Friday, May 06, 2011

Done in plenty of time


My best friend's birthday is next month and his gift is already complete! First I got him a pewter horse shoe during my trip to Colonial Williamsburg, and today his pewter pine cone arrived. Over the years I have given him a four-leaf clover, an acorn and a turtle for luck and he's been very good about carrying them with him. This year, to mark his landmark 45th birthday, I got him TWO more lucky charms.

I like it that he'll have more than my will and his good karma protecting him as he enters the second half of his life. Can't wait to get them into his hands!

A reason to smile

Not only did Sir Paul and Nancy Shevell announce their engagement, I got the best email almost immediately after the word hit the streets.

From my friend, John:

LOVE ME DO
Age appropriate and accomplished.
The only way the news could be better is if it was you.

Hurt

I was sick on Sunday night and Monday. Really sick. Sweats and nausea. Headache and cramps. It was vile.

And, since we are busy at work and I couldn't afford the time off, I went in at 3:00 and shepherded a project through for a Tuesday afternoon presentation, which I aced even though I was fortified only by saltines and gingerale.

I have felt better each day and my rapid recovery has lifted my spirits enormously. I'm not saying I'm a hero, but within the parameters of my life, this has been a big deal. A very big deal.

On Monday afternoon I felt weepy and called my oldest friend. She has worked with doctors for decades and has a medical background herself. I initially wanted to know if I should continue taking my prescription meds or if they would be too trying for my poor gut. When she didn't pick up, I left a long, rambling, weepy voicemail about how I don't care about anything or anyone anymore because I'm so sick and feel so lousy, and please call and tell me what to do about my meds.

That was Monday at about 3:00 (1:00 her time). I still haven't heard back from her. This hurts me.

I have worked very hard to be there for her and honor the decades we have known each other. I know she is struggling these days and my heart goes out to her. I just wish that, when my heart goes out to her, she'd be a little more gentle with it.

I don't know what to do. My instinct is to call and tell her how hurt I am, but I suspect she won't pick up and that really hurts more. She's not working, on physical therapy, and could certainly find some time to call me back. I'm also afraid that if I do that, I'll find out that something else is wrong. My oldest friend has that kind of life -- shit happens to her.

And then, somehow, the call about how hurt I am will turn around and become a call about how much more trouble she's having. Which will, in turn, hurt and frustrate me.

Oh, well. Maybe I just have to grow up. This is how she is, how she has been for years. I have to accept and love her as she is and try to get over all this, "I me me mine" that I'm spewing in this post.

(Ouch! I'm still not well enough to use the word "spew" without wincing.)

Image: Idea go / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Thursday Thirteen #122


JUST IN TIME FOR MOTHER'S DAY --
13 REASONABLY-PRICED FRAGRANCES

Mother's Day is this Sunday. According to Forbes, the average mother will receive gifts and cards worth $37.14 per kid this year. To help you select a gift for your own mom, here are 13 of the best-selling fragrances available at Target for less than $50.

1) Halle by Halle Berry

2) Miracle Forever by Lancome

3) Chloe

4) Casual by Paul Sebastian

5) Love & Glamor by Jennifer Lopez

7) Sung by Alfred Sung

8) Jessica McClintock

9) Nude by Bill Blass

10) White Diamonds by Elizabeth Taylor

11) Design by Paul Sebastian

12) Green Tea by Elizabeth Arden

13) Curve Crush by Liz Claiborne

PS While my own mom has a fondness for fragranced, moisturizing body lotions, she has enough in her bathroom and on her vanity to last her a good long time. So instead I got her a "brag bag," a canvas shopping tote, personalized with a photo of her grandsons.

To find out more about Thursday Thirteen, and maybe participate yourself, click here.

Go, Cubs, Go!

This 5-1 victory over the Dodgers was a real day-brightener. I enjoyed the last 2 1/2 hours very much. Thank you, gentleman. Have a safe flight back to Chicago.

What a difference a day (or two) makes

Yesterday felt better than Monday, and today I feel even better than yesterday. I hear/feel a bit of gurgling in my belly, but that could just be the Premium saltines on their natural journey. I'm going to add a banana and maybe some Fig Newtons to my water and ginger ale diet today.

It's amazing how happy such things can make you after a bout of food poisoning! Also, I haven't watched baseball in days. The Cubs have been in LA and the games just start soooooo late for this sick old fan. But today's is a day game! I'll have it on MLB.com while work.

"It's a beautiful day for a ball game, for a ball game, today/the fans are out to get a ticket or two/from Walla Walla, Washington to Kalamazaoo .."


Image: digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Monday, May 02, 2011

Never forget -- it's all about ME

Sunday night was spent on the bathroom floor, racked by nausea and cramps, vomiting and diarrhea. I'm pretty sure this nightmare was caused by an undercooked piece of chicken. After cleaning myself off and brushing my teeth over and over again, I retired to the sofa. I finally made it to work at about 3:00.

ANYWAY ... while all this was going on, I thought about the President. In a span of little more than 24 hours, he signed Bin Laden's death warrant, visited the tornado-ravaged South, and delivered a monologue at the White House Correspondents' Dinner.

I don't think he's allowed to get a bad piece of chicken. He has too much to do.

I'm too big a baby to be President.

Movie Monday -- All about Flight

Share on your blog films focused on flight, things that fly or become airborne, linking back here.

One of my favorite movies is a celebration of being airborne. I'm only sorry I couldn't find a good shot to represent "Let's Go Fly a Kite."









The Death of Bin Laden


Yes, I'm glad. The bastard killed thousands that tragic day (and who knows how many first-responders will continue to suffer as a result of his handiwork?) and terrorized the rest of us and was actually proud of his hateful carnage.

But I refuse to be jubilant. I cannot celebrate. We're better than that. The violent loss of life ennobles no one. In mourning those who died on 9/11, we sang this verse of "America, The Beautiful" in church. It bears repeating.


O beautiful for heroes proved In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved,
And mercy more than life!
America! America! May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness,
And ev'ry gain divine!

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "18 Questionable Questions" Meme
Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be? Betrayed me how? Cheated? Spilled my secrets? Raided my piggy bank?

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be? That this will be The Year.

3. What is the one thing most hated by you? Bullies.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars? Send my niece to school, set up a college fund for my nephew, take care of my mother, spread some of it around among local animal shelters. buy season tickets at Wrigley Field, quit my job, live in a high-rise with a great view and a doorman ... Sigh ... It's a nice daydream, isn't it?

5. Could you fall in love with your best friend? I suppose, if things were very different

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone? Loving someone

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love? I don't intend to wait for someone I really love

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do? Be sad

9. If you'd like to act (movies, stage) with someone, who would it be? Carrie Mulligan. She's very good

10. What do you expect of your loved one? Tenderness

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time? Here. But I'd like to have a new sofa by then.

12. What’s your fear? Losing my independence

13. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor? Single and rich. Because I can imagine that. I don't know what married but poor would be like.

14. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Stumble into the shower.

15. Do you ever hold back in a relationship? I have ... Is it me, or are these questions more than a little negative regarding relationships?

16. If you fell in love with two people simultaneously, how would you pick? I'd go with whoever is behind Door #2, where Carol Merill is standing.

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done? Not if it leaves me vulnerable to more horror.

18. What are your three most important expectations in love? Tenderness, acceptance, and laughter.

Nerd Prom

I'm watching The White House Correspondents' Dinner and am pleased to report that Senator Scott Brown also looks good fully clothed.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

1. Have you ever been in a situation with a lover where you did not know what tomorrow would bring? Yes. Every time I've been in love there have been moments that I felt that way. I guess it's what happens when you share your life with someone else.

2. What worries you most today? My mom's health and finances.

3. Could I tell if you were lying to me? Not if I don't want you to.

4. What do you miss most about the 80s? My waist

5. What's going on that you can't understand? Why -- even though I'm eating better -- I keep getting fatter and fatter. I've gone up a dress size since I answered question 4.

6. How would I know if you liked me? If I hover and fuss and worry. I'm a worrier when it come to those I care about.

7. If you ever won an award, what would you want it to be for? For being (as Wilbur eulogized Charlotte) "a good writer and a true friend."

8. What would we be surprised to know that you've done? I once rode an elephant.

9. What’s the most exotic mixed drink you remember trying? Did you enjoy it? Kir royale. Yes.

Friday, April 29, 2011

There are lives I'm not having

So here I am, huddled over my MacBook, eating a Chicken of the Sea tuna cup with a plastic spoon as I watch highlights of The Wedding. Glamorous, huh?

I am very happy to see Diana's "Wills" happy. For me, today's a continuation of her story.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Words fail me

But, fortunately, they don't fail the theater critic at the Chicago Tribune. For I saw this show last night (same performance he did) and enjoyed it far more than one could possibly expect. After all, it is a musical about bi-polar disorder. I want to blog about it, but I'm having a hard time explaining the experience. So I'll just let Chris Jones do it for me.

Central performance by Tony-winner anchors emotional tour de force



"Can you keep the cup from tipping?" sing Diana and Dan, the loving but fraught married couple at the center of the emotionally wrenching musical "Next to Normal," "Can you keep your grip from slipping?"

It's just a rhetorical question in a clever song lyric, I suppose, but in modern-day America, a good many of us are not so sure. On some days, at least.

I'd had such a day Wednesday — when overextension comes uneasily close to panic, when the frowns of disappointed colleagues and family members start piling up, when a plethora of inconsequential but time-consuming trees fully obscure whatever woods might be visible this soggy April in Chicago. That could explain why "Next to Normal" hit me so hard Wednesday night, even though it was the second time I've seen the show. There are a lot of superlatives that can justly be applied to this contemporary musical from Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey, the winners of the 2009 Pulitzer Prize in drama, but surely no other musical has better caught the way we all now try to shove our family time into smaller and smaller boxes, ever more fractured, Blackberry-interrupted segments. Despite our self-assurances that we can have everything, we know that the inevitable consequence is increased isolation in a world where self-sufficiency is completely impossible.

It is concerned with mental illness, but "Next to Normal" is so moving because it paints a picture of a deeply loving suburban family (mother, father, son, teenage daughter), and then proceeds to reveal just had much they fail to help each other. Simple as that, really. Yet it socks you in the gut with the force of recognition.

If it were not for the ending — this was a Broadway musical, after all — you could almost consider "Next to Normal" a kind of communal tragedy. As this quartet — with occasional guest appearances by psychologists — try to figure out the right balance between filling your own needs and taking care of the needs of others (good luck with that), this show certainly sends your mind spinning down a lot of lines of existential questioning: Why is pain distributed so unequally across families? Do you always tell your loved ones the truth, even when it hurts them? Are painful memories always preferable to forgetting? How on earth do you move on from an agonizing loss without wiping its memory from your mind, and therefore wiping away your lost loved one at the same time? How? Huh? Huh?

But on deeper contemplation, I've come to think that my experience Wednesday had a lot more to do with Alice Ripley. Ripley, who won the Tony award for her performance as Diana Goodman, the central character of "Next to Normal," and is starring in this top-drawer first national tour, has now disappeared so far inside her struggling, bi-polar character that it is as if she took one of the walks down the dark staircases that one of her procession of doctors, hypnotists and shrinks suggested, all in an attempt to arrive at some intersection between Diana and normal. It is a wholly different experience from the one on offer in New York, a couple of nights before opening. Ripley and Diana are in a wholly different and far deeper place. There are a variety of opinions, there will always be a variety of opinions, about Ripley's unusual vocal approach to this show. It breaks some of the usual rules. It does not blend. But then "Next to Normal," which is about a family struggling with mental illness in its midst and is largely expressionistic, doesn't work unless Diana is genuinely other and genuinely dangerous. Ripley is other and dangerous, all right. With every note that surges from her mouth. Not to mention confounding, quizzical, needy.

This a towering, gutsy, must-see performance — of the kind that a theater city like Chicago should support and that is rarely found in a modern touring show. But then this is the kind of rare tour that delivers the entire original experience — on balance, even a superior experience to the one on Broadway.

For his touring cast (only Ripley was part of the original Broadway cast), director Michael Greif has found comparably exquisite singers (this gently gorgeous, guitar-soaked score deserves no less) while moving noticeably closer to, well, normal.

On Broadway, I remember watching the glamorous Jennifer Damiano (now Mary Jane in SpiderMan) and thinking that her character's problems would never be so bad. But Emma Hunton, who now plays the daughter Natalie, feels much more like a real teenager for whom life really could go either way. Asa Somers, who plays husband Dan, is every inch the standard suburban dad, well-meaning and fundamentally decent, but ill-equipped in so many ways, as many of us are. Curt Hansen also creates a more normal Gabe, if anything about his presence could be said to be normal. Preston Sadleir is guilelessly charming as Natalie's well-meaning boyfriend, Henry. And Jeremy Kushnier — once the star of "Footloose," now a dignified shrink — brings a new emotional force to a doctor doing his best but using only that to which he has access, which may not be any good at all.

Not for Diana, not for any of us for whom normal is both a pejorative and an aspiration.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Thursday Thirteen #121

THIRTEEN QUOTES ABOUT THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD

The advertising agency Euro RSCG first presented "The Most Interesting Man in the World" in their Dos Equis beer commercials back in 2006. Five years later, he's still going strong. I admire the success of this campaign and the incremental buzz and sales it has generated for Dos Equis.

And he still makes me smile. Possibly because ...

1) He is a lover, not a fighter. But he's a fighter, too, so don't get any ideas.

2) Sharks have a week dedicated to him

3) He is the life of parties he hasn't even attended

4) He once visited a psychic -- to warn her

5) Alien abductors asked him to probe them

6) His sweat smells like cologne

7) He aced the Rorschach Test

8) His personality is so magnetic that he can't carry credit cards

9) Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact

10) His organ donor card includes his beard

11) He taught his German Shepherd to bark in Russian

12) Police often question him, just because they find him interesting

13) If he were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the urge to thank him


Stay thirsty, my friends, and enjoy visiting other TTs.

To find out more about Thursday Thirteen, and maybe participate yourself, click here.

I have a mom again

I am happy to report that my mother and I are getting along very well again.

As hard as saying that prolonged, painful goodbye to my uncle was for me, it was undoubtedly even harder for her because he was her baby brother. On top of that, she was in the process of watching her tenuous finances flow down the drain. I have been struggling off and on with my own shit, and I guess neither of us has been at our best these past six months or so. Early last month things came to a head and I came right out and told her that she has to think about how she talks to me. That some of her comments and attitudes have hurt me. She was surprised, but said she's work at it.

Well, damn, she has! We had a lovely Easter. She's being more supportive and I'm being more accepting and hopefully we're returning to a more placid relationship.

She's my mother and I always love her. She's also my mommy and sometimes I still need her. Now that we have both healed a bit after the tough fall and winter, I hope we can go forward in this more positive spirit and be a little more mindful and tender with one another.

I Want Wednesday

I want to wake up tomorrow, back in my cozy little house in Colonial Williamsburg. My vacation was a month ago already, and I realize anew that it was nowhere near long enough. I need more alone time in a completely different environment to really restart my emotional/physical battery. But it's not going to happen. So I shall just indulge in my moment of longing and forge ahead.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Who knew?


I did not realize that mommies and mommies-to-be now hand out personalized cards that say --

1) Where they are registered for baby shower gifts and
2) Who's mommy they are and their contact information

I have no issue with this. I'm sure it's efficient and makes a lot of sense. I just had no idea that New Millennium Mommies were so organized!

Monday, April 25, 2011

I miss her

With all the hubbub about the royal wedding, I find myself thinking of Diana. Shy Di. Princess Di. Our Queen of Hearts.

This picture is from the summer of 1982. That's 29 years ago. I can't believe it was that long ago, and I'm so sorry that she didn't get to live happily ever after.

You're gonna hear more from him

James McAvoy. I just saw him this evening in The Conspirator and he does a terrific job. It's a very cerebral, dialog-driven part -- a lot of serious talk in period dialect and an American accent. He was impressive.

This isn't the first time I have enjoyed his work. He was the center of the sweeping epic, Atonement and the voice of reason The Last King of Scotland.

My! Another handsome man with a fuzzy face!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Movie Monday -- Facial Hair




Share on your blog characters in film with memorable beards and or mustaches, linking back here to the Bumbles. (Compiling this week's post was a rather yummy task.)

Brad Pitt as Tristan in Legends of the Fall.

Warren Beatty as McCabe in McCabe & Mrs. Miller.

Al Pacino in Serpico.


Robert Redford as Sundance in Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "It's All About Four Freakin' Things" Meme
Cheers to all of us thieves!

Four Places I go:


1. Work

2. Grocery store

3. Drug store

4. Coffee shop

Four Crushes I Have:

1. Mark Harmon

2. Johnny Depp

3. Bruce Springsteen

4. Mark Wahlberg

Four Smells that I Love:

1. Cinnamon

2. Lavender

3. Hot apples

4. Bread

Four Favorite TV Shows:

1. NCIS

2. American Idol

3. Morning Joe

4. Law & Order: SVU

Four Favorite Movies:

1. The Way We Were

2. The Godfather

3. Valley of the Dolls

4. Mary Poppins

Four Recommendations:

1. Read O Magazine. There's a ton of content, and even the ads are interesting.

2. Remove caps from plastic bottles and tubes before you recycle, as many are made of a different grade of plastic and can't be recycled.

3. Do at least one charitable act every week for your community. It feels good.

4. Think about Easter, rebirth and miracles today. It's important.

Four People that I'd love to read their Fours:

1. Anyone who

2. visits here

3. deserves a

4. return visit

Four Things about me that you don't know:

1. In high school, I was good at archery

2. I can recite Jenny's big monologue from Neil Simon's Chapter Two: "You know what you want better than me, George. You're the one who knows why we behave as we do and react as we do and suffer guilt and love and hate. You read all those books, not me. But there's one thing I do know. I know how I feel. I know I can stand here, watching you try to destroy everything I've wanted in my life, wanting to smash your face with my fists because you won't make even the slightest effort to opt for happiness, and still know I love you. That's so clear to me. That's where I get all my strength from ..." Believe me yet? Cuz there's more if you demand it.

3. When I was in first grade, I attended a taping of Bozo's Circus.

4. I never believed in the Easter Bunny.


Four bands that I love:

1. The Lads from Liverpool, of course

2. Maroon 5

3. Traveling Wilburys

4.Rascal Flatts


HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Profiles in Courage

Reading The Help has been fascinating for me because I grew up in The Land of Lincoln. It's not that there isn't/wasn't racism up here -- I'm not that naive. It's just it wasn't institutionalized and accepted here the way it was in the South.* The adults in my neighborhood gave lip service to racism being "bad" and lowered their voices when talking about "them."

Since the book is set in Jackson in the early 1960s, I knew that the assassination of NAACP officer/civil rights leader Medgar Evers would have to be addressed. It would be like telling a story about Chicago in February 1929 and not mentioning the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Some events define a town and a time. So I anticipated an accounting of the impact the Evers assassination had on the citizens of Jackson. According to author Stockett, life went on in the homes of Jackson's white citizens, regardless of the suppressed heartache and rage felt by the "colored help."

So I did what I do. I went all geeky and looked into the further. I was shocked to see how controversial it was for President Kennedy to allow Medgar Evers to be buried at Arlington Cemetery, with full military honors.

The JFK Library has preserved the telegrams sent to the White House after the announcement. It's shocking to me that people were not embarrassed to bother the President of the United States with their ignorance, that they weren't ashamed to include their full names and addresses!

Arlington is for heroes. Not Evers. Keep Evers out. Rebecca Ratliff. 4424 [street name redacted by blog author]. Baton Rouge, LA

I protest this national disgrace and insult to the heroe buried in Arlington National Cemetery to have the body of Medgar Evers interred therein. This honor should be bestowed only on the deserving and not upon political rabble rousers. Cannot the President and the Congress stop this insult to our national heritage? T. Earl Taylor, DDS, Columbus, GA

It goes on and on.

Also in the file is this telegram, written by Evers to the President early in the same month he died, describing first-hand and in real-time what Skeeter's Jackson was like.

President Kennedy stood by his decision to allow Medgar Evers' burial in Arlington. And four months later he joined him there.

When I think of JBKO and The Beatles and Twiggy, it's easy to romanticize and glamorize the 60s. It was also a hateful, violent time. Riots, assassinations. It's important to remember so that it never happens here again. Sometimes, listening to the birther crap, I get a horrible feeling of deja bloodlust.

* While working on Bill Clinton's national campaigns, I remember being told that this outward, perhaps superficial, civility makes it harder to have an honest conversation about race, the way the Arkansas natives were used to. I don't know, because this is the only place I've ever lived. But it's an interesting topic, isn't it?

What's wrong with me?

All I want to do is sleep. Or nap. Or be lazy. It's our first gloriously sunny day in what seems like forever, and I can hear kids playing outside my window, but I can't make myself move from this spot.

Thursday I spoke to my shrink about this, and HRT. She agrees that it's time to look at the role my meds are playing in my menopausal weight gain and complete lack of energy, because something is out of whack. Next stop: my gynecologist. I'll call for an appointment on Monday. While I'll probably have to wait to get in for my annual checkup, I'm lucky in that he'll listen to me. All three of my doctors -- shrink, gyne and GP -- have been very sympathetic and compassionate. I've heard the horror stories about patients who feel herded in an out of their doctors' offices. I'm fortunate to not be one of those patients.

I don't even drive & I remember this commercial is for Highlander

It's the "help me" that gets me. I WAS that kid!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Sex as a Weapon

1. Have you or a significant other ever used sex as a weapon? I try not to.

2. Tell us about the worst date you ever went on. A woman that I volunteered alongside had a party. I attended and met her brother, who liked me very much. She told me as much and asked me if he could call me to "hang out." I said, "sure," because I thought he was gay. Um ... he's not. When I realized that what I thought was hanging out after work was a date, it was ... awkward.

3. If you were a god/goddess who would you be? You mean I'm not a goddess already?

4. What crime from history fascinates you the most? Bonnie and Clyde's crime spree. The reality vs. the fable and why it still resonates.

5. Give us one random, but candid fact about you. I hate Seinfeld. I believe I could be the only one on the planet who can say this, but that show has never even made me smile.

6. Who or what makes you laugh until you're weak? My oldest friend. She is a troubled and troubling woman, true, but oh! We do make each other laugh. Even our arguments crack us up. Once, while vacationing in Las Vegas, we had big fight. I was helpfully pointing out her shortcomings as a traveling companion (at the top of my lungs). She responded by asking if I thought I was so easy to travel with, and pointed out that I need to go to the bathroom more often than she does. She said that she wished she could get the time back that she wasted staring at dirty tiles outside of public restrooms in every casino we visited. Then she hissed that if I'd been a Sioux, my Indian name would have been, "Princess Tiny Bladder." I was quiet a moment, absorbing this colorful criticism, and then I started to laugh until I couldn't breathe. I bet she doesn't even remember this story, but it's just one of a million examples of when she's made me lose it.

7. What is the most exciting adventure you’ve ever been part of? Every time I have fallen in love it's felt like an exciting adventure.

8. Among the people you know, who would you choose to be able to read all your thoughts? My best friend. Though sometimes I think he can read my thoughts.

9. How old were you when you realized that other people's families live totally differently from yours? 8 or 9. My older sister was thwacking me repeatedly with her hairbrush and my oldest friend (question 6 above) was quite surprised by the ferocity and length of this treatment. I could see on her face that what I accepted as normal wasn't.

Doesn't look too inviting, does it?


I just turned down a FREE ticket to today's Cub game! But it's 43º, the rain is now a drizzle but the field is still covered in puddles, beer and hotdogs and peanuts are not what this stomach needs today, it's not wise to leave work early for a ballgame the day after I took the day off ...

Do you think I may finally be growing up?

Thursday, April 21, 2011

More than a little green around the gills

I was on schedule to make it to the office on time -- which, this morning, was 6:45, so we would have plenty of time to get to our client's downstate office for a 9:15 AM meeting. But right around the California el station, I started feeling ... ummm ... URGENT about getting downtown. I made an unexpected stop on our floor and the ladies' room, and let's say it was obvious a 2 1/2 car ride wasn't a wise undertaking for me this morning.

Fortunately my part in the presentation was pretty small. I don't know if someone else took it over for me or if it was postponed to another day. My coworker, Tom, happened to be up in his office picking up the handouts for today's meeting. I handed him my presentation materials and will find out what happened when I show up at work tomorrow.

I was home, and back in bed, before 8:00 AM. Slept until after 11:00, did laundry, had some soup, and started feeling better. Unfortunately there was no Cub game today. It would have been nice to have my heroes in pinstripes here with me a I recovered from whatever the hell it was.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Thursday Thirteen #120 -- A tribute to Miss Myrna

This Thursday 13 -- my first in years(!) -- has been inspired by the book I'm currently reading, The Help. As one of the most domestically-challenged women to ever draw breath, I was fascinated by the "Miss Myrna" housecleaning Q&A column. So here are 13 common tips I found on the Internet.

These all make sense to me, but try them at your own risk, as you cannot underestimate my knowledge of these matters.

1) Try vinegar to remove hard water stains from coffee pots.

2) Rub baking soda into your stainless steel sink with a nylon sponge to remove stubborn water stains.

3) Granite countertops will look good longer if you use a store-bought cleanser developed especially for this purpose.

4) It's important for your health to keep your refrigerator clean. Regularly remove everything from your frig and wipe the interior with a mix of baking soda and warm water. Wipe it down again, this time with plain water, and let it dry before replacing items.

5) Remember to clean the freezer once a year, too. Turn off the refrigerator and follow the directions that came with your refrigerator.

6) Vacuuming the coils keeps your refrigerator working more efficiently.

7) You can combat build up on glass shower doors with a fine mist of rubbing alcohol and water every day.

8) To reduce soap marks on your bathroom mirrors, switch from bar soap to liquid soap. The typical bar soap includes talc, which causes the residue to adhere to surfaces like tile and mirrors.

9) If you wash your clothes at a laundromat, you may wish to to use a disinfectant wipe on the tub and agitator. Wait at least 90 seconds before adding your laundry.

10) White vinegar is often successful at removing perspiration stains. Dab it directly onto the spots before tossing the garment in your washing machine.

11) Reduce the rub off from new blue jeans by washing them first, and adding a little white vinegar to the water.

12) Regular shampoo can be effective for pre-treating tomato/catsup stains.

13) Towels will remain more absorbent longer if you don't use fabric softener on them.

To find out more about Thursday Thirteen, and maybe participate yourself, click here.

I Want Wednesday

I want to focus on and appreciate the Cubs game. Garza is facing the Padres today and the score is 1-0 in the 4th. Few things lighten my mood more dependably than my heroes in Cubbie blue!

Well, that was dumb

I had the worst hiccoughs in North America this morning, and was worried about offending my fellow commuters. So I popped a Xanax. It relaxed the involuntary reflexes that caused my rhythmic "hic," but it also relaxed me. To a very great extent.

Note to self: Don't take Xanax on a morning when you'll be reviewing a deck on trends in financial marketing. This job can sometimes inspire somnambulism all on its own.

Image: Darren Robertson / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So the phone rings ...

It's my mom. At 9:00 on a Tuesday night. To tell me she's filing for bankruptcy and is worried that by being an authorized user on one of my credit cards* could have a negative impact on my own credit rating.

By filing for bankruptcy, she will have $500/month to help her meet her property taxes, utility bills, etc. My dad died in 1992 and left her with nothing but debt and a small life insurance policy (which went for the funeral). She has $20,000 equity left in the house from her reverse mortgage, social security and whatever I give her each month. That's it.

I already pay her medicare part B insurance premiums and her snow removal and help her with her little gifts -- that's $225/month over the course of a year. My kid sister and brother-in-law don't contribute anything, but they are enormously helpful driving her places and helping her keep up with the house. My older sister, who lives very well in Southern California, no longer gives my mother any gifts at all anymore -- not for her birthday, Christmas, or Mother's Day. She explains this by saying that now that she has remarried, with her new bridegroom approaching retirement, it wouldn't be fair or wise for her to spend money on her family that he doesn't spend on his.

I resent this. Not the money I give to my mother -- she gave me life -- but that my older sister can't see her way to pitching in.

My older sister is coming in to stay with my mom over Memorial Day weekend. I hope that she gets it that my mom needs help, and that my younger sister and I need help with her. My mom's house smells overwhelmingly of cat urine and she needs a new chimney. I have offered to pay my niece (a very industrious young lady) to go over there with a Rug Doctor carpet cleaner but my mom refuses. She's worried the machine will damage the rug. (As if the carpet isn't already ruined by Ethel the Cat's pee.) My brother-in-law is repairing the chimney.

But what about when my mom's refrigerator goes? Or if one of her cats gets ill? By filing for bankruptcy, my mother will be losing her credit cards and it goes without saying that she has no emergency fund.

I am so sick of worrying about money.

Remember the good old days, when the phone rang with good news?

* I had given her permission to charge $25/month on my American Airlines Citi Master Card but she kept going over so we agreed she should cut the card up and I give her gift cards instead.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

My conundrum

I am fat. Fatty McPhatterson. Peppermint Fatty. And this book, Between a Rock and a Hot Place, came out at the perfect time for me.

It's about one woman's journey through menopause. And "the change" has unquestionably contributed to my burgeoning waistline.

When I was at the lowest point in my struggle with depression, both my shrink and my GP agreed that the uptick in my downward spiral was tied to a dip in estrogen and my now compromised serotonin delivery system. Because I heard so many horror stories about HRT, I told both of my doctors that I reject it out of hand. So they conferred and agreed I should be on Lexapro. And now I'm fat and happy. Or as happy as I can be, being fat.

So to review this turn of events:

1) I had refused HRT because I have heard about increased risk of cancer and heart disease
2) HRT would have (among other things) helped the moods and bloating
3) The anti-depressant I take contributes to weight gain
4) Bloating contributes to weight gain
5) Weight gain increases risk of cancer and heart disease

So am I not right back where I started from?

I think I shall have to revisit this with my shrink and GP. This time I'll add my gynecologist's opinion to the mix.