We interrupt this blog for a special message

Just your average 58-year-old/father of three teenagers/future of rock and roll vacationing in Italy. It's so nice to have an objet d'lust that doesn't make me feel like Mary Kay LeTourneau. Thanks to Cupcake for finding this for us. And thanks to the Good Lord for imbuing me with the creativity to wonder which I'd remove first: the trunks or the clunky necklace thing.

Today I'm a very Mary gal

Usually when I reflect on the Mary/Rhoda dynamic, I consider myself Rhoda. Overweight but underloved, messy, a guy's best bud and a girl's best friend. Oh yeah, and I'm funny.

Yet at this critical juncture, I'm feeling very … Mary.

Specifically I'm thinking of the episode where Mary breaks down and cries about having "cute" and easy-to-dismiss problems. Like when she feels awful but is told she's lucky it's "just a cold." Or that people are amused that her weight problems are about not being able to keep weight on, etc. Like her pain, her worries, just aren't as valid as everyone else's.

Right now, that's how I feel. I am reasonably happy these days. That's a good thing, isn't it? Of course there are dark clouds on my horizon. (Doesn't everyone have problems on the horizon? Isn't that just part of being an adult?)

I feel, though, that I am being penalized by one of my friends for not being more dramatic, not being stranded in more dire straits. Since April, she has regularly asked how I am, I have answered, and she has either not listened or not retained what's going on with me. For example, the fact that my old boss almost frigging died escaped her. I shot her a nervous email about our all-agency meeting regarding the rumors in the local paper, rumors that have an impact on my job security, and she never asked me what happened. The thing of it is, compared to her bigger and very real problems, the things that trouble me just aren't interesting.

Fine. She's suffering, she's overwhelmed, and simply doesn't have time for me. Completely understandable. But then don't ask how I am. It's insulting to bare my soul to someone, and realize they simply aren't listening.

And it hurts. Do you suppose that's why Mary Richards cried at the drop of a hat?

But I find him a little disturbing

This is Benjamin Bankes, the pig from Feed The Pig. This public service initiative from the Ad Council and the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants has a positive message for all of us: "Money shouldn't drive your life. But neither should debt. It's time to take control." It's got tips and calculators designed to make saving for the future seem a little easier. All good, right?

Except Benjamin himself kinda weirds me out. Maybe it's his fleshy pig ears. Or the monochromatic thing he has going with his skin and suit (and, in this shot, even the wallpaper). Whatever the reason, I find this pig (shiver) a little disturbing.

This belongs in JAMA

I have stumbled upon an amazing medical breakthrough:

When the Cubs don't score runs, I'm weak, nauseous and have no appetite.

When the Cubs do score runs, I give in to an overpowering craving for cheesy Goldfish.

Watching the Cub game, thinking about the divine

Carlos Zambrano is pitching tonight. As he leaves the mound, he often removes his cap and points heavenward, thanking his Lord for the help he believes he received. This makes me very uncomfortable.

As a Christian, I most likely pray to the same Lord as Carlos. I believe that Christ strengthens me, enabling me to accomplish what goes well and prevail over what doesn't. My faith is simple: "Jesus loves me. This I know, for the Bible tells me so." I strive to be the woman He expects me to be, and am comforted in knowing He loves me when I fall short.

But my relationship with Jesus is a private one, the most personal one I will ever have. I can't imagine making a display of my faith my praying in front of 41,000+. What goes on between Jesus and me is ours alone.

I do not doubt Carlos Zambrano's sincerity. And I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that he is very open about his faith because he's Carlos Zambrano -- I don't believe he knows how to be discreet.

I guess I just wish his displays didn't make me feel so … ooky.

It did my old heart good

Europeans waving American flags instead of burning them, cheering and chanting "Yes We Can" in accented English. Watching today's Obama speech in Berlin was thrilling. I was so happy to see my country viewed as a symbol of hope, as a world leader. Not as a torture state, nor a gas guzzling superpower with unfortunate cowboy impulses. Thousands upon thousands showed up to cheer and celebrate. (And yes, boo a little when Obama talked about Afghanistan, but I choose to accentuate the positive.) How could you not love this?

Yes, I have problems with Barack Obama. (FISA, anyone?) But as a United States citizen who loves her country, it was nice to see evidence the rest of the world is willing to love us again, too.

Thursday Thirteen #78 -- Less junkie junk food

THIRTEEN NOT-SO-BAD THINGS TO ORDER OUT

I am a junk food junkie. I like my food fast – if not immediately – and I hate to cook. I also unfortunately resemble a very round pigeon. There is a connection between the two, I know. That’s why I was so happy to come upon these 13 tips that will help me cut calories when I order out.

All these tips are courtesy of Eat This, Not That by David Zinczenko. It’s a quick read, it’s easy to follow, and sized to fit in your purse (if, like me, you favor enormous bags).

1) My favorite sandwich at Quizno’s, the small Chicken Carbonara, has approximately 755 calories. OUCH! Alas, that means it’s no longer my favorite Quizno’s sandwich. Instead, I am learning to love the Quizno’s small Honey Bourbon Chicken on wheat bread (310 calories).

2) A two-scoop chocolate and vanilla hot fudge sundae from Baskin-Robbins is 530 calories. Yes, I know it sounds like a lot, but some hot summer nights a gal just has to go for ice cream! And it’s better for you than the BR Strawberry Shake, which is 650 calories. Who knew?

3) The Cosi Tuna Melt looks, smells and tastes delicious, but it's also an amazing 1,012 calories. Hell, for that I could have TWO hot fudge sundaes! My second favorite Cosi selection is the Turkey and Brie Sandwich. It's 772 calories and the book's author discourages it. But hey, it's still more than 300 calories less than the melt!

4) Is there an Au Bon Pain nearby? A quick trip over there in the afternoon is infinitely better for you than a trip to the office vending machine. The Small Vanilla Yogurt and Blueberries and Granola will satisfy your sweet tooth and at 310 calories it’s a much better bet than a candy bar. Most full-sized bars come in at about 300 calories, too, but they aren’t loaded with calcium and ant-oxidants.

5) Do you stop at Dunkin’ Donuts for breakfast? Forget the Multigrain Bagel, even with Lite Cream Cheese. It’s 500 calories and loaded with fat. I was surprised to learn that Ham, Egg and Cheese Muffin Sandwich – which I had previously, incorrectly dismissed as fatty and greasy – is only 310 calories with 1/3 less fat.

6) A stop at Burger King for the Egg & Cheese Croissanwich is even better for your diet. It’s only 300 calories. If you prefer Mickey D’s (and I do), the Egg McMuffin is also 300 calories.

7) I know, I know. There are a million reasons not to eat at McDonald’s. But sometimes I just must, MUST have one of their burgers. A Quarter Pounder is just 410 calories. I know that sounds like a lot, but a Big Mac is 540 calories and a BK Whopper is 760. So in fast-food burger context, a QP isn’t so bad.

8) I love KFC Honey Barbecue. And it’s OK! The Honey Barbecue Snacker is just 210 calories. Hurray!

9) Not everything on the Jamba Juice menu is good for your diet. Fortunately, my favorite, the Berry Fulfilling smoothie, is just 260 calories, but the harmless-sounding Aloha Pineapple is 500 calories. So choose carefully.

10) My mom loves The Olive Garden. If you end up there with your mom, I recommend the Shrimp Primavera. First of all, it’s not bad. Secondly, it’s 706 calories. Within the Olive Garden universe, that’s also not bad at all. The Mixed Grill with Vegetables sounds like it would be better for your diet, but it’s 839 calories and has more than double the fat.

11) I don’t have to change my Taco Bell habit at all. Two Soft-Shell Tacos are just 340 calories. (Be careful, though; they’ll try to sell you the three taco meal because it’s a better deal.) However, if you love the Baja Beef Chalupa, you may wish to rethink your ordering choice. It’s 410 calories and double the fat.

12) My two favorite sides from Boston Market are at the two ends of the spectrum. The Green Bean Casserole is terrific and just 60 calories. The Squash Casserole is to die for, but it’s (shiver) 320 calories. I guess those marshmallows on top should have given me a clue …

13) Those Arby’s Market Fresh Sandwiches sure look like they’re better for you, don’t they? Well, looks are deceiving. A traditional Super Roast Beef Sandwich is 440 calories, while the Roast Beef and Swiss Market Fresh is 810 calories!

There are lots more tips in Eat This, Not That.
It could be very useful calorie companion as you grocery shop, too.

Include your link in comments and I'll add you here (unless your comment annoys me, in which case I'll simply delete it as fast as I can):
1) Nicholas shares 13 important firsts
2) Pretty Life Online lists (more than) 13 vitamins and their sources
3) Tinkerbell has devoted her TT to Luxemborg
4) Hootin' Ani reports on Hurricane Dolly
5) Claudia takes on pet names
6) Sandy tells a valuable story about things of value
7) Anthony examines frustration
8) Angelie takes us to her family reunion
9) Grandmother Wren celebrates Christmas in July
10) Lori's TT just might keep you the shivers
11) Adelle shares notable quotables
12) Picturing of Life looks back on July
13) Joyce shows us her best side
14) Elaine has 13 reasons why she wants a pug puppy
15) Pjazzypar has a movie TT (and I love movie TTs!)
16) B Boys Mom has an AMAZING, food-related TT
17) AtomiK Kitten thinks about life
18) Donna has had quite a year -- see for yourself!
19) Malcolm's TT is in glorious black and white
20) Jen plans a party
21) Chris lists 13 things that, um, should always remain where the sun does shine, if you know what I mean.

22) Lisa takes on the letter U.
23) Lori is conferencing in Boston
24) Rae shares her ambitious "to do" list

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

The boys in blue aren't hitting

My Cubs are in Arizona, where the games don't start until 8:05 (CST). The pitchers are doing just fine but the bats are SOOOOO COOOOOLD!

Last night, between the end of the game and dawn, I came down with a fierce attack of gastrointestinal discomfort. I only put in 3 hours at the office today because I feel tired, weak and just plain icky. Tonight's game is neither awakening my appetite nor energizing me. I still have the Pepto tablets at my side.

Is there a connection between my team's long, scoreless innings on the road and my nausea? Maybe so.

Ten on Tuesday

MY 10 LEAST FAVORITE CELEBRITIES

As they occurred to me:

1) Donald Trump
2) Madonna
3) Elizabeth Hasselbeck
4) Dr. Phil
5) Katherine Heigl
6) Paris Hilton
7) Kathie Lee Gifford
8) Jack Nicholson
9) Scarlett Johanssen
10) Celine Dion

To play along yourself, or to see who other bloggers named, click here.

Happy Birthday, Bobby Sherman

There was a brief time when this blue-eyed boy replaced Paul McCartney as my dream lover. My fantasy infidelity took place during 1969 and 1970, when Paul and the other Beatles were growing mustaches, getting married, getting busted, breaking up … in short, turning into complicated adult men. Scary!

Then there was Bobby Sherman.* A sweet-faced and completely non-threatening boy with great hair. He played the vulnerable, stuttering youngest brother on ABC's Here Come the Brides. He sang harmless pop confections like "Little Woman," "Easy Come, Easy Go," and (my fave) "Julie, Do 'Ya Love Me."

Today he turns 65. He deserves a happy birthday in exchange for all the hours of romantic, junior high bliss he gave me, whether on TV, from the turntable, or in the pages of Tiger Beat.

* David Cassidy deserves a mention here, too.

Rewards are good

I was wrestling with how to handle back-to-school. My niece and nephew are very dear to me and I want them to have everything they need. On the other hand, my sister and her husband are always in trouble financially, and (let's face it) they are only sporadically nice to me. Sometimes I wonder how often I should act as their ATM. Especially now, when the agency I work at is going through tumultuous times. I have been trying to be responsible with my own money … just in case a layoff is in my future.

I may not have money at my fingertips that I can easily share with my niece and nephew, but I do have rewards points, earned from the credit card I used to pay for my spa vacation last spring. Lots and lots of rewards points! Enough to get each kid a Target giftcard that they can use for school supplies and some back-to-school clothes.

Happy, happy! Joy, joy!

Manic Monday #16

What's your favorite beach in the world? Pale as I am, I'm really not a beachie-kinda gal and haven't had that many beach-centric vacations. But the southernmost beach in the contiguous 48, the beach in Key West that faces out to Cuba, is the one I have visited most often and have enjoyed the most.

What's the next country you want to visit? Ireland. I have been reading a lot of Marian Keyes chick-lit and she makes it sound completely charming.

What one thing are you craving today? Alone time would be nice. But since I'm at the office, I fear I'm not going to get it. Oh, well …

To play Manic Monday yourself, or to see how other bloggers have responded, click here.

The more things change ...

Tonight I'm watching AMC's highly-acclaimed Mad Men for the first time. It's set in a Madison Avenue advertising agency ca. 1960. Except for the fact that everyone smokes, so much so that I want to wash my hair just from watching it, and that all the men openly call the women "honey," I'm surprised by how little the workplace has changed: Internal reviews are still a bitch, there's always an alpha (on the show it's Draper) and everyone waits to hear his reaction before they share their own, and when one of the agency leads takes ill, everyone jockeys for his position.

Gee, I can't wait to go to the office tomorrow.

Yum!

I am hooked on Japanese Cherry Blossom bath products by The Body Shop. It has the most delicious smell! It's only available for a limited time, so get yourself to The Body Shop, at the mall or online, today. Really. You will thank me.

"Maybe my blood pressure is a little high"

Yesterday we celebrated my friend John's birthday. A big Heath Ledger fan, he wanted to see The Dark Knight. So we did. He wanted to eat dinner at a specific restaurant near the movie theater because he enjoyed drinks with friends there and wanted to sample their menu. We did.

He didn't really like the movie. He was disappointed that the restaurant didn't serve burgers. I had a nice enough time, but he kept apologizing for the subpar movie and the limited menu. He wasn't drinking anything stronger than Sprite, and that is sooooo not like him.

He explained it away by saying he was tired, that his blood pressure was probably a little high. Almost two years ago, he suffered through a bout with heart failure and his recovery has been slow but steady. He didn't seem concerned by this, just weary and discontented, but it bothers me. Next week when I check in with him, I'll be sure to ask him if he's spoken to his doctor.

Yes, he is that good

Saw The Dark Knight on Saturday and it was better than I expected. Easier to follow, and with a better story than any of the previous Batman movies I've seen (Keaton, Clooney, Kilmer, and the previous Bale included).

Now let's talk Ledger. His appeal always escaped me. To be completely honest, I thought he mumbled through one of the sudsiest, silliest, most over-hyped and unintentionally funny movies of all time, Brokeback Mountain. With this in mind, I had quite the "show me" attttude toward his much-heralded final role as The Joker.

Incredible. Awesome. Original. Engaging. Deeply, darkly charismatic, the movie comes alive only when he's onscreen. Which is ironic and ultimately very, very sad.

P.S. Not for kids! I don't care how many cereal boxes the Caped Crusader currently graces. This movie is too violent and too intense for children.

The Gal as Performer

This personality quiz is just another treasure I originally found at Kwizgiver's.

Summary of Performers

• Love fun, people and the world around them
• Prefer hands-on learning to reading a book
• Think of themselves as enthusiastic, sociable or sensitive
• May forget about commitments because they're having so much fun

For the Performers, people and the exciting world around them come before rules and routines. This group believes you can get work done efficiently and have fun at the same time. Others are naturally drawn to the Performers' outgoing nature and enjoyment of life.

Performers are good at reading people and figuring out what their needs are. They don't believe in making plans and are confident that they can handle whatever comes their way. These skills allow Performers to quickly motivate others.

In situations where they can't use their talents or are unappreciated, Performers may become distracted, fail to accept or meet deadlines, or take criticism too personally. Under extreme stress, Performers can be overwhelmed by thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong.

Performers may live for the moment and forget the consequences of their actions.

Performers are drawn to careers that require people skills and attention to detail.

Two additional cents on Britney

This just in: Britney Spears has decided to stop fighting her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, for custody of their two young sons. The former couple has agreed that he will be the full-time, custodial parent and she will have visitation rights.

I give her a lot of credit. I believe this was a very smart, and perhaps very loving, thing she did for her kids. It wasn't that long ago that she was in dire straights, in and out of the mental ward. She seems to be better, or at least more private about her pain and problems, which leads me to believe she's healing. It's possible that she's self-aware enough, and unselfish enough, to realize that she's too fragile to deal with two young boys full-time. Leaving them to their father (that's their FATHER, not a fire station!) may be best.

Perhaps it's because I'm not a mother myself, but I do not necessarily believe that mothers are always the better parents. I have friends who are infinitely patient and involved dads, and I have watched moms who are simply unable to put their kids' needs ahead of their own.

I'm not stupid, but I'm willing to play the part

Ah, the twisted relationship I have with my plumber! He's in his mid-60s and retired. He takes only the occasional job as it suits him, and coming to my condo suits him.

Because he thinks I'm younger, sweeter and dumber than I am.

The first time he came here -- five years ago -- it was because he was curious. I called him, desperate for a plumber who would even answer the phone on Christmas Day. He was happy to come by on Christmas evening, after he finished his dinner, because he had handled the maintenance for this building when it was still apartments and he wanted to see what it looked like after it was converted to condos. When I told my friends and family that I had a Christmas evening emergency visit from a plumber scheduled, there was much concern and many warnings about what I'd be charged. By the time he showed up, I was pretty worried. (But hey, one needs a toilet.) Hours of apprehension took its toll on my Christmas spirit. When he only charged me $200 for parts and labor, I was grateful. Impressed by his integrity -- he could have charged me way more -- and his kindness, I thanked him profusely.

I made quite the first impression on him. One of the naive, damsel in distress variety. He's been here five times since and every time it's the same. Since I really need him, he'll come by, even though he doesn't really do this kind of thing anymore. He talks to me about his daughter, his "lady friend," and everyone else in his life. When he spins these tales, he always mentions the characters ethnicities (German, "Negro," Italian, Mexican), which makes me uncomfortable, because, really, what difference does it make? But because he doesn't use epithets, I let it go. I do more than that -- I pretend to be amused. He explains everything he's doing there under the sink, but he talks to me like I'm on the verge of tears over my decrepit pipes. Oh, and on the way out he this evening he carefully and pedantically advised me to not speak so quickly when leaving him messages on his answering machine. "You go a mile a minute, you know." Everything about our conversations is condescending and annoying.

But tonight he only charged me $140. He does a good job and he guarantees his work. And he always shows up within hours of when I call, even if it's not an emergency. So in exchange for prompt service, good work and almost criminally low rates, I will pretend to be Goldie Hawn's flightier sister. I predict he and I will continue this mutually beneficial relationship until I completely redo my bathroom and kitchen (target date: 2010).

Hello, Boys!

I am so happy right now, curled up on the sofa, watching my heroes in blue play the Houston Astros. I was proud that so many Cubs were on the All-Star team, but I'm glad the break is over. I missed these regular-season games. Just look at Ryan Theriot! His hitting streak continues to 11 games! All is right with my world again.

I am so lucky to have a team whose heroics I can lose myself in.

An open letter to Sir Paul McCartney

Do you get Grey's Anatomy on your side of the pond, Sir? If you do, perhaps you remember that episode a few seasons back when Meredith beseeched Derek to, "Pick me, choose me, love me!" That is what I say to you this morning.

Odd, I know, considering that we've never met. Perhaps frightening, considering that John was murdered by a crazed fan. But I have given this considerable thought (all the way from the Randolph/Wabash el station to the security desk in my office building!) and I believe it's a good move for both of us.

Here's the thing: I'm tired this morning. And all I did was take a friend out to dinner last night to celebrate her birthday. Yes, we ate heavy food and killed a bottle of wine but I was still home before 10:00 PM. Yet this morning I am tired. Tomorrow I'm going out with another friend to see the Batman movie. Since we're going to a matinee and having dinner afterward, I'll probably be home before the end of the SNL monologue. To tell you the truth, Dr. Paul, I wish we weren't going tomorrow. It feels like a lot of booze and a lot of socializing and not enough alone time.

Now I read Heather Mills' complaints about you, and they lead me to believe you and I would be very compatible. She basically called you a boring old pothead who doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything. Fine by me! I don't smoke pot, but if you want to, be my guest. As evidenced by the above paragraph, I no longer crave the nightlife, nor do I love to boogie. And I can think of no one I'd rather sit on the sofa with as we do nothing together, hour after hour. Just please promise me I can have the remote and we'll be fine. (Have you seen the stars of Psyche send up "Ebony and Ivory?" It's wickedly fabulous! I'll Tivo it for you.)

She says you are stingy. Fine. Whatever. I live in a 2BR condo with leaky pipes and don't even own a car, so I'm sure the lifestyle she considered parsimonious wouldn't bother me at all.

She says you are no longer interested in your appearance. Okeedokee. When I look at you, all I see is February 1964 and the cover of Meet the Beatles, so I don't care about your current appearance, either.

She says you two often disagree on how to raise your daughter, Beatrice. My baby factory is closed, so we won't have that problem. Just don't try to discipline my cats in any way and we'll be fine.

Let's face it, Macca: In the past, we both have chosen poorly when it comes to romance. You certainly could and have done worse and so have I, so why shouldn't we give it a go?

Thursday Thirteen #77 -- THE DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION EDITION

THIRTEEN QUOTES FROM ANIMAL HOUSE

This movie delighted me when I saw it for the first time at the theater in 1978. Every time I've seen it since, I've still loved it. It remains as shameless, outrageous, vulgar, hip and almost unbearably funny as ever.

What follows are some of my favorite quotes from the film. This list is by no means exhaustive. If you're a fan and one of your favorites isn't included, I apologize -- but gimme a break, there were only 13 slots! And if you're not familiar with Animal House, I suggest you memorize these quotations because as Emil Faber, esteemed founder of Faber College, once said, "KNOWLEDGE IS GOOD."


1) “Eric Stratton, Pledge Chairman. Damn glad to meet you.” Otter

2) “The time has come for someone put his foot down. And that foot is ME!” Dean Vernon Wormer

3) “Thank you, sir, may I have another?” Chip

4) “Listen! I’m not joking! This is my JOB!” Professor Jennings

5) “Toga! Toga!” Bluto

6) Boone: “You’re going to hump her brains out, aren’t you?”
Otter: “I anticipate a deeply religious experience.”

7) “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” Dean Wormer

8) “Over? Did you say, ‘over?’ Nothing is over until we say it’s over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!” Bluto

9) “We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part. And we’re just the guys to do it!” Otter

10) Flounder: “I can’t believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.”
Boone: “Face it, Kent. You threw up on Dean Wormer.”

11) “You fucked up, you trusted us!” Otter

12) “I’m a zit! Get it?” Bluto

13) “Christ, 7 years of college down the drain!” Bluto

Leave your link in comments and I'll add you here (unless, of course, your comment is pointless or it annoys me; in that case I'll delete it as quickly as I can):
1) SJR shows us around her workplace
2) Malcolm shares the agony of dial up
3) Adelle helps us put romance into words
4) Claudia has a relaxing, yet interactive TT
5) Sandy speaks fluent text
6) Lori shares what's on her mind
7) Lisa concentrates on the letter "T"
8) Poppingbubbles gets up and dances
9) Forgetfulone gives us tips for keeping our candles fresh
10) Journeywoman takes us to the movies!
11) Denise captures 13 moments from her week away with the kids from church
12) Nina posts her scrapbooking wishlist
13) Let's go to the cottage with Clara!
14) We're all invited to sing along with Lori
15) Bellezza takes us to the arboretum.
16) Marcia gives us a tour of Pioneer Country
17) Starrlight reveals that she is a musical schizophrenic!
18) B Boys Mom shows us around her desk


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

"Harold, call me!"

Remember that awful commercial Harold Ford found himself up against in 2006? When he was running for Senate in Tennessee, the opposing party portrayed him as a lightweight party boy, out of touch with mainstream values and too fond of white women. The spot ended with a blonde holding her hand like a phone receiver and mouthing the words, "Harold, call me." Yes, Tenneseans, it's true: the black man is after your women. It was appalling and those behind it should be ashamed of themselves. Unfortunately, the commercial seemed to have an impact on voters.

After losing that election, Ford has rebounded nicely, as head of the DLC and a TV commentator. I must admit that I always perk up when he comes on screen. I mean, as cable network talking heads go, he is hot.

Ten Things Tuesday

Once again, an idea I liberated from Kwizgiver.

Ten Terrific TV Themes

1) The Patty Duke Show. "Meet Cathy who's been most everywhere, from Zanzibar to Barkley Square ..."

2) The Andy Griffith Show. I love it, and I don't even know how to whistle.

3) Magnum PI. It's fun and lively and sets the tone perfectly.

4) Kate and Allie. "Just when you think you're all by yourself, you're not." My favorite part of the show was always the opening, after the theme, when we'd catch the girls out and about, just talking.

5) The Fugitive. So lush and dramatic and adult.

6) Cheers. "Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name ..." OK, I would find being in a bar where everyone knows my name scary, but I can be a little antisocial and that shouldn't reflect on the theme.

7) Growing Pains. "Show me that smile again. Don't waste another minute on your crying ..." The theme song is more memorable than the show! I have always loved BJ Thomas' voice.

8) That Girl. "Diamonds, daisies, snowflakes, That Girl!" The first few seasons it didn't have lyrics, but I like that version, too. Like Magnum, the theme sets the right tone (light, enthusiastic).

9) Friends. "So no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA." Yeah, it got too much play on the radio and I became sick of it. But we have all felt this way, haven't we?

10) Flintstones. "Let's ride with the family down the street, by the courtesy of Fred's two feet." No, I'm not embarrassed that I know all the words. Yabba dabba dooo!

Morgan Fairchild was Faye Dunaway's Stand-In!

I love Bonnie & Clyde. I have seen it a gazillion times and the ending always hits me like a baseball bat to the gut. I believe it's the best, and certainly the most influential, American movie of my lifetime.*

But tonight, I'm not watching my new Bonnie and Clyde DVD. I'm watching the second, extras disc and I'm enjoying it enormously. Deleted scenes, Beatty's wardrobe tests, a documentary on the real -- and nowhere near as gorgeous -- Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker. Before today, I didn't know Morgan Fairchild had been Faye Dunaway's stand in! God, I love the extras when they're about a movie I love!

* Think of The Godfather and Sonny Corleone's last moments at the tollbooth. Consider the chasm it explores between money/power on one hand and respectability on the other. The visuals and the themes in The Godfather owe so very much to Bonnie & Clyde. And that's just the most obvious movie that springs to mind.

It happened again

My mother's short-term memory isn't for shit anymore. During yesterday's less-than-an-hour-long conversation, she gave me two more very clear examples:

1) I helped her out by picking up a picture frame for her to give as a gift. I mentioned how remarkably odd the photo that came in the frame was. Black and white, it was two musicians with greased-back hair, horns of some sort, posing in a 1940s bandstand setting. I mean, this was very retro, very WWII. I asked my mom if she recognized the musicians. Dorsey Brothers, perhaps? She said, no, they looked to her like "Frankie Valli and the Jersey Boys." She was serious. I reminded her that The Four Seasons were from the 1960s, not the 1940s. She certainly knows this -- she lived through it! She said nothing and just seemed confused.

2) Changing the subject to something merrier, I told her how beautiful the wedding invitation I just received was. I explained how my friend's initial was intertwined with his intended. My mom said, "What's her name again?" I told her -- no big deal. It's an unusual name, after all. The bride was born in Lithuania. My mom said, "That's a funny name. Where is she from?" Now, my mother and I have discussed the bride-to-be's family countless times over the last three years because I am so ambivalent about her. She helped her parents and some aunts and uncles come over from Europe and they speak NO English, which has put restrictions on where my friend, the groom-to-be, can live and work. (If it's a city that doesn't have a big Lithuanian community, his beloved vetoes it because her parents and aunts and uncles couldn't live comfortably there. And she can't be too far away from her family because, due to the language issue, they are so dependent on her.) MY MOM KNOWS THIS! We have been talking about it for years!

My mother is going to the doctor in a few weeks. She simply has to discuss this with him! I must be careful not to condescend or sound like I'm scolding her. She acts like she doesn't realize how much she forgets, but I'm not sure it's not scaring and embarrassing her. But her doctor has to be aware of this problem. My mom is on antibiotics and inhalers and blood thinners … this could simply be drug interaction and easily remedied.

Manic Monday #12

What do you do when you are feeling very sad or depressed? I heal with alone time, soaking in the tub and then vegging in front of the TV with a dependable movie or that old standby, Law & Order.

Who was your first crush? Paul McCartney. Sigh. Still not over him.

If given a chance to skip work for a day (without repercussions), how would you spend the entire day? Weather permitting, I'd love to go for a loooong walk with my headphones for company (Cubs baseball in the spring, summer and hopefully fall, iPod if there's no game).

To play yourself, or to see how other bloggers responded, click here.

A bipartisan farewell to two happy warriors

Hamilton Jordan, the whiz-kid who led the "Georgia Mafia" that ran Jimmy Carter's successful Presidential campaign and became Carter's chief of staff at the tender age of 32, was cruelly stricken by three forms of cancer. Instead of letting it get him down, he began Camp Sunshine, a retreat for sick kids. He died this past May. He was 63.

Tony Snow, the class act of the Bush press office (arguably the class act of this administration), died of complications of chemotherapy this week. He was 53.

Look at these photos. At the time they were taken, both men had already been battling cancer for years. Yet they celebrated life and, at least in public, showed us their most inspiring game faces. I thank these two men for their service to country -- both in and out of the political arena. And now that their painful battles are behind him, may they both rest in peace.

Yawn!

It's almost 10:30. I'm still in my jams, curled up on the sofa, eating some Yoplait, watching Meet the Press. As I consider what a comforting, avuncular presence Tom Brokaw is, even as he fillets both Carly Fiorino and Claire McCaskill, it occurs to me that my energy level doesn't match my to-do list. This confuses me, because, after all, I slept in this morning.

Even though we had tons of fun yesterday, there's just something about a day of sunshine, along with an exciting/stressful ballgame and, most of all, a second grader who enjoys lots of interaction, that wears me out!

You moms, you schoolteachers, and you schoolteachers who go home to be moms, all have my sincere admiration this morning.

Grandma's heavenly handiwork

My grandmother was a Cub fan. Specifically she loved Ryne Sandberg, but she was loyal to any and all who wore Cubbie blue. She died in 1997, before my young nephew was even born.

Today I took him to his first-ever Cub game. We had spectacular fourth-row seats along first base and both he and I were breathlessly excited about the adventure before us. However, it really rained last night, and torrential showers were predicted for the whole of the day today. So my nephew and I filled my purse and his backpack with umbrellas and raincoats and headed off to the friendly confines of Wrigley Field.

Guess what! The Weather Channel, NBC, CBS and WGN were all wrong. The clouds parted, the sun came out, and my nephew and I both have slightly burnt noses! Not only did the Cubs get a standard 9 innings in, we even went into two extra innings as the game that began as a route suddenly became a nailbiter.

How to explain this? Easy. Grandma's heavenly hands pushed the clouds away so that her great grandson could enjoy a long, exciting, sunny day at the ballpark with her team.

An unconventional dinner

I didn't just have the Hot Tamales. I also downed a few fists full of Cheez-Its and some water. I considered a beer, but beer with cinnamon and cheesey crackers just sounded gross. (Hey! I guess that means that I do have some culinary standards after all!)

Friday's Feast #34

Appetizer. When was the last time you had your hair cut/trimmed? About 3 weeks ago.

Soup. Name one thing you miss about being a child. Surprises from Santa.

Salad. Pick one: butter, margarine, olive oil. Margarine.

Main Course. If you could learn another language, which one would you pick, and why? Spanish, because a close friend of mine is Puerto Rican and I think it would make him happy if to converse in his native tongue.

Dessert. Finish this sentence: In 5 years I expect to be… soaking in the tub of my finally, fabulously renovated bathroom.

To whip up your own feast, or to see how other bloggers responded,
click here.

Schadenfreude

Tonight during my rainy commute home, the el trains were packed. Seats were rare. I prefer not to ride backwards, so as soon as the car doors opened, I made a beeline for the open seat facing forward. After I settled in I noticed that, even though people were standing, there was an open seat -- but facing the other way -- on the aisle. The gentleman sitting by the window was sound asleep. I didn't think much of it.

At the next stop, a damp-but-not-quite-soaked woman looked thrilled to find that empty seat on the aisle and dropped herself into it. Her seatmate woke up, and suddenly the reason why those in the know would rather stand than sit with him became apparent.

He began speaking animatedly, loudly and completely unintelligibly. The woman sitting beside him looked startled and tried to understand what he was saying to her. This tirade of mumbles had nothing to do with her, though. Judging by what I could make out, he was upset by how poorly his umbrella fit in its matching sheathe. (If that doesn't justify a loud, slurred fit in a public place, what does?) The woman sitting next to him went from surprise to embarrassment. She concentrated on keeping her eyes straight ahead. Being ignored didn't deter Mr. Noisy Mumbler, though. After about 10 loooong minutes, he finally wound down and fell back to sleep.

I feel guilty admitting that part of me enjoyed this. Because usually I'm the one who gets the loony seatmate.

Thursday Thirteen #76 -- All Singing! All Dancing!

THE 13 GREATEST MUSICALS
IN AMERICAN FILM HISTORY

The American Film Institute loves to make lists, and, as a movie fan, I love to read them. In 2006, the AFI nominated 180 American movie musicals and distributed ballots to AFI members. Here are the top 13 vote getters. In italics I've added the musical scene that springs immediately to mind when I think of these classics.

1 SINGIN' IN THE RAIN 1952 MGM "The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love."

2 WEST SIDE STORY 1961 United Artists "A boy like that would kill your brother! Forget that boy! Go find another!"

3 WIZARD OF OZ, THE 1939 MGM "With the thoughts I'd be thinkin' I could be another Lincoln, if I only had a brain."

4 SOUND OF MUSIC, THE 1965 Twentieth Century-Fox "Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good."

5 CABARET 1972 Allied Artists "Farewell, Mein Leber Herr! It was a fine affair, but now it's over."

6 MARY POPPINS 1964 Disney "With every job that must done there is an element of fun. You find the fun and SNAP! The job's a game! And every task you undertake becomes a piece of cake ..."

7 STAR IS BORN, A 1954 Warner Bros. "Ever since this world began there is nothing sadder than a one-man woman looking for the man that got away."

8 MY FAIR LADY 1964 Warner Bros. "Oh, so loverly sitting absobloominlootly still. I would never budge till spring crept over me windersill."

9 AMERICAN IN PARIS, AN 1951 MGM CONFESSION: I have never seen this movie start to finish, so I don't have a favorite scene

10 MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS 1944 MGM "As he started to leave I took hold of his sleeve with my hand, and as if it were planned, he stayed on with me and it was grand, just to stand with his hand holding mine … to the end of the line!"

11 KING AND I, THE 1956 Twentieth Century-Fox "Getting to know you, getting to know all about you. Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me ..."

12 CHICAGO 2002 Miramax "Start the car, I know a whoopee spot where the gin is cold and the piano's hot ..."

13 42ND STREET 1933 Warner Bros. "C'mon along and listen to the lullaby of Broadway, the hip-horray and bally-hoo, the lullaby of Broadway."

I don't completely agree with this list. I have never been crazy about West Side Story. Natalie Wood was a luminous screen presence, but she was a lousy Maria. And what about that lame-ass Tony? For what it's worth, I've always found An American in Paris pretentious. Instead I would have included Easter Parade because I love the "Couple of Swells" number, and Young at Heart, where Sinatra sits at the piano and breaks our hearts by singing "Someone to Watch Over Me." But isn't disagreeing now and again part of what makes these lists such fun?

Include your link in the comments and I'll list you here:
1) The Green Movement gets the Pink Flamingo treatment
2) Nicholas shares his plan for world rule
3) Malcolm -- the speed demon who once again hit my TT before I could visit his! -- takes us out to the arcade
4) Sandy Carlson has a "sultry," and evocative TT
5) Hootin' Ani waxes poetic this week
6) Lilibeth's TT is a valentine to her home
7) Sobeit has a movie TT -- and you KNOW how the Gal loves movie TTs!
8) Marcia takes us back to the 4th
9) Kay helps us learn more about Kay ... and ourselves
10) Claudia takes on an online version of Scrabble. Play along ... if you dare!
11) Jenny McB faces her apathy head on!
12) Diana M's TT is musical, too!
13) Poppingbubbles introduces those who came BEFORE her prince
14) Janet's TT is a trip down memory lane
15) Kristi shoots the fireworks, and the results are great
16) Travel to Ontario with Adelle
17) Visit Kim's birthday TT
18) Jane shares the most beautiful baby in the world
19) Toni's TT is all about the month of July
20) Feefifoto is about my least favorite domestic chore
21) Lori introduces us to a super new superhero
22) Randlin's TT is musical, too.
23) Chris has another laugh out loud TT
24) Jen has a name-calling TT
25) Angie has a colorful TT


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Unexpectedly melancholy

This morning, for the first time, I left my condo without passing the venerable old elm tree in the parkway out front.

I knew it was coming down. We got notice over the holiday weekend that the village discovered Dutch Elm Disease and was removing it. I didn't think I cared. After all, it's not visible from my condo unit and the tree that amuses the cats and provides shade to my livingroom remains strong and healthy.

Only this morning, I did care. A lot. Turns out I will miss that mighty old tree, after all.