Still wounded

I keep thinking about the Edwards scandal. (Perhaps because there was no ballgame today.) It occurs to me that what hurt John Edwards most during the primaries is that he was "same old." A white, 50-something male millionaire. Why go with the status quo when you can be part of a campaign that makes history?

But what if Barack Obama had decided not to run this time around? Conventional wisdom was that Hillary Clinton was unstoppable, that she had the big money donors, the celebrity and the Washington pedigree. It would be completely understandable if Obama had been intimidated by the Clinton Machine and decided to wait until 2012.

That would have left John Edwards to represent change, and these days, change infuses the atmosphere. It's very possible that in this scenario, he would be the presumptive nominee. A nomination he would be more than happy to accept in Denver later this month.

And then this awful story comes to light, just weeks before the convention. Where would this have left the party? The country? He was willing to gamble with more than his career. He was playing chicken with the two party system.

I don't care how blue his eyes are. Handsome is as handsome does. John Edwards is defined by a monstrously ugly ego. What's the word I'm looking for here?

Oh, yeah: "Bastard."

DAY 11 -- August 08 Happiness Challenge

I love Pogo. Scrabble, Turbo 21, solitare, slots, Word Whomp ... I don't care which game I begin playing, I never want to stop. If/when I end up with carpal tunnel syndrome, I am certain the cause will not be my job. It will be the hours of fun at Pogo.

Manic Monday #13

How would your friend describe you to someone who has never seen you? Short, pudgy, lively and funny.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? I believe my oldest friend and my best friend would both protect me, to the best of their capabilities. And I can protect myself, because like the Bible says, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."

If you died or went missing, who would miss you? Monday through Friday: my boss would definitely miss me. If they experienced radio silence for a few days, the aforementioned oldest and best friends would miss me. After about a week, my mom would miss me.

If you want to see how other bloggers responded, or to play yourself, click here.

DAY 10 -- August 08 Happiness Challenge

Sleeping in. I did not get out of bed until 10:15 this morning. That is SO not like me. I generally don't need a lot of sleep and used to get bored, just laying in bed doing nothing, unable to sleep. But lately I've been allowing myself the luxury of sleeping in and have begun to enjoy it. Just as there's something delicious about waking up in the morning and not NEEDING to be anywhere at a specific time, it's also a delight to let nature take its course and just wake up when my body thinks it's ready, regardless of what the clock says.

DAY 9 -- 08 August Happiness Challenge

It's no secret to anyone who even knows me slightly that I love the Beatles passionately, Paul most particularly. This weekend my oldest friend and I went to The Fest for Beatle Fans and Saturday I was thrilled to go carrying a wish list from my niece. She recently discovered the Lads herself and requested that I buy her entire birthday (November) and Christmas gifts there. She has all the CDs, but she wants Beatle books, Beatle clothes, Beatle DVDs, Beatle "accessories." Her Lad of Choice happens to be George.

I had so much fun picking out a tshirt, a pin, a necklace and the DVD Concert for George especially for her. It makes me happy for us because it gives us something else to talk about. And it makes me happy for everyone that the Beatles and their music and their message are still popular with high school students, decades after the first Beatlemaniacs screamed over them in 1964.

DAY 8 -- August Happiness Challenge

Today I'm taking a moment to appreciate my boss. As authority figures go, he really is a bright spot -- which is saying a lot, because I have always chafed when confronted with authority.

He treats me like an adult. I come and go as I please because he knows my work is important to me and I won't miss a due date. If he needs me to be in the office at 9:00 AM, he mentions it the afternoon before, and always with humor.

He respects my opinion, and brings me into his confidence on some management issues. He encourages me to defend my work and his critiques are always about the project at hand -- he is confident about his power and position so he never feels he has remind me who's boss.

Do I get annoyed with him? Yes. Of course. We're both human and we work in a high-pressure industry. Plus, let's not forget, he IS my boss. But, if things go as badly for this agency in the fourth quarter as some have predicted, I can't think of anyone (except maybe Don Draper) I'd rather have let me go.

Pardon me while I puke

When you're married to an angel, and a dying one, at that, you would do well to remember to KEEP YOUR PANTS ZIPPED.

John Edwards, you suck.

Song for Your Mood

I picked this up at Kwizgiver's, of course.

If you're happy, the song you find yourself loving is?
"September" by Earth, Wind and Fire

If you're thinking about that special person, that song is?
"No More Lonely Nights" by Paul McCartney

If you're totally pissed off the song is?
"Move Over" by Janis Joplin

If your getting ready to go out that song is?
"Wild Night" by Van Morrison, or by Martha Reeves from the Thelma & Louise soundtrack

If you're trying to learn about yourself, that song is?
"Nothing Ever Happens" by Del Amitri

Your favorite movie song?
"You Don't Know Me" by Jann Arden in My Best Friend's Wedding and (now that it's running through my mind), "Wild Night" by Martha Reeves in Thelma & Louise

If you're feeling let down that song is?
"Stoney End" by Barbra Streisand

If you just want to bust out in some sick dance moves?
"The Boss" by Diana Ross

If you are feeling like you want to just mellow out that song is?
"Sunday Morning," by Maroon 5

DAY 7 -- August Happiness Challenge

I had dinner tonight with my old friend, Mindy. We've known each other since 1979. Tonight she wanted to discuss her sister's tragic illness. I was sorry to hear it, for I've known her sister for years, too. Naturally, that's not my happiness moment.

Today's happiness is the gift of long-standing friendships. Mindy and I have suffered through boy trouble, celebrated her marriage with me as her bridesmaid, we saw our first Bruce Springsteen concert together, we watched Prince Charles marry that kindergarten teacher together from a motel room near Disneyland, we mourned our fathers together, welcomed her sons, have been through career upheavals and promotions together … What brought us together tonight is very sad. But the history we have shared, the easy rapport we have enjoyed since we met decades ago, THAT is what I highlight because it brought me happiness today.

Thursday Thirteen #80 -- COMING SOON to my Shelfari Shelf (at left)

THIRTEEN BOOKS
IN MY TBR PILE

I got almost half of the books that make up my TBR (to be read) pile from the recent library book fair. The majority are light summer reads, yet Labor Day is less than a month away! Can you please see what you can do about getting summer extended so I can finish my reading?

1) The Cat Who Moved a Mountain by Lillian Jackson Braun. Further adventures of Koko, Yum Yum and their human, Qwill. I like reading about the good, gentle people of Moose County more than I enjoy the mysteries.

2) The Cat Who Ate Danish Modern by Lillian Jackson Braun. Even MORE adventures of Koko, Yum Yum and Qwill.

3) Legal Tender by Lisa Scottoline. A mystery thriller built around lady lawyer “Bennie” Rosato, a character I met and liked in another Scottoline book.


4) Lord of the Flies by William Golding. A classic that I read during my own turbulent adolescence; wondering if I’ll still enjoy it now.


5) Boy Meets Girl by Meg Cabot Chick lit, trying a new author. (At she's new to me. I know she has many best-sellers under her belt.)


6) Blonde Ambition: An A List Novel by Zoey Dean. Chick lit, trying a new author.


7) Jemima J by Jane Green. People who love Jane Green (and so far, I’m not one of them) point to this book as her best, so I’m giving her one last chance.


8) Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner Chick lit, trying a new author. Jennifer Weiner has many fans out there, and perhaps I shall end up among them.


9) The Other Side of the Story by Marian Keyes. She’s my favorite chick-lit author. I loved Angels, Last Chance Saloon and Sushi for Beginners, so I’m looking forward to this.


10) Mary, A Historical Novel by Janis Cooke Newman Promises to be a compassionate look at the much-maligned Mary Todd Lincoln. (But it’s more than 700 pages! I should have waited for the paperback and avoided the hernia.)


11) Lily by Paulina Simons. A waitress who lives a quiet life on the sidelines suddenly finds herself embroiled in an NYPD missing person’s case.


12) Accessory to Murder by Elaine Viets. A mystery shopper becomes involved in a designer’s murder; looks like fun – “the mall moll is back.”


13) Till the End of Tom by Gillian Roberts. Another in the entertaining Amanda Pepper mystery series, love the Philadelphia setting.

As I begin each book, I'll put it on my Shelfari shelf. We'll see if I stick to my TBR ile or if a new book seduces me.

Include your link in the comments and I'll add you here (unless your comment annoys me, in which case I'll delete it as quickly as I can):

1) Chelle shares her summer loves
2) Speaking of summer loves, Anthony North shares his definition of the word "love."
3) Hootin' Ani shows us what's under the hood -- and she knows
4) Open Grove Claudia has a great list of free software
5) Sandy Carlson brings us along on vacation
6) Baby Mama has a very happy TT
7) Lori gets ready for fall
8) Lilibeth teases us with 13 odd-looking items from around the house
9) Meju takes us back in TV Time
10) Journeywoman has a very imaginative TT
11) Lisa is working way her through the alphabet and she's reached W
12) Adelle has a taste-tempting TT
13) Poppingbubbles highlights her favorite blogs
14) Go check out Danielle's first TT
15) Nina's TT is a scrapbooker's dream
16) Yasmin shares her favorite summer memories
17) Chris has a funny, revealing gay-themed TT
18) Lori tells us what Lori needs.
19) Heather takes us to the zoo
20) JC's TT is about a subject JC is THE expert on
21) Storyteller touches on grief and letting go
22) Yummy tells you what NOT to look for in a fitness coach

P.S. MAJOR APOLOGY FOR LAST WEEK! Sorry I was unable to visit many TTers. First things got mega-busy at work. Then the Blogger Bots locked me away from my own dashboard! But this week I promise I'll do better.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

DAY 06 -- August Happiness Challenge

That I can. This morning, when I was moving into my new wallet, I realized how much nickels annoy me. They don't belong in my penny piggy bank, I can't use them for the coin-operated laundry machines downstairs, they are often rejected by the vending machines at work … You see my point. So I moved the offensive coins from my wallet to my jeans pocket and dropped them into the cup of the homeless man I always see next to the newspaper vending machines. "Blessings to you, young lady!" he smiled. I made him happy. With just 30¢ or so, I made another human being happy.

Today at lunchtime I'm going to swing by CVS and pick up some crayons or maybe a glue stick to accompany the packet of #2 pencils and the ruler I have here for the school supplies drive my office building is having this week. I enjoy thinking of the backpack they are going into as some enthusiastic kid starts a NEW school year with NEW supplies.

There are many reasons to give. As Bruce Springsteen says, "Nobody wins unless everybody wins." There's the old Golden Rule. Karma and/or Christian faith. But there's also the sheer joy you can get, thinking about the impact your little act of kindness can have on another person. It's the cheapest high you can get.

Also, it reminds me to be grateful that I can give.

DAY 5 -- August 08 Happiness Challenge

My cat, Miss Charlotte. She doesn't get much attention in this blog because her feline style doesn't lend itself to anecdotes. She isn't noisy and wild, like Reynaldo. Nor is she a big, old charmer like Joey. But she has a valiant little spirit, and she helps make each morning brighter.

We have our own routine, she and I. After my shower, I sit on the side of my bed and slather on shea body butter. She sits on the bed beside me, chatting a bit. Then I go into the bathroom and begin applying my makeup in that brighter light. Charlotte hops onto the toilet seat and observes this process carefully. This is our time. The boys -- Joe and Rey -- are frequently racing around up and down the hall. Charlotte doesn't go in for such noisy and reckless behavior. She's happy to watch me apply eyeshadow and mascara, occasionally sharing her thoughts on cosmetics and skin care.

Charlotte and I have an evening ritual, too. After I get home from work, she sits beside me as a I sort the day's mail. While I set the envelopes aside for recycling, she butts me gently with her head and fills me in about what she did all day -- which, I imagine, consists mainly of napping on the sofa, sitting on the window sill and watching the tree move in the breeze, batting the ball with the bell around a bit, and then sleeping more seriously under the bed.

Neither as tough, nor as brave as the boys, Charlotte is shy around strangers. But with me she is friendly and affectionate. She came here terrified and homeless, first abandoned by her original owners and then displaced because of a fire at the animal shelter. But she's made this place her home, and having her here makes each day a bit brighter.

Tuesday Tunes #7

What have you been listening to the most lately? and why?

Marcia Ball. She's not a new artist, far from it, but she's new to me. She writes most of her own stuff, she plays a great boogie-woogie piano, and her voice is warm and bluesy. My best friend turned me on to her and so far my favorite songs are "My Heart and Soul" (Peace, Love and BBQ) and "The Right Tool for the Job" (Live! Down the Road).

To play along yourself, click here.

DAY 4 -- August 08 Happiness Challenge

Keyser Söze. That arch-villain makes me happy.

It's a stormy night, one that's been marked by lightening and tornado warnings. The Cub game was called because the weather is so violent. But I'm safe and dry, wearing my pjs, curled up on the sofa, watching The Usual Suspects yet again. Gabriel Byrne is yummy and Kevin Spacey has never been better. The script is delicious. Knowing this movie as well as I do makes the repeat viewings more satisfying. So right now, at this moment, I'm enjoying the happiest moment of my day.

Manic Monday #17

Using no more than 10 nouns, and ONLY nouns, describe yourself. Daughter, sister, aunt, friend, writer, loner, activist, partisan, dreamer, "hormone hostage."

If you owned your own store, what would you sell? Predominantly books, with a stack or two of greeting and notecards.

If you were to name the most comforting thing for you to hold in your hands, what would it be? My ginormous gray and white tomcat, Joey. Only technically speaking, he doesn't like to be held if that involves lifting him up. He does adore being petted and hugged, and it's incredibly comforting when he just comes over to be near me. He presses his warm old furry bod against me and purrs. In those moments, we are both the picture of "contentment."

To play along yourself, or to see how others answered, click here.

What's the status of the death penalty in this state?

Thought I'd check before I strangle my coworker with my bare hands.

These offices officially close at noon at Fridays in the summer. Whether or not an employee gets to leave is dependent upon work load and deadlines. Friday at about 10:30 our boss gave us his input on a project that's being presented to the client tomorrow morning (meaning it has to be done by end of day today). She didn't like his changes because they made the copy too long for her pre-established layout. The thing of it is, the new copy was all quotes. It's unethical and (perhaps) illegal for us to edit the quotes as extensively as she'd like. She didn't want to revise her layout too much because, well, she had a hair appointment at noon.

Did she come back to the office after her hair appointment? No. Did she take the work home with her so she could work on it over the weekend? No. As soon as she left the office Friday, she forgot all about it.

Well, now it's Monday. The morning she just kinda figured would never arrive has. No, she didn't come in at dawn to catch up. And she forgot that we have a meeting that will run from 10:00 to 11:00. We were originally supposed to present it internally immediately after that meeting ends. I don't know how she will incorporate the revisions -- and do the good job our client deserves-- in less than an hour.

I hate this! My work -- the words -- is done. But I have to sit here, helplessly worrying about quality control and getting stress stomach waiting on her. She, naturally, is the victim in all this. All those pesky words have ruined her layout, she has to do it over again, and there simply isn't time!

My boss, God bless him, got us until 1:00 to present it internally. I asked him when he was going to tell her. Crafty old dog that he is, he smiled and said, "Not now but soon. I just want to push her a little this morning."

You know, if it was really a jury of my peers -- writers who have endured art directors like her -- I may just get off with a light sentence.

"I don't like you, but I love you"

Much has been written about how atmospherically correct AMC's Mad Men is, how true to the era the sets and the clothing are. The mores, too. I appreciate the attention to detail and it does make the show more fun to watch.

But for me, Don Draper is the biggest draw. He's fascinating. Not just because of his self-made man, Gatsby personal history. Not only because I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how he really feels about his wife … or his boss … or anyone, for that matter. That tantalizing remoteness that both attracts and repels me in real life does the trick on TV, too. But it's not his backstory that makes Mad Men appointment viewing for me.

The thing that draws me most to Don Draper is that when he's shown with clients or his creative department, I sense he could be dropped into an agency today and be an effective leader. He has those vaunted "big ideas," but they're rooted in good business sense, and he has just enough integrity to inspire loyalty.

For better or worse, Don Draper is true to life.

DAY 3 -- August 08 Happiness Challenge

There was the most completely adorable couple on the bus today. They were each easily 80 and very fit. He had snow white hair and wore a dark polo shirt and khakis. She was a symphony in light green -- slacks, scarf, and sweater set (even though it's August and over 80º). When they reached their stop, he rose first and held out his hand to help her from her seat. I watched them walk up the block, arm in arm, and noticed they were in step with one another. They were also chatting animatedly. They were a real matched set.

They cared about how they looked -- I assume, to remain attractive to each other. They still had a lot to say, even after what I guess is decades together. And he was so gentlemanly toward her.

Think about all the holidays they have spent together, or perhaps apart, if he served overseas. All the sleepless nights they shared, worrying first about sick little ones and then over teenagers who were out with the family car after dark. All the conversations and arguments about money. The college educations and the weddings they may have provided for. The grandchildren they have seen christened. All the election returns they watched together, perhaps having cancelled one another's votes. The parents and now friends and neighbors they have mourned.

Yet, as they walk arm in arm up the street, their eyes still meet and they still have much to say.

I don't know these two, but whoever they are, observing them brought me real joy today.

"The check is in the mail"

So my new freelance client tells me. It better be, because today I spent the money.

I took a writing assignment for the friend of a former coworker. It was fun, a nice respite from the financial services I write at my straight job. Plus it made me happy and proud that I was able to make my former coworker look so good.

Oh, and there's the incremental $412.50. That's nice, too.

Today I spent just over half of it. I bought a Roomba 415 (newer than my current, two year old, much loved, but no longer working well Roomba) and got a pedi at the local salon that is good enough to be open on Sundays. (Puerto Vallerta Violeta again. Maria the manicurist complimented me on how soft my heels are! I feel like I got a gold star on my homework.)

I'm having lunch on Tuesday with the former coworker who set this up. I've already done a couple of quick assignments for her this year, too. I wonder if Tuesday will be business or social. With the agency world as it is right now, I should snap like a turtle at any incremental income that's offered to pay for luxuries like vacuum cleaning robots and Sunday pedis.

DAY 2 -- August 08 Happiness Challenge

Today's choice is easy and obvious … "Go, Cubs, go! Hey, Chicago, what do you say? Cubs are gonna win today." So they did! 5-1 vs. the Pirates.

For me, Cubs baseball is more than just a spectator sport. Two of the most passionate Cub fans I've ever known, my dad and my grandmother, would have loved this team. This manager, too. Lou Pinella reminds me of Leo the Lip from my long-ago girlhood. The Cubs are my continuity, the thread that runs from summer to summer and generation to generation, and I feel privileged that I was able to take my nephew to his first game last month. I hope it helps him feel connected to the family Cub fans he'll never get to meet.

Saturday 9 -- The Lazy Days of Summer

1. What is your favorite summer drink? Coke. Always a favorite.

2. What is the best summer sport to play? Bike riding. Don't know if it counts as a sport, really, more an "activity."

3. What’s the best summer sport to watch? Baseball. Specifically Chicago Cubs baseball!

4. Do you like the ocean, the pool or the lake? My favorite thing is to watch the shore go by from a boat, so I prefer oceans and lakes to pools.

5. Some folks drink whiskey in the winter and gin, tequila (margaritas) or rum drinks in the summer. Does you alcohol of choice change? Nope. I believe Jimmy Buffett has the right idea about ordering Boat Drinks all year around.

6. What is your favorite summer song? God, I'm old. "Silly Love Songs." (1976)

7. What was your best summer growing up? How old were you and why was it best? 8th grade. I was 13. I had more freedom than ever before and more money (due to my gradeschool graduation) and felt quite womanly.

8. Have you ever had a summer romance that you knew would end? Yes. He was much younger than I so I knew we had no long-term prospects. But, oh, my, it was glorious fun for a time. We started wonderfully in May and limped to an end in April, so it lasted longer than I thought it would.

9. How old were you when you first went skinny-dipping? Who were you with? To this day I've never skinny-dipped. And I won't, at least not in daylight. There are places on this fair old bod that I DO NOT want to be sun burned … ever!

To play along yourself, or to check out other bloggers' answers, click here.

I wish I knew how I felt

I am in the midst of what may very well be my last period. I thought this would be a big deal. Maybe it is, but I have been preoccupied by the migraines I have gotten Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights. The one Wednesday night/Thursday dawn was debilitating, causing me to miss a half day of work and a meeting. I'm trying to be smart and to remember everything my doctor told me about when to dose to minimize the impact.

There's a certain symmetry to this. I can still recall my long-ago first period. It was summertime, too. We were on vacation at that lake we went to every year. I really didn't feel well at all. Part of it was the stomach problems that accompanied the stress of being trapped in the car for hours with my family, part of it was the excitement of being on vacation, and part of it was new and unknown to me -- my first-ever menstrual cramps.

At the beginning of the process, I was emotionally distracted from the enormity of what was happening to me by tummy trouble. Now at the end of Fertility Road, I am preoccupied with migraines. Maybe Mother Nature was protecting me then and is protecting me now. Maybe I'm not supposed to ruminate on the changes that are taking place.

DAY 1 -- August 08 Happiness Challenge

It's August, and that means it's time to see if this Old Gal is up to the challenge -- to share something that brings me JOY each day this month.

Today it's the local book sale. It's the library's major fundraiser, and quite an event. People line up around the block to get in and check out all the books. It's been going on for 38 summers, and while I haven't been here that long, I've been doing this long enough that I have my own personal traditions to observe:

First, I support the public library by making donations from my own personal library. Dropped it off earlier this week.

Second, I fill up a bag o'books at the sale. $6 got me 7 books. Mostly chick lit, a Lisa Scottoline mystery, and Lord of the Flies, which I haven't read in decades and am curious to see if I'll enjoy it on the reread.

Third, I examine the tables to see which once-popular book my village is now so over. Last year it was The Nanny Diaries. This year, the winner of this dubious distinction is … (drum roll, please) … The Da Vinci Code! Congratulations, Dan Brown!

Finally, I stop at Tasty Dog on the way home and pick up a value meal. I'm dining on my fries right now.

It's a happy way to start August.

Hats off to Mo for introducing me to the challenge last year.

Miss me?

e o
The Blogger robots came by yesterday and decided I was one of them. This was deemed a "spam blog" and I was locked out of my own dashboard. I had to wait for an actual, real-live human to review my musings, confirm that I do indeed write like a human myself, and unlock me. It was a harrowing experience, but it's behind us now!

Anyway, I apologize to all those TT'ers who visited me yesterday. I was unable to check in with all of you during the day because of an excess of pesky old work. Then last night I endured my Battle with the Bots. So please forgive me.

Thursday Thirteen #79 -- Remembering the Ladies

The 13 Most Influential First Ladies

I’m fascinated by our First Ladies. It’s such a public position, and yet it’s so undefined. Each woman who has held it has made it her own, finding individual ways to balance the support of her husband and family with her duties as a representative of the United States. Because the job has no formal parameters, she can be as involved (Eleanor Roosevelt), or as remote (Bess Truman), as she wishes to be.

The Research Institute at Sienna College in upstate New York regularly reviews the First Ladies and, with the help of 90 history and poli sci professors from across the United States, ranks them based on their integrity, intelligence, courage, value to country, value to the President, leadership, public image, and “being her own woman.”

Here’s the latest ranking:
1. Eleanor Roosevelt
2. Abigail Adams
3. Dolly Madison
4. Jacqueline Kennedy
5. Hillary Clinton
6. Rosalyn Carter
7. Lady Bird Johnson
8. Betty Ford
9. Edith Roosevelt
10. Sarah Polk
11. Edith Wilson
12. Louisa Adams
13. Martha Washington

Two First Ladies who bounce around in the ratings from decade to decade – Hillary and Jackie – met and liked each other. Interestingly, Jackie’s stock has risen since her death, while Hillary’s dropped after she left the White House for the Senate. Of course, these rankings were established before Hillary’s historic run for President. She may rank higher again these days. (And I wonder what the folks at Sienna would have done with Bill had she had been elected.)

I admire Jackie enormously because she represents what I wish I was, but ain’t: Cool and self-contained, feminine yet strong. That she was only 31 when she became First Lady simply amazes me. How did she come up with that much poise, that much style, and that much sheer intestinal fortitude at such a young age? Internationally, she represented us with grace. Domestically, her goal was to make us proud of our young heritage with projects like state dinners at Mount Vernon and restoring the White House. She could also be very shrewd. To finance the restoration, she initiated the sale of White House souvenir books. Her husband’s advisers warned her that the public would reject this as crass. They were wrong. Decades after the Kennedy-era restoration was paid for, profits from the souvenir books were still saving taxpayers money by defraying the cost of White House maintenance.

I have been learning about Abigail Adams from both the extraordinary HBO miniseries and a book by Phyllis Lee Levine. Wife of one President, mother to another, she was an influence on Jefferson, as well. Forward thinking, literate, patriotic and loving, she is a revelation and inspiration to me. (Since both Mrs. Adamses made the list, I wondered how that other Presidential mother-in-law/daughter-in-law duo rates. Laura Bush is #24 and Barbara Bush came in at #15.)

But two First Ladies that I also feel fondness for because of the extraordinarily tough rows they had to hoe are ranked close to the bottom: Pat Nixon at 33 and Mary Lincoln at 36. Pat Nixon was the epitome of grace under ongoing and unimaginable pressure, even though she was completely blameless in Watergate. Mary Lincoln had in-laws who fought for the Confederacy and, like Jackie, had to bury both a son and a husband before she left the White House. My heart aches for these two, and I think those historians and professors should give them a break.

Leave your link in comments and I'll add you here (unless your comment annoys me, in which case I will delete it as soon as I can):

SORRY, EVERYONE! SLAMMED TODAY AT WORK AND MAY NOT BE ABLE TO GET TO YOUR TT'S TODAY!

1)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Why do they do it this way?

"Hi, I'm calling from Dr. Charles' office. Please call us regarding your test results. Ask for Maria or Dora."

I got up from my desk for just a moment to grab something off the copy machine, and naturally that is the very moment that this call has to come in! I called back immediately, my heart in my throat. Years ago I had carcinoma in situ (a pre-cancerous condition) in this very spot, so naturally I was frightened.

I was on hold for eight tense minutes, listening to the tinkly New Age music they think will relax us. When Maria finally came on the line, she said, "Everything is fine. We will need to see you next year, though."

WHY COULDN'T SHE HAVE JUST LEFT THAT ON MY VOICE MAIL? I asked them to do that very thing when I had the exam. I said that both my home and my office voice mail were secure and that it was absolutely, 100% OK to leave the results on either line. The doctor scribbled it on my folder and handed it to the nurse. And then this.

Of course, I was so grateful that everything is OK that instead of complaining, I just thanked her profusely. What do you bet we go through this again next year? I only hope the same happy results delivered in a less-than-ideal way.

Me and Stitch

Remember this adorable space alien? He was "programmed to destroy," and it took all of his self-control to tone it down and at least try to fit in with Lilo and the rest of his new earth family. Stitch and I have something in common. I have to fight the impulse to do what I seem to have been programmed to do …

Fix things.

One of my coworkers gives me a great deal of agita. For the past year, I have been trying to warn of what should be obvious -- our agency is in trouble. The rumors are buzzing through the halls and one of the daily papers keeps dutifully reporting everything that goes wrong. While I hope the rumors are just hot air, I have reminded her that none of us can afford to operate solely on hope. We should keep our shoulders to the wheel, give our clients the best possible service, and try very hard to give management reasons to KEEP US AND NOT LET US GO, should it come to that.

Yet my coworker remains remarkably uninvolved with her job. She's the one who provides the graphics that illustrate my words, so we work closely together. Last week and now this week, I have had to push her to do more than bare minimum. Today I told her that releasing a brochure that we know looks bad amounts to "malpractice." We need to revisit it and improve it. I must have tweaked her conscience because she came through and did a good job.

Then she told me that our other project would have to be "on hold" until Wednesday because she just couldn't get to it today. She feels stretched too thin. I told her I'd discuss it with our boss. I didn't want her doing it, because she has already earned a reputation with him of not caring very much. I thought he'd take it better from me. Um … he didn't. He said, "You can have an extra day or two. But if she's so worried about due dates, maybe she should hang up the phone once in a while." Gulp.

He's right, of course. She's not very dedicated to this job, and she doesn't care who sees it. I feel like I'm carrying her and I resent it.

On the other hand, she hasn't asked me to look out for her, so I guess it shouldn't offend me when she doesn't heed my unsolicited advice. And since she is borderline annoying at best, I wonder why I can't leave well enough alone and let her sink or swim on her own.

I know why. She told me how much she (over)paid for her new condo. She needs this job. And because this is how I'm like Stitch: I'm programmed, too. I'm programmed to fix things, and I don't know how to stop.

5 Runs on 7 Hits = One Helluva 6th Inning

The Cubs' bats are wide awake again! Even Zambrano got an RBI! It was a pitcher's duel until the sixth and then the offense exploded. After that enchanted 5-run sixth, they came through with two more runs for a final score of 7-1. This means that the Brewers are now 3 games back. Hopefully we'll keep beating them and they'll recede even further in the rearview mirror.

Tuesday Tunes #6

This week is word associations. The drill: Tell me the first song, artist, album, instrument or other musical thing that comes to mind when you see these words.

Cat: Stevens
Fish: Country Joe and the ...
Dog: "Martha, My Dear"
Comical: Weird Al
Pretentious: "A Whiter Shade of Pale"
Intelligent: "Life on Mars"
Park: "Your Mama Don't Dance and Your Daddy Don't Rock'n'Roll"
Make-up: Kiss
Box: "Squeeze Box"
Toy: "(Let Me Be Your) Teddy Bear"

To play along yourself, or to see how other bloggers responded, click here.

Nailbiters are fun ... if we win them!

Big game tonight, with the Cubs battling the Brewers for sole possession of first, and my boys in blue won 6-4. It was a come from behind victory, and the final result was in doubt from the very beginning as the Cubs and the Brewers traded the lead back and forth for more than three hours. I love games like this -- where every at-bat is a duel between pitcher and hitter. Home-run powered blow-outs are satisfying once in a while, but games like this ... where every pitch and every swing matters ... are deliciously tense. Especially because 1st place in the division was on the line.

Especially when the CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!

Beware! Blogthings warns you against me.

You Are 24% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.

In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Well, the ferris wheel went well

I took my California-based nephew out for his 21st birthday celebration and lived to tell the tale. I'm not sure how he's doing this morning, though.

1) We started with dinner at 6:15 at Miller's Pub. We each had prime rib, with potatoes and baby carrots. I had a pomegranate martini, he had a mojito (first legal drink!) and a beer.

2) Then we walked over to Navy Pier, wandered around and rode the ferris wheel. I know it's a touristy thing to do, but he's a tourist, after all. And walking to the pier, around the pier, and riding in the mostly open-air ferris wheel car would be good for him, if he intended to do a night of drinking. He was happy with all the skyline photos he was able to take from that height.

3) A stroll over to The Regal Beagle. We had cheese fondue (a favorite of his when he was a little boy) and he had a Tequila Sunrise and I had some rum drink named for Tony Danza. (It amused me.)

4) We took a cab across town to a bar he had researched, only to find that, at midnight Sunday night/Monday morning, they were closed. So we asked the cabbie to take us back to the neighborhood I'm more familiar with. We ended up at the Sax Bar near the House of Blues. Lotus Martini for me, Tequila Sunrise for him.

5) We walked (rather shakily on his part) to Mother Hubbard's, a lovely bar with a 4:00 AM license. I switched to ice water, he switched to Corona. It's now 1:00 AM. Before he could finish his first beer, the house bought him a shot of tequila for his birthday. Which he manfully downed … and promptly vomited. (Twice.) I was surprised that he came out to finish his beer and order another one. We played a game of pool and he forgot to finish it.

Then we walked over to the train station. Naturally all the commuter trains had departed for the night, but the station is a good place to get a cab. All the way over he kept asking, "How far IS IT?" I pretended I didn't hear him and kept babbling about different sites as we walked along the Chicago River. If he needed to deposit the contents of his stomach anywhere, I wanted it to be on an empty city street, not in the cab or my mom's carpet. We got home via cab at 2:30, he was "home" to my mom's before 3:00.

I learned that my nephew is high-energy and finds most things funny. That he worries about a friend who is in the service and has seen duty in Afghanistan (he wears a pair of dog tags with his own name on them to show solidarity). That he sees himself as a party monster, that he loves AC/DC and Beevis and Butthead … and my mom (his grandma). That even with an assist from lots of fresh air, starches and carbs, he really should stick to beer.

Here's hoping that he enjoyed his 21st birthday in Chicago. I'm not checking in on him, though. I think he needs his sleep.

Another Mary moment

In August I'm spending the weekend with that dear old friend. No, not Cathy. This is the one who, since mid-April, has been so overwhelmed by big issues with her career and her family, and by the dramatic and over-the-top issues of some of her new friends, that she hasn't been able to hear or retain any of things I've told her about my life: Like how unpleasant it is to read in the morning paper that your job may be on the line, or how my former boss almost died and still (more than three months later) isn't anywhere near well. It's been suggested that I tend to take things in stride and perhaps she finds surrounding herself with others who have even bigger problems (or who are at least more hysterical than she is) may be a comfort to her right now. I can understand that intellectually.

I don't really want to do our annual getaway. I will spend it listening to her on her cell to her kids who, due to lack of supervision, will be having one crisis after another. I will hear how broke she is. I will hear how ungrateful her kids are, how her boyfriend takes her granted, what meds she's taking just to get through the day.

I have tried to convince her that her daughter still needs a sitter, but to no avail. I have tried to help her come up with ways to increase her take-home pay. I have done my best to point out that while her boyfriend may not be as wonderful as she thought he was at the beginning of their relationship, he's also not as crappy as she sees him now. It's as though my suggestions are unwelcome -- like she doesn't want help, she wants an audience. I don't know how to do that. I want to make things better.

Today I bought her a $25 Visa gift card. She can either use when we're away together or save it to pay for gas and back to school. I want to make the gesture because 1) I do understand that she's frightened about money and 2) maybe it will elevate her mood a little, so I can have a nice time. It seems like something Mary Richards would have done, doesn't it?

I know I sound like a bitch in this post, but really, I'm just hurt. She's my oldest friend and it's painful to know that unless I am hanging on a ledge by my fingertips, I'm simply not worth listening to.

I'm used to being the lumpy, funny one. Mary is an uncomfortable role to play. But till my friend gets through this period in her life, I don't know what else to do. I just hope that when this is over, we'll go back to being "the very best of friends" and I will feel the same way about her. Mary would, right?

Whatever happened to Don Johnson?

I'm watching the Kevin Costner golf movie Tin Cup. Don Johnson has a supporting role and he's really very good. Smooth-voiced. glib and, in the words of Costner's Roy, "a soulless robot." Johnson seems like a natural villain. The kind of guy that things always go well for, even though he doesn't deserve it. I wonder why he doesn't work more … Maybe because of his long-ago Miami Vice fame, he's only seen as a hero?

Sweet Lou goes sour

For the first time all season, I woke up to find my Cubs in a TIE for first place! We are sharing our place at the top of the heap with the Brewers. Our pitchers are doing just fine, our fielding is at times heroic, but our offense is, at best, sporadic. When men are on base, the bats go cold.

The frustration is getting to us all, including our skipper. There's something so cathartic in watching Lou go after an umpire. When he vents, he vents for all of us!