Nailah Franklin Update -- Death Penalty Sought

Prosecutors here in Cook County have filed the necessary paperwork to seek the death penalty in the murder of Nailah Franklin.

I am not including a link to the news stories on this matter because they naturally include the suspect's name. I understand why news organizations must do that, but this blog is not journalism, it's my blog. I choose concentrate solely on Nailah Franklin. There was something about this young woman that touched and inspired her family and friends and I don't want her to be forgotten.

She was just 28 when she died last September.
She was a daughter and a sister, one of 5 girls.
She was a good student at Homewood Flossmoor High School and graduated from U of I.
She volunteered at the Chicago Urban League.
She worked for two well-known, well-respected companies, first Leo Burnett and then Eli Lilly.

Her friends fondly remember her sense of style, and how she loved all things Oprah.
Her funeral was attended by hundreds of mourners, who heard Nailah Franklin eulogized as "not just a star, but a superstar."

Vodka helps

I had dinner with my former boss this evening. I really wasn't looking forward to it, because he's discovered he has prostate cancer and wanted to explain his condition and his treatment options. I was worried about how he would look, how he would act, and how I would respond to it.

It was fine.

He enjoys talking about it. I know that may sound weird, but it's how he is. Talking about it, joking about it, and explaining it in detail demystifies it for him. So all I had to do was remain composed when he compared and contrasted radiation and surgery, told me his and his wife's rate of intercourse (twice a month) and that, because of the meds he's on, he no longer ejaculates.

The cosmo helped.

I promised him we'd do this again before his surgery next month. I'll be more used to it each time we meet.

Mom was right

When I was a little girl, I had to be in bed before The Fugitive came on. It was my parents' favorite show and they tried never to miss it, so every week I heard the theme music through the bedroom wall. I knew Dr. Richard Kimble was wrongly convicted of a murder he didn't commit -- like the Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island, the show opened each week by restating the premise (though not in song).

A local TV station has begun airing reruns and I am my mother's daughter -- I've become hooked on the adventures of Dr. Richard Kimble. Unlike the Harrison Ford movie, this series concentrates on Kimble's day-to-day adventures as a fugitive, always on the run, taking menial jobs, working hard to fit in and not be noticed, as he simultaneously looked over his shoulder for Lt. Gerard -- the dogged detective he escaped -- as well as the one-armed man he believed killed his wife.

I love Janssen's horrible weariness, and his voyeurism. Every week he finds himself drawn into the lives of everyday citizens: a mother and son, abused by the man of the house … a stewardess who has just discovered the man she loves is married … farmworkers who are exploited by land owners … Kimble is sure he could help and he's tempted to stay, except he's got Gerard behind him and a date with the one-armed man ahead of him.

There's an interesting class dynamic at work on this show. Richard Kimble may be a convicted murderer, but he's also a surgeon -- which in TV land makes him smarter and more sophisticated than the food servers and fruit pickers he now moves among. Since the show aired in the early-mid 1960s, everyone smoked and drank. I love the back-combed hairdos, the enormous rotary dial phones, and how the men all wear suits and ties, even to go to the movies or a ball game.

And then there's the basic tension of the show: How long can he stay in one place? How long must he keep running? Can he find the one-armed man before he kills again?

Like my mom, I love this show.

Maybe this will help

I woke up with a tenacious, nagging headache that I just can't shake. I think it's because the air in here may not be as fresh as it could be. Cat fur/dander and litter dust, pollution that accompanies being as close to the train as I am, an antiquated heating system … I've got one of these air filter towers in my bedroom and have ordered a second for my living room. Hopefully this will help. It can't hurt, and it certainly has to be better for me than handsful of OTC painkillers. (I fear I'm becoming the Marilyn Monroe of Advil.)

Appropos of nothing

He's a dependable day brightener, isn't he?

Good news! Good news!

This blog has been quite the downer lately, hasn't it? Well now I either have something positive to concentrate on, or something negative to forget about (depending on my mood). My brother-in-law starts a new job on Monday! He's had a rough time financially/professionally since last summer. Hopefully this will be a stable new beginning for him.

What's more, his wife (my spoiled baby sister) is actually working, too! She recently became a teacher's aide. The job ends when the schoolyear does, but it gives them enough to make the mortgage payment in March, April and May.

One less thing to worry about. One more thing to smile about.

As Cher would say, "Snap Out Of It!"

My former boss recently found he has prostate cancer. I sent him a note and quoted the Beatles, "Anytime at all, all you gotta do is call, and I'll be there."* I meant it when I wrote it.

This Monday afternoon he's having a consultation and another round of tests at a Loop hospital and asked if I'd meet him afterward. He wants to have a drink, unwind and talk about it before he goes home. I said yes. I meant it when I said it.

But now I'm apprehensive. This is getting all too real for me. To be honest, I don't want to go. I don't even want it to be happening.

First of all, it's his prostate. What do I know about prostates? I've talked about every bloody aspect of uterine fibroids without so much as a shiver, so it's not that I'm squeamish. It's just that it's the male reproductive system this time.

Secondly, it's cancer. I know it's non-aggressive, and I realize that since it was discovered when he was over 50, he's more likely to die of something else. But I reject him even having cancer! He and his wife have always been a very well matched couple, and now that their daughter has grown up successfully and gone, he's seemed so satisfied with his marriage and his life. I simply do not want him to have cancer. Not him, not now. No.

So I'm uncomfortable, sad and scared.

I know how this sounds: "me, me, me," and "I, I, I." I'm a selfish little beast, aren't I? HE is the one who is ill! And it would be even more monstrously selfish if I let him see how rattled this has left me.

So I'm mentally cracking myself across the face and admonishing myself to "Snap out of it!"

*Yes, it is SO the Beatles. I hate that a generation will think it was written for a bank ATM commercial!

Friday's Feast #32

Appetizer
On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 as highest), how much do you like your own handwriting? Nine. My writing is distinctive and kinda pretty.

Soup
Do you prefer baths or showers? If I've got time, I prefer baths.

Salad
What was the last bad movie you watched? Valley of the Dolls. Deliciously awful.

Main Course
Name something you are addicted to and describe how it affects your life. Classic Coke. I'm sure it would be easier to lose weight if I could cut back and switch to water.

Dessert
Which instrument is your favorite to listen to? Piano. No, guitar. No, piano …

For more information, or to serve up your own feast, visit Fridaysfeast.com.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #58 -- What I Heard while Snooping

THIRTEEN CONVERSATIONS
I RECENTLY OVERHEARD

In January, I posted how the couple at the next table were blatantly, unashamedly eavesdropping on a friend and me as we chatted and dined. I didn’t think we were particularly interesting, nor worthy of the full attention of two strangers. But then, I thought, maybe we were. I wondered about the quality of the conversation swirling around me, tried to remember to remove my iPod, and listened in.

Here are 13 recently overheard conversations. Are they interesting? Let's just say I'm not leaving the house without my iPod ever again.

1) “Mom, I can’t believe you gave him the $500!” A man on his cell outside a restaurant. Apparently his son conned his mother (the boy’s grandmother) into “lending” him $500 for spring break.

2) “He demands a three-year commitment from all his new hires.”
“I don’t think that’s legal.”
"Yeah but he's from Europe. I wonder if he knows that."
Two women in the healthclub locker room, changing back into street clothes and discussing the first woman’s job search

3) “We have to find hot sauce.”
“I don’t think they have it here.”
“He puts hot sauce on everything!”
A pair of coworkers in line in front of me at Au Bon Pain, bringing lunch to a third who likes it spicy.

4) “You’re sure getting out of here early.”
“I’m going to get a shoe shine. He takes his time. Good way to start the weekend.”
“My wife has my weekend planned. You know, the ‘Honey Do’ list.”
Now to look at this dialog, you’d think these men were on the verge of retirement but no, they were in their 30s. I rode the elevator to the lobby with them one recent Friday.

5) “Don’t kiss me! Your cigar smells like fart!”
Woman to man picking her up at the train station. He laughed and hugged her shoulder. They seemed happy to see one another even though his cigar did indeed smell like fart.

6) “I was glad when the storm knocked that tree house down. It never looked safe to me.”
Woman seated behind me on the train. Here’s one time I was tempted to turn around and join the conversation. If the tree house never looked safe to you, how could you let your kids play in it?

7) “He seems chipper but, I dunno, under the surface there’s something. I think it’s because he doesn’t have any goals or objectives to work toward. That would make me sad, too.”
“I wish he would just face it and cry about it or something. Stop trying to be so strong or resilient or whatever. Maybe if he just faced it and dealt with it, he could make it better.”
Two women on the train, discussing their underemployed friend. Apparently he was let go in and has been unable to find a new position in his chosen profession.

8) “I told her I don’t know what she wants me to do about it! I mean, like, come on! It’s not like there’s a course at the high school called ‘vocabulary!’ Shit!”
“I don’t know why you care. She’s not your mother or even a teacher.”
Two high school girls, both wearing Obama buttons, walking up the street as they complained about some adult in their lives. I was intrigued because the first girl talked so fast and the second one spoke soooooo slooooow.

9) “Did he actually touch you?”
“No. But he came close. It was scary. It was right there in front of Macy’s!”
Couple I stood beside while waiting at a streetlight. The topic was not as it seemed. She was explaining why she doesn’t drive downtown anymore, so I assume it was her bumper that was almost touched.

10) “When was Ronald Reagan canonized, anyway? I never thought very much of him.”
“Yeah. And didn’t he have Alzheimer’s during his second term?”
Theatergoers seated beside us. This conversation completely freaked me out because a friend and I had a similar conversation earlier that very day! What are the odds?

11) “She said when she needed help to go to the bathroom, that was it. That’s when she wanted to die. Then she died in her sleep.”
“Good for her. She went in her own way.”
Two older ladies – one in a wheelchair – at the museum, discussing a mutual friend.

12) “Oh, you’re kidding! That is so arrogant.”
“I wish it had been a male hooker.”
“Men like that think they’re above the law and they aren’t.”
I assume these two women were talking about NY Gov. Elliott Spitzer, but I’m not 100% sure. I was eavesdropping on them while helping a coworker select a new suitcase at lunchtime.

13) “She’s in the hospital? NO! Things were going well for her!”
“She’s always having trouble with weight. I bet she’s been dieting too much.”
Two women in our breakroom, responding to a news story about Janet Jackson’s bout with the flu.

Leave your link in the comments and I'll add you here:
1) susiej has a delicious TT
2) Malcolm reminds us why we got up early on Saturdays
3) Chuck takes us shopping for her costume
4) Nicole Austin has a techno TT
5) Nicholas tries to help us speak English
6) Open Grove Claudia helps us shake off the doldrums
7) Adelle has an upbeat spring TT
8) Mama Kelly has a movie TT (and I LOVE movie TTs)
9) Susan introduces us to some great (albeit fictional) broads
10) Lori has an important relationship TT
11) Journeywoman has an admirable TT
12) Grandmother Wren is in a St. Paddy's Day mood
13) Linda's TT is brought to us by the letter C
14) Rims poses 13 questions
15) Bethany looks to the future
16) Dane Bramage is pondering this week
17) I wish Winter had come to my school and shared her TT on career day
18) Emmyrose has an inspirational TT
19) Marcia tempts us with a culinary TT
20) Amy the Black looks back on Mr. Rogers
21) Pop Tart revisits a very important year!
22) Lisa's TT is FFFFantastic!
23) Now go wish Kat a happy birthday!
24) Holly shares 13 nice things
25) Check out ufcfans' FIRST TT
26) Verabear shines a lovelight on her boyfriend in her TT
27) Faith puts her iPod on shuffle
28) Xakara invites us to share 13 awesome moments
29) It's All Good talks chocolate
30) Maggie's Mind has devoted her TT to her mom
31) Chris presents 13 unique weight loss tips
32) Lori shares what's on her bookshelf
33) Nissa sends cards with attitude


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He's here! Now somehow it will all be better.

Oh, I'm still surrounded by problems and heartache: upheaval at work … one friend that I now have a standing date with, on his way home from weekly appointment with his oncologist … another who is heartbroken about parting with her dog … the friend who's wrestling with the unpleasant reality of his divorce … the one who is facing major problems with her kids … the one who is assiduously not facing his need for an implanted defibrilator …

But it's OK because my best friend just rolled into town! Actually, he's in kind of a pissy mood, too, because of the client meetings he's facing all day, but I don't care. He's here! He's here!

I will tell him everything and he will listen and everything will be seem more manageable and in the proper perspective. Also, he can be depended on to make me smile and hug me. I think he's so good at this because he's a dad … Or maybe it's because he's one of the few people in this world who gets me and wouldn't change me, even if he could.

Not working for me, dawg

American Idol felt awkward and forced tonight. Not the performances, I enjoyed those. Brooke ("Let It Be"), Carly ("Come Together") and Amanda ("You Can't Do That") were especially entertaining doing some of the most important songs of my personal soundtrack.

My complaint is with Ryan Seacrest and his "banter" with Simon Cowell. It was adolescent and most of all, not funny. Let's try to remember, gentlemen, that this is a singing competition, not Last Comic Standing.

(I can't believe how into Idol I've become!)

$4,300!

Normally I wouldn't pay much attention to the travails of NY Governor Elliott Spitzer. You see, while most of the nation views our local Tony Rezko trial as being about Barack Obama, here we follow it to find out if/when our current governor will follow our previous governor to prison. So my plate is already full of gubernatorial corruption.

But this is too juicy for this prurient old gal to resist! Elliott Spitzer has presented himself as the new Elliott Ness, a straight arrow who will clean up the mess made by those who don't share his high standards of personal behavior. So to watch him strung up by his own peccadillos is fun.

Spitzer apparently spent $4,300 for a Washington DC assignation with a hooker on 2/13. It's the date that kept going through my mind as I watched Mrs. Spitzer silently stand by her man during his press conference. I've never been a wife, but I think that if I were her, it would really, REALLY bug me that my long-time hubby spent more on a hooker on 2/13 than he did on me the next night, Valentine's Day.

Also, I wonder what a woman has to do to earn $4,300 in one night. I know people who have spent less than that for a good used car. I'm tempted to Google it. Maybe it's time I broaden my horizons.

What the hey?

So I'm waiting patiently for the light in our village's busiest intersection to turn green when I spotted something in the street. First I noticed it was clothing. Rich, berry colored clothing. As I concentrated on it I noticed navy blue flecks. Then I saw they were boxer shorts.

How could anyone lose their berry-colored boxer shorts on the busiest corner in town on such a cold, cloudy day? I'm fascinated.

Oh, goodie!

So this morning, at about 1 AM, I was rinsing out some cans to be recycled. I hadn't been home since Thursday and naturally the sink hadn't been used in days, but even so, I was surprised to see a bug fly up from my drain. So I looked under the sink and guess what. The elbow pipe of my garbage disposal was dripping and smelled very bad.

Naturally I assumed this is why dirty, smelly water had been leaking onto my hallway carpet. However it was after midnight and a representative from the building company and a roofer were scheduled to be here at 9:00 to check out the roof and eliminate that as culprit. It's not like I could call them at that hour and cancel.

The roofer was just here and I showed him and the building rep. (who was wearing a dramatic eye patch) the leak under the sink and the spots in the hall where the carpet had been soaked.

To my surprise, the roofer and the building guy agree that it's neither the roof (the walls look fine, it's only the carpet that's messed up) nor the leaking garbage disposal (while not good, it's not big enough to cause this much damage). They believe it's the pipes in the wall that bring water up to the sink and my toilet. (They are back to back.)

I have no idea what anyone is talking about. I've only ever been in Home Depot once, and that was to use the bathroom. However I am aware that while the pipes under my sink are my responsibility, the pipes in the wall belong to the building.

Sometimes I wish I still rented. I have to remind myself how much I enjoyed that big ass tax refund, courtesy of all that mortgage interest. And that even in a slow real estate market this place is worth more than 35% more than it was when I bought it, and where else could I have gotten that return on an investment? Pissed as I am right now, I love my neighborhood, I'm even kinda fond of this place, and it's my security against living in a refrigerator box on Lower Wacker Drive.

An imaginative way to spend a weekend

It was my oldest friend's idea. She's a member of the The Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library Foundation (ALPLF) and found out through an email blast that they were presenting Having Our Say, a dramatization of The Delaney Sisters' outstanding memoir, right there in the Union Theater of the Lincoln Museum. Since it's a book she placed in my hands more than a decade ago, it was only fitting that she be the one I see the play with.

So we left for Spingfield after work on Friday night. Went to the Library and Museum on Saturday and saw a pair of fabulous new exhibits: "Packaging Presidents" about two centuries of political campaigns and "The Art of War," a very moving exhibit of almost 200 posters that illustrate how we were in WWI and WWII. Had dinner and returned to the museum after hours for the play. Stopped at the hotel bar for laughs and (believe it or not) a couple pots of tea. Took the train back today, and here I am.

It really wasn't expensive at all. Amtrak to and fro was less than $50. The hotel for two nights was $115 for each of us, but admission to the library and breakfast each day were included. The tickets to the play were less than $20 each.

But it was great fun. My oldest friend really makes me laugh. And I learned a lot. I finally saw the infamous LBJ "Daisy commercial," I was introduced to Belva Lockwood (one of America's first female lawyers and a Presidential candidate back in the 1880s), and saw how much was asked of American households in WWII. It was terrific to see Sarah and Bessie Delaney come to life. They "had their say" when they were 103 and 101 years old, the daughters of slaves, who went on to be New York's first female dentist (Bessie) and a Brooklyn home economics teacher (Sadie). I try to live by their advice: "Of every dollar, we put aside the first 10¢ for the Lord and the second dime for a rainy day."

Plus it's nice to get away: sleep in, eat breakfast that's been prepared for me, have a wildberry martini and laughs with dinner.

Not fair!

This makes me sad. I grew up on these guys, and Mike Smith was just two weeks from renewed glory. It's been said before, and I'll say it again, "Life isn't fair."

From cnn.com:

LONDON (AP) -- Dave Clark Five lead singer Mike Smith died of pneumonia Thursday, less than two weeks before the band is to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He was 64.

Smith died at a hospital outside of London, his agent Margo Lewis said.

He was admitted to the intensive care unit Wednesday morning with a chest infection, a complication from a spinal cord injury that left him paralyzed below the ribcage with limited use of his upper body. Lewis said he was injured when he fell from a fence at his home in Spain in September 2003.

Smith had been in the hospital since the accident, and was just released last December when he moved into a specially prepared home near the hospital with his wife.

"These last five years were extremely difficult for Mike. I am incredibly saddened to lose him, his energy and his humor, but I am comforted by the fact that he had the chance to spend his final months and days at home with his loving wife Charlie," Lewis said.

Smith wrote songs as well as singing and playing keyboards for the Dave Clark Five, one of many British rock acts whose music swept across the United States in the 1960s during the so-called British Invasion.

The Beatles are the best remembered, of course, but at the time the Dave Clark Five posed the strongest threat, commercially and critically, to their pre-eminence.

The Dave Clark Five claimed a string of U.S. hits, including "Because," "Glad All Over," and "I Like it Like That." By 1966, the band had made 12 appearances on "The Ed Sullivan Show," then a record for any British group.

The group's antics were captured in John Boorman's 1965 documentary "Catch Us If You Can," which followed Smith and his band mates through the English city of Bristol.

While the group -- which broke up in 1970 -- was named after him, Dave Clark himself was the drummer.

The group is going to be inducted in the rock hall on March 10, a ceremony Lewis said Smith was trying to attend.

"We're very unhappy about the whole situation -- it's sad," Rock and Roll Hall of Fame President Joel Peresman said.

He said the ceremony would go ahead as planned, but that there would be "a little extra significance this year."

Said Lewis: "He was extremely excited and honored to have been inducted ... and I am glad that he will be remembered as a hall of famer, because he was in so many ways."

Smith is survived by his wife, Arlene (nicknamed Charlie).

I don't disagree

You Are 55% Grown Up, 45% Kid

You've grown up a good bit, but you still have a way to go before you're emotionally mature. You have the skills to control your emotions, you just have to use them.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

Idol Observation

I hate Danny Noriega. Really. There has never been a contestant on American Idol that I have detested more. He's smug, self-satisfied and precious. His overbearing arrogance isn't even amusing. it's just grating. If Kathie Lee Gifford were a skinny teenage boy with pretentious purple extensions, she'd be Danny Noriega. I predict his recording career will be as successful as hers.

Am I happy to see this snotty little twerp go home? "Ish."

There. I feel better now.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #57 -- Pop Goes the iPod

QUIZ! CAN YOU NAME
THESE 13 TUNES?

I have exactly 2,310 songs on my iPod and most of them are classified as “pop.” Here’s a sampling, and (to make it look like I put more work into this than just setting it on “shuffle” and skipping over the Christmas carols), it’s in the form of a quiz.

It’s a pretty eclectic collection, covering 40 years. I must give my iPod credit for putting 12 and 13 back to back because they really sound great together.

The answers are in the comments section.

1. So now you’re back from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face.

2. I’m 45 for a moment. The sea is high and I’m heading into a crisis, chasing the years of my life.

3. I’ll be alright, one way or another. So let me go, or make me want to stay.

4. May you grow up to be righteous, may you grow up to be true. May you always know the truth and see the light surrounding you.

5. She married when she was 20. She thought she was ready. Now she’s not so sure.

6. The rain is falling on my window pane, but we are hiding in a safer place.

7. Everybody needs a place to rest, everybody wants to have a home. Ain’t no difference what nobody says – ain’t nobody like to be alone.

8. Woke up, got out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head.

9. I dream of moments we share, but you’re not there. I’m living in a fantasy.

10. Seven lonely days and a dozen times ago, I reached out one night and you were gone.

11. I’ll be your baby, I’ll be your score. I’ll run the gun for you and so much more.

12. I don’t mind spending every day, out on the corner in the pouring rain.

13. Little darling, it’s been a long, cold, lonely winter.


Put your link in the comments section and I'll add to here:
1) Melessa shares a few of her favorite brands
2) Malcolm salutes the Unsung Ladies of Song
3) Holly takes us to DisneyWorld
4) Pjazzypar has an AI TT (how fitting for tonight!)
5) Sandee shares her favorite cliches
6) Michelle fills us all in on Daylight Savings Time
7) Ornery's Wife has a sweet and sensitive TT
8) Marcia has a scrumptious TT
9) Nicholas has a literary TT, taken from his own shelves
10) Chuck reveals a love of junk food
11) Open Grove Claudia has an artsy TT
12) Losthemisphere sends us to VS blogs
13) Lori has an important, fiscal TT
14) Sandycarlson has an inspirational TT
15) Journeywoman has an ambitious TT
16) Tasina critiques today's biggest stars
17) No Nonsense Girl had an interesting week!
18) Xakara always has terrific TTs, so please go visit here (even though Firefox wouldn't let me open the link; sorry, Xakara -- I tried twice!)
19) Dane Bramage lists 13 children's books I'm positive you're not familiar with
20) Maribeth helps cure what ails us
21) Bermudabluez doesn't have a TT, but her "firsts" meme is fun
22) Corina has had a thoughtful week
23) Tips and Tricks has a bridal TT
24) Brenda's TT is saintly
25) Aline has a random TT
26) She became a butterfly concentrates on the letter D
27) Brittany's TT is all about Sweet Home Alabama
28) Lisa's TT is sponsored by the letter E
29) Tasha has an upbeat, happy TT




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Back from the precipice

Bill isn't the only "Comeback Kid" in the Clinton household. Even as pundits were writing her campaign obituary, voters in Texas and Ohio were casting their ballots for Hillary. So she won when she absolutely had to. I'm still leaning toward Obama, but I've gotta admire this old girl's guts.

Really? I didn't know that!

It's almost spring, when this Gal's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of baseball. And, of course, to my beloved, future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux. Believe it or not, there are still things for me to learn about him …

• I knew he played both baseball and basketball in highschool in Las Vegas. But I didn't know he spent his early childhood on an airforce base in Madrid.

• I knew that, through his Maddux Foundation, he supports youth programs and domestic crises shelters. I didn't know that last season he provided more than a thousand Padres tickets to San Diego children's charities, too.

I love him. Rumor has it this could be his last season. How I wish he was closing out his career where it started -- in the friendly confines of beautiful Wrigley Field!

Remember the good old days?

You know, like yesterday, when a pimple on my chin seemed like the worst of my worries.

Let's see now, what happened today? Calamities listed in order of appearance:

• A coworker of mine, one of my favorites, resigned. I hate this because our account has had quite a bit of upheaval lately. I worry about what our client will think. And I'll miss him. His wife is pregnant and I was looking forward to collecting money from the team and then picking out baby clothes. Sigh.

• A friend of mine called me in tears. Her husband demands that they put their dog up for adoption. He never wanted this dog, isn't an "animal person," and simply can't stand taking care of it. The dog recently ruined their hardwood floors with his urine and well, those floors were hard to refinish. Now I cannot understand how anyone could NOT want a critter in their home. How could you see a dog day in/day out for years and be copacetic about saying goodbye? However, to be fair, her husband has always said he didn't want to care for it, and as her job gets more demanding he is stuck alone with the dog more and more. I don't know shit about marriage, but something tells me this is not about the dog. I think her husband wants some tangible proof, some sacrifice, that indicates he's still the center of her life. I don't know what it says about me, but I'd find it easier to be nice to him next time we all get together if my friend told me he'd had an affair. I think this dog thing sucks.

• Remember my former boss? The one who had a biopsy last week? Results are in. He has prostate cancer. He was vague on the details today and I didn't want to press him. He and his wife are consulting a specialist tonight. Maybe he'll feel more like sharing tomorrow.

The best part of my day was the cherry danish I had for lunch. I feel slovenly and lazy as a result of it, but it felt wickedly indulgent at the time.

Heads & Tails #19

Today's theme is 7 favorites from any category. Here are my 7 favorite Beatle songs, in no particular order:

"I Will" (Who knows how long I've loved you? I know I love you still. Shall I wait a lonely lifetime? If you want me to, I will.)

 "She Loves You" (Pride can hurt you, too. Apologize to her. Because she loves you, and you know that can't be bad.)

"Two of Us" (You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches on ahead.)

 "You're Gonna Lose that Girl" (If you don't take her out tonight, she's gonna change her mind. And I will take her out tonight and I will treat her kind.)

"Help!" (When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in any way)

"All My Loving" (Close your eyes and I'll kiss you. Tomorrow I'll miss you. Remember, I'll always be true.)

"You Like Me Too Much" (Though you've gone away this morning you'll be back again tonight, telling me there will be no next time if I just don't treat you right.)

Ah, just thinking of these made me smile!

For more information, or to play along yourself, visit Skittles' Place.

Isn't she lovely?

I have a brand spanking new pimple on my chin! Hopefully I'll be able to curb it's growth with the antibiotic Clindamycin prescribed by my dermatologist. It's not so bad really, when you consider it's March and I haven't endured one in months and I used to get them all the time. These charmers can be attributed to stress and PMS. The latter I can't help, but the former I shall work on.

Today I've got something to take my mind off my friends and their issues. It's raining in my hallway. I live on the top floor. As the snow began to melt, the gutters were overwhelmed, the overflow pooled on the roof over my unit, and the really, really dirty water ran down in between my walls and into my condo. I assume the repair of the roof and the cleaning of my carpet will be paid for by the condo association, so this isn't the end of the world, either.

Scrubbing the floors can be good for what ails me

Yes, my close friends are still in trouble. Yes, I will try to help in any way I can. But I've used my alone time this weekend to turn the telescope around and take a tighter, more close up view at my own life. Here are the introspective insights that came to me while scrubbing my kitchen and bathroom floors:

1) I feel pretty good. My skin is good. My hair -- which is growing out and at that awkward stage -- seems under control. I'm still built like a portly pigeon, but intend to work out more in March.

2) My vacation is mere weeks away! If two days of alone time is good for my spirit, imagine all the benefits of days of luxurious pampering!

3) My best friend should be in town next week. A week from this Wednesday. How I long to spend time with someone who gets me!

4) My finances are in decent shape. The ground still doesn't feel solid beneath my feet at work. First we had some business upheavals. Now it's impossible to know how clients will react to the suicide. All of these things are out of my control. HOWEVER, my finances are completely within my control. Like most of us, I have too much debt and not enough put away for retirement. BUT I also more than 7 months' expenses tucked away, my mortgage is paid six months in advance, and I can pay cash for almost all of my spa sabbatical. I do not wish to lose my job, of course. But if I do, I won't starve.

5) My fur family is healthy.

So while I don't intend to put my friends and their issues out of my thoughts, I think I have enough to be happy about on my own life that I'll be able to maintain perspective.

Plus, I washed the floors with Palmolive Green Apple Dishwashing Liquid, and the scent even made the chores (almost) fun.

Where have you been all my life?

I'm talking about the show NCIS generally, and Mark Harmon specifically. There's been a marathon of episodes on the USA Network and I've been watching it off and on all day. I know it's been on for seasons, but this marathon is my introduction to it. The production values are high end, the stories are interesting enough, and I love the way the characters interact. (Lots of backstory, and they're always swatting one another upside the head.)

And Mark Harmon is hot. I've reflexively avoided him for more than 20 years now because he was so convincing as Ted Bundy in The Deliberate Stranger. I hate scary hot guys. But now that he's white haired and not unattractively lined, he no longer reminds me of a creepy/charming serial killer/stalker. Also, his character's name is Jethro. How can you fear any guy named Jethro?

I'm not moving, and you can't make me.

Any workweek that starts with news of your boss taking his own life promises to be emotionally charged. And it was. And I'm glad it's over.

A former boss of mine is a huge movie fan. We were going to get together after work on Monday to discuss the Oscars. He cancelled because he had to have a biopsy! Hopefully we'll be able to get together next week, after he has the results and can share the good news with me.

While having a lively discussion about American Idol, during which we amused ourselves by speaking in Randy-isms ("you're hot, dawg" "you gotta bring it," "just keeping it real," etc.), I realized that my friend John has never updated me about his conversations with his doctors regarding an implantable defibrilator. He hasn't filled me in because there's nothing to say. He hasn't talked to his doctor about it this year! He just doesn't want the procedure done. I just don't want him to die. As soon as the subject changed to his heart, he suddenly had to go. This conversation will be resumed at a later date, I promise.

Then the friend of mine who separated from his wife in January checked in. When he moved out of their home at his wife's behest, he was sure it was temporary, that they could work it out. Instead he told me that on April 1, he's moving out of the tiny room in his brother's apartment and into his own apartment. He sees his kids twice a week and every other weekend, which is often for a divorced dad, but he doesn't want to be a divorced dad. I thought they would live happily ever after. So did he. I hate this.

Then I got a call from a prospective employer asking me to provide a reference for my friend Kathy. She began registering with temp agencies two weeks ago and had hoped to have an assignment by now. She's very broke and I'm worried about her.

My oldest friend is having troubles with her teenage son that have thrown her for a loop.

Everyone seems to be dealing with intense shit and it's left me tired. I have to remember that I'm fine. I haven't mentioned my therapy much on this blog, but this is a recurring issue during my couchtime. I must remind myself where my friends end and I begin. I can't be of any help to anyone if I allow their problems to weigh on me like gravity. It's like the flight attendants tell us at the beginning of each flight -- you know, remember to put your oxygen mask on first before you help anyone else. I must figure out how to love these people without letting their problems sink my spirit.

So I'm going to withdraw into myself this weekend. Recharge my battery. Prepare myself for the world again.

PS My best friend had a little good news for a change. On Sunday, his whole family is going to a reception at the public library. A painting done by his younger daughter (second grade) was one of a handful selected for display! He's so proud of her, and I'm so happy for him.

THIS JUST IN! KATHY GOT A JOB! KATHY GOT A JOB!

I'm still not moving, but I'll be a little happier as I hibernate.

Stuff and Things

1) Snowbird (aka Book Mama's Mama) wisely anticipated how upset I'd be by the prospect of the naming rights to Wrigley Field being sold. Cub fandom is as much a part of my heritage (OK, a bigger part of my heritage) than my ethnicity or religion. I am a Cub fan because my parents were Cub fans and my grandparents -- both sides (I'm a purebred) -- were Cub fans. So yes, this is a major development. I tried to convince myself it wouldn't matter. But it would! Rumor has it, though, that the Wrigley Gum Company is as interested as I am, but for less sentimental reasons, in maintaining the status quo. I cling to the hope that they are successful in paying for the rights.

2) Shout Color Catchers are wonderful but elusive. Toss these fabulous white sheets into the wash and they'll absorb any loose dyes, enabling you to mix colors in the same load. They have revolutionized by laundry routine! However, I can't find them at any stores here in Chicagoland and have been ordering them from drugstore.com.

Quirky? Who, Me?

I love me a good meme, and I found one over at Nissa's.

SIX OF THE GAL'S QUIRKS

1) I cannot remember phone numbers. Not even my own. My cellphone number is written in my planner.

2) Likewise, I have no sense of direction or perspective. Until recently I thought I lived about 45 miles from Chicago's Loop because it takes 45 minutes to get to my office by train. Turns out I'm less than 15 miles away. So it's probably a good thing that …

3) I don't drive. If I drove, my car would just sit somewhere depreciating and rusting out 5 days a week. So what's the point? I really don't miss dealing with traffic, gas prices, car insurance and ruminating about the size of my carbon footprint.

4) I don't believe in life on other planets. I realize logically that I'm probably wrong. I mean, the universe is infinite. But in my heart, I don't believe it.

5) I have more male friends than female friends. I don't know why this is, really. It hasn't been by design, it just happened. I'm not sleeping with any of them, as they're all married or gay.

6) I'm like a chemist when it comes to my skin care. OK, so I'm 50 and I have a belly now. But my pale skin is reasonably unlined because I cleanse and exfoliate and antioxidate and ... preparing my face for foundation takes more steps than preparing the space shuttle for lift off.

If you choose to play along, let Nissa and me know, so we can compare your quirks to ours.

Thursday Thirteen #56 -- 13 of my favorite products

THIRTEEN BRANDS I AM COMPLETELY,
UNSHAKABLY LOYAL TO

Last week, when it was wicked cold and wet outside, I stopped at CVS on my way home from the train. I had to pick up a prescription and decided to buy other essentials before retreating to the dry warmth and comfort of my home for the night. “Paper towels!” I reminded myself and went to the appropriate aisle.

CVS doesn’t sell my preferred brand: Viva. I love Viva paper towels! They are the best for cleaning up after a cat has deposited the contents of his/her stomach on my carpet.

I settled for Bounty, but it wasn’t the same. When it comes to certain products, I want what I want and I want nothing else.

Milk? Whatever. Bread? Ditto. I’m a complete slut when it comes to condiments -- the cheaper, the better. But for the 13 items listed below, they’re my faves and they’re the ones that I want.

I stole this TT idea from someone. If it was you, speak up
so I can thank you.

1. Viva Paper Towels. White, no prints. And one size fits all. I resist those “choose-a-size” sheets; they tear too easily and then no matter what, I have the smallest size.

2. Shout Color Catchers. These lovely white sheets catch the loose dyes, enabling me to wash my white panties with my sweaters, regardless of the color.

3. Pledge Multi-Surface Wipes. I use them across (almost) my entire kitchen. Counters, stove-top, refrigerator door … even spot cleaning the floor. Good on mirrors, too. And, unlike any of the disinfecting wipes, I can dependably get them out of the package!

4. Woolite Foam Carpet & Upholstery Cleaner. I used to be a Resolve Foam girl, but I’ve found Woolite to be gentler, yet just as effective.

5. Edge Shave Gel. I trust these calves to nothing else.

6. Aquify Contact Lens Solution. It cleans! It soaks! It moisturizes! It would start my car, too, if I had one.

7. Dove Original Scent Anti-Perspirant Solid. Doesn’t leave streaks on my clothes. Plus I love Dove’s Everywoman advertising, so I’m happy to support the brand.

8. CVS Moisturizing Oatmeal Bath. In the packets. This is the “store brand” version of Aveeno, and trust me, it works just as well as the expensive name brand.

9. The Body Shop Shea Body Butter. Thick enough to really moisturize, fragrant-neutral enough to not compete with any scent I apply later.

10. Clinique Repairwear Eye Cream. Preserves my natural, dewey beauty.

11. Yoplait Yogurt. Fools my sweet tooth into believing we’ve had dessert.

12. Coke Classic. Coca Cola, preferably in the red can. I don’t like Pepsi, I don’t like generic, I don’t like Diet Coke. I want my Coke Classic.

13. Post Select Great Grains. Flakes, pecans, dates and raisins – my favorite cereal. Bar none.

Leave your link in comments and I'll list you here:

1. Sandy Carlson's TT is lovely, musical and inspirational -- all at once!
2. Pjazzypar has a movie TT (and I love movie TTs). This one lists her favorite soundtracks.
3. Morgan Leigh serves up a Presidential TT.
4. Greatfullivin takes us around Boothill.
5. Malcolm takes a closer look at some SNL cast members
6. Ellen B gives us a lovely tour of a historical site that was completely new to me
7. Hootin Ani offers it all -- new banners, jokes and tongue twister!
8. Nicholas has a book TT, as only Nicholas does them
9. SJ Reidhead devotes her TT to Bond, James Bond
10. Sandee spotlights 13 blogs -- including MINE! Yea! Thank you!
11. Natalie has fun with the search terms that bring people to her blog.
12. Chuck has an entertaining, eclectic reading list
13. Susan Helene Gottfried makes some music (or creates some bands) with her TT
14. Mo has an animated and heroic TT
15. Laura tells us why she's happy to be home
16. Journeywoman did a special TT for Black History Month
17. Lori shares valuable, common sense, real world dating tips
18. Sharon, who did a similar TT a few weeks ago, talks TV
19. Angie is listening to 13 of her favorite bands
20. Winter experiments with photography with beautiful results
21. Marcia proudly shares her daughter's artwork
22. Kay has a movie TT, and I do love movie TTs!
23. Jaydee's TT is hard to describe ... you kinda have to experience it
24. Crushed Glass takes a closer look at her calendar
25) Nissa shares her favorite shows
26) Lori offers up 13 cool online quizzes
27) Xakara weaves a fascinating tale of vampires and fangs and thorns and ...
28) Monday Through Sunday takes us back to the 1980s
29) Mercy's Maid's TT is delightfully random
30) Brittany helps with stress
31) Lisa's TT is brought to us by the letter D
32) Brenda shares her insights on Old Man Winter
33) Mama Bear takes us back to the 1930s
34) Lori looks at American Idol
35) Sarai has a literary TT
34)



Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

She's done it again!

Kwizgiver posted this on yesterday, and I find it irresistible and have stolen it.

TIC TOC: TIME 4 A SURVEY

Your best friend tells you she is pregnant. What is your reaction? Terror, as she has had a hysterectomy. (Menacing organ music) Or so she thought. (Menacing organ music) Could this be … Satan's Spawn? (Menacing organ music)

When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? I don't recall exactly, but probably on the el platform or at the health club. Those do seem to be the places where Chicago's rudest people congregate.

What is the last thing you spent money on? Ironically, renewing my health club membership.

Do you think you gained or lost weight this past month? I *pray* that I held steady!

Crunchy or Puffy Cheetos? Puffy.

Congratulations! You just had a son. What's his name? Michael

Congratulations! You just had a daughter. What's her name? Grace

What are you craving right now? Sex. I could be more specific, but I'd like to retain my air of mystery.

What was the last thing you cried about? Don't remember. I'm not much of a crier.

When you buy something and your change is 2 cents, do you keep it or tell the cashier to keep it? I keep it, and then deposit the pennies in my red piggy bank.

What color is your tissue box? Pink
Do you have a ceiling fan in your room, and if so, is there dust on that fan? Oh, goodness, yes!

Scariest thing you've experienced in the last year? I have been worried sick about my favorite niece at various times in the past 12 months.
Do you wear a name tag at work? No

Have you ever had a garage sale? I've contributed my crap to my mother's garage sale. Does that count?

What color is your iPod? Silver

What is the last alcoholic beverage you had? White zin

Are you happy right now? Yes

Who came over last? The neighbor who rents my parking space

Do you drink beer? Yes! Is this an invitation?

Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted? No

What is your favorite key on your key chain? Mailbox

What was the last movie you watched at home? Michael Clayton

What is in your pocket? Tissue and lip balm

Where do you hurt? My shoulder is a little sore

Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No

What's something fun you did today? Made seriously tasteless jokes with the guy in the next office. Please, don't ask. It was schadenfreude of a very high order.

What is your favorite aisle at Wal-Mart? Never shop there. Or K-Mart. Or anywhere where parents don't watch their children. Makes me too hideously nervous. My best friend believes I'm part border collie and can't control my herding instinct.

When is your birthday? November
Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror? No, no car

What kind of milk do you drink? 2%

What is something you need to go shopping for? It's boring, but I need fresh lettuce.

A Great Night of TV

First there were the guys on American Idol, singing songs of the 1970s. Now I'm watching Hillary and Obama debate on MSNBC. I am happy to just sit here, wrapped in a blanket, surrounded by cats, laptop on my tummy.

Heads & Tails #18

Today's theme is WONDER. According to our friends at Webster's, "wonder" can mean: 1) A feeling of puzzlement or doubt or 2) Something arousing awe, astonishment, surprise or admiration.

Because life itself is a little confusing to me these days, I choose to concentrate on definition #2. Here are things that still fill me with wonder:

The friendly confines of Wrigley Field

Lake Michigan

The Beatles

How kids' minds work

The sky

Flowers

How something so minor as a cold can knock you on your ass, 

and how grateful you are to feel better again

Being in love

For more information about Heads or Tails, or to play along yourself, go to Skittles' Place.

Introducing the Alphabet Meme

I've been tagged by Tasha, and here goes …

Copy all the links below and replace a single link under the appropriate letter of the alphabet. If your domain name, or even the title of your blog, starts with an “A,” you’d replace the link under that letter and put the replaced link at the bottom. Also, don’t forget to credit the tagger, or where you got the list from, at the end of the list with a full URL of the post so that a pingback gets generated.

A. An Ordinary Life
B. Blogging with Cents
C. Cricket’s Hearth
D. DadThing
E. Everything and Anything
F. Forum Finder
G. Greatfullivin
H. Happy Keg
I. I’m Running To Win Two
J. Julies Journal
K. Kabalyero
L. Ladylike4
M. Mommy Mandy
N. Not Just Mama
O. Original Mx5
P. Party of Six
Q. Q Weddings
R. Rowdigrl
S. Shirleys Delight
T. The Gal Herself
U. Utada Online
V. Valmg
W. Wicked Babylon
X. Xavier Media
Y. Yimto
Z. Zbudapest

Replaced Link: The So-Called Me

Previous tagger: Party of Six

Now I know I'm supposed to tag a handful of others, but I'm rebel, so I'm not gonna. Instead I invite all to play along, and if you join us, please leave your link in comments so we can see who you replaced.

It's Tasha's first meme and we want to keep it moving.

Life Goes On … Until It Doesn't

My weekend felt so ordinary. After leaving work on Friday, I did laundry … waited for my Peapod delivery … finished one book and started another … paid some bills … celebrated with my nephew (he's gone from Bobcat to Wolf in Boy Scouts) … got my bangs cut … watched the Oscars … I was content. My life was moving along just fine.

One of the men I work for left the office on Friday and killed himself. Life rolls on. Until it stops.

I worked for him technically, in that he "outranked" me, but I didn't really know him beyond a polite "hello." So no condolences are required. I haven't lost a friend. My sense of grief isn't personal.

But since his tragic death was announced this morning, I've been surrounded by sorrow, people who worked with him more closely and knew him better than I. It has thrown the workplace off. Everyone is having a little trouble concentrating. We're all speaking more softly and being more polite to one another. 

I'm thinking about God, and the nature of despair. I'm no stranger to depression, but I've always had friends, family and most of all FAITH. I don't understand how that can slip away from some people, how they can't hang onto that most personal of all relationships, the one with God, when all else sours. I'm baffled.

Today sucks.