A photo of my raging soul

Never mind the forecast, for the sky had lost control
Cause the fury and the broken thunder's come to match my raging soul

That's from "Stoney End." Laura Nyro wrote the song, Barbra Streisand sang it (and knocked it clear out of the park). And it describes how I felt this afternoon PERFECTLY.

I called my doctor's office first thing this AM and asked to be called when my test results came in. The receptionist told me that my doctor was on vacation all week, but his nurse would call me. I sat by the phone all day. Worrying, stressing, wondering ...

Then at 4:00 I called again and got a different receptionist. This one spoke to me as if I was mentally challenged. The nurse would not be calling me with test results because she's not qualified to do that. (The "duh" was unspoken but implied.) I said I needed to talk to someone, because there's no way I want to wait for a week to hear the results. The nurse was really, really busy, but she'd call me before she went home to discuss this. I left my number and the receptionist said, "Your (previous) message is right here."

I waited until 6:00, called back and got the service. THE BITCHES HAD GONE HOME! Neither the receptionist nor the mysterious nurse were available. If you were standing close enough, you could have heard the thunder clap deep in my soul. I want my test results.

My oldest friend is on vacation in California this week but graciously offered to have one of the doctors in the practice she manages (here in Chicagoland) read the report and get back to me. I also called my internist. I explained that my OB-GYN will be out of town this week and asked if she could help me. I was told by both my oldest friend and my internist that that hideous nurse will have to fax the info to one these two doctors, and because of the strict privacy laws, I may have to sign permission.

Whatever. I want my test results.

I don't know if I'm primarily angry with a soupcon of scared or if I'm terrified with a thin patina of livid. Whichever it is, it's an uncomfortable feeling and I really, really want to yell at someone right now.