When is a Duck a real ass?

When Mad Men is on, that's when.

As one who works in the creative department of an advertising agency, I was bound to be leery of "Duck" Phillips, the head of account services at fictional Sterling Cooper. After all, regardless of the decade, account executives restrict and sit in judgment of the creatives. It's just a fact of life.

Oh, and Duck is not very handsome, whereas Don (sigh) Draper, chief creative officer at Sterling Cooper, is sooooooo hot. If more CCOs were like Don Draper, I'd figure out a way to get to work on time.

All that account/creative tension aside, last night Duck did something fabulously unforgivable. His soon-to-be ex-wife gives him permanent custody of the family's well-behaved, beautiful and loyal dog, Chauncey. Duck keeps the dog at his side at the office, presumably until he can find an apartment (he's staying in a hotel) and a dog walker. After a completely shitty day, Duck is alone at the office, just him at Chauncey, and he finds himself tempted to jump off the wagon and have a drink. The only thing that stopped him was the sound of Chauncey's panting and those soulful canine eyes. Duck looks down at the one living being who depends on him and takes action. As the official website states in the recap: "Although he resists the temptation, he intentionally abandons his dog on the sidewalk outside the office."

He dumps the dog -- who has done nothing but love him -- after dark in the middle of Madison Avenue. Bastard. Asshole. Low-life worm.

That was awful, even for an account exec.