Saturday 9 -- Settling the Score

1. Do you feel that you have “a score to settle” with anyone? Not anymore. As usually happens, the karma train took care of her. I'm thinking of a former co-worker, emphasis on the "former," the one I used to call The Freakazoid Bitch. It took a while, but ultimately the powers that be at work recognized how divisive and ineffective her management style is.

2. Do you own anything that you think is unbreakable? My initial response is "Reynaldo's indomitable spirit." Only I learned long ago that one never owns a cat, you share your home with him.

3. Tell us about a crazy thing you did in high school. During the middle of the night at a late-autumn sleepover, I took a dare and dove into the family's not-yet-drained pool. It was filthy and filled with plant life (I still remember opening my eyes under water and have never seen that particular sickly shade of green, before or since) and soooo cold. It was crazy and stupid and even dangerous, but my 15-year-old honor was in tact. (I know, I know -- big deal.)

4. Name the one talent of yours that you think is the best. Writing has always come easily, and now I make my living doing it.

5. Who wins American Idol? (if you don’t watch, tell us about a reality show that you do follow.) Adam! AdamAdamAdamAdam. (I like Adam.) I used to make fun of American Idol, but now I accept that it is more than a show, it's Life.

6. What is your favorite movie in black & white? My Man Godfrey.

7. What is one thing advertised too much on TV? The Snuggie.

8. What is your current favorite TV drama? Law & Order: SVU. Elliott and Olivia.

9. What is your current favorite TV comedy? Nancy Grace on HLN. Oh, you mean she doesn't mean to be funny?

Saturday 9: Settling the Score

Beer and baseball

I've been pretty busy at work lately, which is why I haven't been posting or commenting as much as usual. As workplaces go, I realize this is a pretty congenial sweatshop. For example, there's free beer every Friday afternoon. And, since my computer has a pretty powerful modem, it's easy for me to keep track of my beloved Cubs on mlb.com.

Beer and baseball go together, don't they? Like "rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong." Or is it more like, "shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom?" (OK, perhaps I have seen Grease too many times.)

Thursday Thirteen #106 -- By the Numbers

THIRTEEN STATS
ABOUT ONE GAL'S MUSINGS

In May 2009, this humble blog will celebrate its third birthday. In honor of that auspicious event -- and because after more than 100 TT's, it's hard to come up with new ideas -- I am devoting this week's Thursday Thirteen to my online journal and clandestine window to the world.

1) My profile has been viewed 2,700 times.

2) This is my 1,968th post.

3) According to my own labels, the most oft-discussed topic here is baseball (205 posts).

4) The post that received the most comments (44) is Thursday Thirteen #56 -- 13 of my favorite products.

5) The Thursday Thirteen that got the fewest comments (1 is the loneliest number) is the Thirteen Best Supremes Songs.

6) In the last 20 days, the post that has received the most hits is "It was on again this morning," my tirade against killer/narcissist/faux-feminist Bette Broderick way back in 2006. Someone visited this page again on Wednesday, 4/29/09.

7) Likewise, the most popular keyword search that brings people to this blog is tied to "It was on again this morning." The keyword is "Linda Kolkena," one of Bette's victims. 85.3% of new visitors to my blog this past month have found it through Linda.

8) Some of the weirder keywords include: "shirtless photos of the Osmond Brothers" and "gal fucking dressed up." That last person must have been very disappointed when he arrived at my blog.

9) Of those who used search engines to find me, 86% used Google.

10) In an average day this blog receives 44 visitors.

11) 73% leave as soon as they arrived (5 seconds).

12) 78% of my readers are from the good old US of A.

13) But in I had one hit each from Finland, Taiwan, Italy, Brazil, Denmark, Peru, New Zealand, Belgium, Turkey, Croatia and Argentina. This makes me feel truly international.

To participate yourself, or to look up more TT participants, visit the new hub (thursday-13.com).

My latest obsession

Everyone in the world should go to LIVESTRONG.COM and sign up for The Daily Plate!

This terrific site helps you set your own calorie and fitness goals, based on your age/gender/weight. Then it gives you the tools you need to track your own diet. You enter not only what you eat each day, but also everything you do. It analyzes how many calories you take in vs. how many you burn, and gives you a breakdown on what you eat.

For example, Quaker was outside of the building this morning, distributing free samples of their Chocolately Drizzle Mini Delight rice cakes. I entered that yummy little bag onto my "plate" and found that the 90 calories, 4 grams of fat, 30 mg. of sodium, 14 grams of carbs, etc., were automatically credited to the day's plate.

It's easy, it's interesting (you burn on average 120 calories/30 minutes by changing your sheets), and really very helpful.

BEST OF ALL, IT'S FREE!

Idol Observation

I always agreed with Simon, until tonight. I heard Matt indulge his way through a mannered, synthetic rendition of "My Funny Valentine." Amazingly, Simon thought it was authentic, with hints of Nat King Cole. Really? Oh-kaaaaay ...

I enjoyed everyone else. Kris was an adorable, fresh-faced sincere puppy on "Just the Way You Look Tonight." Alison surprised me with a straight up "Someone to Watch Over Me," which used her youth to a touching advantage.

This week, as last week, belonged to Danny and Adam. Danny was attractively alpha on "Come Rain or Shine," kicking it straight through the goal posts. Adam reminded me of Freddie Mercury as he sauntered down the steps singing "Feeling Good." He succeeded at every ambitious twist and turn Matt tried.

Buh-bye, Matt.

Just not destined to work out

My solid blue flats are a mess, with irreparably scuffed toes. I have two pair of cute Roxys (which remind me of my Vans from back in the olden days), but they are multicolored and sometimes I must dress like a sedate, responsible businesswoman and that calls for navy pumps.

So I found these on Zappos. And promptly ordered them. They were more than I could afford at the moment, but navy flats are hardly a frivolous expense, especially because I believe I'm meeting with the client next week.

However, I ordered them way too promptly because no sooner had I hit "send" than I discovered I already had a pair of almost-new navy flats (each with a tassel!). So I didn't need these new beauties.

But Zappos is so damn nice! I got an email saying they had upgraded and expedited the shipping on my new purchase. Then, for my convenience, I got a tracking number. Zappos is more than holding up their end of the deal, so how could I not keep the shoes?

They arrived today, and they pinch. Yes, I'm wearing heavier socks than I normally would, but still, if they hurt I won't wear them. So back they must go.

Me and the navy Trotters -- an infatuation that will never go any further. Sigh.

A Command Performance

Mimi has bestowed this lovely award on me. Naturally, I am honored, and honor-bound to follow the directions: "The Honest Scrap award comes with a caveat or 2. Firstly you have to tell your readers 10 things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly you have to tag 10 people with the award."

1) When I was 15, I loved Cubs first baseman Joe Pepitone so much that I cried when he was traded. And I'm not a crier. It was devastating. (I had this baseball card.)

2) I wear black only when I'm feeling especially lazy. It's really not a good color on me, leaves me looking washed out, but it goes with everything.

3) "Just the Way You Are" is one of those dumb songs that gets me every time. I know that Billy Joel left that particular muse two wives ago. I know it's a favorite of every wedding singer and karaoke crooner. But someone gave it to me once because it reminded him of me -- "I just want someone that I can talk to. I want you just the way you are." Verklempt!

4) I enjoy the show Morning Joe on MSNBC so much that I nearly ordered Joe Scarborough's book. Then I saw the title: The Last Best Hope: Restoring Conservatism and America's Promise. Oh well, never mind. Still, it's a refreshing show if you enjoy lively political discourse with humor but without incivility.

5) I ordered a pair of navy pumps from Zappos because I thought I had scuffed my only pair beyond the point of repair. Then I discovered I already had another, almost new pair. I really must clean out that closet! (I'm keeping the new ones.)

6) Up until today, when I looked it up, I had no idea where Aruba is.

7) I miss the show Kate and Allie.

8) Bob Hope never made me laugh. Not once. And he lived to be 100! A full century of not making me laugh.

9) If someone wrote my biography, I wonder what the turning points of my life have been. I believe I lack the perspective to recognize these things when they're happening.

10) I still haven't figured out how to hook up my DVD player.

Thanks to Mimi for tagging me. I must get back to work now, but will return later to tag.

Mom Update

She's SCRUBBING in the kitchen! It began with her discovering that her kitchen sink was stopped up. Once she fixed that, she noticed that the sink really needed a good cleaning and from there it hit her that the kitchen just looked neglected and she was inspired to get on it.

Saturday night she went to my sister's house to watch my niece and nephew play with their new WII.

She's come a long way in a little more than a week. Being more active makes her happy and I'm proud of her.

Hey, Chicago, what do you say? Cubs are gonna win today!

Put those brooms away! The Cubs spanked the Cardinals 10-3, and the four-game skid is finally over. Congratulations to Kosuke Fukodome, who had a terrific day at the plate today, his birthday. I imagine it will be a happy team that flies out to Arizona tonight.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Mud Meme

1. What are your current obsessions? My diet and exercise. I don't know how long this enthusiasm will last, but it's certainly better for me than some of my obsessions in days gone by.

2. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often? Jeans

3. What's for dinner? For Sunday dinner I plan on having meat of some sort. Sausage on my pizza, perhaps a juicy burger ...

4. Last thing you bought? Movie ticket for State of Play.

5. What are you listening to? Law & Order: SVU.

6. If you were a god/goddess who would you be? You mean I'm not a goddess?

7. Favorite holiday spots? Key West for New Year's Eve.

8. Reading right now? Go Down Together, the real story of Bonnie and Clyde.

9. 4 words to describe yourself. Strong, sentimental, optimistic, and short.

10. Guilty pleasure? Celebrity gossip. US, People, Showbiz Tonight, etc.

11. Who or what makes you laugh until you’re weak? My oldest friend. She just has a way of cracking me up.

12. Planning to travel to next? Key West for New Year's Eve.

13. Best thing you ate or drank lately? Steak sandwich at lunch Thursday. Yummy!

14. When did you last get tipsy? I mixed myself a pair of too-strong cran and vodkas one day after work nto that long ago.

15. Care to share some wisdom? If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.

16. Nicest thing anyone’s ever said to you? My best friend told me how easy I am to talk to.

See this movie

It's exciting and relevant and very well-written (the last plot twist took me completely by surprise, yet in retrospect it makes sense). I forget what a good actor Rusell Crowe is. His celebrity persona annoys me, but it shouldn't get in the way of performances like this one. Rachel McAdams is very good, too. Some of the best lines are Helen Mirren's and Jason Bateman's. Ben Affleck is the weak link, though. He's not bad, he just seems over his head.

If you happen to see Mark Harmon ...

Please tell him that I'm a little in love with him.

Thank you.

Cause for celebration

I completed my goal of 13 workouts this month ... with five days left to go! Today was an especially brutal exercise. My personal trainer, Monette, spent the first of four one-on-one hours with me. Ow! Ow! OW!

I learned how to do the exercises and use the equipment correctly, and how to make my work outs more productive. Also, when we were done, Monette and I had a nice little talk about what my goals are and how I felt about the routine we did today. I told her we are never doing that run up and down the stairs thing because I didn't feel safe, and she promised we'd come up with options I was more comfortable with.

Between this and my obsessive devotion to maintaining my food diary/Daily Plate at Livestrong.com, this should be the first of many small victories to come. I must keep reminding myself that many small victories combine to result in major success in terms of my health and fitness.

Saturday 9 -- A Little Less Conversation

1. If you could have just one more conversation with a person from your past, who would it be? I said something unnecessarily cruel to a former lover while we were breaking up. I was weary in mind and spirit and just wanted the drama of that night to end, so I said something that left scorched earth. I am sooooooo sorry. I wish I could tell him that I really did love him, that I believe he's a good man, that I hope he's happy ... and I am sorry.

2. Do your friends tend to be male or female? Both. No, they're not hermaphrodites. I mean my circle of friends includes a pretty even mix of men and women.

3. What is in your car’s trunk? I don't have car.

4. What was the last CD that you purchased? Live Down the Road by Marcia Ball.

5. What is your favorite movie and why? The Way We Were. Because Streisand is so ferociously her own girl. The movie shows the price she pays for her individualism, and the rewards for maintaining her integrity. Oh yeah, and Redford in Navy whites.

6. If you could wake up with a new talent tomorrow, what would it be? I'd sing like Streisand.

7. What is your favorite day of the week and why? Tuesday. I'm pretty productive at work because I've shaken off the weekend, and then I get home and watch Idol.

8. What are you wearing when you feel you’re at your best? Jeans and a t-shirt. Because that's what I'm almost always wearing.

9. When was the last time cried? I don't remember.

Saturday 9: A Little Less Conversation

Alone vs. Lonely

My art director/partner recently broke up with her fella. This has left her bereft. Trust me, she's not much fun when she has the blues.

Yesterday we attended a scintillating forum devoted to the ins and outs of reverse (yawn) mortgages. On the way there, she asked me if I liked living alone. Without hesitation, I said yes. She hates it.

It became obvious that she feels that since we are both alone, we should do more things together. Like dinner, movies, theater, and picking up men. This is the woman who feels that, with the right clothes and makeup and hair, I may actually get laid again some day. I didn't like where this conversation was going.

She seems to want us to enroll in eHarmony together.

I have no issue with eHarmony. I believe it works for many people. I just don't feel like it. And if I did, I'd do it alone. I know it's old-fashioned, but this gal still believes dating should be a one-on-one activity.

Thursday Thirteen #105 -- The Common Cold

THIRTEEN THINGS
YOU SHOULD KNOW
ABOUT THE COMMON COLD

Because I'm obsessing about the sniffles, coughs and drips that plagued me for a week and are just now drifting away ...

1) Colds usually begin with a low-grade fever and a sore throat, frequently accompanied by fatigue.

2) It's during the first three days of a cold that you're most contagious.

3) Post-nasal drip causes the sore throat and, eventually, the cough.

4) At the beginning of your cold, your nose will drip with watery secretions.

5) As the runny nose develops into a cough, the secretions will become thicker and darker. Mine were a yellowy-green. Let me assure you, it was as attractive as it sounds.

6) The common cold lasts from 7 to 14 days.

7) Children tend to come down with colds the most often, as many as 10/year, and it's estimated that 22 million school days are lost annually because of colds.

8) It's normal for an adult to have between 2 and four colds a year.

9) Statistically speaking, women have more colds than men. It's often assumed this is because women have closer contact with children.

10) While colds are not caused by cold weather, they do occur most often in the six coldest months of the year (October through March).

11) Some researchers believe this is because cold weather makes the inside lining of your nose drier and more vulnerable to viral infection.

12) Smokers get more colds than non-smokers, because smoke dries out your nasal passages.

13) It's been suggested that exercise can help prevent colds because it makes you breathe faster to help transfer oxygen from your lungs to your blood. If this is true, why did I get sick almost immediately after joining a new fitness club? HUH?

Thanks to WebMD for all this information.

To participate yourself, or to look up more TT participants, visit the new hub (thursday-13.com).

I'm with you, Professor Jennings

As Faber College's renowned English instructor, Professor Dave Jennings, famously said to his class at the bell, "Now I'm waiting for reports from some of you. Listen, I'm not joking. This is my job!"

That's how I feel today. One of my coworkers and I didn't agree on a headline for a postcard. She wants me to replace it with a headline we have used elsewhere. I have no issue with changing my headline, I just don't want to do the same thing we've done before. It's an infinite universe -- I'm sure I can come up with something new and different. I'm not being a diva, I just believe that recycling that old headline is sloppy and lazy. And she wants what she wants.

When I left my office for less than 20 minutes to pick up a ham and Swiss sandwich, she took the postcard to my boss. Then, while I was on the phone checking on my sick mother, she left me her revision on my desk with the notation, "As I discussed with Mike ..."

My boss is a go-along-to-get-along kinda guy, way more concerned with the Big Picture than I am and a big fan of workplace harmony. So when I confronted him about this, he was very conciliatory -- telling me he didn't think her suggestion compromised the project in the consumers' mind. After all, they won't remember a simple postcard headline once they have read it. True, but while consumers won't remember the majority of what I write after they read it, clients do, and that's no excuse for sloppy, lazy creative. I'm also less than thrilled that a coworker did an end run around me.

He was sorry I was upset and then I began to feel I was over-reacting, and … OH, HELL! Yes, I take it seriously. Because listen, I'm not joking. This is my job!

Idol Observation

Let me preface my comments by stating plainly:
I HATE DISCO!

Hated it back then, hate it now.

So I expected to hate "Disco Night" on American Idol. WRONG!

Four of this year's contestants took disco songs and made them palatable, even ENJOYABLE!

Kris was a true original and a pleasant surprise. Allison was a tough cookie with an edge. Danny and Adam were, again, the best. Nothing new there. But this is the first time I'd give the night to Danny. Strictly personal preference, because I like "September" and thought he did it justice, while Adam's slow and passionate "If I Can't Have You" just seemed to emphasize how redundant the lyrics are.

Lil's going home. Who will leave with her? I guess Matt or maybe Anoop. If it's Kris or Allison, I predict the judges will be sorry they used their one "save" last week.

Two personal calls from work

A fairly steady of stream of work has made its way into my office today. And that's a good thing, since I'm interested in keeping this job. But the best things that happened today at work have nothing to do with work.

My best friend is in town! We won't get to see each other because after spending the day in the Chicago office, he is being driven out to the far western burbs, near where his boss lives, and then tomorrow at dawn they are driving together out to Cincinnati. (Welcome to business travel in the Recession: hotels are cheaper in the way western burbs, and driving to Cincy in one car is cheaper than airfare for two.) Still, we enjoyed a lively conversation as he took a cab from the airport to the Chicago office. I didn't expect to be able to connect with him at all and it was a lovely surprise. Everything makes more sense after I talk to him. Hopefully his boss won't insist they have dinner together tonight so my friend will have time to chat with me tonight, too.

My mother did her own laundry! Now this is big news because her laundry room is downstairs in the basement. That's 11 stairs. She made the trip up and down those stairs 5 times in the course of washing and drying. Just a few days ago, that would have been impossible.

7s

Thank you, Kwizgiver ...

7 Things That Scare Me
1. squirrels
2. clowns
3. flying
4. being alone in an elevator (from the movie Dressed to Kill)
5. sudden noises late at night
6. waiting for test results
7. bees (I'm allergic to bee stings)

7 Things I Like
1. cats
2. Cubs baseball
3. cheeseburgers
4. potato chips
5. the morning paper
6. hot stone massages
7. shades of blue

7 Things I hate
1. THIS COLD!!!!
2. laundry
3. hot weather
4. having my picture taken
5. the sound of cardboard scraping against itself (think of folding a new moving box)
6. waiting in line at the post office
7. any itch I can't scratch (literal and metaphorical)

7 Things In My Room
1. bed
2. clothes hamper
3. TV
4. armoire
5. my very own Robert the Doll
6. makeup
7. lotsa magazines

7 Things About Me
1. I have a cold
2. I find humor in most things
3. I like my nose (when it's not stuffed up)
4. I love going to the movies
5. I love old black and white movies
6. I can be very sentimental
7. I am fascinated by our First Ladies

7 Things To Do Before I Die
1. see more of the US
2. redecorate this condo
3. pay off this condo
4. lose weight
5. get those varicose veins treated
6. find my perfect handbag
7. see the Cubs in the World Series

7 Things I Can Do
1. wiggle my ear
2. listen
3. think fast on my feet
4. recite all the lyrics to "American Pie" (all 20 verses)
5. remove stains
6. hem slacks/sleeves (important when you're 5'2)
7. easily get along with kids and critters

7 Things I Can't Do
1. paint
2. stay organized
3. sing
4. blow dry the back of my hair like Tony does
5. drive
6. grow my fingernails long
7. math

7 Favorite Movies
1. The Way We Were
2. The Godfather
3. My Man Godfrey
4. A Hard Day's Night
5. Gone with the Wind
6. Holiday
7. Die Hard

7 Things You Say The Most
1. The thing of it is
2. What the fuck?
3. Rey! (My cat, Reynaldo, is the feline version of Marley)
4. I'm sorry, but ...
5. It's an infinite universe
6. I could -- if I were someone else entirely
7. Cool

7 Favorite Songs
1. I Will by the Beatles
2. Why Haven't I Heard from You? by Reba McIntyre
3. River by James Taylor
4. My Brave Face by Paul McCartney
5. September by Earth, Wind & Fire
6. More than You Know by Barbra Streisand
7. What a Fool Believes by the Doobie Bros.

If you play, too, let me know so I can compare answers.

President as hero

I just saw a kid outside my building, skateboarding. He was about 12 and seemed to have a ton of pent-up, stuck-in-class-all-day energy to burn off. He was wearing a t-shirt similar to this one.

That's one of the reasons why I want Barack Obama to succeed.

Yes, because if he does well, we all do well. Of course, because I love my country and always hope my President will exercise good judgment, whether I voted for him or not. And because I find it very moving that a kid would feel good enough about the President that he'd proudly wear his face when he went out to play.

I Like to Share

Here's something I learned while looking up something else: The average cell phone plan is $60/month.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The 40 Meme

1. My uncle once : drove a really terrific, light blue Mustang convertible

2. Never in my life : have I smoked anything.

3. When I was seventeen : I graduated from high school.

4. High School was : shitty.

5. I will never forget : how shitty high school was.

6. I once met : Caroline Kennedy. She seemed a little sad and painfully shy, so I wasn't surprised at all that she dropped out of the running for Hillary Clinton's NY Senate seat.

7. There’s this girl I know who : won first place in her category at the statewide culinary competiton!

8. Once, at a bar : I wore a Shriner's fez. I don't recall why I did this, but it did earn me quite a few free drinks.

9. By noon, I’m usually : either working out or eating lunch.

10. Last night : I slept fitfully because of my damn cold.

11. If only I had : the ability to breathe through my nose!

12. Next time I go to gym/church : I'm confused as to why gym and church are interchangeable here ...

13. Susan Boyle : is suddenly a mainstay on CNN.

14. What worries me most : is being poor and dependent.

15. When I turn my head left, I see : a Thomas McKnight print of New Year's Eve on Michigan Ave.

16. When I turn my head right, I see : my TV

17. You know I’m lying when : I pretend to care about the White Sox

18. What I miss most about the eighties : my waist

19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be : Kate the cursed

20. By this time next year : I'll be a size smaller

21. A better name for me would be : Sneezy

22. I have a hard time understanding : Rush Limbaugh's popularity. I mean, he's so putrid.

23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll : take it more seriously

24. You know I like you if : I give you advice preceded by, "Promise you won't be mad at me?"

25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be : my director, or maybe my agent, who has been with me from the beginning

26. When I compare 80’s rock to 90’s rock : I prefer the 80s

27. Take my advice, never : date a man who is over 3o and still prefers to be called, "Stevie." (RED FLAG!)

28. My ideal breakfast is : Eggs, bacon and a muffin with strawberry jam

29. A song I love, but do not own is : "Katmandu" by Bob Seger

30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest : visit my church, Unity Temple. It's a wonderful Frank Lloyd Wright building.

31. My favorite Beatle is : Paul, of course. (If you didn't know that already, you must be new here.)

32. Why won’t people : be quiet during movies?

33. If you spend the night at my house : you'd better like cats.

34. I’d stop my wedding for : a Cubs play off game

35. The world could do without : so many cars! Let's take buses and trains whenever possible.

36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than : lick the butt of a cockroach. (They have butts, right?)

37. My favorite blonde is : Nice 'n Easy #9A Light Ash Blonde

38: Paper clips are more useful than : White Out

39. If I do anything well, it’s : write

40. And by the way : I'm really worn out today. I HATE this cold!

"I got first"

That was the three-word text I received this morning from my niece. She's been away since Thursday, participating in a statewide culinary competition. It was exciting enough that my niece, a sophomore, was one of the few lower classmen invited to participate. But to get first place! I don't know all the details yet, but I'm as proud of her as she is excited.

"This means I'm old"

So said my mother. She's home. Not an assisted living facility, but her own home. Her bedroom is filled with oxygen tanks and there's a sign on her front door that forbids smoking. In the living room is a walker that she needs to go from room to room. Using the walker and having the oxygen nearby depresses her because, "This means I'm old."

I reassured her that if she takes care of herself, in a few weeks the oxygen and the walker will be gone. Her pneumonia isn't necessarily that serious, but it is tenacious, and will insidiously sap her strength if she's not careful. I hope she gets it.

She refused to go to the assisted living facility, but a nurse will visit her 2 or 3 times a week. I'm hopeful that the presence of the walker and the oxygen will rattle her and make her take all this more seriously. I'm encouraged by her new fiesty attitude. She's my mother and I love her and I want her to fight for herself and her independence and health.

I would have liked to have visited with her longer, but I hated sneezing and coughing around my mother when her resistance is low.

A Revelation

I'm watching HBO's Grey Gardens and am amazed by Drew Barrymore's performance as Little Edie. She's disappeared into this part.

Jessica Lange plays Big Edie. She's an actress I appreciate but don't like. (There's something too technical/theatrical about her.) Drew Barrymore is a star I've never even thought of as an actress. More the fluffy, goofy red carpet clothes horse. But here in Grey Gardens, she's eccentric and touching.

As a Kennedyphile, I've always been aware the Beales' story (they're Jackie's crazy, impoverished cousins). I wonder how explanatory this screenplay is to the uninitiated. But that aside, I'm really enjoying this.

Back in the hospital

My mom can be a very bad patient. The fluid has returned to one of her lungs and she's back in the hospital to have it drained. Normally this could be done as an outpatient procedure, but her doctor doesn't trust her to take care of herself -- eat regularly, move regularly, take her meds as prescribed (not when she feels like it or remembers to) -- so he has admitted her.

An assisted living facility has been recommended for a week or two, so that she can recover fully under the watchful eyes of nurses. My kid sister and I are trying to convince her that this makes the most sense. We have to face facts -- my mother doesn't listen to her kids. Passive yet very stubborn by nature, she fibs or omits or out-and-out lies, tells us what we want to hear, and then follows a path that causes her harm over the long term. Perhaps she would do better with trained professionals who have seen all the tricks patients typically have up their sleeves.

I had to come back some time

I'm back at work. My cold is in the juicy, tiring, runny nose/phlegmy cough/endless wet tissue stage. So it's progressed from sore throat and fever to weak and headachey to this in just three days. I like to think I'm racing through the damn thing.

Comfort in sameness

Last night I saw A Chorus Line. It's my favorite show, and I think that's because it's the show I know the best. I saw it during it's original 1970s run in Chicago (back then I was still living at home and going downtown to see a lavish production was quite a big deal) and it was the first play I saw on Broadway on my first trip to New York (followed by dinner with Sardi's; oh, the glamor!). I had the soundtrack on vinyl and listened to it neverendingly on the portable stereo in my little yellow bedroom in my parents' home.

For the first time in years I heard "Dance 10, Looks 3," "At the Ballet," "Nothing," and my favorites, "What I Did for Love" and "One." (That's the finale of "One" shown above.) The magic is still there. Maybe it's because I'm still sick. Maybe it's because I'm worn out by work and worried about Mom. Perhaps watching this production was like revisiting an old friend. Maybe it's because the play really is exceptional. I'm willing to entertain any of these options.

Thursday Thirteen #104 -- The Shelfari Edition

THE LAST
THIRTEEN BOOKS
I HAVE READ

Complete reviews and purchase information for each of these books are available at Shelfari -- shelfari.com, just click on the book on my little bookshelf at right.

1. Oxygen by Carol Cassella. The best new novel I've read in quite some time. With the compassion of Jodi Picoult and the medical realism of Atul Gawande, Oxygen is a riveting new novel by a real-life anesthesiologist, an intimate story of relationships and family that collides with a high-stakes medical drama.

2. The Kennedy Legacy by Vincent Bzdek. John, Robert, and Ted Kennedy's individual stories can be seen as essentially one, each successive brother striving to fulfill the interrupted promise of the brother before. The closing of Ted Kennedy's chapter in America’s political and cultural life means that, for the first time perhaps, the real measure of the Kennedy legacy can finally be taken.

3. Crimson Joy by Robert B. Parker. An older Spencer I somehow missed, and really enjoyed. They call him the "Red Rose Killer" because he leaves one on the body of each woman he kills. But then the madman's eyes turn to Susan Silverman, and Spenser is on the case. For when Susan's life is in danger, Spenser becomes a hard-fisted, unstoppable locomotive--determined to bring the criminal to justice no matter what the odds!

4. Die, My Love by Kathryn Casey. True crime. The day before Halloween 2004 was the last day on Earth for respected, well-liked college professor Fred Jablin. That morning, a neighbor discovered his body lying in a pool of blood in the driveway of Jablin's Virginia home. Police immediately turned their attentions to the victim's ex-wife, Piper, a petite, pretty Texas lawyer who had lost a bitter custody battle and would do anything to get her kids back. But Piper was in Houston, one thousand miles away, at the time of the slaying and couldn't possibly have been the killer . . . could she?

5. Boy Meets Girl by Meg Cabot. Interesting approach -- a story told entirely through emails and voicemails. Meet Kate Mackenzie. She works for the T.O.D. (short for Tyrannical Office Despot, also known as Amy Jenkins,Director of the Human Resources Divisionat the New York Journal), is sleeping on the couch because herboyfriend of ten years refuses to commit, can't find an affordable studio apartment, anywhere in New York City and thinks things can't get any worse. They can.

6. Stranger in Paradise by Robert B. Parker. As bad as Crimson Joy is good, and a good example of why Parker has to be the most frustating author EVER! An Apache hit man arrives in Paradise to find a missing girl and snuff out her mother. But his conscience is getting the best of him. If he doesn’t make the hit, he’ll pay for it. So might Jesse Stone, who’s been enlisted to protect them all.

7. Dewey by Vicky Myron. Recommended for all cat lovers. How much of an impact can an animal have? How many lives can one cat touch? How is it possible for an abandoned kitten to transform a small library, save a classic American town, and eventually become famous around the world? You can't even begin to answer those questions until you hear the charming story of Dewey Readmore Books, the beloved library cat of Spencer, Iowa.

8. Rough Weather by Robert B. Parker. A Spencer mystery that I enjoyed. (Maybe I should just stick with Spenser and forget Stone.) A hurricane hinders a kidnapping and Spenser goes on a search for the man responsible— the infamous Gray Man, who has both helped and hunted Spenser in the past.

9. American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld. Much better than I expected. On what might become one of the most significant days in her husband’s presidency, Alice Blackwell considers the strange and unlikely path that has led her to the White House–and the repercussions of a life lived, as she puts it, “almost in opposition to itself.” A kind, bookish only child born in the 1940s, Alice learned the virtues of politeness early on from her stolid parents and small Wisconsin hometown. But a tragic accident when she was seventeen shattered her identity and made her understand the fragility of life and the tenuousness of luck. So more than a decade later, when she met boisterous, charismatic Charlie Blackwell, she hardly gave him a second look: She was serious and thoughtful, and he would rather crack a joke than offer a real insight; he was the wealthy son of a bastion family of the Republican party, and she was a school librarian and registered Democrat. Comfortable in her quiet and unassuming life, she felt inured to his charms. And then, much to her surprise, Alice fell for Charlie.

10. Lord of the Flies by William Golding. I got more out of this as adult than I did as an adolescent. A classic tale about a group of English schoolboys who are plane-wrecked on a deserted island is just as chilling and relevant today as when it was first published in 1954. At first, the stranded boys cooperate, attempting to gather food, make shelters, and maintain signal fires. Overseeing their efforts are Ralph, "the boy with fair hair," and Piggy, Ralph's chubby, wisdom-dispensing sidekick whose thick spectacles come in handy for lighting fires. Although Ralph tries to impose order and delegate responsibility, there are many in their number who would rather swim, play, or hunt the island's wild pig population. Soon Ralph's rules are being ignored or challenged outright. His fiercest antagonist is Jack, the redheaded leader of the pig hunters, who manages to lure away many of the boys to join his band of painted savages. The situation deteriorates as the trappings of civilization continue to fall away, until Ralph discovers that instead of being hunters, he and Piggy have become the hunted: "He forgot his words, his hunger and thirst, and became fear; hopeless fear on flying feet." Golding's gripping novel explores the boundary between human reason and animal instinct, all on the brutal playing field of adolescent competition.

11. Jemimia J: A Novel about Ugly Ducklings & Swans by Jane Green. The best Jane Green book I've read. Jemima Jones is overweight. About one hundred pounds overweight. Treated like a maid by her thin and social-climbing roommates, and lorded over by the beautiful Geraldine (less talented but better paid) at the Kilburn Herald, Jemima finds that her only consolation is food. Add to this her passion for her charming, sexy, and unobtainable colleague Ben, and Jemima knows her life is in need of a serious change. When she meets Brad, an eligible California hunk, over the Internet, she has the perfect opportunity to reinvent herself–as JJ, the slim, beautiful, gym-obsessed glamour girl. But when her long-distance Romeo demands that they meet, she must conquer her food addiction to become the bone-thin model of her e-mails–no small feat.

12. Up for Renewal by Cathy Alter. Very cool premise. By age thirty-seven, Cathy Alter had made a mess of her life. With a failed marriage already under her belt, she was continuing down the path of poor decisions, one paved with a steady stream of junk food, unpaid bills, questionable friends, and highly inappropriate men. So she sat down and asked herself what she truly wanted. A decent guy. A nicer home. More protein. When she took a closer look at her wants, she noticed something that seemed very familiar -- with the addition of exclamation points, her list could easily be transformed into the cover lines on every women's magazine: Find the love you deserve! Paint to the rescue! Eggs-actly perfect meals! So Cathy gave over her life to the glossies for the next twelve months, resolving to follow their advice without question. By the end of her subscriptions, she would get rid of upper-arm jiggle, crawl out of debt, host the perfect dinner party, run a mile without puking, engage in better bathtub booty, ask for a raise, and rehaul her apartment.

13, The Cat Who Moved a Mountain by Lillian Jackson Braun. I enjoy this series, and this is one of the better installments. On vacation in the Big Potato Mountains, Qwilleran stumbles into a mystery involving the murder of J. J. Hawkinfield, the developer who was pushed off a mountain years before after announcing his plans to develop the region.

To participate yourself,
or to look up more TT participants,
visit the new hub (thursday-13.com).

How can this be?

I've been eating healthier. (A serious reduction in sweets and increase in fruits.) I've been working out more. (Refer to the ticker on the right.) So how can I have a fever this morning? IT'S NOT FAIR!

I have theater tickets for tonight. A Chorus Line. I'm going anyway. Comfort food at South Water Kitchen and one of my favorite musicals can only be good for what ails me. (At least that's the plan now ...)

I did stay home from work today, though. I'm missing the How to Rectify the Gal's Fuck Up meeting. It's been scheduled and rescheduled so that we can have a full house and my humiliation is complete. I've had this damn meeting hanging over my head since last week. Scheduled for Friday but the office closed early. Then for Monday, but one of the art directors took a long weekend. Then yesterday, but one of the account execs was out. Now today. and I have a fever. If it was a migraine instead of a fever, I'd accuse myself of falling victim to a psychosomatic malady.

Atta Girl!

My mother went to see her doctor on Tuesday! I'm so happy. Since leaving the hospital, she has not been bouncing back as well as anyone had hoped. She's weak, she's breathless, she has trouble walking ...

Up until Easter. she was refusing to call the doctor and update him. It didn't matter what I said, or my sisters said. Every day she said she wanted to give it "one more day" before she spoke to her physician.

On Easter Sunday I had a private conversation with her. I told her that if I sounded as though I was angry with her, it's because I was. I felt as though she was choosing to leave me. Choosing to die rather than get well. I told her that she's still my mommy and I still need her. She promised me that day that she would phone her doctor on Monday.

I didn't expect she'd really do it, but she did!

She called on Monday, went in for tests and a consultation today, and should return later in the week after the results are in. The doctor is unhappy with her recovery, but doesn't feel she needs to go back into the hospital. We're all grateful for that!

Big Day in the Land of Blago

I have to admit it: I'm amused by his chutzpah, despite myself.

First, Rod Blagojevich pleaded "not guilty" to 19 counts of of corruption. He's facing substantial jail time if found guilty.

Then his lawyer requested "loosened travel restrictions" on the former gov. so that he can star in I'm a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here beginning on June 1 on NBC. According to the Chicago Tribune, NBC "describes the show as Swiss Family Robinson-type competition in which 10 celebrities are dropped in the heart of the jungle 'to face fun and comedic challenges designed to test their survival skills.' American viewers decide which celebrities stay or go, in addition to selecting the challenges used to earn food, supplies and luxury items."

For anyone who has been curious ...

This is a self portrait of The Gal Herself. Really.

If you can't be with the one you love

I want to be true to Mr. Rowing Machine. I've been told he's the best for me at this time of my life. But what's a gal to do when her Mr. Right isn't available? She has to settle for Mr. Right Now ...

You see, there's the downtown health club I try to go to (with only limited success) at lunchtime and there's my neighborhood health club I go to on weekends and evenings if I've missed by lunchtime workout. The personal trainer I met with on Saturday gave me sound reasons* why Mr. Rowing Machine should be my workout partner of choice. But the downtown health club doesn't have a rowing machine! So I had to make do with the elliptical.

I am enormously proud of myself. As of today, I've already completed 10 of my target 13 monthly workouts ... and it's only the 14th! I hope I start seeing results so I will be compelled to keep moving, even after this initial burst of enthusiasm wears off.


* Low impact and easy on my feet and knees, good for my shoulders and back -- which spend hours jus as they are now, hunched over a keyboard