella takes us down memory lane

20) Deanna shares the contents of a literary treasure chest with us

21) Patti composed her TT around the letter B

22) Tickled Pink has a green TT

23) Natalie is in love … with her new car, and here's why

24) Harlekwin puts the adult world on notice

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Keep it to yourself

"They all stink."

"It's like choosing between the lesser of two evils."

"They're all as honest as used car salesmen."

"What difference does it make anyway?"

"I'm too busy to pay attention."

I've heard all of the above from people aged 45+ regarding Presidential politics. I wonder if these cynical and lazy citizens feel at all responsible for the casualties in Iraq, waterboarding, Blackwater, the heartbreak and shame of Katrina, and the mess that became of the US Attorney General's office. For it's their laziness and cynicism that helped re-elect George W. Bush.

I'd like to think that this is the legacy of Richard Nixon. That the abuses of Watergate so scarred us that we don't have faith in the system anymore. But that's too easy. By the time you're 45 or older, you really have to take responsibility for your own actions and attitudes.

One of the most exciting things about this Presidential election -- on both the Republican and Democratic sides -- is how involved young people have become: Barack Obama is drawing rockstar crowds of people 30 and under; Ron Paul is raising amazing sums of money, courtesy of his merry band of young internet experts. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert enjoy a predominantly college-aged demographic. This new generation seems to get it in a way their parents don't.

If their parents' generation can't share their joy, enthusiasm, excitement and involvement, I hope they can at least shut up and not rain on their parade.

Of course, I'm the kind of corny patriot who gets choked up at the National Anthem before a baseball game. (Which is why the doping scandal upsets me, too, but I'm going to stop now …before my brain blows up.)

Behold the winner of the NH Primary

Everyone wrote her off. Everyone was wrong. In the words of my favorite author, William Goldman, "Nobody knows anything."

Since I am gloriously comfortable with all three of the top tier Democratic candidates, I am glad she did as well as she did so that the nominating process continues, and all three of their voices will be heard as Democrats decide which one best represents the party.

Gone, baby, gone

The Gay House is gone! Demolished! It makes me very sad.

The Gay House was a building I saw every day, twice a day, because it's across from the el tracks. The first floor was a trio of small, affordable offices. No one ever stayed there very long, and I enjoyed checking out who was currently renting space. Sometimes it was local political candidates. At tax time there was frequently an accountant. You get the idea.

Upstairs was an apartment with the most beautiful rooftop garden. I called it The Gay House because in addition to a grill and plastic Adirondack chairs, all year around there was a gay pride rainbow flag on the porch. I loved watching it change from season to season.

Between yesterday and today, it's gone! The three offices, the apartment, the grill, the chairs and the gay pride flag. I feel like I've lost something.

Manic Monday #7

What was the last thing you regret buying?

A Visa giftcard as "thank you" gift for my friends in the Keys. It cost $3.95 to activate! Then, right after I bought it, I found the perfect, more personal gift. So I'm using it myself. (But the $3.95 really annoys me.)

If you had a crystal ball that could tell you the truth about any one thing you wished to know about yourself, life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

Do I only get one thing? What I'd ask for depends on my mood. 1) Will I be laid off in 2008? 2) What's going on with my best friend? Is he really happy? 3) What's going on with my niece? Is she really happy?

How do you know when you're in love?

When he's the first thing I think of in the morning, even before my feet hit the floor.

For more information about Manic Monday, or to play along yourself, click here.

Unconscious Mutterings #22

I say ... and you think ... ?

Mist :: Arbor Mist
Eating :: Too much
Beacon :: The name of my church's monthly newsletter
Speaker :: Nancy Pelosi
Episodes :: TV show
Conference :: Conference calls
Sneak attack :: Startle! (I hate being startled)
Medic :: Corpsman 
Web :: Charlotte
2008 :: Calendar

For more information, or to mutter yourself, visit Unconscious Mutterings.

Please, oh please, don't toy with me!

Poor Roger Clemens just retired (again) on 60 Minutes. He feels really bad that he's been accused of doping. The millionaire resents that he may have to sue -- and spend money -- to clear his name. He actually made a contemptuous little gesture of counting bills as he discussed this.

The damage that his grasping, money grubbing, me-me-me attitude, as well as his alleged steroid use, has done to the national pasttime doesn't seem to bother him. But poor Roger feels really bad that he's been accused and has to defend himself.

Let's hope that he's actually sincere (an odd word to use when discussing Clemens) this time and does us all a favor by staying retired. 

By the way, my beloved, future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux won 7 of his last 10 starts in 2007 and will return this spring as the 9th winningest pitcher in the history of the game. Among active pitchers, he's second only to Roger Clemens. Only there has never been a breath of scandal about The Professor. He's still Luke Skywalker to Clemens' Darth Vadar. 

Survey Says …

Here's a long one, ideal for distracting me from bill paying.

THE RULES

Copy the whole list into your blog.
Bold the things that are true about you.
Add something that is true about you.
Optional: Add a comment after answer in italics

1.I miss somebody right now. My best friend
2.I don’t watch much TV these days.
3.I love olives
4.I own lots of books.
5.I wear glasses or contact lenses. Sometimes both
6.I love to play video games.
7.I’ve tried marijuana.
8.I’ve watched porn movies. I prefer to think of it as "erotica"
9.I have been in a threesome.
10.I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
11.I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
12.I curse sometimes. Actually, I curse almost constantly
13.I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
14.I have a hobby. I do believe you're looking at it
15.I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
16.I’m TOTALLY smart.
17.I’ve never broken someone’s bones.
18.I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
19.I hate the rain.
20.I’m paranoid at times.
21.I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
22.I need money right now. I always need money.
23.I love sushi. 
24.I talk really, really fast.
25.I have fresh breath in the morning.
26.I have long hair.
27.I have lost money in Las Vegas.
28.I have at least one brother and/or one sister.
29.I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
30.I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis. 
31.I have a twin (or a triplet, or somesuch).
32.I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. But only if Halloween counts
33.I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.
34.I like the way that I look.
35.I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
36.I know how to cornrow.
37.I am usually pessimistic.
38.I have a lot of mood swings.
39.I think prostitution should be legalized.
40.I think Britney Spears is pretty. Pretty and pretty sad 
41.Slept with a Suitemate. 
42.I have a hidden talent.  I can wiggle my ears
43.I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
44.I have a lot of friends.
45.I am currently single.
46.I have pecked someone of the same sex. 
47.I enjoy talking on the phone.
48.I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
49.I love to shop.
50.I would rather shop than eat.
51.I would classify myself as ghetto.
52.I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
53.I’m obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.
54.I don’t hate anyone.
55.I’m a pretty good dancer.
56.I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
57.I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
58.I have a cell phone.
59.I believe in God.
60.I watch MTV on a daily basis.
61.I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
62.I love drama.
63.I have never been in a real relationship before.
64.I’ve rejected someone before.
65.I currently have a crush/like someone.
66.I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
67.I want to have children in the future.
68.I have changed a diaper before.
69.I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
70.I bite my nails.
71.I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
72.I’m not allergic to anything.
73.I have a lot to learn.
74.I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
75.I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest “Friday” movie.
76.I am shy around the opposite sex. 
77.I’m online 24/7, even as an away message.
78.I have at least 5 away messages saved.
79.I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
80.I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past.
81.I own the “South Park” movie.
82.I have avoided assignments at work school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
83.When I was a kid I played “the birds and the bees” with a neighbor or chum.
84.I enjoy some country music.
85.I would die for my best friends.
86.I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. ewww
87.I watch soap operas whenever I can.
88.I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
89.I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
90.I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
91.I know all the words to Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story.”
92.Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
93.I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
94.I have dated a close friend’s ex.
95.I like surveys/memes.
96.I am happy at this moment.
97.I’m obsessed with guys.
98.I am bisexual.
99.Democrat.
100.Conservative Republican.
101.I am punk rockish.
102.I am preppy.
103.I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
104.I study for tests most of the time.
105.I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
106.I can work on a car.
107.I love my job.
108.I am comfortable with who I am right now. At this particular moment
109.I have more than just my ears pierced.
110.I walk barefoot wherever I can.
111.I have jumped off a bridge.
112.I love sea turtles.
113.I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
114.I believe in prophetic dreams.
115.I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
116.I am proficient on a musical instrument.
117.I worked at McDonald’s restaurant.
118.I hate office jobs.
119.I love sci-fi movies.
120.I’ve never been in love.
121.I think water rules.
122.I am going to college out of state.
123.I am adopted.
124.I like sausage.
125.I am a pyro.
126.I love the Red Sox.
127.I have thrown up from crying too much.
128.I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. And I've intentionally hurt people that I loved.
129.I love kisses.
130.I fall for the worst people and have been hurt every time.
131.I adore bright colors.
132.I love Dear Abby.
133.I can’t live without black eyeliner.
134.I think school is awesome.
135.I think pigtails serve a purpose.
136.I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
137.I usually like covers better than originals. 
138.I don’t like multi-textured ice cream
139.I think John Cusack is adorable.
140.I f**king hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.
141.I watch Food Network way too much.
142.I love coaching youth sports.
143.I can pick up things with my toes. Can't everyone? I guess I just discovered another hidden talent!
144.I can’t whistle.
145.I can move my tongue [sic] in waves, much like a snakes’ slither.
146.I have ridden/owned a horse.
147.I still have every journal I’ve ever written in.
148.I can’t stick to a diet.
149.I talk in my sleep.
150.I’ve often thought that I was born in the wrong century. Wrong decade, yes, but not wrong century
151.I do not like brooding men. 
152. I have constant humming in my ears.

153. I so prefer Coke to Pepsi.

If you do this, please let me know. That way I can check out your answers 

(and see what you added for #154.)

Like all the really good quizzes & memes …

… I stole this from Kwizgiver. It's known as "Privilege."

1. Father went to college No.

2. Father finished college No

3. Mother went to college No.

4. Mother finished college No.

5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor No

6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers Same

7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home Definitely. My dad had many, many faults as a parent, but he was a big reader and encouraged reading.

8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home See above.

9. Were read children's books by a parent Yes. I remember my mom's voice as she read (among others) Charlotte's Web and The Black Stallion to us at bedtime.

10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18 Art lessons, ballet lessons, swimming lessons and riding lessons. I remain a decent swimmer but was only good at horseback riding. I'm no artist, nor a dancer, but I have always had a way with critters.

11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18 See above

12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively White middle class suburbanites? Yeah.

13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18 No

14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs I didn't attend college. No, that's not true. I went to a semester or two of community college, and I paid for it myself.

15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs See above.

16. Went to a private high school Nope. Same public school my Mom and uncle attended.

17. Went to summer camp Girl Scout daycamp every summer for years. Hated it every summer for years.

18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18 Nope.

19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels Yes. Even when visiting family, we always stayed in hotels and motels. And I still prefer that to crashing to with relatives.

20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 No. Lots of hand-me-downs. My older sister was only a year ahead of me in school, so whenever she got new clothes I could pretty much count on it being in my closet soon enough.

21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them No.

22. There was original art in your house when you were a child No. Not a priority for either of my folks.

23. You and your family lived in a single family house Yes

24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home Hard to answer this one because it was paid off, then they took out a second mortgage less than a year before I left

25. You had your own room as a child  Yes. Thank God! It was my sanctuary

26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18 No. But my sister and I had our phone with its own number in the basement.

27. Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course No. My poor mother had to battle to get me to take the tests at all.

28. Had your own TV in your room in high school Yes

29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college Oh, come on! 

30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16 Nope. All of our family vacations started with long, painful, boring car rides.

31. Went on a cruise with your family No. And that's OK. I wonder if I wouldn't be bored on a cruise.

32. Went on more than one cruise with your family See above

33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up No. That's what Girl Scouts and school field trips were for. 

34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family Yes. Completely. My father liked us to believe we were wealthy. I guess we kinda were, but only because he cheated on his income taxes and borrowed, borrowed, borrowed. It all caught up with him shortly after I graduated from high school. Unbeknownst to him, I helped my mom out by paying the electric bill in addition to rent as soon as I got a job. It made me FUCKING CRAZY to hold my tongue when he scolded and lectured me about my responsibilities as long as I was living under "his" roof. I knew about the second mortgage and I was keeping the lights on. I'm still very quick to assume hypocrisy in authority.

THAT'S who Obama reminds me of!

Some bloggers write that Obama reminds them of Bobby Kennedy. Nope. Not me. Bobby Kennedy was prickly with passion and righteous indignation. I hear him in John Edwards.

Or maybe Obama is like JFK. He does have youth, charisma and a gorgeous family. But no, that's not quite right either. JFK was wittier and more facile in interviews and debates than Obama.

Obama promises us hope for the future. A new way of looking at things. The ability to turn the page on the Baby Boom Generation. Shhh … Wait! What's that I hear?

"Don't stop thinking about tomorrow … Yesterday's gone. Yesterday's gone."

In 1992, Bill Clinton promised us hope for the future. A new way of looking at things. The ability to turn the page on the WWII generation. 

Ironic, isn't it?

Poor Joe and the unfortunate Kibble Situation

My big ol' tomcat has a brain the size of a plum pit and a heart the size of all outdoors. He's always affectionate and trusting, but easily confused, which is why I'm upset that the Kibble Situation has had such an impact on him. He can't possibly understand it and it makes him so sad.

Here's the deal: Joey has always had a tendency toward urinary tract infection. That's why he ended up at the shelter in the first place -- his original family could afford neither the special food nor the medical care he required. He joined my household 10 years ago and, thanks to good advice and special attention from my vet, has had NO repeat infections.

The key is a premium dry cat food that is acceptable to all my cats but especially good for Joe's special needs. Because of storms and erratic weather out west, the vet hasn't received any new shipments since early December. We have been getting by with dry food purchased at Petco. All three cats seem to like the taste of this well enough, but only poor Joe has suffered any adverse effects.

It's not his urinary tract, thank God! It's his coat. He's got matts! No matter how gentle I am when I comb them, it still hurts. I tried to clip the matts away but that upset him, too, and I can't bear upsetting Joe. He doesn't understand. It confuses him. He looks so blue. He still loves me, of course, but that makes it worse. I'm his favorite human on earth. Why, oh why, am I doing this to him?

It's the unfortunate Kibble Situation, Joe! It's global warming and unpredictable weather. It's impassable roads and delayed railroad shipments. As soon as the Kibble Situation is resolved, I'll stop doing this to you. I promise. And your handsome gray coat will be shiny and matt-free once more. Honest!

At least Ella is OK

My heart goes out to the family of Meredith Emerson, the 24-year-old hiker who disappeared on the Appalachian Trail on Blood Mountain in Union County, GA. But ever since I first  heard this news story, I have been worried silly about her dog, Ella. Reports said that her abandoned car and beloved dog were found, but until today, I didn't know Ella's condition. 

Ella wandered into a grocery store and was positively identified by the microchip in her neck. She's fine. Thank God.

First of all, I always hate it when bad things happen to critters. Secondly, this girl clearly loves her pup. I was afraid that if the dog was found murdered, it would have meant that some awful person tortured Meredith's beloved Ella in front of her. As an animal lover, I can't even imagine the sheer terror that would have inspired in this girl.

But Ella is OK. Meredith knows the trail well and is an experienced outdoorswoman. Plus, her family takes solace in the fact that her middle name is "Hope." I'm holding out hope that Meredith's story ends up as safely as Ella's.

Be well, my liege

Sir Paul McCartney has had secret heart surgery, it has been revealed.

The Beatles legend, who is currently embroiled in a bitter divorce battle with Heather Mills, is said to have recovered well after undergoing a coronary angioplasty at a private London hospital last autumn.

A source said: "Paul felt there was something not quite right and luckily sought some professional help. It's not something that can be left to chance. Thankfully the operation went well and Paul feels great."

The operation, which opens up arteries to increase the flow of blood, was performed after Paul, 65, saw a Harley Street specialist at the London Clinic.

The procedure involves surgeons passing a small tube through the groin to the aorta. A tiny balloon at the tip of the tube is inflated to crush fatty deposits clogging the arteries, allowing blood to flow freely. A stent - a short wire mesh tube - is often left in the artery to keep it open. Paul's spokesman said: "It was a routine medical operation."

Next month, Paul and Heather will attend a five-day High Court hearing in a bid to finally agree on a divorce settlement. Heather, 39, is set to be awarded more than £30 million following a four-year marriage to the musician.

Friday's Feast #28

Appetizer
When was the last time you received a surprise in the mail, and what was it? In 2007 I found I was entitled to $25 as part of a class action suit.

Soup
If you could have a summer and/or winter home, where would you want it to be? "I like New York in June. How about you?"

Salad
Pick one: pineapple, orange, banana, apple, cherry. Orange.

Main Course
Describe the nicest piece of clothing that you own. By Eileen Fisher, it's a lightweight green sweater with a shawl collar.

Dessert
If you could forget one whole day from your life, which day would you choose to wipe from your memory? I've got a couple of very tempting answers, but instead I'll say that I don't want to erase any of it. You have to be who you were to be who you are, and I like who I am.

For more about Friday's Feast, or to play along yourself, click here.

Now it's historic for another reason

Tonight Barack Obama was the clear and convincing winner of the Iowa caucus. Congratulations, Senator!

He announced his candidacy at this train station in Springfield. It was from here that another of Illinois' favorite sons left to become President in 1861. I think that Abraham Lincoln would enjoy it that Obama, a man who preaches conciliatory governing, kicked off his White House run from this famous spot.

Poetry, ain't it?

"Frankly, I am over all of them. They stink. But Hillary will pull ahead soon, when she gets out her bag of dirty tricks. It won't be long, hang on!"

That is a comment, in its entirety and completely in context, that I discovered on a serious, thoughtful blog entry about the Democratic Presidential candidates. The only revisions were to the commenter's grammar, which was, frankly, atrocious.

Was this meant to be funny?  There are no puns, no witticisms, no sly double meanings. Nope. It's just pure vitriol, and it makes me sad. There's so much on the line with this election, no candidates have been chosen, and yet this commenter is dismissing all the top-tier Dems with that most convincing of arguments: "They stink."

I don't think all the Republicans "stink." I can't imagine a circumstance where I would vote for Huckabee or McCain, but I respect both men. I'm amazed by how proud some on the other side of the fence are to proclaim how hostile and narrow-minded they are.

I am completely besotted with the top tier of the Democratic candidates, yet I've read that many rank-and-file Republicans aren't crazy about their choices. This is where the commenter above reminds me of a Chicago White Sox fan. "White Sox Park (US Cellular) is ugly. Our uniforms are ugly. Our team had a disappointing season. It's miserable to be a White Sox fan, so I hate the Cubs."

I'd say that the Iowa caucus and this election are more important than Chicago baseball, but if you're a regular reader of this blog, you might not believe me.

P.S. The commenter is so close minded that she doesn't even know that Hillary has already reached into her "bag of dirty tricks" to cast aspersions on Obama through Bill Shaheen and Bob Kerrey. (The Gal shakes her head) How can someone be so PROUD to be hostile and narrow minded?

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #48 -- 2007 in Review

THIRTEEN THINGS

THE GAL HERSELF 

ENJOYED IN 2007

This blog serves as my well organized journal and has enabled me to look over the past year and savour the highlights.

1. My mom’s health. She gave us a pair of serious health scares in 2006, but her health has held steady this year. Which is great news, because she's still my mommy.

2. My cats. All three of them are healthy and happy. These are my babies, and I'm grateful that they're fine.

3. The 2007 NL Central Division Champion Chicago Cubs. What an amazing season! What a terrific cast of characters! These guys were a gas and a giggle and spring can't get here fast enough.

4. Elizabeth Edwards’ book. This book had a tremendous impact on me. Her unflinching honesty and her willingness to face and share her pain … how she embraces others when she needs help … Maybe I just picked up this book at a time in my life when I was receptive to her message, but I know I'm a different woman now than I was when I began it.

5. My three mini-getaways. I got away more than once this year, each trip for just a few days at a time, and all three trips left me feeling rejuvenated. I just got back from Key West, in November I visited Lincoln's Springfield, and in the spring I went to Chateau Elan. I recommend all three destinations to everyone!

6. Greg Maddux finds a home with the Padres. He's got a contract to play another year and in the NL, too!

7. Senators Clinton, Obama and Edwards. As I write this, the Iowa caucus hasn't happened yet. If I was a caucus goer, I'm not sure which one I'd support. But I do know this: I could proudly cast my vote for any of these three. (Biden, too.) It's a good and hopeful time to be a Democrat. I feel optimistic for my country again.

8. Getting my health in order (somewhat). OK, so I look like a fat pigeon. But there is still a bright side: My anti-depressants are working, my skin is finally clear, my teeth and gums are in good shape, and my cholesterol is in line.

9. Waitress. Last year it was Little Mary Sunshine. This year the “little” movie that captured my heart was Waitress. It’s out on DVD. Rent it!

10. Memory Almost Full and Magic. Two of my all-time favorite artists came out with personal and introspective new music this year. For me, the highlight of Paul McCartney's CD was "That Was Me." And the Boss touched me with "Long Walk Home."

11. Jersey Boys. This multi Tony winner deserves all the awards and praise it's received. For all that I know of The Four Seasons' songs, I knew nothing of their colorful and very dramatic beginnings. It's both gritty and glitzy and very well staged. If you can get a ticket, GO!

12. Good friends. This is the family I chose. I adore each and every one of them, and I realize -- and am grateful for -- each time they've kept me afloat in 2007.

13. All that this blog brought me. I feel like a real member of the blogosphere, and want to thank all of you who visit often, listen, comment and send positive wishes my way. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

And now I raise my glass in a toast to a terrific 2008! And thanks to Boho Rap for the new banner.

Include your link in the comments and I'll add you here:

1) Susiej shares 13 easy yet thoughtful tips for writing the perfect thank you note

2) Look to Pjazzypar for 13 very funny quotes from comics

3) Ellen B gives timely props to a great American character

4) Malcolm shows us how Bo Diddley is relevant today

5) Sandy Carlson looks back on the role of faith in 2007

6) Nicholas tours his DVD collection

7) Greatfullivin takes on criticism

8) Robin prepares us to battle coughs and sniffles

9) The Pink Flamingo wouldn't load for me. But go visit and let me know what she says.

10) Nicole Austin has a wise and witty TT about (sigh) men

11) The No Nonsense Girl has ambitious plans for 2008

12) Jenny McB is back! Check out her thoughts, musings and "resolutions."

13) Janet has a new look

14) Lori's TT is the most popular resolutions, and I just know yours will be among them

15) Army Wife shares her poetic side

16) Wacky Mommy brings us along to Costco

17) Damozel updates us on 2007's real news stories (meaning, no Britney or Paris)

18) Natalie reminds herself (and us) how to be healthier and more fit in 2008

19) Joy Is My Goal needs our help! She got $$ for Christmas and can't figure which of these 13 things to spend it on.

20) Yen has a movie TT, and you know how I love movie TTs!

21) Deanna shares her collection of Disney toys

22) Nadiah lists her plans for 2008

23) Patti has a TT brought to us by the letter A

24) Emerald City Guy has some new year's resolutions that are uniquely his

25) Harlekwin (she who designed my new TT banner) shares her plans for 2008

26) Danielle is planning for Valentine's Day already

27) Karen -- Georgia Angel shares her wish list

28) Linda R. Moore introduces her roadmap to a successful 2008

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


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In praise of Captain Tony's

This is my favorite bar in Key West. That's saying a lot, because there are many, MANY bars on that island. Yet for me, nothing sums up the mood of Key West more than this old bar.

In the 1930s it was the original site of Sloppy Joe's, Hemingway's favorite haunt. But this bar had a rich history even before Papa arrived, and it all has an impact on the place's unique vibe.

First of all, there's a tree growing in the middle of the place. Really. The first building known to be on this site was a morgue. The tree was "the hanging tree," where those found guilty met their demise. Locals believed that removing the tree would disrupt the evil spirits that died there, so the bar (complete with cigar store and bordello) was built around the huge tree. Forget hurricanes. The hanging tree has survived at least since the 1880s. I guess Mother Nature doesn't want to disturb the evil spirits, either.

As if drinking in a dark, breezy establishment with a tree growing in the middle isn't strange enough, let me describe the decor. All the chairs and most of the barstools are torn, with stuffing showing. The walls are covered with business cards, many of them curled and yellowing with antiquity. There are bras hanging from the ceiling (some are autographed) and license plates from "the mainland" nailed to the rafters. No, I don't know why. 

I used to try to figure out what the hanging tree, the bras, the business cards and the license plates have in common. Then I gave up. 

It's just Key West.

My Sunset Culinaire Cruise

Yesterday afternoon we went on a dinner cruise with a real three-course dinner. It was beautiful and delicious. We each began with a salad (my friend, the Birthday Boy, is more adventuresome than I and had a Thai salad with a spring roll), then we went with the catch of the day -- grouper -- cooked with rice on a shrimp reduction sauce, and for dessert I had a terrific rice pudding (that tasted spicy somehow) with raspberry sauce and he had chocolate cheesecake.

We both had wine enjoyed watching the sunset with the ship's dog, a lovely old mutt named Jackie who endured our petting in exchange for access to the area under the table so she could search for anything that may have missed our mouths.

In the past we have taken a sunset sail, but this was actually much better. The boat's capacity is only 18, and the price tag is a little heftier, so while all shipmates were friendly, there's less of that raucous party atmosphere.

Don't know what we're doing today. I just know that I love being here because of my friend. His lover and their friends are so interesting and just so accepting of me. Yesterday we had lunch with a married couple of lawyers who recently moved down here from DC (Virginia, actually) and he is looking for a teaching position at the community college down here where my friend is a professor. His wife and I hit it off instantly, talking about everything from the wonderfully tacky moccasins found at the Wisconsin Dells to the inspiring love story of John and Elizabeth Edwards. She said what I was thinking, "It's so nice to meet someone who agrees with me about everything!"

Well I'd better log off now and continue up Duval in search of souvenirs for loved ones back home. Wait! What's that I hear? Could it be a margarita calling out to me?

(I'm composing this from a community computer at an Internet cafe, so unfortunately I can't include any photos. For more information and some professional pix, visit www.sunsetculinaire.com.)

It's just as easy to be nice as ...

... to be an incredible asshole.

The night before I left for Key West, I spent a ton of time on the phone with the nicest customer service representative for Continental Airlines. She very patiently explained what could happen if the snow started to fall in Chicago (it did) delaying my flight (it was) and jeopardizing my opportunity to make a connection in Tampa to Key West. She was completely lovely and reserved a seat for me on the only available Continental flight to Key West the next day. Turns out I didn't need her help, but that doesn't diminish how thorough and polite she was and I appreciated that sooooo much.

Contrast this with the little jerk who was directing people at Terminal A in Tampa. All he would do is point. He refused to answer questions. I had 10 minutes to make my flight, and when I got to Terminal A I discovered I would have to go through a long line at security again. Taking off my shoes, collecting all my 3-oz or less bottles and zipping them into a storage bag, etc. They do not make you go through security twice at O'Hare, Hartsfield or Miami, so I thought this was a mistake. "I have answered you three times!" he barked. Maybe 21, with a face ProActiv would love, and he's giving me shit. Not to mention that I've never spoken to him before in my life, much less twice previously. I went to check his nametag and he covered it with his hand. "You don't get to know my name. You just have to get in line." He was wearing a red vest, so I know he was airport, not NTSB, so I sarcastically thanked him and wished him a happy, happy holiday season. A man observing this exchange gave me the spot in front of him at the middle of the line.

So to the woman on the phone at Continental and to the fellow traveller right behind in line as I went through security (again!) at Tampa, thank you, thank you, thank you. Your kindnesses meant a lot to me, and almost washed away the stench of the officious brat boy who was undoubtedly using bravado and rudeness to compensate for bad skin and a small penis.

Friday's Feast #27

Appetizer.
Name 2 things you would like to accomplish in 2008. Lose weight and organize my home.

Soup.
With which cartoon character do you share personality traits? Bugs Bunny. I can be a highly verbal smart ass.

Salad.
What time of day (or night) were you born? The stroke of midnight. The hospital told my mother that legally I could not be born at midnight -- that in order to put a date on my birth certificate she had to choose between 11:59 PM and 12:01 AM. She went with the latter. I have had my astrological chart done twice, and this factoid completely freaked out both astrologers. I was born on the cusp of the cusp!

Main Course.
Tell us something special about your hometown. Some of America's most creative citizens have lived here: Frank Lloyd Wright, Hemingway, Edgar Rice Burroughs, and Bob Newhart.

Dessert.
If you could receive a letter from anyone in the world, who would you want to get one from? Gloria Steinem. She has had a profound and ongoing influence on my life.

For more information, or to whip up your own feast, visit www.fridaysfeast.com.

It helps to have a plan

Let's examine the facts:

•  I hate to fly

•  The airlines have twice lost my bags on the ORD/EYW route

•  A major snowstorm is supposed to hit tomorrow, right about the time my flight is supposed to take off

This makes me crazy. At times like this, my mind just won't stop spinning. My flight won't take off on time and I'll miss my connecting flight and I'll never get to Key West. Or my flight will take off but the conditions will be treacherous and I'll end up as a Galcicle in icy Lake Michigan. Or … Given a few hours and my gift for awfulizing, I can easily whip myself up into a frenzy..

So I took steps to protect me from me. First I got a deep tissue massage. Ah … Then I met a friend to exchange Christmas gifts. It was good to blab and gossip and not think about the flights. Then I got home and started to panic again. What it … what if … what if …?

What if my flight is grounded for hours and I miss my connecting flight in Tampa? I sat on the phone with a very nice, very patient customer service rep who held the last seat on a flight to Key West on Saturday. It's super expensive, but it will get me down there. Hopefully I won't need it, hopefully my travel tomorrow will go without a hitch, but just in case it doesn't, I have a plan.

The illusion of control feels almost as delicious as that deep tissue massage.