Holidailies -- Day 21

Today's prompt: Today is the winter solstice. What do you do to mark the occasion?

Well, I'm getting my last hair cut and color of the year. Does that count?

The Last Meeting of the Year

Thursday we had a meeting at our client's downstate offices. I presented six (count 'em! 6!) pieces of proposed creative. As expected, they chose two for April 2014. They seemed very enthusiastic about one and pleased (enough) with the other, so I think it went well.

Presenting on December 19 is never ideal. Everyone's head is more into Christmas than into work. That my client's chairman gave his annual holiday address in the building atrium right before my meeting just emphasized this.

Also, my boss had just given his own presentation -- which used up a ton of our resources and left me with the leftovers for mine -- on Monday. And it didn't go especially well. So I felt a bit as though I started behind the eightball. This added to the pre-meeting stress, but made it the mostly positive reception more satisfying.

I went down on Amtrak but came home in the car with my account team. The Chocolate Covered Spider drove. She told us all about her fractious family and how difficult her childhood was with an older half-sister who began partying and got pregnant very young. I'm glad to have heard these tales. They make Spidey's control issues more understandable. She's still always got to be "the good sister." Knowing this will probably make it easier for me to deal with her in the future.

Of course there's more. There's ALWAYS more.

My late mother's home sold at auction on December 9, so I thought the hassles about her reverse mortgage had to be over. I created a spreadsheet that cataloged the assets and debits, made copies of each receipt listed, carefully composed a cover letter and sent a packet off to each of my sisters -- first class mail and tracking. My heinous older sister's packet includes a check. (Of the $14000+ that was required to handle my mother's final expenses, she contributed $1000. Of that, she's getting $333.49 back.) According to USPS's tracking service, the package was delivered to Ms. Heinous at 3 PM today. So I should be able to sit back and say to myself, "Yea! It's finally over!" More than a year after her death, I can now think of my mother exclusively as my mother, and not as a legal entity, right?

Not right.

I got a notice from the IRS, saying that I owe $537 on the MetLife stock I deposited into my checking account when we collected on our mother's life insurance at the end of 2012. I'm not sure I do owe it -- in the past, whenever I have heard from the IRS, it has turned out that they were wrong and my accountant was right and it was resolved amicably and in my favor. But it has never been resolved quickly, and the IRS insists they need to hear from me by January 8. With the holidays, I didn't even bother to call my accountant, I just cut the check. According to the paperwork, I can always appeal it in the future.

The impossible part would be squeezing another penny out of my heinous older sister. If I do owe the $537, $179 is her fair share of the tax liability. Yeah, right. Life "fair share" has ever meant anything to her.

I have given up hope that this will EVER be over.

Holidailies -- Day 20

Today's prompt: Share your holiday crafting skills.

 

Well, there are my fabulous Christmas cookies, made with a great deal of love for my best friend. I was endlessly proud of them. It took several batches, but I finally got a dozen cookies that were absolutely perfect.

 

 

That Went Well

Yesterday's internal review, that is.

I had been dreading it. The meeting we're having with the client tomorrow is important, but the topic is completely within my wheelhouse and under any other circumstances I'd be enthusiastic about it.

But we're working with the Chocolate Covered Spider, and she likes to get all in my grill and change things not to improve them, but to bring me to heel.

I warned my boss that she just cannot do it this time. The team has been too busy on too many things and we simply do not have the resources to redo everything on Tuesday for a Thursday meeting. He promised to talk to her beforehand, and to attend the meeting himself.

He was as good as his word. He doesn't usually have my back, but this time I think he did.

Image courtesy of Ambro/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Holidailies -- Day 18

Today's prompt: Do you prefer your holidays to be white, or would you rather spend them basking in the sun? 

 

I'm spending Christmas this year -- and probably from now on -- in the Keys, so no more white Christmases for me. The notion makes me a little sad. Though I'm appreciating the snow we've received in the run-up to Christmas, which is helping me get in the spirit.

Holidailies -- Day 17

Today's prompt: Elf on a Shelf - adorable childhood tradition, or creepy stalker?

I admit I had no idea how popular this fellow was until just recently, when he made the front page of the venerable Chicago Tribune! (The Trib usually saves the front page for serious stories, or Da Bears.)

I don't see how Elf on a Shelf is any creepier than Santa. I mean, he sees us when we're sleeping and knows when we're awake and knows if we've been bad or good. And he keeps a list! Not only that, he teaches us that the reason to be good is not that being good is right, it's that being good is rewarded with stuff.

I don't mean to be coming down on Santa. I'm a big fan of the big guy! I just don't see how Elf on a Shelf is fundamentally different than his boss.

Moody, icky Gal

I'm not feeling very Christmas-y right now.

I squeezed in a day off and spent it on the futon with tummy trouble. Really, all I did today was sleep and ... er ... um ... never mind. Now it's 8:30 and my stomach is better and I'm freaking STARVING!

Then there's family. It's a loaded issue for me and I admit it's getting me down. With our mother's house sold, it's time for me to settle up with my older sister. I worked on the spreadsheet of debits and credits and organized receipts and wrote and rewrote the cover letter. Now that the dust's settled, she's getting about $350 of her $1000 back. (Yes, she pitched in $1000 to my $12000.) My mother had nothing, left us nothing, and my older sister has done nothing to help with the resolution of her final affairs. I don't know why I'm so nervous about closing the book on this. Even if I've done something wrong, we're talking about a discrepancy of hundreds, not thousands, of dollars. I just want this over and behind me! I've been too nervous about this for too long and I want to be rid of this stress. I just hope my older sister cashes the check without argument so we can move on.

And I'm upset about my oldest friend's family, as well. An only child who lost both her parents, she moved 2000 miles to California to be near her only living relative, her cousin Sharon. And yet Sharon hasn't been very supportive to my friend at all. Sharon "postponed" celebrating my friend's 12/11 birthday into a combination dinner with Christmas on 12/21. Yes, Sharon's spending Christmas with her husband's family and my friend's not invited. (My friend will be spending Christmas with her children -- but they're part of why she needs support from Sharon.) This is the tip of the iceberg. I could do a whole post about the problems and critical junctures Sharon wasn't there for over the last three years.

And there's my best friend. He's very close to his young nephew. The kid is 10 this year. When his sister/brother-in-law divorced, my friend ended up spending a lot of time with the boy. Well, now his sister-in-law is involved with a new man and she wants her son to start new traditions with his "new family." My best friend misses the boy profoundly, especially now that his own daughters are both growing up and don't exhibit that childlike delight on Christmas morning anymore.

So I'm sad that the Norman Rockwell ideal isn't alive and well in my heart and in the households of so many of those closest to me. (Including me.)

Holidailies -- Day 16

Today's prompt: What is something you did / experienced for the very first time this year?

 

This is the first year that I haven't waited, not even for one minute, in line at the post office. I bought my poinsettia stamps and mailed my first gifts from The UPS Store. My second round of gifts were sent from the post office, but I used that self-service kiosk. I have to go to the post office today to put my mail on vacation hold, but hopefully that won't be too painful.

 

It's too bad that my trips to the post office have been marked by inefficiency and (worse) rudeness. But the upside is that The UPS Store is usually open and offers may of the same services.

 

Holidailies -- Day 15

Today's prompt: What do you miss most from your childhood holidays, now that you are an adult?

 

The wonder and anticipation and delight that come from truly believing in Santa. How did he know? How did he manage to get it to me? Miraculous!

 

 

Sunday Stealing

The Blerp Meme

When you get a headache do you take painkillers right away or try to wait it out?  I take painkillers right away because if I get the naproxen dose right, I can avoid a migraine. And migraines are soul crushing.

 Is there a really funny YouTube video you’d like to recommend to me?  No. Sorry.

Did you watch Sesame Street when you were little?  Yes. I can still pronounce the entire alphabet as a word, courtesy of Big Bird.

What’s the last thing you touched, other than your computer?
  Bottle of ginger ale.

When was the last time you talked to your best friend?
  It's been a while.

How often do you listen to music?
  Every day.

What color is your cell phone?  Silver and navy.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you drank? The aforementioned ginger ale

Do you like to wear sweatpants?  Not especially. Though I wore them Saturday. They're unfashionably short with my boots and consequently worked well in the snow.

What song are you currently listening to? Who sings it?  A lot of carols. I'm listening to Michael Buble a lot this season. Especially "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)."

Have you ever gotten a black eye? No. I have suffered a fat lip a couple times, but no black eyes.

What caused it?  No black eyes. I'm sorry.

How many times have you checked up on your ex?  I have one that I cyber snoop on periodically. He is a good man and I hope his life is happy.

If you had to get a tattoo what would it be?  Hmmmm .... I don't think I want one at all.

How many tabs are open right now?  Four

Are you scared of needles?  No.

Do you believe love can last forever?  Yes

Are good-byes easy or hard for you?  Depends on the situation

Would you rather sing or dance?  Neither, but thank you for offering.

Feeling Fortunate

My friend in the Keys sent me a photo of "our" Christmas tree, the one I'll be celebrating around on December 25. It was a thoughtful gesture. While I've rung in more than a dozen New Years with them, this is our first Christmas together and it was very sensitive of him to go out of his way to make me feel welcome.

When I was a kid, I watched As the World Turns with my mom. The characters at the center of the soap, the Hughes family, always had everyone in Oakdale over for Christmas dinner. I realize now it was a plot device so the writers could update us a long list of characters in short order. But as a child, I thought having a Christmas like that would be cool. Our family Christmases were all so full of tension. The Hughes dinner table was filled with a variety of happy people from all walks of life, laughing and enjoying one another.

In a way, that's the Christmas tradition I find myself building now, for the last decades of my life. It makes me happy.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Jingle Bell Rock

1) Sam has affection for this song because, when she was very young, she tap-danced to it for a Christmas recital. Her parents told her she was wonderful. Do you have any memories from a school/church program or pageant -- either as a child onstage or an adult in the audience? I have no memory of this, but my parents and uncle teased me about it for years afterward: For a Sunday School Christmas recital, I wore a white choir robe with black collar and looked quite angelic. First the little girls in our class sang a song, then we were told to "smile quietly" while the boys sang their carol. I did just that … after hiking my choir robe way up and sitting down, "Indian style." Hey! My teacher should have told us to "continue standing and smile quietly."

2) Ok, she admits it: After too many cups of holiday cheer, Sam did a few steps of her "Jingle Bell Rock" routine at last year's company Christmas party. Have you ever done anything at a coworker gettogether that you now regret? Yes. That's part of why I don't go to company parties any more.

3) Since that unfortunate Christmas 2012 incident, Sam can't even look at a cup of egg nog. How about you? Do you like egg nog? I prefer the spiked to the virgin.

4) For special events, Sam slips on her favorite piece of jewelry: a charm bracelet that once belonged to her grandmother. Do you have a special treasure from a previous generation? I have my favorite Grandpa's heavy ceramic jewelry box. A heavy ceramic cable car. I love it very much.

5) The only Christmas card Sam has received so far in 2013 is from her insurance agent. How about you? Have any holiday cards arrived yet? I have five: my cousin, a friend, a former neighbor who moved to AL, and two local charities I support (a childrens' home and animal shelter).

6) Because of the chill in the air, Sam gave her dog his Christmas gift -- a sweater -- early this year. He's already gotten compliments on it. Are there any pets on your gift list? Yes. But not my own. I'm spending Christmas with my friends in the Keys and I think I'll bring something along for their two dogs and very cranky cat. My young nephew is very into his family's pets (two cats and a turtle), so I'll have a little something for them, too. The only kiwi I buy all year is for that turtle.

7) Do you need snow to get "into the spirit?" It helps.

8) Are you going to get/have you gotten a flu shot this year? I intend to and I should. It's just with my allergies, I have to get the preservative-free formula and the local drugstore is often out of it.

Let's get her indoors!

9) December is an important fundraising month for charities. Here's your chance to plug a worthy cause that means a lot to you. As I write this, it's snowing outside and my cat, Joey, is snuggled against me, his old bones safe and dry and warm. On mornings like this, I realize that he wouldn't be alive now if not for the loving care of humans. Feral cats seldom make it past age 8 years old, and here's my darling Joe clocking in at 14! Which is all my long winded way of saying, go to Petfinder.com and support a local animal shelter. They need our support so they can rescue dogs and cats from the challenging winter weather!

Holidailies -- Day 14

Today's prompt: Write a letter to the person/company/group annoying you the most this holiday season:

 

Dear Fox News:

Shame on you for using the joyous event my Savior's birth to spread divisiveness.

Bill O'Reilly is big on the imaginary "War on Christmas," nurturing an Us vs. Them approach to the holiday season. Now your Megyn Kelly is insisting that both Jesus and Santa are white, and further insisting that making such proclamations is "funny."

I recognize that, coming from where He did, the likelihood that the blond, blue-eyed image of Jesus I grew up looking at is probably inaccurate. That makes no difference to how I worship. I feel sorry for Fox News talent and viewers whose faith is so shaky that this frightens them. And I feel worse for Fox News management for fueling the suspicion different races and religions have for one another, just for ratings.

 

As I recall from Sunday School, Jesus took a dim view of that sort of thing.

 

 

 

PS I'm glad Holidailies Grinch Week is over. I appreciate these prompts were interesting and different, but I want to get my Holiday Happy back on!

Holidailies -- Day 13

Today's prompt: Holiday pet peeve?

 

My kid sister won't commit to when we're celebrating the holiday until the last minute.

 

 

Happy news from a happy man

My friend Tom is a really good man, and that's why I'm happy to  report that, at dinner last night, I found him nothing but happy.

He's had a lot of drama in his life over the past 10 months -- let go by our agency in February, a pair of freelance jobs that were less than successful, and a job that was a terrible fit and resulted in another lay off. He's also gotten married and honeymooned in Bora Bora! And he's facing forward, looking to 2014 with loads of optimism.

This is one of the things I like best about the holidays -- we make time to see one another. Not email or text or even call, see one other. Share a drink and a hug.

Hakuna Matata

Got the good word from the hospital yesterday. My annual mammogram showed "no abnormalities." Yea!

Holidailies -- Day 12

Today's prompt: What beloved holiday TV show/movie/play just leaves you cold?

For the most part, I enjoy them all. There are two that -- while I don't HATE them -- I'll never watch them again. The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) is just too long and doesn't hold my interest. Ditto  The Bishop's Wife (1947) and the the 1996 remake, The Preacher's Wife.

Happy Birthday to Me -- Part 9

I believe this is the final salvo in The War to Preserve My Birthday. (If Fox can have a War on Christmas ...)

Dinner with my dear old friend Kathleen at a local eatery that served up the most awesome trout dinner. She filled me in on her fabulous kids and her interesting husband and her rather disappointing job. She looks wonderful and sounds, for the most part, happy if overworked. And she got me shea butter soap for my dry skin and a vintage (1976) LIFE magazine about the American woman. Thoughtful gifts, good grub and fun conversation. YES!

Holidailies -- Day 10

Today's prompt: Tell us about a holiday food tradition you just can't stand.

When I was a kid, Johnny Carson said this every year from behind The Tonight Show desk, "The worst gift is fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other." I also don't like its appearance. It looks fusty and the fruits seem to take on a strange color. And then there's the idea of consuming citrus peel. 

 

No, I don't care for it. Not at all.

Holidailies -- Day 9

Today's prompt: Which currently popular meme/trend do you just not get?

"The War on Christmas." It's stupid. Because there is no war on Christmas. Thank you.

A weekend of big emotions

This weekend marks the anniversary of both my mother's birth and John Lennon's murder. Tomorrow, my mom's house will be sold at a foreclosure auction.

I remain very sad and angry that John was murdered by a nut who got his hands on a handgun. In New York. When rock scholars point out that if John had stayed in London he might be alive today, I can only shake my head in sorrow and agree with them.

How my mom loved that stupid suburban ranch house! I think she'd be disappointed and embarrassed (my mom was always concerned with what "they" thought of her) that it's being sold at auction. And yet, she entered into the reverse mortgage knowing this was the likely outcome. I can't let myself feel guilty about the way this worked out. That would be infantalizing both of my parents. My dad was a terrible businessman and, true 1950s housewife she was, my mom blindly trusted his judgement. When he died, he left her nothing but debts. I took care of my mother's medical bills and insurance in life and her funeral in death. I can't let myself feel bad for the consequences of decisions they made as clear-eyed (but naive) adults.

And yet, with all this swirling around me, I'm not unhappy today. It's Christmastime, after all! And besides, I'm watching all the celebrations of Nelson Mandela's life. One child brought a picture he'd drawn for "Father." There seems to be easily as much dancing and singing as there are tears.

And that's how I feel about my mom right now. She's in Heaven, no longer besieged with worry about debt or what "they" think. That's something to celebrate!

Besides, like Mandela, my mother lived her entire life and died of natural causes. That's why I'm still pissed about John. Because while statistics tell us that gun violence in Chicago is down this year, it's still too prevalent, too ugly and too easily preventable.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

01. What is something that you have lost recently?: A brand new pair of earrings I bought myself! I'm just sick about it. They were less than $20, but still ... I told her at the register that I didn't need a bag, that I could put them with everything else I had purchased that day. And I think I accidentally threw them out. Dumb Gal!

02. Do you own any self-help books?: Sure.

03. Do you live near the sea or ocean?: Nope

04. Have you ever spent ages making/writing something on your computer when it suddenly crashed and you lost it all?: Nope. But that reminds me, I ought to back up to my thumb drive.

05. Do you enjoy food shopping?: Nope

06. What are you having for lunch?: I was thinking I might have a hotdog. I haven't had one in ages.

07. Are you one of those people who can sleep through anything?: Yes

08. Do you like love letters?: Of course.

09. Have you ever received or written one?: Not in a long time.

10. How far does your nearest relative live?: Approx. 20 miles

11. Do you like velvet?:  I have no strong feelings one way or the other

12. What kind of art do you like?: I suppose it's called "neo-expressionism." My favorite artist is Thomas McKnight. I first discovered him almost 20 years ago, when he was commissioned to do a couple of the Clinton's official White House Christmas cards. It's representative of my favorite works of his -- I love how he uses the view through the windows to help set the scene, and the little details he includes.

13. If you went to London, where would you go first?:  My hotel room. No, really. After a long flight, I'd have to decompress for a while before I could enjoy the city. I don't fly well.

14. If you had to pick one friend who is the most interesting, who would you pick?: I suppose John. He has tremendous personal charisma, and I'm not even sure he realizes it.

15. Can you think of the meanest thing you have ever done/said to someone?: Yes. I said something unforgivably cruel to a lover while we were breaking up. I am not proud of this, especially since he is a good man and deserved better.

16. What magazines do you read?: People and Entertainment Weekly and Allure and Glamour. And I receive O and Time. I just don't read them as often as I intend to.


17. What/who has been on your mind today?: Laundry. One of our dryers downstairs is broken. I'm wondering if it isn't worth it to just bite the bullet and haul my sorry fat ass through the cold to the laundromat and just get it all done and out of the way at once.

18. Would you be interested in ghost-hunting?: Nope.

Awesome, isn't he?

I made this rather lop-sided gentlemen with my own two hands!

Our classic film club screened Christmas in Connecticut, a 1945 screwball comedy starring Barbara Stanwyck as a magazine writer whose columns center around making a gracious home. (Think Martha Stewart.)

Beforehand, our host/moderator got us into the spirit by having us make these ornaments. It was a gas to sit there with a group of adults, doing a craft. I was touched by the effort he put into it and enjoyed myself, the camaraderie and the movie.

Holidailies -- Day 8

Today's prompt: What holiday tradition do you wish would just go away?

The company Christmas party. The company I work for goes all out -- closing the office for a half day, picking up the bill for a catered meal at a posh eatery, giving out a handful of expensive door prizes, serving up enough free booze to launch a dozen illicit coatroom affairs …

Meanwhile, we have only had two raises in the last 9 years. During that same time, we have had to sublet two floors of this office building and endured a succession of layoffs.


I'm not going. And I wish they'd banish the whole thing.

I'm not against celebrating the holidays in the workplace. I have decorated my office, I have cards and little ornaments for each of my coworkers, and am handling the collection for a special gift for our team admin.

Imagine all the money we would save if we just gave each employee one of those little half-turkeys that serves 4! Or the tax write-off if we gave all that money spent on the party to charity! They could let the employees suggest which worthy cause to support.