Thinking back to 1998

When my niece was almost 6, she was obsessed with the animated Anastasia. She had a dream where she walked into an Anastasia store that only sold Anastasia stuff. As her dream went, she could purchase everything Anastasia for $100, and she had exactly $100 in her purse.

I went on eBay and purchased Anastasia memorabilia from all over the world (my favorite: plastic Anasastia medallions that had been packaged in cereal boxes in Ireland). I spread them out all over my apartment and put a sign on the front door: Anastasia Store -- Everything $100. The look on her face when she came in the door, the way she clasped her hands together under her chin and looked around the room in wonderment at the Anastasia dolls and books and puzzles and pillowcase, etc. ... I'll never forget it. How often in life do you get to make someone's dream come true?

Now she's almost 20 and has just moved into her first place with her boyfriend. It's a one BR cottage. He is happy because, even though it is small and old and has crappy floors, it's one of the few stand-alone rentals they could afford. She is happy because it has a fireplace and she thinks it's the Taj Mahal.

I am happy that she is enjoying her college life so much. She is getting great grades, and has made friends and has fallen in love. Hooray for her.

But you have to forgive me if sometimes I miss the little girl who laced her fingers together under her chin when she was (so easily) delighted.

My first early Friday

The office closes at 12:30 on Fridays in summer. I stayed a little late and got in my front door at 2:00. I made myself a hotdog and took a nap. It felt sooooo luxurious!

Now I'm going to wash clothes, while most of the other tenants are still at work so I anticipate I'll have the laundry room all to myself. Bliss!

Trifecta

This weekend's challenge: Using up to 333 words, recount a time of life that can be clearly identified by the number three. The story should be be true-ish, and an artistic creation, not just a play-by-play account. Think less "blog post" and more "creative writing." 


The landlord’s tour didn't take long because the apartment was only 650 square feet. Just a three-room walk-up on the top floor of a “vintage building,” which is real estate speak for “real old.” As we moved from living room to dining room to bathroom, I was indifferent. All I  saw were badly damaged hardwood floors,  a tub but no shower, and steam heat but no air conditioner.

“Ok,” I thought. “It’s not great but it’s what I can afford.”

But when we got to the narrow galley kitchen, I fell in love.

A wide, shallow pantry took up half one wall, a sink with exposed plumbing  took up the rest. There was an old Frigidaire that would require defrosting with pans of boiling water and my blow-dryer set on high, and a gas stove that would have to be lit with matches. The heavy backdoor had a transom! And there was an odd little set of three shelves, waist high and recessed into the wall.

“What’s up with this?” I asked.

“This building is from the 1920s,” the landlord explained. “That was the door where the iceman made his deliveries.”

Suddenly I was enchanted. It was no longer a dingy old apartment, no longer just what I could afford. Now it was a home where generations of women before me had lived. I could imagine one wearing a house dress, standing right here, preparing dinner while hearing about the Crash of 1929 on the radio. Maybe another had come in through this big back door after seeing Casablanca on a date with her boyfriend. All at once I saw beauty and heritage in this kitchen, as only a highly-romantic 18-year-old girl can, and I believed I belonged with those women I imagined had stood on this old linoleum before.

"I'll take it." The three magic words sprang from my lips and Apt. 3A was mine. I lived here happily for more than 20 years.

Thursday Thirteen #174

THIRTEEN GREAT 
TIME WASTING WEBSITES

Here's where I go when I don't feel like working, whether I'm at home or at the office.

1) Amazon. "Online retailer of books, movies, music and games along with electronics, toys, apparel, sports, tools, groceries and general home and garden items."

2) Facebook. "Facebook is a social utility that connects people with friends and others who work, study and live around them."

3) Twitter. "Follow your friends, experts, favorite celebrities, and breaking news."

4) IMDB.com. "The biggest, best, most award-winning movie site on the planet."

5) WebMD. "The leading source for trustworthy and timely health and medical news and information."

6) The Perpetual Kid. "Home to the largest selection of fun & functional gifts for the young at heart!"

7) Life Photo Archive. "Search millions of photographs from the LIFE photo archive, stretching from the 1950s to today."

8) Pogo. "A great place to play free online games."

9) Morning Joe. Clips from this Gal's personal favorite news show.

10) CNN. "The latest breaking news and information on the latest top stories, weather, business, entertainment, politics, and more."

11) John F. Kennedy Library. "The John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum is the presidential library and museum of the 35th President of the United States, John F. Kennedy." The archives are a treasure trove that makes my geeky heart beat faster.

12) Trip Advisor. "Unbiased hotel reviews, photos and travel advice for hotels and vacations." A great place for research or daydreaming.

13) MLB.com. Everything baseball. You can even watch games in real time with MLB Gameday.

What about you? Where are your cyber hideouts?

For more information about the Thursday Thirteen,

or to play yourself, click here.

I didn't expect to care

Just saw Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, come out onto the balcony to officially wave at her subjects as they celebrate her Diamond Jubilee. The Royal Air Force is flying overhead, trailing red, white and blue vapors. She looks so delicate and dignified and grateful that I want to cry.

Sixty years is a long time and she's reigned through a lot of history. Congratulations, old girl.

God Save the Queen!

Trifecta

This week's challenge: Using between 33 and 333 words, write a response including the third definition of the word:

NEW (adjective)

3: having been in a relationship or condition but a short time  

It wasn't an alarm clock that woke her. It was the sun streaming through the bedroom blinds. Her feet hit the floor and, for once, she wasn't in any particular hurry to get anywhere. 

She ran a warm, scented bath and relaxed, finally using her deep-cleansing, ultra-firming facial mask. The tube had been sitting on the side of the tub, untouched, for months. Because really, until now, when had she the luxury of 20 minutes for letting "an exclusive blend of vitamins and co-enzymes smooth away fine lines and wrinkles?"

Wrapped in her bathrobe, she settled onto the sofa to watch the fourth hour of the TODAY Show. There were Kathie Lee and Hoda, goofing and sipping boxed wine, just like the parody on SNL. She was surprised – the first half hour, from 7:00 to 7:30, was always so intense. Watching these two silly women laugh about the Kardashians was much more pleasant than the footage of wars and plane crashes and natural disasters that had begun her weekdays. She propped her fuzzy-slippered feet onto the coffee table and noticed the cardboard Hallmark crown she'd casually tossed there when she got home from yesterday's office party.

Yesterday. When she woke up yesterday, she was somebody's employee. As she had been every morning for 42 years.

This morning, she was a new retiree. She put the crown on her freshly-shampooed head, sat back and smiled. This felt gooooooood.

She's waking up in Quito

She is my best friend's oldest daughter, and Quito is the capital of Ecuador. She's on a 17-day school trip that will take her through city markets and small local farms (she's helping with the crops) and even horseback riding around a volcano. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and he's thrilled for her ... except ...

As soon as she gets back in the United States, she has to take off for a three-day, previously scheduled basketball camp at the local university. So now he won't see her now until Sunday night, June 25. She's missing his birthday, her birthday and Father's Day.

He says he's more lonesome than worried (which amused me, since she just left this morning). Never mind that she's being supervised every step of the way, that she's going to have the best month of her young life. He's bummed. Because in his mind, she hasn't just finished her freshman year of high school. In his heart, they still look like this.

Knowing how bad he feels about not having her with him on their birthdays and Father's Day, I'm proud of him for sending her off with a kiss and a hug but no guilt.

He actually said this in an email

From the CCO: "Our office manager will be letting people know when the move will happen and where their new desk is later this week."

My new desk? What? Am I in third grade?

I am trying soooo hard not to be grumpy about moving to Tiny Cube City.

Lunch at my desk

I have to get my own work, plus my freelance project, done. And I will. It just won't be pretty. Fortunately one of my real projects has hit a snag that makes continuing difficult. So I'll crank on the freelance.

$300 more

That's the difference in upfront price between Key West 2011 and Key West 2012. New Year's in the Keys is an expensive proposition to begin with. Waiting two months -- usually I book in April -- makes it even more so. I went ahead and did it -- even though the friend I am going to visit is still pretending he may not be there -- because the longer I put it off, the more it will cost me.

My friend down there is very dear to me and loves me very much. I want to support him in every way I can as he struggles through this difficult process of finding another job as a college professor. The thing of it is, there's only one college in Key West and his position has been eliminated. So he has to relocate, no easy task since the real estate market down there is moribund and he has an enormous mortgage on a house he can't sell. He and his lover are now each working two jobs (together they currently represent accounting, security, hospitality and publishing) to avoid filing bankruptcy. Meanwhile, my friend keeps applying for teaching jobs. But the 2011-12 school year is over. If he finds himself at one of the colleges he desperately wants to join, it won't be until autumn. There's no way they can unload that house at a decent price by then. So whether he's willing to admit it to himself or not, he's going to be there for Christmas break.

That's why I just went ahead and booked the trip without telling him. I want to be there with him for the holidays. I also send gasoline gift cards to him whenever I can. $25 is two hours' pre-tax salary for him now, and with gas $4/gallon, I know he appreciates it. But he's very proud, so I must be careful not to be too generous because it might embarrass him.

And besides, I really can't afford to be all that generous myself these days. I keep recalling what flight attendants always tell us -- we must make sure we're wearing our own oxygen masks before we can assist the traveling companions who need our help. If I allow my own finances to deteriorate, I can't help anyone else.

God, I'm sick of thinking about money!

Should have done more

Laundry ... grocery shopping ... bills ... donated a dozen pairs of jeans to Goodwill and bought new dress slacks at Catherine's (after trying unsuccessfully at Kohl's and Burlington Coat Factory to find a pair to cover my burgeoning ass). Played Scrabble with my nephew. Napped. Watched the Cubs do well enough (though I recognize this will not be a winning season). It was a nice, laid back weekend and I enjoyed most of it (except the Super Sized pant part).

Didn't, however, make a dent in the new freelance assignment I promised to have done by noon on Tuesday. That was stupid. But after all these decades in advertising, I need a looming deadline to be motivated.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Imaginary Meme, Part Three

 
41. Growing up, who was the easier mark: Mom or Dad? Mom. Dad was a hard-ass.

42. What is the stupidest pet that you ever saw? Nothing springs to mind. Sorry.
 
43. Tell us about a band whose every CD is a “must have”. She wasn't a band, but Amy, Amy, Amy. I'm so gonna miss her.

44. Where you surprised when Jim Parsons came out? Kind of. I mean, he seems rather asexual.

45. Have you ever shoplifted? No.

46. We currently have a person who plays both this meme and Saturday 9 who signs in to Mr. Linky every week. Yet, if you click on that link, you are told that only “members” can read the blog. Why do you think that person even bothers to sign in or for that matter, do the meme? (Don't misunderstand, we have no rules and we aren't angry. But it is damn peculiar, no?) Who is it? I wanna know! This leaves me as frustrated as when I read a blind item on Gawker. 
 
47. Have you ever driven a Ferrari? No. But I have driven a 1971 Chevy Impala. I don't imagine the experiences would be similar.

48. What do you call those little plastic things on the ends of shoelaces? Ah ha! I KNOW THIS! Aglet.

49. Have you ever walked more than a mile? Yes. It's not that big a deal.

50. Do you believe in magic? I could tell you about magic, it would free your soul. But it's like trying to tell a stranger about rock and roll.

51. Have you ever been arrested? No.

52. Have you ever skinny dipped? No.

53. Explain what you think about hippies. The same as I think about rotary dial phones and antenna TV.

54. New York or California? New York.

55. Have you ever been dumped? Yes. It was not fun.

56. What are you wearing right now? A little something from John Paul Gaultier's Spring line. It's so very me.

57. John Edwards had a mistrial. How do you think he conducted himself after the verdict? Well, I was glad that he finally publicly acknowledged little Quinn. And while I'm glad he believes God isn't done with him, I'm afraid I am. Exit Stage Left, sir.

58. Did you watch the series finale of House? Nope.

59. You may need to go back a long way if you are old like Harriet. Who was the last person who asked you out? (Or that asked you out. Same dumb question either way.) A cab driver who heralded from a foreign land asked me if I felt we had "a love connection." Does that count?
 

60. Do you have any collections? I have accumulated a lot about the 1960s. I suppose we could consider that a collection.

"Only if I can call The Gal."

Music to my ears! My friend Kathleen took a new job (I think her title is "Goddess of All She Surveys") earlier this year and I'm happy to report she believes that this little ol' gal is essential to her being able to get everything she wants accomplished. How flattering is that! Since her company's offices are currently located in some suburb with an area code most foreign to me, it's out of the question. But, when their lease is up sometime over the next 9 months or so, Kathleen is confident that they will be moving closer in to civilization. They are an international company, and being this far away from O'Hare is inconvenient for everyone involved. Depending where their new offices are, I'm interested in talking about the move.

In the meantime, I am doing some freelance assignments for Kathleen's company. It helps me out because I have stupidly let my credit cards get away from me ... again! It helps her out because it helps her make the argument that there are more efficient ways to handle creative than how they have been doing it. I don't work directly with Kathleen, though. I'm dealing exclusively with her new assistant, a mid-level marketing manger named Becky.

I'm happy to report that this arrangement is working well for both of us. The first project we have collaborated on has already netted me $900 (though, as is the way with freelance work, I don't have it in hand yet) and I may make up to $750 more.

And Becky is so happy with the work that she called me yesterday for another quick job. Kathleen told her they needed to get something written, produced and mailed fast.  Kathleen asked her, "Becky, can you get this done?"

Her response: "Only if I can call The Gal."

 Cha-ching! Here comes another (approx.) $500.

Even better, it's good to know my efforts are appreciated. I'm an old woman in a young person's game. The positive reinforcement is very welcome just about now!

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Crown of Creation

1. Do you understand a belief model based on creationism? Not really.

2. Is your house run more like a dictatorship or a democracy? I live alone. The only policy debate is among my personalities.

3. Are you likely to forgive a transgression and give someone a second chance? Depends on the person and the transgression.
 

4. Is religion a big part of your life? Yes

5. Do you feel your job (or your spouse's if you work at home) is safe? Yes

6. Do you believe in gay marriage? Why? Yes. Because the arguments against it are dopey. For example, if "marriage" is really only valid because God wants us to have children, then all marriages between people who are childless or where the woman is over 50 should be annulled.

7. Do you think the current U.S. war will lead to a more peaceful world? No.

8. Do you like people with swagger? I have been attracted to men with a certain air of confidence and cool, typified by Los Bandidos Yanquis.

9. What kind of budget do you live on, is it tight or carefree? Tight. I am working on that, though. I'm trying not to spend so much, and I have accepted a few freelance assignments to bring a little more in.

Our favorite son returns

I admit that, as I watch his administration unfold day by day, I'm less than completely enamored with Barack Obama. I thought his support for gay marriage was bloodless and politically motivated. I am disturbed that his foreign policy is really just a continuation of George W. Bush's.

But in the abstract, I am so proud of him. I believe in what he represents. Like Bill Clinton, but even more so, Barack Obama proves that we are in control of our own fates in this country. His childhood was unconventional and chaotic. But he was smart, driven and talented and he made the most of his gifts.

And in the best ways, he represents the City of Chicago. He's at once idealistic and pragmatic. He's tough. And tonight, he's home.

He attended a fundraiser at one of my favorite buildings -- The Cultural Center. I pass it every workday but it's one of those sites that's so majestic I really never tired of looking at it. Over the past 100 years, it's been a Civil War Memorial and a public library and now it's the home to concerts and art exhibits.

And tonight, it plays host to our favorite son, President Barack Obama, and it was exciting to see the sidewalks filled with people, all their camera phones pointed at the building, hoping to see him enter. The el platform was full, too -- not with the usual Friday rush commuters but instead with citizens wanting an elevated view of the Prez.

It was inspiring and fun.

Trifecta

This weekend's challenge: Using exactly 33 words, write something that begins with the words in bold --

It wasn't the first time. And, alas, it probably wouldn’t be the last, either. Yes, it felt lonely at times, always being the one who loved more. But she couldn’t help it. It was just how she loved.

My record is broken

For the first time in 2012, I didn't hit my goal of 13 workouts this month. I only made it over there 11 times. Oh well. Tomorrow begins a new month and the counter goes back to zero.







Free images from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Thursday Thirteen #173

THIRTEEN QUOTES FROM JOHN F. KENNEDY

This week marks the 95th anniversary of his birth. Since so much has been written about him,* I thought it would be refreshing to let him speak for himself.

1. When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

2. We want to build a world of peace where the weak are secure and the strong are just.

3. Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.

4. The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.

5. There are risks to any program of action. But they are far less than the long-range costs of inaction.

6. If we cannot now end our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity.

7. I look forward to a future in which our country will match its military strength with our moral restraint, its wealth with our wisdom, its power with our purpose.

8. Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

9. Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.

10. Domestic policy can only defeat us; foreign policy can kill us.

11. The basic problems facing the world today are not susceptible to a military solution.

 

12. Change is the law of life. And those who look only at the past or present are certain to miss the future.

13.  Democracy and defense are not substitutes for one another. Either alone with fail.

*Amazon lists more than 400 titles devoted solely to him. That doesn't count books written about his widow, his children, his brothers, or the Presidency.

For more information about the Thursday Thirteen,

or to play yourself, click here.

Auf Wiedersehen, Archie!

My oldest friend's six months' old flirtation with Archie Bunker is officially over. After only two dates, lots of emails and many dashed hopes on her part, she's moving on. Yea!

She's signed up for eHarmony and is going out with a lawyer on Saturday afternoon! Yea!

I don't care that he's a lawyer, she does. But I care that it's happening Saturday. For, if it's Saturday, then she's not spending this weekend with her cousin's family up in the mountains, 90 minutes away from her Beverly Hills home. I think this is a very good thing because her cousin is never going to be the support system my friend and her kids need. Instead of fleeing every weekend, spending an hour and a half in the car, she's going to be in her own neighborhood.

I wish she was putting down roots in Beverly Hills by attending a church or volunteering or joining a book group, because tying your wagon to a man is never a sure thing. But I'm happy she's reaching for happiness, right there where she is. Because, as Col. Potter once said on M*A*S*H, "If you're not where you are, you're nowhere."

But he so clearly wanted to be petted!

The trains were messed up this evening -- there was a fire near the tracks somewhere and all the trains were delayed. Anyway, we were all on the platform for a long time, waiting. And there was this adorable yellow lab, there assisting a woman with a cane.

He was either new to his job or really bored because he kept looking longingly at everyone around him. He wanted to sniff! He wanted to sniff soooo badly! And you could tell that a good, hard head rub would be heaven.

I resisted, but it was hard.

Continuing to touch the better angels of my nature

There's a fabulous, off-the-cuff moment in one of JFK's televised press conferences. Asked if he was happy in his current position, ie leader of the free world, he replied, that he was indeed when you consider, "the ancient Greek definition of happiness was the full use of your powers along lines of excellence."

After President George W. Bush somehow made intellectualism a negative thing, our politicians seem to feel that showing they are educated, that they have curiosity about our world and its history is bad. (Makes them, in Rick Santorum's famous phrase, "snobs.") I think it's sad that, instead of being proud that he's fluent in French, Mitt Romney refuses to speak it on camera. President Kennedy reveled in other cultures. He also believed that history, our own and that of other countries, "can teach, offer hope, provide inspiration."

In public addresses, he often drew from the Greeks and the Chinese ("When written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is two characters; one represents danger and the other represents opportunity."). One of his favorite stories, an oft-repeated metaphor for how to use time and view the future, was of a French Army General from the 1920s. "Marshall Lyautey once asked his gardener to plant a tree. The gardener objected that the tree was slow growing and would not reach maturity for 100 years. The Marshall replied, 'In that case, there is no time to lose. Plant it this afternoon!'"

These references were not scripted. They came from his voracious personal reading, they reflected what captured his imagination and touched his heart.

Today, on the 95th anniversary of his birth, I want to celebrate what it is about him that captures my imagination and continues to touch my heart -- his optimism, his willingness to experiment and innovate, most of all, his love of words and ideas and history. When JFK was in the Oval Office, what is now considered "elitist" was glamorous. One of my favorite moments in his widow's Historic Conversations comes when she describes his reading. He spent every spare moment reading, and he kept a book open and within sight even when he was shaving or tying his tie.

"Let us think of education as the means of developing our greatest abilities, 

because in each of us there is a private hope and dream which, fulfilled, 

can be translated into benefit for everyone and greater strength for our nation."

This is the toughest thing about giving blood

I'm a platelet donor, which leaves me in demand. But the reason I don't give as often as I could isn't the time it takes, or the needle. It's because holding a book is nearly impossible.

I was turned on to this site by Kwizgiver.

Trifecta

This week's challenge: Using between 33 and 333 words, write a response including the third definition of the word:
DECAY (intransitive verb)

3: to fall into ruin

Because brevity is such a tough nut for me to crack, I'm working to respond to the prompt in exactly 33 words.

Every day I turn to Neutrogena, Aveeno, Clinique and The Body Shop. I cleanse, exfoliate and moisturize with serums, scrubs and lotions. Still I decay. It would be cheaper to accept the inevitable.

The Wall of Photos

I am trying so hard, you know? I want to get along with my mother because I love her, because she is the way she is, and because at this point in our lives, she is not going to change. And maybe she isn't even supposed to change. I keep returning to that verse from Isaiah and that televised ministry I saw a couple weeks ago:

"It’s easy to focus on others’ faults and what we would like to change about them. But, God is the one that put the talents, creativity and strengths into each person.  Isaiah 64:8 says, 'We’re the clay and you’re our potter: all of us are what you made us.' Our job isn’t to change people. Learn to accept that God is the one directing their steps, making them and molding them into who He wants them to be. If you’ll learn to love, honor and accept people for who they are right now, your relationships will go to a whole new level."

Yesterday I went to see her, to play with my nephew, which I frequently do on Sundays. She was so happy to see me, enjoyed how he and I make one another laugh. She hugged me a lot and wanted me to stay longer. All that is good, right?

Well, except for her new Wall of Photos. A Mother's Day gift to her from my kid sister (who certainly knows our family history).  We're talking at least 10 feet of family pictures. There is only one of me. There is a black-and-white studio portrait of my molester.

My mother is so very proud of this wall and wanted me to see it.

She's not mean, she's not trying to make me feel bad. She loves me as much as she is able.

She just completely doesn't get me.

This leaves me so sad.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Imaginary Meme, Part Two

21. Have you felt that life is like being on a roller coaster? Yes. But no more than anyone else's.

22. Favorite year so far? When I was 35, it was a very good year. (I feel like I'm channeling Sinatra.)

23. Do you consider yourself religious? Yes. I believe in God and He guides me.

24. How do you dress to impress? No. I dress to fit in, not stand out.

25. Have you ever been to Connecticut? No. But it seems like a perfectly lovely place. I recently entered a pair of sweepstakes to win dinner with the President and either Sarah Jessica Parker or Bill Clinton, both in New York. My best friend teased me that I did it more for the free trip to NYC than to support Barack Obama, and there may be something to that. I find that, next to Chicago, I feel most comfortable in the east/mid-Atlantic states than I do on the west coast.

26. Do you eat sushi? Only to be polite.

27. Would you smoke pot providing there was no risk or driving involved? No. I have never smoked anything and don't intend to now. I prefer to get high in ways that don't leave my hair and clothes smelling bad.

28. What do you think of Idol Winner Phillip Phillips?? He seems very original. I didn't watch closely this season, but Jessica Sanchez seemed very much in the Jordin Sparks mode, so I thought she'd win. But Phillips doesn't remind me of anyone else. I'm impressed that America chose him. (Since we're talking Idol: is it me or has Ryan Seacrest's hair gotten taller and weirder in front? When I saw him in profile during the last performance show, I thought he looked like a cartoon character.)

29. Do you believe that animals have souls? Yes.

30. Who did you last talk to? Share, if you dare. Kathy. (See below.)

31. What is one thing that always annoys you? My hair and clothes smelling like cigarettes or pot.

32. Do you believe in a higher being? Didn't I answer this in #23?

33. Have you ever fallen in love with a neighbor? At the beginning of the first grade school year, in between my fleeting crush on "Little Joe" Cartwright (aka Michael Landon) and falling hard for Beatle Paul, I was swept away by our neighbors' adult son. He moved in with his parents for a few glorious weeks before his wedding to some teased-hair wench named Sandy. He was very glamorous, with his shiny black hair and short sleeved shirts even in chilly autumn weather, and he led me on by letting me help him wash his car (which was an honor). It was heartbreaking when he actually went through with the wedding, and then he and the wench moved away. Love hurts, people!

34. Any plans for this weekend? I really, really have to figure out if I need any new clothes this summer. I know going through closets isn't exciting, but it needs to be done.

35. Would you like to rule your country, if you could? I already do. Galtopia. It's struggling. I'm not a very attentive despot.

36. Do you like watching films about the nature of animals? No. I don't like the tension. It seem some poor animal is always at risk of being chomped in half by a crocodile.

37. What's the difference between lust and/or lust? I suspect this question lost something in translation. But that's OK. I like lust.

38. Do you have a soul? I answered in #29 that animals have souls. I am a mammal. Ipso facto. (I don't get to use Latin anywhere near often enough in memes!)

39. One best friend or many good friends? Yes. I mean, I have both.

40. Do you believe in spontaneous combustion? Only for drummers.

 

Well, that's done

I did something Saturday morning I didn't really want to do: I had breakfast with Kathy.

I don't forgive this old friend for what she did to me in February. Nor for all the other things she has done to me over 30 years. She has worn me out and left me bone-weary. I work very hard at being a good friend, which makes the way she has treated me hurt even more. I'm no longer willing to do put up with it.

BUT I'm not angry anymore. I don't want revenge. I don't want to hurt her. I just want all this to end.

So when she started reaching out to me in earnest, I began wrestling with the best way to handle it. First she offered to drive me to the hospital to visit my mom last month. Kathy now lives 30 miles away, so the gesture was a big one for her. But I politely refused because my feelings about my mom's hospitalization were raw and powerful and I just didn't need that "Kathy overlay."

Then she got me the book, The President's Club. Simply because she knew I'd enjoy it.

She was right, I do want to read it. But the book is more than $30. Kathy is, literally, homeless -- she lives with her daughter's family. She works two part-time jobs. She can't afford $30, and driving 60 miles roundtrip when gas is $4/gallon. So I know this meant something to her.

At first, when she asked me if I'd meet her and John at what was once our favorite watering hole, I nixed that. But then, when she started mentioning breakfast, I found it harder and harder to refuse without just coming out and saying, "I don't want anything to do with you."

So today we finally went. She hugged me a lot. Wrote a nice inscription in the book. Was very gracious about the fact that she invited me to Sunday and I accepted for Saturday. Even paid the bill. It felt like a date.

And I felt bad for her because this relationship is so over. But there's nothing to be gained by rebuffing her. By telling her to go fuck herself. She knows what she did was hideous. She already feels bad. Why make her feel worse?

She's 65 years old. She lives with newly-divorced, 40+ daughter and three teenaged grandchildren and there's enough tension and electricity in that household to light Michigan Avenue at night. She has no money for retirement and just refinanced the car that she's going to drive into the ground. She's stuck out in a suburb that's 30 miles away from the people she naturally gravitates to (meaning me and John).

So I let her hug me and pay for my spinach omelet. (I suspected she might try that grabbing the check thing, so I didn't even have juice.) I accepted the book and told her why I was excited to read it. I told her about my cats. I complained about how we're all moving to cubicles at work. It was the kind of conversation you have with a stranger on a plane.

It didn't feel like I was taking advantage of her generosity. It felt like I was being decent.

Now I'd really like this to be over.