That was fun

Had a terrific time at Toys R Us. Cesar, honey, you are set!

I discovered Hot Wheels Truckin' Transporters … Trucks that can carry Hot Wheels cars from hither to yon. I got him three of the trucks and five individual cars. I also got him a race car tin filled with crunchy chocolates and a set of 8 little green army men. $28, including tax. That's close enough to the $25 limit.

I also got some sort of Buzz Lightyear vehicle to leave in the Toys for Tots bin on the way out.

Now I've got to put together my box of toys for Hephzibah Home, the children's organization right here in my home town. They provide affordable day care, family counseling, and a home for traumatized and abandoned children.

I heartily encourage you to join in the fun:

www.hephzibahhome.org
www.toysfortots.org


If you don't have time to shop this busy holiday season, feel free to send a check. Not as much fun as a trip to Toys R Us, but still important.

Merry Christmas, Dear Cesar

I requested a Santa letter from the Chicago Sun-Times. Through this program, a child who lives below the poverty line writes to Santa, the letter goes from his teacher to the Sun-Times to someone like me.

I'm a sucker for programs like this, and toy drives, and Toys for Tots because I'm in advertising. While I currently don't have a client who sells toys, I still need to do penance. After all, I'm still in an industry that equates Christmas with visions of Bratz and Legos and Gameboys and iPods. What happens to the children whose families can't afford the cool new stuff? Do they feel less loved? Do they wonder why Santa gives good gifts to everyone but them?

What happens to kids like Cesar?

I'm holding his letter, rereading it for the 100th time. The program imposes a limit of $25 per child, so when the gifts are distributed at the school Christmas party, there won't be a great disparity among the value of the presents. Fair enough. Apparently not asking for anything that costs too much was really drilled into this little guy. According to his request, decorated with candy canes and a Christmas tree, his favorites are little green soldiers (though he likes other colors, too) and Hot Wheels cars. "Hot Wheels maybe they cost $2. But I like my little soldiers and they cost less than $1."

His teacher included a note, explaining that Cesar is in 4th grade. His parents work hard, and they insist Cesar work hard, too. He gets good grades and has an exceptional attendance record.

Oh, Cesar! I don't mind spending $25 on you! I think it's enormously moving that you rein in your dreams rather than be greedy or disobedient. I wish there was someway to contact you, to find out what you really want, even if money was no object. You'll get your soldiers, Cesar, and your Hot Wheels, too. And maybe a nice warm Chicago Bears cap. (Every Chicago kid loves those 8-1 Bears.) I want you to believe the magic of Christmas after you open my gift, Cesar. I'm going to work on it. You're going to love this present.

I love my doctors

I know a lot of people who have horror stories about their doctors. I'm not one of those people.

I have been battling perimenopausal depression. It lasts a few days at a time. When the feelings of worthlessness pass (and they do and they will), I am left with the dread that it will return (and it will).

My shrink, a PhD, has explained the difference between situational depression (which I've battled since junior high) and biochemical depression (which is new and completely awful). She doesn't minimize the pain I'm in, even as she promises me it will pass. Instead she encouraged me to call my GP and ask for antidepressants.

This made me a little uncomfortable. Not because I'm against better living through chemistry. But because I don't want to be medicated incorrectly. While I like my doctor very much, I only see her two or three times a year. I don't want her just cutting me a script for something this serious without really knowing what's going on.

So I asked my shrink if she would consult with my GP. She said, "Of course. We won't let you suffer." Music to my ears.

I contacted my GP and she told me she was going to give me (free) samples of Lexapro, chosen because unlike Zoloft, weight gain is not a major side effect. She assured me that she believes this is a short-term, hormonally-driven problem. But, just to be sure, she agreed to call my shrink.

I felt so much better late Thursday when my shrink called me back and told me my two doctors had conferred and that all three of us agree this is the best path for me.

I am so glad that these women treated me with such sensitivity and respect. And I'm sorry that all women don't have access to the care I have.

Baghdad vs. New Orleans

The pundits keep saying that the election results were a referendum on the Administration's Iraq policy, that the electorate is angry about how the war has been conducted.

OK.

But what about Katrina? Please tell me we haven't forgotten. These are our fellow Americans. Please tell me we know that this simply cannot be allowed to happen again.

My favorite headline

"PRESIDENT BUSH VISITS VIETNAM FOR THE FIRST TIME"

It's about frigging time. Why didn't you bring Cheyney with you? It would be nice if he finally saw Vietnam, too. The President asked for "cooperation" in finding out about more then 1,000 POWs still missing from the Vietnam War. Why isn't he embarrassed, ashamed to ask about those who fought and probably died in his place?

I respect all the soldiers who went. The ones like Senator Kerry and my uncle, who served their country in the jungles but wonder what it was for. The ones who still insist it was worth it. I respect those who fought against the war at home, like Bill Clinton. The ones I don't get are the Bushes and Cheyneys, who supported the Vietnam War ... for someone else to fight and die in.

I want Elliott and Liv!

I'm watching a Law & Order: SVU rerun. Elliott and Olivia are sitting outside on a curb, sharing their thoughts, partner to partner, the way they never could with anyone else.

This is why I like the reruns better than the first runs. I love the interaction between these two.

I hope that as the season wears on, Olivia and Elliott will be reunited on the new shows. I know that when she was undercover as Persephone, in the hospital and drifting in and out of consciousness, it was Elliott she called out for. We know they're in love, even if they don't, and I love it.

Not real? What do you mean, they're just TV characters? NO!

And they tell me how to live

Fox, the media conglomerate that pays Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity and all the other arbiters of morality when it comes to reproductive rights, the sanctity of marriage, etc., is airing a two part interview with OJ Simpson.

Here are Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. Look at these two faces. These two people were deprived of a future by OJ Simpson.

Keep these faces in mind next time you hear Hannity and O'Reilly go on and on about morals, right and wrong and Christian values.

But this is today's BIG news

Yes, I know. I've heard. McCain was posturing on the Hill today, grilling General Abizaid. OJ is going to tell us all how he did it, If He Did It. Murtha and Hoyer are working hard to discredit one another. Bobby Knight smacked another kid. A soldier plead guilty to raping and murdering an Iraqi child. I'm still more interested in THE news story that eclipses the rest.

Clooney knocks out Dempsey to be named 2006 Sexiest Man Alive!

I simply cannot wait till the new issue of People arrives. I admit it. I love these men. This is my equivalent of the SI Swimsuit issue.

So, hello, Gorgeous!

Oh, look who is on The Daily Show. He is a charmer. And while John Edwards does a cursory plug for his book and answers questions about Iraq, you can tell his message is populism. He wants to talk about ending the violence in Uganda and raising the minimum wage here.

He most definitely does not want to talk about Senator Kerry, which made me a little squirmy.

He also looked just soooo yummy, which made me a little squirmy, but in a different way. But it seems so wrong to be this hot for a potential President. Next you know it, I'll be longing to date a priest.

Saving me from myself

I keep getting a "system too busy" message from Pogo! That gives me nothing to do but throw out some of the paper that's littering my floor. (Yes, my floor. Both the coffee table and dining room table are already filled with magazines, catalogs, bills, credit card statements and charity solicitations.)

Plastic shopping bags are a problem, too. I even have bags of bags. I keep meaning to take them to Jewel-Osco to recycle because just throwing them out seems wasteful, but …

A contractor is coming by Saturday morning to give me an estimate for replacing my windows. I wonder if how this place will look to him if I don't shovel some of this shit out of here … and whether it will have an impact on the estimate.

Question: Can I put these sheets of self-adhesive return address labels in with my recyclables?

Sad but true

Actually overheard while waiting in line for Borat:

"I wanna see Bobby. Lindsay Lohan is in it."

I look at that poster, see the words, "He saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it," and mist up. She walks by and sees Lindsay Lohan's credit. I can only shake my head.

Oh, well ... I haven't seen the movie yet, but I suppose it's possible that she'll go to see Lindsay Lohan, but will leave the theater with an awakened sense of populism.

Really. I either have to think that, or cry.

I wanted to love it ...

… but, alas, I only liked Borat.

I think that even at only 84 minutes, it's a little long. The segment where our hero ruins the antique store ran on a bit, and it seemed like every piece after that could have been edited some.

Which is not to say I didn't enjoy it. I did. And I certainly appreciated much of what Mr. Cohen was trying to say. It's just that I'd heard this was the funniest movie ever. And I believe I laughed longer and harder at Animal House.

So hi, Mr. Sagdiyev, I'm Eric Stratton and I'm damn glad to meet you. While I hope that your cultural learnings of America will make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan, I'm afraid you're no Bluto Blutarsky.

The dirty little secret behind the Senator's joke

Senator Kerry botched what would have been an unfunny joke. That's one thing that happened just before the election.

The other thing that happened is that he accidentally spoke an ugly truth, one that no one wishes to confront, and that's part of why the story wouldn't die.

It is the poor and lower middle class who are fighting in Iraq.

A friend of mine lives in Deerfield, IL. "The Community that Lives and Works Together." Home of Walgreens. A cheap home in Deerfield is $200,000. The most expensive one listed on Realtor.com is $9,990,000 (6 BR, 9 BA). It is historically very Republican and many of her friends are staunch supporters of the war. As the mother of two sons, she asked her neighbors how they, as parents, could be so enthusiastic, could not have second thoughts, about a venture that is turning into a meat grinder for our young. The response? "90% of the kids in this district go on to college."

How reprehensible is that? And how different is it from what Senator Kerry said (but didn't mean, about doing well in school so you don't "get stuck in Iraq?"

As a girl I was so marked by the Viet Nam conflict it's practically a tattoo on my soul, so I can't believe I'm saying this ... but maybe we need a draft. Maybe then people would look at war differently, if it was possible that their precious little Caleb or Jason or even Brittany would have to go, fight and die.

Lonely for words unspoken

I know my best friend trusts me and thinks I'm funny. I also know that he admires my prodigious moral compass, which most people think makes me a pain in the ass. (The evening we went shopping for his mother's birthday present was memorable; I believe after hearing the phrase "blood diamonds" about a thousand times, he ended up giving her pearls.) I know he feels this way because he drunk dialed me. Actually, he drunk dialed my voicemail, which is safer (and even more gutless).

He is far more comfortable, though, ribbing me. Teasing me. If my hair was longer, he would pull my ponytail. I like to think this is his way of sublimating sexual tension. But then, I like to think that Martin Sheen is President.

My best friend makes thoughtful little gestures. He sends me song downloads and magazine articles he thinks I'd appreciate. Most recently he purchased a lovely little tome about farting called "Pee-Ew, Is that You, Bertie?" for my six year old nephew, who loved every page. My birthday is next week, and I know he will remember it with a gift that is just as appropriate.

I need to hear him say it, though. I want him to tell me, sober, that I matter to him, that I am special to him. Sometimes I want to hear it so badly that I ache.

The sign does apply to you, too

One of my neighbors smokes … constantly. I can always tell where she just was because it reeks of smoke. She's very nice, very chatty, and very smelly.

This afternoon we are sharing the laundry room. Where there is a "no smoking" sign posted. Where my clean clothes are going to come out of the machine smelling powder fresh. So her smoking can contaminate them.

I hate doing laundry. It leaves me in a bad mood to begin with, so my judgment might be a little cloudy. That's why I'm going to hold my tongue for the sake of my reputation as a good neighbor. But I am not happy.

Hey! Bonus!

Tuesday's election is having unexpected but positive aftershocks here in the Chicagoland area. Congressmen Luis Guitierez and Jesse Jackson, Jr., have both decided not to challenge Richard M. Daley for the Democratic nomination for mayor. Washington DC is suddenly a far more attractive place for ambitious young Democrats, now that the House of Representatives is decidedly blue.

I spend at least half my life in the Loop, I have for decades, and have come to love Richard M. as much as I loathed Richard J. The City is, for the most part, cleaner and safer than ever. Architecture and culture are flourishing under this plain spoken, red faced mayor. Business isn't just concentrated in a few neighborhoods anymore. The projects have made way for scattered site housing.

Most important, there is no one, NO ONE, I want at the helm more than King Richard II. Not after 9/11. Not after Katrina. I trust Richard M. Daley with my life. And make no mistake about it, when you're in a major American city, you are trusting your life to the mayor.

The Federal government is currently conducting "The War on Terror" overseas. That means there is precious little money or oversight left for locals. I was downtown on 9/11, in Illinois Center, in the shadow of both the AON building and Sears Tower, and experienced first hand the solemnity and speed with which the City was emptied. Today, when there are rumors of terrorism, it's the Chicago Police with dogs at the el stops, Chicago Police boats patrolling the river, not the National Guard. If there was a natural disaster here in Chicago, it would be Richard Daley, not FEMA, looking out for us. And I'm 100% fine with that. Mayor Daley offered New Orleans the use of CTA buses before Katrina hit. He was refused. He understood, better than Nagin or FEMA, what it would take to evacuate a city filled with people who don't have cars.

Ok, Ok. Yes, I know. There are city payrollers who have never shown up for work and still enjoy direct deposit. Some people are in jobs that aren't qualified for because their uncle was an alderman. I realize all this. I'm not stupid.

But as long as the image of those planes hitting the Twin Towers is seared into my soul, as long as I remember the horrified faces of the displaced in the Super Dome, I'm more than willing to put up with Cook County shenanigans. Because whatever else you want to say about Daley (and I've lived here all my life so I believe I've heard it all), he loves this city. While I admit corruption has undoubtedly gone on during his tenure, he hasn't personally/financially benefited from it, and that's important to me. And he's tough and smart and quick to act, and act accordingly. The world is too perilous a place to let someone learn on the job. We need The Mayor.

Long live King Richard II!

PS I have included this photo because I think he would like it. I still hate, loathe, despise and abominate the White Sox with every fiber of my being.

She really was that good

I'm watching The Wizard of Oz. Again. And this time I am amazed by how perfect Judy was. I know … duh! But tonight I am keenly aware that this dreamy, brave and utterly sincere little girl is being played by a teenager. Teens are by their very nature cynical, sarcastic, and just plain smart-assy. There is none of that in her purely lovely performance. Dorothy is talking to a scarecrow and a tin woodsman about finding a wizard. (We have yet to meet The Lion.) She is not at all self conscious and completely credible. I wonder how, especially with her tumultuous personal life, Garland was able to do it.

Hello, I'm Old

According to the E! THS (on now), Kevin Federline has long had an incredible impact on women. The girls in his high school were in love with him, when he got to LA and was juggling a car wash job and dance gigs, Christina Aguilara had a crush on him, a working actress (Shar Jackson) willingly had babies with him, and then Britney.

EW! ICK! Look at this guy! Tattoos, cigarette breath, greasy hair, dopey hats … I so completely don't see it. And I guess I shouldn't. It's a new generation.

Showing the kids how it's done

Saw a story on one of the magazine shows about how Sir Paul McCartney handled the paparazzi this week. I believe he was in Washington, DC. He got into his car and pulled away, and to his dismay the photogs followed him. He stopped, got out of his car, smiled and waved merrily, looking as though he didn't have a care in the world. The audio revealed something else. No matter how cheery he looked, he sounded like an angry school principal. "OK," he said (more or less) to the paparazzi, "I got out of my car. You are getting your pictures. I am being nice to you. Now there's no need to follow me. There's no need to harass me." Then he got into his car and pulled away ... alone.

Better than leading them on a high speed chase or trying to swat them away. Clearly, the man who has been famous more than half his life knows how to handle the press.

Enjoying a rainy Friday night

It's cold and rainy and windy out there. Just walking home from the train I got completely soaked. Now I'm warm and I'm dry and I'm looking forward to ... a quiet, comfortable night by myself. First I'll soak in the tub for a while, slathering on a nice thick facial mask while listening to Streisand. Then I'll curl up in front of the TV. I want to watch a good old Hollywood movie, preferably in black and white. Maybe enjoy some green tea. I like nights like this. I need nights like this.

One of my more enduring heroes

How can you not love old Julius? I first became acquainted with Groucho when I was in high school. Fortunately he was still alive in those days, so in addition to all the Marx Bros. movies, I was able to see him interviewed on a couple Dick Cavett shows. He was witty and verbal and lascivious and a complete anarchist. I saw so much Grouch in Alan Alda's portrayal of Hawkeye Pierce.

Enjoy these Marxisms:

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

We took pictures of the native girls but they weren't developed. We're going back again in a couple weeks.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Madam, I've known and respected your husband for many years. And if you're good enough for him, you're good enough for me.

A fool and his money are soon parted. But nobody can part a cheap toupee.

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

Is it true that your getting a divorce as soon as your husband regains his sight?

Remember when you're out there risking life and limb against shot and shell, we'll be in here thinking what a sucker you are.

Halp us Mr. Rumzfield. In Amerika we R stoopid.

As he left his position as Secretary of Defense, Rumsfeld reminded the nation one more time about "this little understood, unfamiliar war, the first war of the 21st century -- it is not well known, it was not well understood." It is, he said, "complex for people to comprehend."

Yes, Rummy stood there with the President, with the flag as a backdrop, and called us all dumb.

This does not offend me. This is Rumsfeld. In fact, I find his overbearing arrogance even as he's losing his job almost valiant. Whatever else he was, Rumsfeld was always true to himself.

What does offend me is the way the press handled this.

Senator Kerry botched a joke and ended up saying something about the troops being uneducated -- something no thinking person believed he meant. Yet it was reported, replayed and generally beaten into the ground for several news cycles.

Rumsfeld calls all of us stupid (and clearly means it) during his last briefing and no one says a word.

So much for the press and its liberal bias.

The autumn of my discontent

I'm suffering from that free floating, completely non-specific malaise again. Nothing is really wrong. It's just that nothing is really right.

Sometimes I feel rather spoiled at times like this. Bratty. There are people in the world with visceral, insurmountable problems. And here I am, wallowing in the blues. As Holly Golightly put it, "The blues are because you're getting fat or because it's been raining too long. You're just sad, that's all."

Maybe it's post-election depression … or that I haven't been working out … or because my career isn't traveling down the path I expected … or that the weather is unseasonably warm and I can't believe I went Christmas shopping in a short-sleeve sweater and no coat. Just, please God, don't let it be hormones!

Farewell, Rummy

Donald Rumsfeld is really easy to demonize because he's such a stereotypical rich old white guy. He knows better than you, Missy, about this war and about the armed services and about the world. Everything in his fabulously condescending manner says, "How dare you question me?"

But he was Secretary of Defense, not our national den mother. And he was only Secretary of Defense. George W. Bush was ultimately responsible for every decision Rumsfeld made.

That made his conduct today, as he stood there beside the man he served so loyally while being unceremoniously canned, very touching. Rumsfeld is a tough old bird, stoic and classy to the end.

I know, I know. As a liberal Democrat I'm supposed to hate the old guy. And I am happy to see him go. But I will always view him with grudging admiration. On 9/11, he very bravely ran toward the the Pentagon crash site. (You can actually see the smoke from the fire in this photo.) The old fella willing walked into danger when he didn't have to in an attempt to help save lives. So even though I disagree with every aspect of how he's handled the war, I still say, "Thank you for your service, Mr. Secretary."

The politics of faith

One of the reasons I'm happy about yesterday's nationwide election results is that now, perhaps, government will go back to being more secular.

I am a Christian, and my faith infuses my beliefs and how I vote. However my Christianity does not jibe with what the Religious Right tells me my values "should" be, and I find that insulting and disturbing.

For example, stemcell research. I am for taking fertilized embryos that would otherwise be destroyed and using them to find cures for catastrophic diseases. This is completely in keeping with my faith, and with conversations I have had with clergy. I am not convinced that IVF is God's will (which is not to say I think it should be illegal or curtailed; as with abortion, I think every woman should have reproductive choice so she can follow her own conscience and her own faith). Therefore I celebrate that these embryos can be used in such a positive way.

Then there's the death penalty. I am simply against it. Regardless of the crime. In this world of plea bargains, it is not fairly assigned. It is an unfair burden to put on a juror. Taking a life does not bring back the one that was lost. As a citizen and as a Christian, I am against it. And yet the Bush Brothers, as governors of Texas and Florida, have signed many a death warrant and seem to feel that squares with their Christianity. But you see, that's my point: THEIR Christianity. Not mine.

One of Chicago's most famous crimes, the Leopold and Loeb thrill killing in the 1920s, ends with what is, for me, a wonderful example of Christian redemption. After serving decades in prison, Leopold was paroled and spent his middle and late years working with missionaries in Puerto Rico. I think that's beautiful. These dedicated Catholics accepted and forgave this Jewish murderer and let him spend his last years in the service of the Lord. This is a far better reflection of MY Christianity.

Gay rights. One of the dearest, most committed couples I know is gay. They love one another, have been together for decades, and now take tender care of one partner's 93 year old mother (and she can be quite a handful). Yet there are those who will say with absolute certainty this love is wrong. Well, my faith tells me otherwise.

And what about Muslims or Jews or agnostics or atheists. Shouldn't their government reflect their values? As Lincoln said, "of the people, by the people, for the people."

So hopefully now one group will no longer govern as though they have a hotline to Jesus. Perhaps now we will be able to search our own souls in privacy and reach our own decisions. And government will serve us and reflect us, rather than preach to us. My spiritual house is in order. I don't appreciate Washington white guys telling me how I should feel, and how I should relate to my Lord.

Today's best headline …

K-FED UP!

That's courtesy the folks at Eonline. Apparently Britney Spears and her staggeringly fertile husband just can't make a go of it.

Yes, I would say that was a "bad day"

At first the death of actress Adrienne Shelley was thought to be a suicide. But a construction worker has admitted killing her and then trying to make it appear as though she took her life.

Reports attribute the following quote to a 19 year old, illegal immigrant, "I was having a bad day. I didn't mean to kill her. But I did kill her."

According to a New York paper, Ms. Shelley complained to the construction worker about the noise he was making as he worked in the empty apartment below hers. He speaks no English, so their exchange was marked by confusion, frustration and escalating anger on both sides. He says she slapped his face, and so he punched hers, leaving her unconscious.

Believing she was dead, he dragged her upstairs and hung her from the shower rod in her bathroom. He assumed her death would be ruled a suicide and the police would not look for a murderer. Her body was found by her exhusband hours later.

Ms. Shelley was just 40 years old and the mother of a 3 year old girl.

This young man, an Ecuadoran immigrant in this country illegally, is looking at a charge of second degree murder. Even if he is found "not guilty," his life will never be the same.

What a tragic, ridiculous waste.

Another word on Adsense

This post is devoted to that little square in the upper right. The good people at Google claim that these ads are somehow tied to the content of my blog. This way, if you were interested in something I have written recently, you will naturally click on the ad. (And I, in turn, will make tons of money. Right now I believe my Adsense fortune hovers between $1 and $2.)

This seems like a mutually advantageous plan. I get a free counter and guaranteed revenue (I believe I will use my earnings in the laundry machines downstairs -- 75¢ per wash or dry).

But where the system falls apart for me is in the choice of ads. Last time I checked, my Adsense square was promoting pepper spray. I honestly cannot recall ever mentioning pepper spray or self defense in any way.

In praise of my TV Boyfriends

There's always been a character on a TV show that I really wanted to be real. Because he was so neat, because he was so likable, because I knew my life would be better with him in it. That makes these guys slightly different from crushes. I didn't necessarily fantasize about being in love with these characters. I'd be happy just to know them.

The first one, which I really don't remember but my mother reports was very serious, was Little Joe Cartwright. Bonanza was one of the first shows we saw in color, and apparently I used to cry whenever Little Joe was punched or shot.

Then there was Jeremy Bolt from Here Come the Brides. He was the youngest brother, a sensitive lad in an untamed country, and all he wanted was to get married and start a family. Oh, and he had blue eyes and a stutter. When I was in junior high, this was as good as it got.

Dr. Benjamin Franklin Pierce. Hawkeye from M*A*S*H. Gifted, verbal, and allergic to hypocrisy. He took all the right things seriously and mocked the rest.

David Addison. See above. Except whereas Hawkeye was an exceptional surgeon, this Moonlighting detective really wasn't that good at detecting. This flaw made him more likeable, more dear.

Will Truman of Will & Grace. Oh, I wish he was real! Smart, supportive and oh-so funny. And bonus! He could dress me!

Dr. McDreamy from Grey's Anatomy. Ok, so I want to do him. It's lust, pure and simple. You got me on this one.

Behold the Epitome of Class

My oldest friend is in the grips of Fanilow Fever. As she approaches her 50th birthday, her obsession with Barry Manilow keeps growing and growing. As her friend, I try to listen without screaming as she tells me about what a wonderful showman he is, what a terrific performer he is, the good works his Foundation (which, I suspect, is aka "tax write-off") does, how much he loves his fans, etc.

What makes this bearable is that she's going through a rough patch. As if menopause and turning 50 aren't enough, her exhusband is engaged with a wedding date set, while my friend is involved with a nice man but one she believes wouldn't notice if she was dead for three days, her grade school aged daughter has attention deficit disorder, her high school aged son is dealing with a car and a job and plummeting grades, she has money problems and no real plan for getting out of them ... If she takes refuge in sappy music made by a completely non-threatening man who reminds her of a simpler time, then what the hell. The fever will break and she'll be fine again. And it's not like I haven't put her through some changes since we became friends in 1964. Previous entries to this very blog reveal that I can travel to some pretty dark places, too, and she's there for me.

But it's the other fanilows that I've been exposed to who make my teeth hurt because they indulge in reality only infrequently. They actually think he's the greatest artist ever. No, really. They think that his cover versions of ballads are better than the originals, by such lightweights as Sinatra, Elvis and the Beatles.

They also insist Stephen Colbert hasn't been making fun of their hero since the Emmys. They don't understand Colbert and the right wing commentators he's parodying because they don't feel entertainers should use their "God given talent to foist their political beliefs on us," so they aren't regular viewers. My friend isn't, either. I keep trying to tell her she doesn't want to watch Manilow's appearance on the Colbert Report, even if she can get a tape. She tells me I must be wrong, that all the Fanilows believe he was funny and held his own. Okeedokee.

These same Fanilows maintain that Barry Manilow is "the epitome of class." Why would I question their judgement? Not only does he perform old Bobby Vinton songs while wearing a velour (or is it velvet) jacket, his website is also the Tiffany's of memorabilia. In addition to the bobblehead shown, there are Manilow nightshirts and jockey shorts. No, really. And this stuff is pretty pricey, considering it's akin to what you would expect to pick up at the Wisconsin Dells.

To help you with your Christmas shopping: http://www.starz.bz/barrymanilow/index.cfm

I saw a film today, oh boy

Went to the movies today for the first time in ages and saw The Queen. Dame Helen Mirren was sublime. Between her performance and the script, you go from head-shaking disdain to empathy for this woman, Elizabeth, who is stuck with a formidable job to do … a job she never wanted.

I found myself just waiting for the moments when the real news footage of Diana appeared. She certainly knew how to command our attention! And the actor who played Tony Blair (Michael Sheen) was wonderful, too. I'm sorry that the real deal -- the actual Prime Minister -- has fallen out of favor in large part because he supported the United States' foreign policy.

I wish I had a smooth transition for this, but I don't. Peter O'Toole has a new movie coming out (Venus) and the trailer refers to him as "the best actor of his generation." No offense to Mr. O'Toole, but I believe that right about now, he's the ONLY actor of his generation. Richard Burton/dead. Richard Harris/dead. I mean, who else is left? OK, Albert Finney.

Orlando vs. Kit ... guess who wins

Last night we celebrated my niece's 14th birthday. That girl has always been my heart. But, no doubt about it, she's growing up. I'm proud of who she is becoming, but I miss who she was.

Whereas once she loved all things American Girl, especially Kit, now she loves all things Orlando Bloom. Crayons and dress up outfits have been replaced by CDs and DVDs. While she hasn't begun worrying about her skin yet, she did add a lot of haircare product to her birthday wish list.

Some things remain the same though. As Birthday Girl, she chose the restaurant where we dined. It was Old Country Buffet. She prepared for the ice cream and cake awaiting her at home with pie ala mode.

A proud moment for all of us

I am so proud to be an American and part of the world community. Saddam Hussein stood trial in televised proceedings and was found guilty. That ugly chapter of Iraqi and world history is now behind us, thanks not to assassination but to the rule of law.

Naturally as a Christian I cannot be joyful about the phrase, "death by hanging." (Especially not on a Sunday!) But this morning I choose to concentrate on the positive aspects. Genocide was punished. Justice was served. And it was all done with civility.

Make that SIXTEEN Gold Gloves

Guess who won the award that means he's the best fielding pitcher in the league. Why, Greg Maddux, of course. This year's is even sweeter because (don't think I enjoy saying this) he played more than half the season with a less than stellar (OK, crappy) Cub team.

Maddux's agent and the Dodgers' GM meet next week. I hope they can come to an agreement on a nice little two-year contract, and I hope they do it fast. I'll feel better when my favorite future Hall of Famer has a roster spot somewhere.

"So up on your feet! Somewhere there's music playing."

Barbara mooning over Cliff ... Bob obsessed with both Barbara and his tuba ... flat-chested Julie complaining about her archrival, Trish the Dish ... Ann making sure everyone at her office calls her "Ms. Romano" ...

Yes, I've discovered the One Day at a Time reruns on OnDemand. I don't know why, but I loved this show.

It's not particularly well written, nor well acted. Everyone yells. But I love revisiting the 1970s hair and fashion. And I seem to recall watching it while I was babysitting and fantasizing about an apartment like theirs, all those little nooks and crannies.