09 August Happiness Challenge -- Day 7

Friday. The Friends of the Library Book Fair.

It's quite the event in this town. It's the library's biggest fundraiser of the year in a town that enthusiastically supports three library branches. Even in the drizzle, neighbors were lined up around the block to pay $5 to be among the first to check out the second-hand books. The book fair is held in the high school auditorium, and it's an awesome coming together of books and book lovers.

I came away with two pristine paperback mysteries -- Murder on the Orient Express and something by Evanovich -- for my Operation Shoebox Christmas package for the soldiers. Then I picked up some fluff (Scottoline and a Cat Who book) along with a JFK biography that looks very interesting (Kennedys at War) to add to my TBR stack. All five books came to $7.

My favorite moment came when I overheard a mom as she went through the biographies with her little girl, who appeared to be about 10. "The Story of My Life by Helen Keller! You are going to love this book!" It was great to see a mother pass a book she loved on to the next generation.

Then there's a personal little tradition I observe. Every year there's a book that you'll see time and time and time again. The book that many locals enthusiastically bought and then decided (almost in unison) that they were done with it and would never read it again. In 2006 it was The Corrections. In 2007, The Nanny Diaries. Last year, The Da Vinci Code. And this year ... drumroll, please ... it is My Life by Bill Clinton. (Sorry, Mr. President.)

Feelin' Nekkid

This morning I left the house without my rings. The one shown, decorated with lotus blossoms, is almost always on my right hand. There's usually a silver band on my left hand, too. My world is somehow just not right without my rings!

I also can't reliably tell my right from my left without them.

I'm glad it's a short workday so I can get home and retrieve them before I get hopelessly lost.

Nearly 50 questions

Liberated from Kwizgiver.

1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say? is there a star in the East? (Kwiz' original and very excellent answer)

2. Do you trust all of your friends?
No. Well, it depends ...

3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Yes

4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Yes

5. Can you make a dollar in change right now?
If you'll accept only dimes and nickels

6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
My oldest friend. She works with doctors and speaks medicalese fluently.

7. Are you afraid of falling in love?
I say "no," but I suspect my shrink would disagree.

8. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
Yes

9. What’s your most favorite scar?
On the inside of the left thigh. We actually had an EARTHQUAKE here in Chicagoland in Spring '08 and it woke both me and my cat Joey up with a start. As he sprang into action, he accidentally scratched my leg. If it wasn't for the scar, I'm not sure I'd believe it really happened.

10. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
April '09

11. What did the last text message you sent say?
To my niece, regarding her summer job at a resort "How is it going? Do you get much time off? Are you having fun?"

12. What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex?
Hair. I love men's hair.

13. Fill in the blank: I love __________
alone time

14. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Lose weight to get healthier (Also Kwiz', but it's still good)

15. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time, whom would you call?
My mom

16. How many kids do you want to have?
Now I don't want any

17. Would you make a good parent?
No. I worry too much.

18. Where was your default picture taken?
On the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

19. Whats your middle name?
Ann

20. Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
I miss my best friend

21. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
There's something I'd like to apologize for.

22. Who was (or will be)the maid of honor/ best man in your wedding?
An Elvis impersonator would be nice

23. What are you wearing right now?
blue blouse, jeans, blue/black sandals

24. Righty or lefty?
Righty

25. Best place to eat?
Monk's Pub

26. Favorite jeans?
Mommy loves all her jeans equally

27. Favorite animal?
Okapi

28. Favorite juice?
Orange juice

29. Have you had the chicken pox?
Yes. I remember having to wear mittens indoors so I wouldn't scratch.

30. Have you had a sore throat?
Yes

31. Ever had a bar fight?
No

32. Who knows you the best?
My mom, my oldest friend or my best friend

33. Shoe size?
6.5

34. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
Yes. Right now, contacts.

35. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
No. I have cats, and fighting with a cat is an exercise in futility.

36. Been to Mexico?
No

37. Did you buy something today?
Just lunch

38. Did you get sick today?
No

39. Do you miss someone today?
See #20

40. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
Nope

41. When is the last time you had a massage?
Sunday, July 26. (I checked my calendar)

42. Last person to lay in your bed
Me

43. Last person to see you cry?
No one was around last time I cried. Though it did frighten my cat, Charlotte.

44. Who made you cry?
Marley and Me

45. What was the last TV show you watched?
Morning Joe on MSNBC

46. What are your plans for the weekend?
The village book fair! A very big event in my town.

47. Whom do you think will repost this?
Snarkela

48. Who was the last person you hung out with?
Had lunch with a coworker.

49. If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say?
"Who are you?" For if I have a significant other, I don't know about him.

If you play along, let me know so I can compare our answers.

This, however, makes me UNhappy

FERRIS BUELER DIRECTOR HUGHES DIES

Writer and film director John Hughes, whose films in the 1980s depicted teen angst on the North Shore, died of a heart attack in New York today, his publicist said.

Hughes, 59, directed Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, among other films.

09 August Happiness Challenge -- Day 6

Thursday. I like this job.

Sure, I complain about it. But that's  because I have a problem with authority. This afternoon, as I enjoy my frosty, free beer, I reflect on why I like my job.

1) Beer cart on Thursday afternoons.

2) The office closes early on Fridays in summer.

3) Generous vacation policy.

4) A good client.

5) Enviable medical insurance that includes dental.

6) Two paychecks a month. Yea!

I reserve the right to bitch about it again. But today, I appreciate having this job and it makes me happy.

Thursday Thirteen #119 -- Paula in her own words

THIRTEEN REAL-LIVE
PAULA ABDUL TWEETS

It's official: Paula Abdul is leaving American Idol. This makes me sad. It really does. For while it's easy to make fun of Paula (and I have laughed at her weepiness, her spaciness and her dramatics), there's also a loopy sweetness about her that made her the perfect foil for Simon Cowell.

To celebrate her unpretentious goofiness, I give you 13 of her recent Twitter tweets. She uses this social network as a way to communicate with her public, and can squeeze a lot of affectionate silliness into 140 characters. These are all legit.

1) My favorite color is lavander! What's yours? (July 2)

2) To a fan upset because her dog died. I'm gonna help you! Is your dog a boy or girl? Can you send a pic? And a brief description of their personality! xo!! (July 21)

3) Reading your tweets makes me feel so good and positive- I'm walkin' on sunshine!! (July 21)

4) I need u2know that what u have just said has affected me in a way that I can't even put it into words u are so special2me (July 21)

5) I've been invited to meet the Dalai Lama & Sir Richard Branson at the end of September. (Aug 4)

6) I'm thinking of bringing the dogs to the beach this weekend for some fun in the sun. What are you guys up to this weekend? (July 10)

7) About her chihuahuas I am brainstorming on more ideas for the adventures of Bessie Moo & Thumbelina, have any idea’s? (July 8)

8) Hope everyone is enjoying their pool parties and bbq's! Have a safe holiday and remember to keep your pets inside so they don't get scared! (July 4)

9) Acupuncture usually doesn't hurt, but my guy is brutal. He goes right to the nerve ending, but it's so good for me. (July 1)

10) My Chihuahua posse is getting their pawdicure's right now. I'll take a picture when their fully coiffed. (June 30)

11) I SOOO LOVE & ADORE my fans!! U All have stuck by me, LOVED ME& have inspired ME 2 KEEP DOING WHAT I LOVE to DO! XoP (June 28)

12) With sadness in my heart, I’ve decided not to return to Idol. I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all.. (August 4)

13) I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent,but most of all being a part of a show that I helped from day1become an international phenomenon. (August 4)

To participate yourself, or to look up more TT participants,
visit the hub (thursday-13.com).

"Those Whom God Hath Joined Together, Let No Man Put Asunder."

My question is, how do you know WHO God hath joined together?

I spent all morning sitting on a bench outside a county courtroom with my oldest friend. We were there because her weird-ass ex was trying to weasel out of child support. My role today was to lend moral support, and I didn't mind at all. First of all, my friend is dependably there for me. Secondly, it was great theater. Everyone who walked by was involved in a case, there were laughter and tears, and quite the cross section of humanity.

It was in this context that I saw my friend's ex-husband for the first time in years. I was surprised by how sad, old and goofy he looked. Both his hair and his lips were thinner than I remembered. He was trying to look officious and prepared, standing there in his pressed white shirt, accordion folder in hand and calculator at the ready. I have no idea why he needed such a big folder for one little dispute and he looked so silly with his short yellow tie barely reaching mid-belly. As it became more obvious that he wasn't going to get what he wanted, the angrier and more stubborn he became.

My friend has always been a friendly, sweet-natured woman who aims to please, to avoid conflict. I can't imagine what she saw in this putz in the first place, and seeing them together now I can barely believe they were married at all.

Being around his toxic energy for hours, I conclude that God couldn't possibly have ever joined these two together, and therefore I'm glad they divorced.

09 August Happiness Challenge -- Day 5

Wednesday. Blue skies. It's 78º and sunny this afternoon. The sky is a beautiful blue, visible between the leaves on the trees. In all, a very pretty day, and days like this make me happy.

It's supposed to be 90º+ this weekend. I hate the heat, so I must treasure today.

Atta Bill!

Bill Clinton, shown here arriving in North Korea, did good today, Acting as a "diplomat at large," he negotiated the release of journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee.

I'm happy to see the Obama Administration using him where he can do the most good. For, to most of the world, he isn't "Bad Bill," the self-indulgent Baby Boomer who can't control his appetites, the one who is so often the butt of jokes on late night TV. Internationally he's regarded as "Good Bill," an intelligent, warm, quick-witted and open representative of the United States.

Over the past 17 years, I have come to believe "Bad Bill" and "Good Bill" are two parts of the same whole. I think we all are comprised of negative and positives, it's just since Bill Clinton is an outsized personality, both his positives and negatives are bigger than life.

09 August Happiness Challenge -- Day 4

Tuesday. "Things are fine."

My best friend left for a spur-of-the-moment family trip yesterday morning. He left word that they were going "to California for a few days." I'd be happy for him if I wasn't so worried. California is more than 150,000 square miles. There was a 6.9 earthquake in Baja yesterday that was felt all the way to San Diego.

Naturally, because I worry, I was sure that he and his family were crushed under rubble somewhere. I mean, what other reason could he possibly have for not contacting me during a vacation with his wife and kids?

This afternoon I received an email: "Things are fine and we made it safely. Just haven’t checked email till now."

Oh, I guess there's that.

The important thing is that things are fine and now I can stop obsessing. At least, obsessing about this. And I'm happy that my best friend understands my gift for awfulizing and indulges me.

The Queen's Meme #4

Completed by Royal Decree

WBLOG TV: The Meme. The place where unbloggable news happens and sources are never a secret. You are the creator, producer, writer and news anchor of the WBLOG nightly news. It is your job to deliver the news in your own style from your own blog.

And oh, you get to make up the news! Here's your assignment:

1. The Weather Channel: I'm partly sunny with the sudden appearance of unruly curls. Humidity does just does that to me and my hair.

2. The News Channel: The Gal Herself remains steadfast in her attempts to avoid doing her annual Performance Self-Appraisal. (Details in the post below)

3. The Economic Channel: Our financial expert encourages you NOT to read the information on your paystub that details how much has been deducted from your check and why. The odds are you can't do anything about it, and focusing on what you're not taking home will only frustrate you. The wisdom of this advice dates back to early vaudeville:

Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I do this."
Doctor: "Then don't do that."

4. The Entertainment Channel: All is not well with The Saved by the Bell reunion. Hear it from Lisa Tuttle herself.

5. The Sports Channel: Tegwar* is the high-stakes cards-and-dice game and it doesn't matter who I play against because I will always win.

6. The Comedy Channel: A mother is walking along the beach with her son. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a wave crashes onto the shore and sweeps the kid out to sea. Shocked and heartbroken, she falls to her knees and cries aloud to God above, "Good Lord, please! I promise I will become a good, church-going woman and obey all your Commandments. Just please undo what you have just done!" Just as suddenly another giant wave crashes against the shore and deposits her son, wet but none the worse for wear, right there on the beach. Again the mother raises her head and her voice to God, shouting, "He had a hat!"

Thank you, thank you. Enjoy your meal and please remember to tip your waitress.

7. The Religious Channel: To borrow from an old-time Chicago newspaperman, the new upstart religion of Galism exists to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

8. The Soap Opera Channel: The Cub Fans' Lament. It's the continuing, multi-generational saga that's been running for 100 years now. It tells the story of those brave souls who willingly face heartache, disappointment, billy goats, black cats and even Steve Bartman because they just can't help believing, "This is the year!" (The Cubs are in first place today, after all!)

*The Exciting Game Without Any Rules

Please don't turn me in

For I am still putting off doing my annual Performance Self-Appraisal. Because I don't feel like it. If anyone asks me, I'll come up with a better excuse. But what kind of world would it be if a girl can't tell her own blog the truth?

Tuesday Tunes #24

Tell us about the first album you ever bought.

Here it is. I was 6. I paid for half and my dad paid the other half.

In every job that must be done there is an element of fun. You find the fun and SNAP! The job's a game. And every task you undertake becomes a piece of cake. A lark, a spree, it's very clear to see …
A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down


If you'd like to play along (and, please, try to be hipper than I was), click here.

09 August Happiness Challenge -- Day 3

Monday. I saw Mr. Chicago this morning!

My friend John and I christened this gentleman Mr. Chicago back in 1981, and I am thrilled to say he's still around and looks well. At least, well for Mr. Chicago.

We don't know him, exactly. And we don't know anyone who has ever spoken to him. Yet, often when we describe him, other Loop denizens say, "I know that guy!"

When he first captured our attention in the early 1980s, Mr. Chicago looked like he was trying for the Barry Gibb effect: Backcombed and sprayed brown hair, shirt open to show a gold chain, and luxuriant facial hair. The thing of it is, by the 1980s, even Barry Gibb had abandoned that look, so Mr. Chicago stood out. Whenever spotted (and Mr. Chicago is a warm weather bird, with no reported winter sightings), he always looks like he's walking purposefully ... somewhere. We have seen him all over town, day and night. Never indoors, always out on the street. Always alone, never looking lost or sad and bewildered. Wherever he is, Mr. Chicago looks like a man on a mission.

Well, the 1980s are long gone and Mr. Chicago's look has changed ... a little: Backcombed and sprayed white hair, shirt open to show a gold chain, and luxuriant white facial hair. Since he's so meticulously groomed (albeit in very old clothes) and thin but not sickly, I assume that he's taking good care of himself and that he's happy. Besides, he clearly has a busy schedule. He's always determinedly on his way ... somewhere.

Like legendary Cub fan Ronnie Woo, Mr. Chicago is one of those idiosyncratic characters that make working in a big city so interesting.

Stay well, Mr. Chicago! Seeing you again this morning made my day!

It's not that I love Elliott Stabler ...

... it's that Olivia loves him. Yes, he's a hot head. Sometimes he borders on Neanderthal. But, like Olivia, he cares about the victims, especially the children. That binds them together. Olivia accepts him because he accepts her. He keeps her secrets and supports her.

They love one another so much, but they don't know it. (Sniffle, sniffle.)

See, when I don't feel well, even the Law & Order: SVU Marathon can make me misty.

09 August Happiness Challenge -- Day 2

Sunday -- My nephew is a great kid.

He's spending today with my mother and I had promised him I would swing by. He wanted us to play Beatles Monopoly together, and he wanted me to see his new glasses, which he says look (Harry) "Potterish." He, me and Grandma were going to have a fine afternoon.

But my stomach has been giving me trouble for about 3 hours now. I don't think I should travel far from home and besides, this may be a contagious bug. It would be rather selfish under the circumstances to hang around with a 70-something woman and a 9-year-old boy.

So I called him to explain. He was very sweet. "Of course you can't help it!" he said in his most reassuring voice. Though he was looking forward to playing Beatles Monopoly because he has become "the master," having beaten his mommy in "less than 38 minutes!"

He's a very entertaining phone conversationalist, telling me about a sleepover on Friday night and how soon his new class assignment will be posted on "the 4th grade door" at school and how he hopes next year he'll still be with Jimmy and Leland and Tanner. But not Seth. (He's been with Seth since Kindergarten, when Seth once stepped on his head during naptime. My nephew doesn't see how Seth, or anyone, can "accidentally" step on another person's head!)

So while I will miss playing The Monopoly Master with the Potterish Glasses today, I very much enjoyed our lively time together on the phone.

I bet it's good to be First Lady

Music superstar Paul McCartney is rocking out at FedEx Field Saturday night and, since he's near the White House, Sir Paul gave a special tribute to first lady Michelle Obama: Before playing the Beatles classic, "Michelle", McCartney told the packed audience that he was dedicating it to the first lady.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Alpha Meme

My roommate and I once: had cookies and milk before bed. Since moving out of my parents' home (where I had my own room), I have never shared living quarters with anyone. So I am referring to a weekend getaway to Vegas about 3 years ago. My oldest friend and I were staying at the Riviera, and they actually had cookies and milk on the room service menu. I thought that was neat.

Never in my life have I: had a roommate

High school was: yucky!

When I’m nervous: talk (even) faster.

My hair: is thick and healthy … and I'm glad.

When I was 5: I had three great loves -- my Lassie dog (a plush toy who now resides in my closet), Billy (the "boy" next door who was a mere 22 years my senior), and Little Joe Cartwright (Michael Landon).

When I turn my head left: I see my bathroom.

I should be: doing a little housework instead of blogging.

By this time next year: 20 pounds lighter. (I am so gonna lose that weight!)

My favorite aunt is: my only aunt. I owe her an email.

I have a hard time understanding: The Obama Birther Controversy.

You know I like you if: I spend time with you (on the phone, online or -- gasp! -- in person). As I get older, I'm more selective about who gets into my life.

My ideal breakfast is: eaten out so I have no preparation and no dishes.

If you visit my home town: be sure to stop by Five Guys for a burger.

If you spend the night at my house: you'd better not be allergic to cats.

The animal I would like to see flying besides birds: a squirrel who talks and wears goggles.

I shouldn’t have been: so lazy about my exercise and daily diet.

Last night I: thoroughly enjoyed that extra innings Cubs win.

A better name for me would be: Lazy Bones (sleeping in the sun, how you 'spect to get your day's worth done?)

I’ve been told I look like: Julie from The Love Boat.

If I could have any car, it would be: chauffeur driven and valet parked.

09 August Happiness Challenge -- Day 1

Saturday, August 1 --Today I was captivated by a toddler I've never seen before.

I was wandering around the neighborhood, doing my Saturday errands, and encountered families participating in the village "pet parade." People and their dogs go from station to station and participate in games. Prizes include a package of Twizzlers (at the movie theater) and Botan Rice Candy (at the sushi house) and helium-filled balloons (at the UPS store).

Participating in the festivities was a towheaded toddler, solemnly dragging a dog on wheels. It was clear that to him, the white plastic beagle was a real dog, and his parents were going along with him all the way. Just the thought of him makes me smile.

Forget Your Troubles! C'mon, Get Happy!

Here's a brief explanation of the Challenge: "Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world."

If you play along, let me know.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Rain

1. What do you typically like to do on a rainy day? Stay dry! Especially my feet. Having to endure soggy socks and shoes is just soooo icky.

2. Tell us about the last time you did something you later regretted, that you can share with us. Last night I dozed off on the sofa and then had a terrible time trying to get back to sleep.

3. I recently got an email from a lover from a very long time ago. I was asked "Have all your dreams come true?" If it were you and it was from someone you remember fondly, how would you answer the question? I'd say, "No, but I'm pretty happy. How about you?"

4. If you had a job interview and was asked, "If you were an animal, what kind would you be (other than human?)" How would you answer that question. I'd be a cat. I'm independent and don't require much supervision.

5. Do you think it is a good idea to share with a new lover stories of your past lovers? At times. More than once I have wanted a new lover to understand that he's unfortunately paying for the sins of a predecessor. I hope he understands it and is willing to support me as I try to work through my issues.

6. When do you think it is permissible or even important to lie? To save someone's feelings. Especially upon receiving a gift.

7. What was the last thing you did that you never thought you would? I bought a new bathing suit.

8. What is one important lesson that you learned from your mother? That pets are members of the family to be treated with love and respect.

9. What is one important lesson that you learned from your father? American history is fascinating and fun.

The Friday Five

Taboo Edition

1. Who’s making a positive difference in your life?
Taboo words: friends, family, husband/wife/spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend.
The first-place Chicago Cubs! I'm always happier on game days, and I'm ecstatic on successful game days. (Tonight we're in Florida.)

2. Where would you like to be right now?
Taboo words: home, bed, anywhere but here.
In the stylist's chair. Once the haircut is out of the way, my weekend is all mine!

3. What’s the first thing you’d do with a $5,000 (or your local equivalent) gift?
Taboo words: save, debt, vacation, payments, invest.
A Border's gift card for my niece. She sold off many of her DVDs in order to pay for culinary camp. It was a very responsible, mature thing for her to do. But she hasn't even begun her junior year of high school yet and I wish life didn't require her to be so responsible and mature.

4. What super-power would you really like to have?
Taboo words: invisibility, x-ray vision, flying, strength, transform.
Either see the future or read minds. I'll make my final choice when the time comes.

5. What’s your favorite sound?
Taboo words: laughter, music, ocean, wind, ____’s voice.
A cat's purr.

To play along, click here.

Happy Positive Day!

I was encouraged to participate in this special holiday by my Queen, Mimi, who discovered it here. I think it's a wonderful idea, and the perfect prelude to kicking off the August Happiness Challenge, which begins here on This Gal's blog for the third year in a row tomorrow.

So I'm "accentuating the positive"
by reminding msyelf
how I start each and every day.
For my morning routine really is all good.

First, I pet a cat. One of my trio is always in bed beside me. I don't know how they work out amongst themselves whose turn it is, but they do. It's wonderful to wake up and stroke the soft fur of a little soul who loves me no matter what, and to remember that I did a good thing by saving his/her life, since all three of cats are shelter rescues. I am rewarded by that "good thing" I did with this acceptance and affection each and every morning.

Then I take a shower. The whole world always looks better when viewed from under freshly shampooed hair. And there's my shower radio. I always have it turned to the oldies station and I love to sing along. I am amazed by how I can't remember where I left my keys last night, but I have such happy, detailed memories of where I was the first time I heard, "Ain't No Woman Like the One I Got" by the Four Tops. (An after school/before dinner run to Jack in the Box with Joanne from down the block.)

If you want to celebrate Positive Day, too, click here
for the whole story and the very simple instructions.

A show of faith

I ordered this swim ensemble from the Sundance Catalog this morning. All the pieces were on sale! While I prefer the floral top I'm not sure how it will fit so I ordered the solid, more structured top, too. (In pistachio.)

This is a very big deal for me. I can't remember the last time I wore a swimsuit. I have a drawer full of them at home, but I have so outgrown them I feel like they're mocking me. I'd like to add swimming to my aerobic exercise and besides, it would be wonderful to actually dive from the warm sun to the cool water during that week between Christmas and New Year's when I'm in Key West.

I have lost 3 lbs. this month, making it 10 since I decided to watch my diet more closely and push the exercise regimen more. I promised myself 10 more by year end (and Key West). It's not an ambitous goal, especially, in that I'm halfway there 5 full months to go. However those 5 months include birthdays, parties, Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I don't want to set myself up to fail.

So for less than $100 I have invested in my future, my health, and my body. A tangible expression of what I want to achieve. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I did it again ...

I fell asleep on the sofa during the Colbert Report (sorry, Stephen; it's not you, it's me). FOUR HOURS AGO! Now I am awake. I hate it when this happens.

I know I should go to bed, but my big tub of guts, Joey, is snuggled up beside me making curly paws and it doesn't seem fair to disturb him.

Me and the Prez

In honor of tonight's "Beer Summit," I took a Bud Lite from the beer cart, for that is Barack Obama's beer of choice.

Thursday Thirteen #118 -- The "I'll be the judge of that" edition

THE THIRTEEN
REALLY ESSENTIAL
STREISAND SONGS

There are two different CDs available out there called The Essential Barbra Streisand. The one shown here is the import; there's a US CD that shows her with her 1970s curly poodle cut and I like this photo better. However, whoever did the compiling on both sides of the ocean (and I suspect it was Babs herself) got it wrong.

Leave it to this Gal to set the record straight, as it were.

Ever since high school, I have looooved Barbra Streisand's work. There have been times over the last 35 or so years that her performances have spoken to me and, literally, for me. (I'm sorry she doesn't work more often. I miss her, but I'm glad that she's happy with Dr. Kiley, who seems to look hotter every year.)

So here, from a fan's perspective, are the thirteen essential Streisand songs. It shows her not only to have a fantabulous voice, but to be a terrific 3-minute actress. Most of these songs have been performed by others, but Babs imbues them a new level of sincerity. She manages to tell a story with complete credibility on (most of) these.

If you're also a fan and have missed any of these, I believe they're all available on iTunes.

1) The Way We Were. "Memories light the corners of my mind …" One of my favorite songs (ever) from one of my favorite movies (ever). If 100 years from now someone asks what all the fuss over Streisand was about, I hope this is the movie and the song they turn to.

2) The Music that Makes Me Dance. "He'll sleep and he'll rise in the light of two eyes that adore him ..." From the Funny Girl Original Broadway Cast Album. Not well known, but beautiful all the same. Often it's felt like only Babs understands how intensely I feel when I'm in love like this.

3) Stoney End. "I never wanted to go down the Stoney End …" The arrangement is hopelessly dated, but Streisand is still powerful. So powerful that I've referenced "Stoney End" 7 times on this blog. The combination of her voice and these lyrics captures completely how I feel when life overwhelms me, when hopelessness and depression or fear spread across my soul like a wine stain on a white tablecloth. Babs and I -- we're not melancholy depressives. No, we howl at the sky. "The fury of the broken thunder's come to match my raging soul!" I warn you: do not fuck with me when I'm visiting the Stoney End!

4) Don't Rain on My Parade. "I'll march my band out, I'll beat my drum!" Out of her way, world, here she comes! Oh, how many times I've tried to channel her confidence and chutzpah!

5) More than You Know. "Oh, how I'd sigh, oh, how I'd cry, if you got tired and said goodbye. More than I'd show. More than you'll ever know." Very much in love, yes, but surprised by and more than a little afraid of the depth of her feeling.

6) I'll Know. "I'll know, and I won't ever ask, am I right, am I wise, am I smart …" Ready to dive in with both feet when she meets the right man. But until then, she ain't settling. Why should she? She knows he's out there somewhere.

7) I Don't Break Easily. "All your clothes are gone and the welcome mat's been changed. But the key's still there and I've left the door unchained." One of the Streisand songs I feel she and I have both lived through. "Fine, you left. I've gotten on with my life and I'll never be so weak as to call you ever again! But if you happen to show up ..."

8) If I Love Again. "In someone else's fond embrace, I'll close my eyes and see your face." Soft and intimate and so mournful. It's as though she's signing directly from her heart to his. Or maybe to God. What becomes of us after we've found The One, and it didn't work out?

9) Why Did I Choose You? "And when I lost my heart so many years ago, I lost it lovingly and willingly to you … " As poignant a declaration of love as I've ever heard.

10) The Best Thing You've Ever Done. "Take a bow then take another. Isn't loneliness a winner? Wasn't leaving me the best thing you've ever done?" You can practically see her painted nails reaching through the speakers to grab her ex by the throat. Very cathartic, this one.

11) Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered. "I'm wild again, beguiled again, a simpering, whimpering child again ..." I love how diffident she is as she sings.

12) My Man. "When he takes me in his arms, the world is bright, ALL RIGHT …" I realize this is a deeply dysfunctional love song. But damn, she just sings the hell out of it. Her voice is so strong and defiant. When I sing in my dreams, this is how I sound. (Don't laugh! At least I've stopped lip syncing into my hair brush.)

13) The Main Event. "Extra, extra! I'm in love!" OK, it's a stupid song! But she sounds like she's having fun singing it. Her voice just sails.

Yes, I know, I know. There's no "People," or "Evergreen" or "Guilty." First of all, just because a song is a hit doesn't qualify it as one of my essentials. And besides, my original list was up to 22, and this is the Thursday Thirteen. I had to make the tough choices. (And, when there are absolutely no consequences, I'm very good at making the tough choices.

PS Props to Miss Cupcake for giving me the idea.

To participate yourself, or to look up more TT participants,
visit the hub (thursday-13.com).

Why I love FOX News

Because they keep all the nutballs contained -- allowing me to, for the most part, avoid them. Unless one says something so egregious that other news outlets pick it up. For example:

Glenn Beck claims president has ‘a deep-seated hatred for white people’

And here I thought the worst thing about Beck is that he looks like an oversized demonic infant.

Remember the great hue and cry when Kanye West said "George Bush doesn't care about black people" after Katrina? Or when the Dixie Chicks said they were ashamed of GWB? Where's the similar outrage about Beck?

I guess it's only unpatriotic to complain about the President in the most inflammatory way when he's a Republican.

Hurray! Finally!

I love my cat Joey. A massive gray and white tom, about 12 or 13 years old, he's an affectionate tub of guts. His days include power-napping, cuddling with me, playing with our young turk-cat, Reynaldo, and being slapped in the face by our household diva cat, Charlotte, who has hated Joey since they first met. (Joey, being both sweetest and perhaps the most forgetful of my cats, needs to be reminded every day that Charlotte hates him.) His days are full, from a feline point of view, and he always seems happy.

One thing his life has always lacked is cat treats.

He doesn't like the crunchy ones that are good for kitty teeth (Rey's favorites). Nor the soft ones, redolent of fish or chicken (preferred by Charlotte). When the other two get their snacks, Joey just sits in the kitchen doorway a moment, realizes none of this appeals to him, and lumbers away. It breaks my heart.

Voila! I have finally found something that he, and he alone, likes! Pet Greens! Safe and healthier than other cat treats, he happily gnaws and grazes. Now we're all happy at snack time.

The Queen's Meme #3

Completed by Royal Decree.

This week I'm attempting her Culinary Meme. I know nothing about cooking, so wish me luck as I try to navigate these unfamiliar waters.

1. If you could put thyme in a bottle, what is the first thing that you'd like to do? Put it on YouTube. There are people out there who would demand visual evidence of what I'd just done. I am, after all, the woman who uses her kitchen drawers to store mittens, scarves and earmuffs during the offseason.

2. Do eggs really crack or do they merely have a nervous breakdown? I believe they have nervous breakdowns. At least Egghead did. He is one of my all-time fave rave Batman villians. His crimes were egg-ceptional and his inevitable capture by the Caped Crusaders was always egg-scrutiating.

3. Why are you whipping the butter? What did it ever do to you? I flatly deny the charge. I'd never whip butter! In fact, I revere butter and all her cousins. You know that scene in the Wizard of Oz where the Wicked Witch's soldiers and monkeys are chanting? I hear them droning, "O-leo. Oh, oh. O-leo."

4. Do your spoons spoon in the drawer? Have you ever noticed? And more importantly, if wooden spoons spoon do they get splinters? What goes on in the drawer, stays in the drawer.

5. You hear: "Dumpling, my Dumpling, come hither." The candles are lit, the fondue is dipping, the Godiva is pouring, the scallions are steaming and the music is playing.....but wait, the windows are open. Why did you close them? Because, as father used to say, we don't want to air condition the outside, do we?

6. Do you need a recipe to cook or are you a bohemian chef? Show us your reckless and wild side in the kitchen. Don't have one? Here's a recipe I made just for you: You will need a spatula, a whisk, a gallon of Chardonnay, a banana and a rump roast. What is the name of your dish? Lee Remick. Because my friend Mindy's dad, Mr. Goldenberg, always used to say, "Now, Lee Remick, what a dish!"

7. After dinner, the dishes are so dirty that the dishwasher refuses to wash them. What did they say to get in hot water? Something vulgar and classless. My dishes are White Sox fans. They can't help it.

8. Is your pot black? Is the Pope Catholic? Do bears shit in the woods?

9. What is the sexiest spice or condiment in your cabinet? What makes it so? The ketchup. I'd say that I love what comes out after I shake it and give it a little squeeze, but that kind of crass gutter talk is White Sox-worthy.

10. How much crock is really in your crock pot? I don't have a crock pot because my crock cannot be controlled nor contained.

Thank you, Blogoshere!

My sister bloggers have been so supportive and compassionate during my recent medical trauma. I appreciate it enormously. I didn't share this experience with many people in my real life, so the encouragement I received here was so important.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

"Benign. No Follow Up Required."

I'm not going to bury the lead. That's what my test results say, and I'm thrilled by them.

Here's how I found out.

I called my doctor's office this morning and got Nurse A. She began by saying, "You know we haven't even received your test results yet."

"No," said I, "I don't know that because no one called me back yesterday."

I explained that I realized that, with my doctor on vacation, there was no one there right now to read me the results. But didn't my doctor have another physician covering for him.

"Yes, but Dr. Mahoney is seeing obstetric emergencies only."

I told her that while I may not be bruised, bleeding or pregnant, this is an emergency for me and I have no intention of waiting until Monday to find out the test results. So would she please send the test results, when they come in, to my internist? Nurse A said she that since my internist was not in their network, she wasn't sure she could do that.

I pointed out that I live around the corner and would be very happy to stop in and pick up the results myself and walk them over to my internist because, after all, my test results are legally mine.

This rattled Nurse A who said she would "consult with the practice manager" and get back to me.

Minutes later Maria, another nurse, called me back. Amazingly, they found my test results! I guess they'd been there all along! Maria kept emphasizing that even though she's not an MD, she would be happy to read me the results as a courtesy and then fax them to my internist.

"Benign. Consistent in both views. No follow up required."

I told her sending the test results to my other doctor was unnecessary. She said my doctor would be calling me on Monday to confirm the good news. I like that.

Now I am happy. Now I am relaxed. For I am healthy, my circumstances got the respect they deserved, and Nurse A had what President Obama would call "a teaching experience," so she'll handle the next woman's mammogram results with a bit more compassion.

OK, so it's my fat black belt ...

But I'm comfortably wearing it on the last hole! (Or do I mean the first hole?) At any rate, it's as small as it gets, and I don't feel like a sausage. Could this mean that soon I'll be able to forsake my fat jeans, too?