Now THIS was a party

Look who joined Ringo on stage to celebrate his 70th birthday. Look what he sang!

As seen at Kwizgiver's

She got a different result than I did.

You Could Use Some Purple

It's hard to put your finger on it, but something about your life probably feels incomplete right now. You are restless and a bit aimless. You could do with some direction. Tap into some purple energy to find wisdom and true understanding. You need to gaze inward in order to truly solve your problems. Don't be afraid to introspect.

What Color Would Help You Right Now?

Look who I met today

A coworker brought her baby boy into the office for the first time. It was fascinating to see him. Born mid-April, he's already so long and lean and friendly! It's a curious phenomenon to see the bump I spent day in and day out with as a fully-formed human being. And, after the loss we found out about earlier this week, it was heartening to see a baby, good to see life renewing itself.

Don't know if Mom is going to come back from maternity leave. We certainly need her, though she doesn't seem especially eager to leave him.

(This photo wasn't taken today. It's about 10 days old. Mom sent it to me because, well, guess who gave him the outfit!)

"Let's continue."

So said our fearless leader, Lou Piniella, after Wednesday's sweep of Diamondbacks. Our win streak has reached three! And trust me, this season that is cause for celebration!

I just wish the Dodgers -- our next opponents on this West Coast jaunt -- weren't so good this year. And I wish these weren't all night games! The late starts screw with my schedule -- I eat too much and forget to do my evening "Clean Me." I guess that means that the 2010 Gal is about as consistent and disciplined as her 2010 Cubs.

Amazingly enough, I saw a former coworker in the stands. I heard he'd retired to Arizona and there he was, sitting behind some Cubs fans in full Cubbie regalia whom the camera lingered on for a long moment. The Diamondbacks only pull less than 30,000 fans this year but still, what are the odds that I'd be able to recognize someone I know in the stands?

Oh well, it's time to sing myself to sleep with, "Go, Cubs, go ..." I shall dream of my team continuing their hot streak into the All-Star break.

Retirement becomes him

Doesn't my beloved future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux look happy in this picture? He met the press this evening after the Cubs game in Arizona. As assistant to the Cubs' general manager, he said all the right things about Zambrano, but then, he's always been perfectly appropriate with the press, so that's no surprise.

Now water coolers are another story ...

(I've missed you, Professor.)

The Queen's Meme -- The Firsts Meme

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? "My, how many chins do you have goin' there?"

2. Where did you go on the very first vacation of your life? Duck Lake in Northern Michigan. I remember being embarrassed because, since the cottage only had a shower, my mother gave me a bath in the sink.

3. Open the door of your refrigerator. What is the first thing you see? The Dean's Milk Chug (for my cereal).

4. Tell us about your first kiss OR your last first date. I'm sad to report I don't remember either. So instead I'll tell you about my last great first kiss. We were sitting on his sofa, watching the godawful movie that followed Mystery Science Theater. It was closer to dawn than midnight and still he was resisting taking me home. I must have dozed off on his shoulder because I was awakened by the greatest kiss in this history of tongues and lips.

5. If you had wings to fly about the universe, where is the first place you'd land? Someplace cool, with a lot of shade.

6. What is the first thing you do when you get in your car? I don't have a car.

7. What is the first thing you ever said to your firstborn? Don't have one of these, either.

8. What is the last thing you heard about your first love? My mom mentioned that he was in town for his father's funeral and reported that his glasses were "funny looking." I didn't ask her to elaborate.

9. If you had created the world in seven days yourself, what would you have created on the First Day? Baseball

10. What is the first song in your IPOD or song list? "A" by Barenaked Ladies. Not surprising, since my song list is alphabetical.

11. What is the first tangible thing you lost that you could never find again? I'd say, "my virginity," except I know exactly who took it. (See Question #8.)

12. Who is your favorite First Lady of all time? Has to be JBKO, my all-time hero.

13. Post a link to your first blog post. Good goobies, but you're bossy today, My Queen. You know how to scroll. If you're that curious, you can find it yourself.

14. When was the last time you needed FirstAid? When trying to liberate my new camera from all it's packaging, I cut my left index finger.

15. Can you explain the first down in football? No. Sorry.

To play yourself, and avoid incarceration in the dungeon, click here.

I Want Wednesday

I want it all to slow down.

Sometimes moments seem to crawl along, while years are zooming by, and I'd like that to change, please.

Not only is Ringo Starr now 70, but one of my clients died over the weekend at 71. He was a terrific man, one of my favorites because he was always lively and enthusiastic. His death was sudden, a massive heart attack. I suspect that was a blessing for him, but difficult for his family.

As I looked over his obituary and saw the richness of his life, I wasn't surprised. He seemed like one who would be involved, not on the sidelines. But I also saw a life that may have looked ordinary. A tour of duty in Vietnam, followed by an associate degree and a career in finance with a handful of companies right there in the hometown he never left. He married young and is survived by that same wife, as well 4 children and 7 grandchildren. At the time of his death, he'd already lost his parents and two sisters (one was his twin). For 25 years he refereed the high school's home football games. He went to work every day, sitting in his cubicle, doing his job day in and day out with integrity. I find much to admire about the way he conducted his "ordinary" life. And this past weekend he died.

I wonder if he felt it went by too quickly.

I look at my mom and know that, while virtually his age, she no longer has the stamina or mental acuity he demonstrated as recently as last week.

I think of my own life -- how the All-Star break is almost upon us, June 2010 is but a memory, and how my vacation in Williamsburg feels like it was just yesterday.

I want it all to slow down.

What about you? What do you want?

Happy 70th, Ringo!

Ringo is the first Beatle to reach this milestone. And, since the ranks of the Fab Four have tragically diminished, attention must be paid to this auspicious event.

So here are some facts about The Funny One. Take a moment today and send an affectionate birthday wish his way.

• Born Richard "Richie" Starkey to Elsie and Richard in Liverpool.

• His parents divorced when he was very young and his mother was remarried to Harry Graves, who encouraged young Richie's love of music and enjoyed Beatlemania immensely.

• Was a member of Rory Storm and the Hurricanes when the Beatles persuaded him to join their group in 1962 (being the first Beatle born but the last to join the band makes him both the youngest and the oldest Beatle).

• Twice married -- to Maureen, a local Liverpool girl and the mother of his children (Zak, Jason and Lee) from 1965 to 1975, and to Barbara Bach, the actress he met while filming Caveman, since 1981.

• As a Beatle, some of his best-known vocals include "Boys," "I Wanna Be Your Man," "Act Naturally," "Matchbox," "Yellow Submarine," "Octopus' Garden" and, perhaps most famously, "With a Little Help from My Friends."

• As a solo artist, he had hits with "It Don't Come Easy," "Photograph," "You're Sixteen," and "The No No Song."

• Paul McCartney is not the only one who feels Ringo is underestimated as a musician, since his post-Beatle career has included successful collaborations with rock luminaries like Todd Rundgren, E-Streeters Clarence Clemons and Nils Lofgren, Levon Helm, Dr. John, and Dave Edmunds.

• He's my nephew's favorite Beatle, owing to the years he spent as Mr. Conductor on Thomas the Tank Engine.

Clean Me

Every day I am going to do something -- no matter how small -- to improve my standard of living at home.

If I still had shame left re: this, I'd be embarrassed to report that, while cleaning under my bed, I discovered a phone that's in better shape than the one currently on my nightstand, and a never-worn pair of shoes that, after I remove all the Charlotte fur (I suspect she's been resting her head on one of them), will be good as new again.

It occurs to me that I'd spend less on earrings, and sunglasses, and watches, and shoes if I kept track of the earrings, sunglasses, watches and shoes I already have.

I want one!

The covergirl of the latest Signals catalog is The Waving Solar Queen. As described by the good people at Signals:

Invite the Queen of England to a windowsill, flowerpot, or anyplace that gets some sun. A solar panel on her handbag powers the Royal Wave, her famously discreet "changing the lightbulb" gesture. Add a regal touch to your home or office without adding batteries. 6 ½" high. Note: Your queen's dress might be blue, pink, or orange. Please allow Her Majesty to choose.

Yes, it's silly. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, it's completely useless. And if I weren't devoted to getting my home and finances in order, I'd be calling Signals to get one.

10 on Tuesday

Inspired by Kwizgiver, who shares 10 great summer quotes,
I celebrate a man for all seasons with 10 quotes from

GROUCHO MARX

1. If you want to see a comic strip, watch me take a shower.

2. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

3. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read anyway.

4. Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. And how he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.

5. Don’t gulp that poison! It’s $4 a bottle!

6. Any man who can see through women is missing a lot.

7. I don’t want to belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member.

8. I have here an accident policy that will absolutely protect you no matter what happens. If you lose a leg, we'll help you look for it.

9. I intend to live forever or die trying.

10. I’ve known and respected your husband for many years – and if you’re good enough for him, you’re good enough for me!

The good thing about a bad season

The Cubs beat the Diamondbacks this afternoon! It was a good, competent game. And I'm happy, happy, happy.

My expectations this season are so low that every victory is cause for celebration ... and song!

"Go, Cubs, go. Go, Cubs, go.
Hey, Chicago, what do you say?
The Cubs are gonna win today!"

Movie Monday

This week's movie topic is all about Special Effects...

Here are my choices for movies that contain wicked awesome special effects. Share yours on your blog and back here at The Bumbles. And don't forget to visit your fellow participants!

JFK. I have a ton of problems with this movie in terms of narrative and content, but as an exercise in film making, I genuinely admire it. Oliver Stone interwove the real Zapruder film with actual news footage with stuff he made up, and he did it seamlessly. So seamlessly that by the time you it's over, you're not sure what you believe anymore. Likewise with the autopsy photographs. Now we could debate the movie's veracity and even its morality, but not its impact. It's a special effects tour de force that won multiple awards for its editing.

Die Hard. One of my favorite movies, a delightful thrill ride. Individual action sequences are still vivid in my mind's eye -- floors of Nakatomi Plaza being blown out, windows shattering and John McLane stepping through the broken glass with bare feet, and Hans' shocked face as he falls 35 floors to his death. Not unlike what the Bumbles said of Gary Sinise in Forrest Gump, I know that Alan Rickman probably only fell a few feet onto a mattress, but watching Hans descend sure as shit looked real!

Me and my camera

The view of the fireworks from my 4th floor living room window is perfect ... and unphotographable. I kept getting my own reflection and the weave of the drapes in each shot. So I went downstairs to the front steps and the lighting and angle were all wrong.

So this is the July 4 that I will remember for spending watching the fireworks through my camera (which I obviously still haven't mastered) instead of in the sky. Here's the best I could do, trying to capture the rockets' red glare over the treetops.

About the Cubs Curse

The Cubs were ahead 2-0 and then, somehow, ended up losing 14-3. I watched the game and still, am somehow not sure how it happened. Believe it or not, things may be looking up, since Friday we lost 12-0.

So it got me thinking about
The Curse.

According to legend, it dates back to 1945, the last time the Cubs made it to the World Series. Sam Sianis, owner of The Billy Goat Tavern*, brought a goat named Murphy to the ballpark. He even bought a ticket for Murphy. It was a warm day, Murphy's unique goat-y scent began to annoy other fans, and word came down from Cubs' owner PK Wrigley himself that Sianis and Murphy were to be ejected from the park. As he left the ballpark, Sam loudly placed a curse on the team and the park itself: "The Cubs will never win a World Series as long as a goat isn't allowed in Wrigley Field!"

The 1945 Cubs lost to the Tigers and haven't appeared in a Series since. They haven't won a championship since 1908.

Then, of course, there were the 1969 Cubs. I actually remember this. The line-up of that team can still tug the heartstrings -- Ron Santo, Fergie Jenkins, Billy Williams and Mr. Cub himself, Ernie Banks. They were up by 9 1/2 games in September. Somehow a black cat made it's way onto the field in New York and the Cubs lost to the Mets ... that day and consistently until they somehow blew the lead completely and watched the Mets take their place at the top of the NL and win the World Series.

And, of course, there's Fucking Steve Bartman. (Yes, I have been told that "Fucking" is not his real first name, but I have seen no proof.) In 2003, when the Cubs were in the playoffs against the Marlins, that fan reached out of the stands at Wrigley Field, trying for a souvenir and interfering with the game, preventing left fielder Moises Aloe from catching the ball. And making the out. The Cubs lost momentum, and the playoff series, and their chance for glory.

We have tried to Reverse the Curse. Many Greek restaurants serve goat as a special during the season, often performing exorcisms. A goat has also been ceremoniously welcomed into the park, brought by one of old Sam's descendants. As you can see below, the Bartman Ball was actually exploded publicly at Harry Caray's Restaurant.

And yet ... we continue to lose unloseable games under ridiculous circumstances. I don't believe in The Curse, exactly. But sometimes it seems like the only logical explanation left.




* The Billy Goat Tavern also claims to be the inspiration of the "cheezburger, cheezburger" skit made famous by John Belushi on SNL.

Keep our soldiers in your prayers today

Enjoy your 4th, and remember who makes this long weekend possible.

I'm asking God to keep each of them safe until they come home ... whether it's individually because their tours are over or collectively because the conflict has been resolved.

Inspired by Mimi.

No one won the Illinois State Lottery last night

That includes me, of course. But I prefer to look at it as the pot will be even higher for tomorrow's drawing!

I realize there are those who believe that playing the lotto is a waste of money. But I prefer to look at it as $2 for four grids means hours of fantasies, which is a good deal.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Eighty Meme, Part Two

23. Are your days fast-paced? Not lately.

24. What did you do last night? Took my friend out to a movie and his birthday dinner.

25. Do you use sarcasm? Me? Never!

26. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 53. It hurts to see the numerals. Fifty-three. There, that's a little better.

27. Are you picky about spelling and grammar? Less so than other writers I know.

28. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex? It depends on the individual.

29. Do you watch the news? Almost obsessively.

30. How did you get one of your scars? I have a scar on my left thigh that dates back to The Earthquake of 08. There was a 5.2 tremor in Southern Illinois and we felt it up here in Chicagoland. I don't know if it was the quake that awakened me or my cat's reaction, but we were both frightened and as he leaped off the bed, he scratched me.

31. Who was the last person to make you mad? My mom. Sometimes she sees problems where they don't exist.

32. What is the last big thing you purchased? My new camera. I used it to take the above photo of Joey.

33. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours? My TV boyfriend, Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

34. What is a rumour someone has spread about you? That a coworker and I were lovers. We weren't.

35. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? Depends on who I'm with. (Nudge nudge, wink, wink)

36. T or F: All’s fair in love and war? T

37. Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning? Nope.

38. Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings Time? Nope.

39. Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang? Nope.

40. What’s something you’ve always wanted? A winning lottery ticket.

41. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Lake.

42. Do you wear a lot of black? Yes. More than I should, according to Stacy and Clinton.

43. Describe your hair: short and reddish brown.

44. Where is/are your best friend(s)? Boulder, CO

I'm a lucky girl

I'm still not feeling great. It's my tummy. I'm languid and a little weak. And yet, I'm happy.

And I feel fortunate, because it's the little things in my life that give me joy. Like the Cubs victory. Against first-place Cincinnati! Plus, today marked the exact halfway point in the Cubs' season, which means they are entering the second half on a high note!

I know this doesn't really make a tangible difference to the state of the world, or the Gulf, or even Chicagoland, but it does have a visceral impact on my mood.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Make Me Say It Again, Girl

1. Do you feel that you need to keep repeating yourself when talking to a particular person? Yes. One of my coworkers either doesn't listen or doesn't hear, and even after all these years in the business I have to keep explaining and explaining to him. Fortunately, he's a really sweet man, otherwise it would go old very fast.

2. It's July. Do you have anything special planned? Later in the month, I'm having someone come in to rescue my hideous, horrible bathroom -- he'll regrout all the tiles, replace the caulk around the tub and toilet and sink, steam clean the floor and scrape/sand/killz prime the area around the shower. I cannot wait!

3. Who is your big celebrity crush? It changes. Right now, Mark Harmon is my TV boyfriend.

4. Tell us about a local restaurant you are sure we'd love. Opera serves delicious Asian-Indian fusion food, and the decor is pretty cool.

5. Tell us about the shyest person that you deal with regularly. I don't know if she's shy, exactly, but one of my coworkers suffers agony before she speaks to the client.

6. What is your vision of heaven and hell? Heaven is all things good. We are restored to health and we're happy and we're surrounded by God and love. We make our own hell here on earth.

7. What is your neighborhood like? We enjoy diversity, good schools and lovely little parks.

8. What's your favorite cook-out food? Hot dogs. They don't take very long, and I love seeing those little grill lines.

9. When was the last time that you saw fireworks? I can see them from my livingroom.

Observing tradition

Last night my friend John and I celebrated his birthday the way do -- dinner and a movie, both chosen by the celebrant.

The movie he chose was Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work, the well-received documentary that makes Joan the woman more interesting than Joan the comedienne. I never thought I'd say this, but I think if I knew her I'd like her, and both John and I certainly felt great compassion toward the old girl.

Then we went to dinner at Wilde's, an Irish pub devoted to the memory of Oscar. I had a huge dish of macaroni and cheese, which was delicious then but not so great now (see below). We ended the evening with a nightcap at a tiny dive bar John knows.

At one point in the movie, Rivers bemoans having to fire her long-time manager. They have been together so long, he's the only one she can turn to and ask, "Remember when ....?" and know he does. After 30 years of friendship, we're like that. And while we can frustrate one another to distraction, we can't fire each another.

This is why I bought ginger ale

My tummy hurts. Yesterday, throughout the day, I had a bagel w/cream cheese, popcorn, a big, heavy dish of macaroni and cheese and a pair of martinis. Oh yeah, and a salad, too. And it's all just sitting on my tummy this morning like a big brick.

As I look at that list, I wonder what I thought would happen.

Water + Beer + Water = OUCH!

I had lunch yesterday at The Taste of Chicago and, since I preferred spending my tickets on food*, I bought a bottle of water instead of having my customary Coke with lunch. Later in the day I took a free Bud Light off the beer cart. Then, to save calories, I had only water with dinner.

And by bedtime I had a headache that didn't respond to painkillers.

It wasn't debilitating, just painful, so I know it wasn't a migraine. I suspect it's because I skipped the Coke -- and the caffeine -- at lunch.

*I had fried cheese ravioli from Harry Caray's booth, peach cobbler from B. J.'s Market and Bakery and, in a bow to tradition, chocolate-covered cheesecake on a stick from Eli's. I only regret the ravioli. It was very bland. And, to borrow from Woody Allen, it was such a small portion!

Meet my second in command

This is Charlotte Ann. She is making serious eye contact with me because she is a serious girl. She has a lot of responsibility. It's up to her to make sure I sort the laundry properly, that I remember to serve the correct treat to each cat (crunchy for her, soft for Reynaldo and cat grass for Joey), that the boys don't defecate in the ladies-only litter box (I don't know how she achieves this, but she does), and that every morning I apply my skin care and makeup properly.

PS This really is all there is to her, for she has no tail. It's not her breed, it's the result of an unfortunate accident that took place, as best we can tell, when she was just weeks old. It causes her no pain and only adds to her charisma.

Peggy Like Me

Went to Mad Men Yourself and turned myself into a copywriter at Sterling Cooper, ca 1962. I gussied myself up for dinner with the boss. I hope he doesn't have anything on his mind but work. I heard Mr. Draper can be something of a "wolf."

Last Clean Me of June

Every day I am going to do something -- no matter how small -- to improve my standard of living at home.

I'm continuing what I started. I'm actually using the colognes I rediscovered and rescued from the linen closet. What's the point of hanging on to a fragrance if it's going to languish in the dark? I had a padded envelope in a bag hanging on the door knob. I have been adding little things for Operation: Shoebox to the bag and last night I packed the goodies inside the envelope and today I'm sending the soldiers 4 sample-size tubes of toothpaste, a 4-pack of tampons, and some facial wipes. And last night, when the grocery delivery guy arrived, I sent him away with another shopping bag of shopping bags for recycling. (Am I the only one who has an unending and constantly replenishing supply of plastic bags?)

I love having you all cleaning along with me. It helps to know that my issue is less embarrassing and more universal than I thought! Plus, knowing you're out there helps keep me honest. So thank you.

I don't want this to be true

This article from People.com may explain what the hell happened between Al and Tipper. While I have never had a great affinity for Gore, it makes me sad that a 30-year marrige is coming to an end.

A week after news broke that Al Gore faced allegations of sexual assault, the former vice president broke his silence, issuing a strongly worded denial Wednesday. The statement comes as police in Portland, Ore., say they're reopening an investigation into a massage therapist's claims that Gore made "unwanted sexual contact" with her four years ago ... during a three-hour massage session at a luxury hotel in October 2006.

The Queen's Meme

Our monarch gets into the Spirit of the Season with her meme.
To play along, click here.

I hold these truths to be self-blevident!
(That’s blog + evident for all you non-blog speakers)

I declare myself to be free from guilt.

I wish I could free myself of CLUTTER!

I am thankful that Ortho/Novum freed me from reproductive tyranny.

I don't mind paying for fun things but boring, utilitarian items (like light bulbs and toilet paper) should be free.

I am free to make the mistake of rooting for my Cubbies, over and over again. In fact, I look forward to it!

If I could choose one freedom I don’t have today it would be the freedom to eat whatever I damn well please without gaining weight. (I used to be able to, you know.)

In a free and perfect world there would be no handguns.

I am going to write my Declaration of Independence on a giant pizza crust.

I wouldn’t mind being taxed on fun things, but I highly resent being taxed on non-discretionary items, like food and medicine.

When I was younger I was free to piss away my money but now that I’m older I prefer to exercise a little restraint.

I declare myself free from the destructive habit of regret.

I declare myself joyfully addicted to Leroy Jethro Gibbs (my TV boyfriend)!!!

I don’t think the world will ever be totally free of lust.

With complete abandon, I free fall into dreams of the Cubs passing Milwaukee in the NL Central.

In a hypothetical Superman existence, I would use my power to do good by protecting all the kids whose parents stupidly don't watch them at the mall.

I wickedly use my my power to do evil by punishing all the lazy-ass parents referenced above.

If I weren’t so dependent on caffeine, I could be truly independent about the beverage choices I make.

When I need to free my thoughts from stress and worry, I imagine Gibbs in his Navy whites, carrying me out of this paper bag factory.

I would like to freely kick BP in the seat of its hypothetical pants.

I want to do this (one illegal activity) every single day and pay no consequences. It's not illegal but it's not nice -- sleep with one man every single day, even if he's someone I shouldn't. Sigh.

I want the freedom to let my silliness run amok also and enjoy Alvin & the Chipmunks every single day.

If I could re-write the Freedom of Information Act I would remove all those heavy black lines that cover the good stuff from the public record.

I daily need the freedom to create and I don't give a damn what anybody else thinks about it.

If I had the power to throw one person in jail it would be Steve Bartman.

If I had the power to free one person from bondage of any kind I would free my best friend from the bondage of low self-esteem.

If I could “speak truth to power," I would say to the world, "Drive less, TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, and reduce your addiction to gas and oil, you morons!"

The 3 most important freedoms I have in my life are: freedom of speech, freedom of worship, and freedom to have as many cats as I want because I own and don't rent anymore.

My favorite freedom song is:

I'm skipping the last question because I'm devoting this blog to the idea of PERSONAL freedom. Nobody's responsible for this but moi.

Clean Me for Tuesday

Every day I am going to do something -- no matter how small -- to improve my standard of living at home.

It reminds me of a bastardization of an old Catskills comedy routine: “I just cleaned a shelf in my linen closet and boy, does my arm stink.” Let me explain. I had a graveyard of partially used colognes on the second shelf of my linen closet, reasoning that the scents would last longer in that dark, cool environment. Then, after tucking them safely away in the cool darkness, I forgot about them.

Tonight, before I disposed of any, I sprayed a bit on my right arm. Some I found had lost their scent, others I just don't like anymore. Twelve containers of fragrance that, for one reason or the other, I won't wear anymore anyway are in the trash, and two cosmetic bags are in the bag for Goodwill.

10 on Tuesday

On my mind right now ...

1) Sean Murray has signed a new contract! That means that Timothy McGee will be on NCIS again this fall. He's not the hottest, nor the funniest, but his character is sweet and smart and I'd miss him. I'd also miss all his nicknames: Probie, McGoo, McGeek, McNerd and Elf Lord.

2) The veins on the inside of my knees aren't fading as much as I'd like. Yet I'm tempted to skip on my next (and, hopefully, final) sclerotherapy session next Friday because I hate the post-treatment support hose soooooo much. Considering how much time, discomfort and money I have sunk into this project, that would be short-sighted and immature. However, short-sightedness and immaturity kinda define me at times.

3) Carlos Zambrano. I know I should have compassion, in case he is indeed suffering from some sort of medical problem. But I suspect he's just a dick. I mean, watch this! Poor Lou practically had to resort to a tranquilizer gun to control his pitcher.

4) The Supreme Court must not care if we have a long, hot summer here. How could they overturn Chicago's gun ban? I know Mayor Daley is on it, and normally my faith in him is limitless, but I'm scared.

5) Today's workout felt good. For some reason, they always do on the days when I almost don't go.

6) It's beginning in earnest. The State of Illinois is now seriously exerting their power over their ward, my uncle. They restrict his phone use, monitor his mail, and have cut off his cable. He resents all this mightily. However, I'm glad it's finally coming to pass. The court ruled he was no longer equipped to handle his own affairs back in March, and then for many weeks, nothing happened. I think we were all lulled into thinking not much about his life would change. Everything about his life will change. I'd prefer if we could just get it all over with.

7) The opening bars of certain songs always evoke very specific memories. I don't need the whole song, just the first notes of "The End of the Innocence," by Don Henley, "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5 and "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Springfield will take me back.

8) Hearing the Chipmunks sing "Chelsea Dagger" makes me smile. I suspect this means I'm disturbed.

9) No one is taking work very seriously today. I don't know if it's because the Taste of Chicago is going on just past the front door, or because we have a short work week, but it's undeniably something. Why, even I am composing an unusually long post here!

10) I wish I had an admin at home. I need to return one of the duplicate handbags ebags sent, and tell the Doubleday Book Club that I'm not paying for a book I never requested and didn't receive. But I don't feel like doing either thing and will put them off for as long as possible.

A family Facebook tale

I love my family, I do. But at times I feel more like a changeling than a real relative. And lately my "otherness" has been more powerful.

Let me start with the least serious and most annoying familial issue: Facebook. I don't have a problem with Facebook itself. To me, it's an entertaining toy that only sporadically holds my interest. Twitter is the same for me. I think it's because they are so both so superficial and public by nature. The place where I participate most consistently, and am most authentic, is here on this blog.

Anyhow, last year, my Aunt Jo (my dad's kid sister) found my oft-dormant Facebook page and wished me a happy birthday. I thought that was very sweet and thanked her. I thought that was it.

Jo is the relative I most resemble physically (as opposed to my two dark-haired, dark-eyed sisters) and she's my godmother. But my she and my dad clashed (he clashed with just about everyone) and mother always thought she was a spoiled brat (an opinion solidified before I was born), so we were never very close. Plus, she and my older sister had quite the knock-down/drag-out over my grandmother's will. So I was glad that bears me no ill will. So there you go.

Except that now my kid sister is on Facebook. And published a photo of me, which I wanted to see because, well, anyone with internet access can get to those photos if they're talented enough and I like knowing what's out there. The photo is fine -- but there's a meow-y comment to my sister from my aunt, hoping my kid sister will stay in touch because "your sister's not too communicative, at least not with me."

Now, for reasons too complicated and wacky to comprehend, my kid sister is always alternately pissed at or jealous of me. And I guess it's my fault that my Aunt Jo doesn't really care about my sister or her family and is just using them to communicate with me.

So I exchanged some really meaningless messages with my Aunt Jo (it occurs to me she might have photos of my grandpa, whom I loved very much, so I don't want to tell her "gee, thanks alot" or "go screw yourself") and wonder how I got into this gene pool.

I mean, just by sitting here, minding my own business, I manage to provoke two family members. I'm trying to consider it a gift.

Clean Me for Monday

Every day I am going to do something -- no matter how small -- to improve my standard of living at home.

I did manage to be clean last night before I went to sleep. I sorted the mail, putting a week's worth receipts in their proper folder. It felt good.

Can't we just stick him in a cage at Lincoln Park Zoo?

I've been in therapy longer than anyone except, possibly, Woody Allen. I have great sympathy for others who are struggling. But Carlos Zambrano is just a fuckin' hot headed bully, and this deal is the work of a very good agent.


Zambrano to go on restricted list

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By Bruce Levine
ESPNChicago.com

CHICAGO -- After consulting with Major League Baseball, the players union and the agent for pitcher Carlos Zambrano, the Chicago Cubs announced on Monday a collective agreement between all parties that will allow Zambrano to be removed from the suspended list and placed on the restricted list on Tuesday.

The Cubs don't anticipate Zambrano being activated until after the All-Star break at the earliest. Cubs general manager Jim Hendry said Monday that Zambrano and his agent have not asked for the right-hander to be traded or released by the team.

Zambrano has been suspended by the team since Friday, when he threw a tirade in the dugout that led to a verbal confrontation with teammate Derrick Lee. Beginning Tuesday, Zambrano will be paid and has agreed to go through a treatment program that will have him away from the team until at least July 15 -- when the Cubs host the Phillies after the All-Star break. The groups collectively agreed to find independent doctors to evaluate Zambrano and provide treatment following the evaluation. During this evaluation period, and during any type of therapy, Zambrano will not have any contact with his Cubs teammates.

Zambrano had contact with Hendry on Monday and was remorseful about his dugout tirade at U.S. Cellular Field. Manager Lou Piniella has stated that Zambrano will go into the bullpen when he returns to the 25-man roster. Once Zambrano is moved to the restricted list, Jeff Stevens be called up to fill his roster spot. Zambrano surrendered four runs to the Chicago White Sox in the top of the first, then began screaming in the dugout, knocking over a Gatorade cooler before getting in the face of Lee. Piniella then sent Zambrano home, and Hendry suspended him indefinitely.

Bruce Levine covers baseball for ESPN 1000 and ESPNChicago.com. Information from The Associated Press contributed to this report.

We're friends, too

Just when I was about to sign off Facebook forever,* I was friended by my niece, who just opened an account. What's more, I represent her first friend request. Not bad for an old fart, huh?



*Long story, to be shared at some point soon

Twin Spin Redux

Just as like last Tuesday, I was happy to see both Molly the Cat and "my" homeless man at lunchtime today.

I'm happy to report that Molly's coat is in fine condition and she even let me look at her paws as I pet her and they look clean. Her male person was with her today, and he always reassures me she eats before he does. I believe it. For her to be as calm, clean and healthy as she appears is a miracle. (She allows me to pet her, but she really perks up when she spots a pigeon.) He had a fresh haircut, and Molly's female person was nowhere in sight, so I suspect she's working somewhere and he's prepared for interviews. I have a feeling the day will come when I won't see them at all anymore, but that won't be cause for concern because I predict Molly's people will, like cats, land on their feet.

As for "my" McDonald's Man, well he remembers me again, which is nice. He actually pumped his fist when he saw me approach and, once again, thanked me and told me my "blessings will not soon be forgotten." How do you explain a man with cataracts, who lives in front of a McDonald's, who is so gracious and pleased with 35¢? The "blessings" he has reminded me to appreciate will not soon be forgotten, either.