My weekend felt so ordinary. After leaving work on Friday, I did laundry … waited for my Peapod delivery … finished one book and started another … paid some bills … celebrated with my nephew (he's gone from Bobcat to Wolf in Boy Scouts) … got my bangs cut … watched the Oscars … I was content. My life was moving along just fine.One of the men I work for left the office on Friday and killed himself. Life rolls on. Until it stops.
I worked for him technically, in that he "outranked" me, but I didn't really know him beyond a polite "hello." So no condolences are required. I haven't lost a friend. My sense of grief isn't personal.
But since his tragic death was announced this morning, I've been surrounded by sorrow, people who worked with him more closely and knew him better than I. It has thrown the workplace off. Everyone is having a little trouble concentrating. We're all speaking more softly and being more polite to one another.
I'm thinking about God, and the nature of despair. I'm no stranger to depression, but I've always had friends, family and most of all FAITH. I don't understand how that can slip away from some people, how they can't hang onto that most personal of all relationships, the one with God, when all else sours. I'm baffled.
Today sucks.
Oh, wow. I am so sorry. One of my good friends committed suicide. It's been seven years, and I'm still confused.
ReplyDeleteKeeping the faith, I guess, is impossible for some of us.
Wow...that kind of thing is always shocking...no matter how well you knew the person.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in 8th grade a student in the 7th grade (and one in the 9th, that I knew in passing) committed suicide. It's been quite a few years now, but I can still remember that shock of hearing the news and seeing everyone around react.
Kind of out of nowhere isnt it? Though my condolences are in order. While the commercials for the anxiety medicines make it seem like acne, depression is not really pill curable
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to read this -- I'm so sorry people have to deal with this kind of thing; it's not fair really. I buried my boyfriend 10 years ago, while I was 6 weeks pregnant with our daughter. I watched my sister bury her husband 1 year ago. Both took their own lives. I'm glad you were not so close to this man as to feel the deep grief that comes with this stuff, but the confusion always hits close to home. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, I think suicide is confusing. I feel very bad for his family. And hearing about a suicide is always shocking. Even if you really don't know the person well. Someone close to our family just went nuts one day and shot his two five year old twins and himself. I simply couldn't believe it. Couldn't understand it. I still can't.
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