My best friend's house, that is. He moved in a year ago. This isn't it, exactly. It's an example of the new homes being built in his neighborhood. Before someone from realtor.com sues me, let me state right here that I'm sure these are all comfortable, beautiful, completely livable homes … if you want and can afford them.He can do neither.
He and his wife have two daughters and two dogs. A year ago, they moved into a 5BR/5BA home similar to this one. With separate living/sitting rooms, a completed basement that's now a playroom for the girls, and a den with a fireplace that's now his office. The kitchen is state of the art, with a huge marble bay in the middle. They can either dine in there, or in the formal dining room (which I believe also has a fireplace; I know there's another one in there somewhere).
This downpayment for this showplace came from the proceeds of the sale of their old home, and a "generous" birthday gift to his wife from her father. I don't remember who it was, but a wise man once said, "If you take their money, you gotta take their shit." My best friend is learning this all too well.
His wife is sooo happy with their new home. She's never lived in a brand-new home before and she's pleased and proud of what she's doing with both the house and the yard.
My best friend is miserable. He hates his job, and even more, he's hit the wall when it comes to his whole career choice. He just doesn't want to do it anymore.
But guess what! With two kids looking at college and this mortgage payment staring him in the face, he's handcuffed. Ironically, now that he's in his 40s and dreams of doing something else with his life, he can't afford to.
That's why I think of this beautiful, comfortable, completely livable home as The Amityville Horror.
I advise him not to dwell on what he's doing 9-to-5 (or rather 8-to-7), but instead think of everything it affords him. This house … a week in London this spring … I don't mean it, of course. I want him to chuck it all, walk away from marketing and follow his heart. But I'm alone. I make decisions completely for myself. I don't have to worry about my spouse finally having her dream, or paying for college for two kids.
It's his decision, and he's made it. I support him as best I can. I just wish he was happy.
Good Morning, Gal! It's Friday!! OK, enough with the exclamation points.
ReplyDeleteI really feel for your friend. I found myself living the "American Nightmare" last year. After 13 years I no longer wanted to be doing what I'm doing. Sad, scared, bored out of my mind, frustrated, angry, resentful and a whole handful of other unhappy adjectives later, I decided it was time to change... and I have. Right now I have so many irons in the fire I'm starting to lose track of which is what. Best of all, the joy has come back into my life.
Like you, it's just me and the cat-boy. He knows I'll always keep him fed and sheltered. I would imagine your friend's unhappiness is apparent to his wife and daughters. They're a team, a family and if he's not happy they aren't either. Honestly, I think he's being extremely narrow in his thinking that he's stuck forever. Been there, done that and believe me there are ways to get unstuck. Tell him I said so.
End of sermon! And apparently the return of the exclamation points.
Have a splendid day!!
Oh, Harlekwin, you break my heart! I wish he could be like you. I wish I could refer him to your recent posts about closing the store and going back to school so he could get some inspiration. He has dreams of doing something else entirely, but there's family pressure now. His father-in-law uses phrases like "who brought what to the marriage," etc.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about his wife and kids. But as a barren spinster, I don't feel qualified to say anything. What do I know about marriage and the responsibilities of parenthood?
But it's so hard to see really nice people unhappy!!!!
(Exclamation points in tribute to you.)