These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Isn't it great when something turns out better than you expected? That was last night with my friend John and his friend Michael. We ate and ate and ate at The Park Grill in Millennium Park, a traditional turkey feast with potatoes and asparagus and cranberry compote. We laughed a lot, gossiped quite a bit, and Michael told me all about being stranded in New York after Hurricane Sandy. Then John gave me my birthday present -- a frame for photos of my mom and some candles.
I had been dreading Thanksgiving/birthday Day for quite some time. First holiday and first birthday without my mom. First holiday and first birthday without the old traditions. I wore my mother's diamond-chip cocktail ring last night to feel like she was with me.
Last night there was nothing but acceptance and comfort and fun. I know that's what you're supposed to feel when you're with your family, but I seldom have. John and Michael gave me a welcoming evening, and that's something to be very thankful for!
I'm thankful that Kwizgiver so generously lets me swipe her material.
1. Are you celebrating Thanksgiving at home or elsewhere this year? With whom will you spend Thanksgiving Day? This is my first Thanksgiving without my mom, and to make it more awful, it's also my birthday. So I am very grateful for my friend, John. Two months ago, right after my mom died, he said that instead of sending flowers or showing up for the service, he promised I would never, ever be alone for Thanksgiving or my birthday as long as we both shall live. It was lovely to not have worry about today, to have it settled way in advance. Anyway, this evening, we're getting dressed up and having a traditional turkey dinner at the Millennium Park Grill on Michigan Avenue. It's a beautiful spot.
2. What do you have for breakfast on Thanksgiving? I see cereal in my future.
3. Do you go to a Thanksgiving parade or watch one on TV? No, but I am watching the NCIS marathon on USA Network. I am thankful for Mark Harmon's blue eyes. And how frankly he acts his age! Just now he told a bad guy who was bossing him at gunpoint to lower his voice because, "Old doesn't mean deaf."
4. Do you serve appetizers, lunch, or snacks during the day? I'm going to try eat responsibly today and save my porking out for the restaurant.
5. What do you wear on Thanksgiving? I'm dressing like a big girl, which means no jeans and real shoes, not tennies.
6. What's your Thanksgiving table like -- do you use special
plates/silver/glasses, etc? Do you have a centerpiece? A color scheme?
Candles? Haven't seen it yet.
7. Do you serve buffet-style or family-style? What do you have to drink? No buffet, we're ordering off the menu. And, since it's me and John, alcohol will be imbibed.
8. Once you're at the table, do you say grace or a toast or does everyone go around and say what they're thankful for? Since it's ThanksBirthday, as John calls it, he better make a toast!
9. Do you have dessert right after the main meal or later on? Right there on the spot.
10. What do you do with your leftovers? We'll see.
Since
Thursday is Thanksgiving, let me give thanks for film, kinescopes and
videotape. Without the magic of media, I couldn't be as familiar with
Groucho Marx. What a loss that would be, because everything about the
man cracks me up. His silly, painted-on mustache. The stooped walk. His
wonderful, goofy songs (Lydia the Tattooed Lady, Hello I Must Be Going,
Hooray for Captain Spaulding). His timing and delivery. Even the names
of his movie characters: Hugo Z. Hackenbush, Rufus T. Firefly, Otis B.
Driftwood.
Here are 13 of his quotes. As you read these lines, imagine them spoken as only Groucho could.
1. If you want to see a comic strip, watch me take a shower.
2. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
3. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read anyway.
4. Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. And how he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
5. Don’t gulp that poison! It’s $4 a bottle!
6. Any man who can see through women is missing a lot.
7. I don’t want to belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member.
8.
I have here an accident policy that will absolutely protect you no
matter what happens. If you lose a leg, we'll help you look for it.
9. I intend to live forever or die trying.
10. I’ve known and respected your husband for many years – and if you’re good enough for him, you’re good enough for me!
11. Here’s to our wives and our girlfriends … May they never meet!
12. I could dance with you until the cows came home. On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows until you came home.
PS One of the benefits of blogging forever is that this TT is actually five years old, originally posted as my Thursday Thirteen #42 in November, 2007. But it's still funny, and I'm still grateful for Groucho.
I want my neighbors to not be so weird. Their little dog barks all day long, and this is a "no dogs allowed" building. It upsets me not because the noise bothers me. I like dogs. It bothers me because it's so freaking irresponsible. Someone who is not me is going to complain and that poor pup will end up in a shelter, I just know it.
And their teenage son! He smokes sickeningly sweet cigars all up and down the hallway. And today he was actually -- get this -- cutting hair in the hall. He had a swivel chair and and electric clippers and everything. Why he was doing this in the hall and not in their condo, I don't know. I was too shocked to ask.
The ones I really feel sorry for* are my neighbors on the other side. They are trying to sell their unit. I don't imagine many people will leap at living in a building with a smoky salon in the hallway.
Just to bring y'all back up to date -- I haven't been blogging about what's really going on inside of me because it hurts.
My grief over my mother's death has caught up with me. I was really pretty OK immediately after it happened. I know to those who don't share my faith my initial reaction may not make sense to you, but I was actually relieved and happy for my mom. She had lived in fear since her first attack of ischemic colitis last March. She was in such pain and misery during her last hospital stay, just before her death in September. I was grateful her suffering was over and comforted by the thought of her healthy, happy and whole in Heaven.
My faith got me through the worst of it. And so, in a way, did my own fear. The bills she left were daunting, and as the responsible party I was stuck muddling through the legal and fiscal mess.
But now the estate paperwork is coming together. The shock of passing and the relief of her ascension have morphed into being facts of my life. And I'm left with missing her.
And knowing that this is a new chapter of my life. One without the traditions I grew up with. And that's OK, since many of the family traditions I grew up with left me unhappy. But they are what I knew. They weren't comfortable but they were familiar.
So I have been sporadically miserable.
I shared this with my best friend, especially the scary emotions triggered by merely purchasing hangers. I realized not only the depth of my grief, but also how unstable my life feels right now.
Guess what he sent me in the mail. Yes, a box of padded "huggable hangers," just like the ones my mommy bought me for my birthday in years gone by. And there was a lovely card included. The longest handwritten note I have ever received from him in 8 years of almost constant contact. He promises to be here for me now, months after the event, because now is when I'll need him because everyone else thinks I've moved on. But he knows better. When his beloved grandmother died, twenty years ago, he was left in charge because his mother was too grief stricken and his siblings didn't even think to "step up." So he knows the routine -- the distractions of friendly, helpful phone calls and notes and dealings with wills and estates eventually give way to the humdrum reality of loss. Day in, day out loss.
It was a wise gesture. The kind of thing he excels at. He has always had a way of getting through to me with the right message at the right time.
I only wish he was happier in his own life, in his own skin. But that's a post for another day. Writing this left me weary!
One of my coworkers took me to lunch at Ada's, one of my favorite restaurants. I had the salmon omelet and wheat toast. Then she bought me a pair of tiny cupcakes for dessert. I was very glad that she remembered and fussed over me.
I spent the weekend in Southern California, celebrating my birthday with my oldest friend. Here you see my new pedi enjoying the Pacific Ocean. It was so amazing to me that one day I wake up in chilly, autumnal Chicago and the next day I'm in LA. If I live to be 100, I'll never be casual about the wonder of air travel.
I told my friend -- whose life is getting all dramatic again -- that I only have two things on my weekend "to do" list: get a fresh pedi and see the Lincoln movie. Of course those are two things I could do here at home, but I couldn't do them in the sun and I couldn't do them with her. I tried to make the weekend as stress free and fun for her as for me.
My hotel -- I didn't want her to worry about cleaning her apartment for me, plus her kids aren't always easy to be around -- was in a convenient location and was affordable ("affordable" was key for this trip as it wasn't budgeted and I'm crawling out from under my expenses related to my mother's estate). It was also kind of a dump. But it was clean and quiet and I was able to get a lot of sleep.
Saturday was rainy so we spent the day getting this pedi and going to see the exceptional Lincoln movie. She and I are big Abe-o-philes, having visited his home in Springfield together several times. So seeing the movie together made it more special. We had dinner together at a small Italian restaurant, a neighborhood place I discovered during my morning walk. It was charming. (I did have tummy trouble both mornings I woke up in Los Angeles. Don't know if it was the water or the sudden change in my diet -- I admit to a dearth of vegetables.)
Sunday we went shopping in a sunny, outdoor mall in Santa Monica. Christmas decorations and palm trees -- I know it from my annual holiday trips to Key West, but I'll never get used to it. Discovered two stores we don't have here -- Fresh and Lush. It was great fun to play among the lotions and potions.
Then we had drinks at Casa Del Mar in Santa Monica. It was gorgeous! Ocean view, mountains, sand and the amusement park rides from Santa Monica Pier. Then I insisted on going into the water. My friend has gone soft -- she deemed 65ยบ "too cold." But it was beautiful and fun and memorable.
Then we went back to her place for pizza. I showed her the disc my niece made containing photos of my mom throughout her life. My oldest friend grew up in the apartment building behind our house and knew my mom well, so it was poignant but meaningful to share the memories with her. Then she showed me a framed photo she had of her parents, taken before they were married, looking so young and hopeful. It was sad to realize that, between us, we were now 0/4 in the parent department. We are now adults, aren't we?
I boarded a plane at 11:50 PM Sunday night and was back at O'Hare by 5:50 AM Monday morning. Amazing!
1) "Live and Let Die" was nominated for an Oscar as best song. Do you have a favorite movie song? Oh, so many! But the first that comes to mind is "Somebody's Baby," the Jackson Browne song from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
2) The latest Bond movie, Skyfall, is crazy successful. Have you seen it/do you want to see it? This may be the first Bond movie I pay to see and watch, start to finish. It has gotten fabulous reviews. 3) What do you think makes Bond movies so enduringly popular? Sex and danger, I guess. I really don't know. I'm not much of a fan. But I know so many people who love the series. 4) Do you have a favorite among the actors who have played "Bond, James Bond?" Again, I'm not really much of a fan. But definitely not Roger Moore. He always seemed too old, and it looked like elder abuse, seeing him dangling from a cord from a plane or whatever derring do was being done.
5) Bond orders martinis -- "shaken, not stirred." What's your regular drink order? Well, I just had a light beer, and it hit the spot. Maybe because it was free. I'm at LAX as I write this, in the Admiral's Lounge for the first time, trying not to lather myself up into hysteria over my upcoming flight.
6) Moving from the bar to breakfast -- do you have a favorite cereal? It changes. Right now the lucky brand is Honey Bunches of Oats.
7) Let's daydream about warm weather. Would you rather swim in a lake, the ocean, or an outdoor pool? Pool. I like having a bathroom nearby and a safe place to stow my stuff. (I always have lots of stuff.) 8) Did you get 8 hours' sleep last night? Yes! And it was blissful! I'm away from home right now -- visiting my oldest friend in LA -- and I have to admit I didn't miss my little demon cat Reynaldo eating my hair or howling at the light fixtures or turning the lights on and off or .... 9) What are you wearing on your feet right now? Socks and tennies.
Wednesday night my friend Barb was going to treat me to a special birthday dinner before we saw Sister Act at the Auditorium. She chose the restaurant -- Trattoria No. 10 -- and made the reservation for 6:15. That would give us an hour to eat because the curtain is at 7:30.
She was 20 minutes late. She forgot my birthday present. We didn't make the curtain.
At first I was very hurt by this.
But then I got over myself.
First of all, it was really kind of nice to not be rushed. Instead of being out of there by 7:15, we were done dining a little after 9:00. I even had time to enjoy a fabulous apple crostata for dessert.
Secondly, for all that she can be thoughtless in some areas, she has proven herself a true friend in others. The most sophisticated of my friends, she never leaves the city limits unless absolutely forced to. And yet she drove the half hour to my mom's visitation and service and stayed for hours, even though at that point none of our mutual friends were there yet. She also made a generous contribution to my mother's favorite animal shelter in her memory. And Barb and my mom had never met.
And, last month, when I was freaking out about the funeral costs and afraid I'd lose my job, Barb made it clear that she will never let me starve. And she reiterated that Wednesday night: I can always get freelance assignments from her. She cares about me as a friend and respects me as a writer and if ever find myself unemployed again, she will use her clout to get me work. That's very comforting.
So I didn't get my gift and I missed a play that I didn't much care about seeing anyway.
But I had a delicious dinner (pumpkin ravioli) and warm conversation with a friend who cares about me and is there when it counts.
These are my favorites. I didn't include any TV cops because they seemed like a slightly different category (and one I may need for another TT some day). Therefore, because Castle is about a cop/private citizen pair, yummy Nathan Fillion doesn't qualify. Alas.
1) DAVID ADDISON -- Moonlighting. I have always loved Bruce Willis very much, and never more than in his only TV series. His mystery-solving skills are completely irrelevant to my enjoyment of the show.
2) THOMAS MAGNUM -- Magnum, PI. Tom Selleck was so completely charming as Thomas Sullivan Magnum. He was also very good on Friends as Dr. Richard Burke. If he were to ask me, I'd tell him to skip the drama and stay with comedy. (If you see happen to run into him, tell him that's the Gal's career advice.)
3) JIM ROCKFORD -- The Rockford Files. I love how grumpy Rockford is. James Garner may have had matinee idol looks, but he has the attitude of an old man who'd tell you to get off his lawn.
4) PERRY MASON -- Perry Mason. I didn't watch this show as a child because the theme music frightened me. (Check it out below.) However now I go out of my way to catch it whenever I'm home sick. I love how willing Perry is to almost break the law and taunt the prosecutor. Slightly overweight, well-heeled and always in a suit, he doesn't look like a rebel, but he really was one.
5) ARCHIE GOODWIN -- Nero Wolfe. Orchid-loving gourmand Wolfe may have been the brains of the organization, but Archie (as played by Timothy Hutton) was the legs and the brawn. Streetwise, born to wear a fedora, and with a weakness for a well-turned ankle.
6) ADRIAN MONK -- Monk. Yes, his idiosyncrasies and attention to detail were fun to watch. But I loved the sad subtext, how much Mr. Monk still loved and mourned his late wife, Trudy.
7) ELLERY QUEEN -- Ellery Queen. Like Nero Wolfe, this series is of a specific time. And like Nero Wolfe, it starred a Hutton, this time Timothy's father, Jim. This show was goofy and sweet and deserved a longer run than it had.
8) REMINGTON STEELE -- Remington Steele. I just discovered this show and am belatedly in love with Young Pierce Brosnan. I love how willing he is to make a fool of himself. Remington is really a very bad detective. I'm also loving how Remington and Laura never go beyond necking. I'm not sure why really, but it's romantic nevertheless.
9) BEN MATLOCK -- Matlock. It's a kinda dumb show, but I'm a sucker for Andy Griffith.
10) SPENSER -- Spenser, For Hire. I'm a huge fan of the Spenser books and have a hard time separating the screen characters from the original ones on the page. Robert Urich is too good looking to be Spenser, Barbara Stock seems more like a Baywatch Babe than Harvard-trained psychiatrist Susan, Carolyn McCormick isn't slutty enough to be Rita ... you get the idea. But watched on its own merits, it's a good show. Taut plots and terrific Boston scenery.
11) SHAWN SPENCER -- Psych. James Roday is so good with the fast patter, he's nearly as charming as David Addison. I enjoy the show, too. Am I the only one who has noticed how many really entertaining shows are on USA network?
12) BATMAN -- Batman. No, really! He was so smart and earnest and good and true. Forget Christian Bale, Michael Keaton, George Clooney, et al. There's only one real Batman, Adam West!
13) JESSICA FLETCHER -- Murder, She Wrote. Ok, this show kinda sucks. But I love a plucky middle aged writer indulging in derring-do. And I don't she ever fired a gun. I admire that.
I want more of that. My best friend called me today. Actually spoke to me in real time. He knew from recent emails that I'm unraveling a bit and he called to shore me up.
I know that he really can't call me as often as once did. But that doesn't stop me from missing those good old days. He's so reasonable and comforting when concentrating on my life. And, as he deals with the unpleasant reality of unemployment during the Recession, I like to think I can be supportive of him.
Oh, well. It is what it is. I'm just grateful he so reliably lifts my spirits and that I feel better today.
Greetings from Estate Land! It feels like I live here, digging my way through papers and policies and deeds, etc. I am very tired of this, but there is progress to report. Snoopy came through! I received a check for $5,600 from MetLife from policies my grandmother and dad took out on my mother back in the late 1940s and mid 1950s. It took a lot of phone calls, letters, and even some yelling, but the check was deposited into my account this morning. Hopefully another check is on the way for the sale of MetLife stocks. Keep your fingers crossed. This money could help me dig out from under the debt my mom's service left me with. We should be out of the house soon. My kid sister believes she's on track to have everything personal/unsellable out of my mom's place so an estate sale can be held and we can be done with all of that portion of the program by 12/31. I know this is hard for her, and I'm sorry. But it has to be done and I can't wait for it to be behind us. It may be time to switch lawyers. My lawyer has been very generous in giving me advice but he's reluctant to take the reins. Frankly he handles estates much larger than my mother's (let's face it -- all she left was debt) and he tells me I can't afford to have him represent me, making calls or appearing in court. These are all things I can do pro se, he says, saving myself money. But I don't wanna! And not just because I find addressing the court daunting. I'm scared that I will put a foot wrong and cost my sisters and me money. So before the end of the year, I think I'm going to have to go lawyer shopping.
My mother liked to buy me hangers. Specifically padded "huggable hangers" she saw on HSN. She liked thinking of the shoulders of my cardigans looking natural, not pointy.
I need more hangers. I went to CVS and bought 10 plastic tubular ones for less than $5. I paid for them using a CVS giftcard we found among my mom's things -- a card I bought her originally but she died before she could use. So in a way, she bought me the tubular hangers, too.
But I don't want these tubular hangers. I want the "huggable hangers" my mommy chose for me.
It's predawn and I'm sad about hangers.
Sometimes I don't think I'm taking this as well as I like to think I am.
Some little girl is going to get this set of lip glosses from Santa. Because I picked it up at Kohl's today and will either put it in the toy drive bin in our office building or take it to a Toys for Tots drop off site. I also have a book, a Barbie, a Disney Princess puzzle and a Hot Wheel stunt set.
There's a joy that comes from doing this that makes me feel grateful and good. I encourage everyone to look into doing something similar. You will be glad you did!
84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you: I get up, I go to work, I come home, I am tormented by my cat, Reynaldo. I don't know why I don't just throw in the towel and admit he's smarter and tougher than I am. Don't let his sweet countenance fool you. He always wins in our battle of wills. 85. What is your greatest strength as a person? I am as tough as I need to be (except where Rey is concerned).
86. What is your greatest weakness? Complete and utter lack of discipline.
87. Are you going to run for President in 2016?
88. Are you generally self-contained? Yes, in that I'm independent. But I wish I was more opaque. My heart is on my sleeve.
89. Are you generally organized or messy? Messy, messy, messy.
90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at: GOOD -- writing, friendship, caring for critters; BAD -- organization, money management, self control
91. Do you like your neighbors? Do they like you? We smile and say "hi."
92. Are you different in public than you act among friends? Nope. I'm pretty much one size fits all.
93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? As Wilbur eulogized Charlotte, I want to be remembered as a good writer and a true friend.
94. Where do you see yourself in 4 years? In this spot on the sofa. Though I hope by then I'll have a new sofa.
95. If you could choose, how would you want to leave this world? Like my Grandma did. She laid down on her bed for a nap, read a few pages of a Louis L'Amour western to help her doze off, closed her eyes, and died. No sign of struggle. The book was still on her chest, the glasses on her nose. She was 85.
96. If you had only one week to live, what three things would be bumped up on the bucket list? How healthy am I? What am I still able to do? Need more info before I can answer.
97. What is one thing about you that really stands out? I have dimples. People seem to remember my smile because of the dimples.
98. What three words best describe your personality? Funny, loyal, imaginative.
99. What three words would others probably use to describe you? I hope the same three I gave in #98.
100. What advice do you have to give? In terms of office politics: "What people say isn't as important as what they do."
Thanksgiving is on Thursday, 11/22, so it's almost upon us! The economy is still tough, our neighbors are still struggling, and that big meal might be a strain on budgets already stretched too thin.
That's why I'm glad I took a small bag of canned goods -- including cranberry sauce! -- over to my local food pantry this morning. To find the pantry nearest you, click here.
Here's a little something new I learned as I navigate the shoals of my mother's estate: MSG = medallion signature guarantee. My local bank, Chase, guaranteed my signature on a document enabling me to take possession of my mother's 65 shares of Met Life stock. It should be worth about $2,000, and if I truly can access it, I come that much closer to closing out her affairs.
It will be two months ago on the 13th that we lost her. I still check my phone every time I come through the front door, hoping to see that she's called. But that will fade. I believe that eventually I'll have happy memories instead of this worry and sadness.
1) Do you come up with your brightest ideas early in the morning or late at night? In the morning, in the shower.
2) Are you more likely to feel romantic at night or in the morning? Whichever happens to be the least convenient.
3) Do you shower in the morning, after work or before bed? Morning
4) Billie Holiday was just 44 when she died. Is there an artist whose early demise surprised and saddened you?
John Lennon's murder broke my heart.
5) Billie was known as "Lady Day." Do you have a cool nickname? (If not, feel free to give yourself one right now.) No. But I like "Lady Day" and may just claim it as my own.
7) Crazy Sam is eating Trader Joe's Snickerdoodles as she composes this. What's the last snack food you ate? Chocolate Mochi. This Japanese ice cream treat is awesome! I just heard that the businesswoman and philanthropist who ran the Mochi ice cream manufacturer, Frances Hashimoto, died this week.
8) Do you worry about preserving endangered species? Or do you believe in survival of the fittest? Yes. I worry about the polar bears and the big cats. I hate the idea that future generations won't see them.
9) Would you ever hire a lawyer who runs commercials on TV? Do you know anyone who has? No. It's hard to take those TV lawyers seriously, isn't it?
I'm feeling very Presidential these days. So here are some little known facts about our last 13 Commanders in Chief. (Thanks to Kwizgiver for the inspiration.)
1) When Barack Obama was a student at Columbia University, his nickname was "Barry."
2) As a little boy, George W. Bush took the role of family "clown" to raise his parents' spirits after the death of his younger sister Robin, who passed away at the tender age of 4 of leukemia.
3) A passionate pop music fan, Bill Clinton named his daughter after his favorite record, "Chelsea Morning," a Joni Mitchell song recorded by Judy Collins.
4) Though he later developed a passion for foreign affairs, George Herbert Walker Bush earned a degree in economics from Yale.
5) Ronald Reagan referred to himself as "an indifferent student" until he discovered dramatics at Eureka College.
6) Jimmy Carter's mother, "Miz Lillian," defied racial segregation in Georgia in the 1920s by counseling African Americans regarding women's health.
7) A gifted athlete, Gerald Ford turned down offers from both the Detroit Lions and the Green Bay Packers.
8) Richard Nixon was very good at the piano and encouraged guests to sing along as he played.
9) While in college, Lyndon Johnson earned glowing references as a student teacher.
10) John Kennedy was the father of the last baby born to a sitting President, but Patrick Bouvier Kennedy lived only a few days and never made it to the White House.
11) At West Point, Dwight Eisenhower was reprimanded for smoking.
12) Harry Truman was a self conscious child who believed wearing glasses set him apart from his classmates.
13) Franklin Roosevelt passed the bar and practiced law briefly for a prestigious New York law firm, but he never enjoyed being an attorney.
Barack Obama's, that is. Here's a rather grainy photo of "my credentials," the ticket to get me into McCormick Place. It was an honor to be there. There was such a feeling of good will within the crowd!
Although if I may be blasphemous, I have had more fun at Election Night celebrations when the candidate isn't present. Because no candidate means less security, no secret service, and BOOZE. 20 years ago, the night Bill Clinton won the Presidency, he was in Little Rock and I was on Michigan Avenue in a "No More Bush" conga line.
I want relationships to be less complicated. I got into the official Obama celebration last night not because of my own volunteer efforts but because Kathy got two tickets -- as a result of her canvassing efforts in Iowa. And she chose me.
President Barack Obama stands with his family, first lady Michelle
Obama, left, daughter Sasha, 2nd from left, and Malia, right, after
taking the stage to give his acceptance speech at McCormick Place in
Chicago. — Brian Cassella, Chicago Tribune, Nov. 7, 2012
My most memorable
birthday was in the year 1963. It fell on a Friday. I was in first grade. My teacher's name was
Mrs. Kroch.
In honor of my special day, I got to pass out a carefully selected treat: milk chocolate discs individually wrapped in red and black foil so they looked like lady bugs.
My little celebration was interrupted by the loudspeaker. It wasn't our
principal, Miss McCann. It was a scratchy radio broadcast that I couldn't
understand. Mrs. Kroch seemed confused and upset and sent a classmate next door
to “see if it's true." We kids didn't know what "it" was.
I realize now that, at this point, no one knew JFK was dead, but he had been
shot. The teachers conferred in the hall and then we were all sent home – not just
for lunch but for the whole day. I don't remember what we were told, but what
amazes me about this decades later is that (1) we all walked to and from school,
no one got a ride, and (2) the school was confident that we each had a
stay-at-home mom who would be there waiting for us.
When I got home, my mom was sitting on the coffee table, staring at the TV and
crying. I remember that she was sitting on the table because we got scolded for
doing that. I think she wanted to be as close to the TV as possible.
By now everyone knew the President was
dead. My mom said she heard the news at the grocery store and was so upset she
just left her cart and came home. This was highly significant because it meant I
wouldn’t have a birthday cake! Remember, I was six. I barely knew who JFK was,
but I sure knew it was my birthday and I wanted cake.
Still, I'd never seen my mother cry like that before so I kept quiet. She was
scaring me. There was something very wrong in my world.
About the photo: Life Magazine makes a library of their archive images available for free to use for “non-commercial personal purposes."
That's 70 Iowans I have called as part of the President's GOTV effort. I did it for these reasons:
1) My late mother adored President Obama and really, really wanted him to win re-election
2) Bill Clinton is working for him, so why shouldn't I?
3) When the polls close tomorrow, I want to know I did what I could to protect my country
Does #3 sound a little over the top? The following is from the Think Progress website: 1) Romney supported the Blunt amendment. The Blunt Amendment would allow employers to deny contraception
to their female employees because of religious objections. That means
any woman working for an employer who didn’t support contraception would
be denied the right to have her birth control costs covered. When asked
if he supported the amendment, Romney said, “Of course.”
2) Romney wants to defund Planned Parenthood.Seventy six percent of the patients
who go to Planned Parenthood are seeking affordable contraception
options. Low-income women, particularly, rely on the organization to get
family planning options that might otherwise be out of their price
range. Because the organization uses a sliding scale pay system, it allows the poorest women to get the most affordable care.
3) Romney would restore co-pays for birth control. By repealing the Affordable Care Act, Romney would get rid of the requirement
that insurance companies offer women a variety of birth control options
without a co-pay attached. That makes it harder for women to get
contraception, especially the most effective kinds, which tend to have
the highest up-front costs.
4) Romney supports a ‘personhood amendment.’ Romney once told reporters that be would “absolutely”
support a state constitutional amendment defining a fertilized egg as a
person. Had it passed, that law would have outlawed some forms of
contraception — as well as all abortions and in vitro fertilization.
I am personally pro-life. I am personally conflicted about IVF. But these conclusions are the result of my faith, and I passionately support the separation of Church and State. I don't want to live in a theocracy, and I fear that's where Romney-Ryan would take us.
Please keep this in mind when you vote on Tuesday.
34. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? I was very much in love with a good man when I was in my mid-late 30's. It didn't work out. Loving him was very good for me as a person and I don't regret it, even though it wasn't right in the "forever" kinda way. And breaking up with him was defining because of the timing. I realized that he was my last crack at a conventional biological family of my own. I learned that simply wasn't in the cards for me, and that's alright, too.
35. What do you consider your greatest achievement? I am a strong person and, as Wilbur eulogized Charlotte in Charlotte's Web, I have become a good writer and a true friend.
36. What is your greatest regret? I wasted my 20s on a truly bad man.
37. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? I don't know that it's evil, exactly, but I have been known to yank the chains of RWNJs on Twitter. It's fun (although not especially nice) to press their buttons and watch them spin.
38. When was the time you were the most frightened? Autumn 2011, when I was waiting to hear if I had uterine cancer. I didn't. Thank God.
39. What is your best memory? I have many wonderful memories. I'm blessed that way.
Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions
40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic
41. What is your greatest fear? Being in a plane that crashes
42. What are your religious views? Jesus Christ is my Savior, and He inspires me to be a better person
43. State a random opinion? Ringo Starr and George Harrison are the luckiest men in the history of show business
44. What are your views on sex? I'm all for it
45. Are you able to cook? I can grill, boil and microwave. Does that count?
46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Destroy joy and innocence
47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? Yes. And I hope to find it someday.
48. What do you believe makes a successful life? The Gorey quote at right says it all: "Books. Cats. Life Is Good."
49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings? I strive to be honest with myself.
50. Do you have any biases or prejudices? I admit to an inflexible problem with authority.
51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? I refuse to wear animal fur. Nothing that comes from that much cruelty can possibly be beautiful.
52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? I don't know.
I did my grocery shopping, took my nephew to lunch, got my hair cut and colored. And the money budgeted for my weekend is gone.
So I will stop spending.
While I am sick of worrying about money, I'm sticking to my resolve this weekend. While I want to eat out, go shopping and go to the movies, I want to stop worrying about money more. And being a grown up is the only sensible course.
