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I've been seeing the chiropractor for more than two weeks now. My left knee is killing me. Actually, it's the back of my knee that hurts and there's inflammation on the inside.
I usually like my chiropractor and appreciate her skills. Earlier this year she properly diagnosed my heels spur and between her adjustments and laser treatments, I was fine in no time. But this time, she hasn't been as successful.
Worse than that, she's been dismissive. When I told her Monday that the pain made walking any distance unbearable, she said she'd "bet nobody else would think it was so bad."
In real time, I felt like she'd slapped me. I was shocked. I said that she had to understand that since I don't drive, I have to walk everywhere and the knee pain left me feeling vulnerable. She said, "I get it." But I don't believe she did.
I thought of my mom. My mother never questioned her doctors, never pushed back. After all, they were learned, they had degrees, so they knew best. I loved my mom, but I'm not her. Any doctor, dentist or chiropractor has many patients, but this is my one and only body. So my care is naturally more important to me than it is to them.
And so I kept turning what my doctor said, over and over in my head. I won't be dismissed. It's not fair and it's not helpful. I am in pain. It's her job to help make me well. I'm going to insist she do that job.
So today, instead of laying down on the table for my customary adjustment, I sat upright and pointed to my knee. "I'm wearing shorts so you can look at my knee." I told her it felt warm to me, not to the touch but from the inside. And it still hurts to walk. "That means inflammation, doesn't it?" I asked.
She did today what she should have done Monday when I reiterated the knee pain. She palpated it. She compared my painful left knee to my functioning right one. She agreed that there is something "up" there -- possibly a Baker's cyst or a ligament injury. Neither is that serious (after all, I'm still walking), but diagnosing them requires imaging equipment she doesn't have. So she's referring me to an orthopedic clinic.
If I hadn't spoken up, she would have just given me the adjustment and sent me on my way. So I am happy that I took control and made myself heard.
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
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You know how when you're watching a movie and you simply cannot wait for the leading man to plant one on the leading lady? That's how I felt twice today, watching two different movies starring (wait for it) Ann Sheridan and Ronald Reagan.
Yeah, I'm shocked, too. Politics aside, I never considered Ronald Reagan an objet de desir. Before today, I only ever saw him in one film, Nine Lives Are Not Enough (1941), and he was funny and comfortable in front of the camera but he was not especially romantic.
I've never been a big Ann Sheridan fan, either. In the 1940s she was considered a glamor girl, but I've always found her too hard-edged, too tough to be tender.
Yet this morning I finished Kings Row (1942), a highly-regarded period drama that's been taking up space on my DVR. I found it overlong and overwrought, but damn! Rich boy Drake McHugh (Reagan) and the tomboy from the wrong side of the tracks (Sheridan) were charismatic and completely believable as lovers and I couldn't wait for them to live happily ever after.
I texted my friend Will, the moderator of our movie group, and asked him if he knew about this gem. After all, he's always sung Ann Sheridan's praises. He not only knew it, he recounted his favorite scene and recommended Juke Girl, released just months after Kings Row. This time Reagan is Steve, a migrant farmer looking for work and Sheridan is Lola, the girl of the title, who works in a saloon. It's kind of like Grapes of Wrath, if everyone in Grapes of Wrath had great teeth and a standing appointment with a hair stylist. OK, so it's not a great movie. But the romance between worldly wise Lola and idealistic, impetuous Steve* delivers.
Sigh.
WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.
PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.
1. What are you currently reading? The Boys by Clint Howard and Ron Howard. Who doesn't love Ron Howard? He was Opie and Richie Cunningham. He sang "The Wells Fargo Wagon" in The Music Man. He's a massive Beatle fan (Eight Days a Week) and an Oscar-winning director. He's also the poster boy for normalcy. Whenever people talk about how Hollywood messes kids up, someone points to Ron Howard as the exception that proves the rule.
This joint memoir by Ron and his brother Clint (Gentle Ben) is a celebration of normal. I look forward to hearing how they grew up from successful child actors to successful men.
2. What did you recently finish reading? One Dog Night by David Rosenfelt. This is the ninth entry in the Andy Carpenter series. One thing we've known about Andy from the very beginning, one of his defining characteristics, is that he loves his dog, Tara.
This book begins with Andy taking a case because the man accused once owned Tara and he (and we) want to know her backstory. It turns into a wild ride filled with blackmail and murder. The bad guys in this book rack up quite a body count. That's my only gripe with it. Too many corpses, too many suspects, too many twists and turns. I would have been happier with a simpler, more linear plot and more courtroom scenes. But still, I'm glad I read it.
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Here's how to play.
• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
Once Upon a Time by Elizabeth Beller. A biography of Carolyn Bessette Kennedy. One thing I envy about her was her ability to raise just her right eyebrow. I can't do that. If I had that talent, I hope I could use it as expressively as she did.
... Once, while she was about to dig into a slice of pizza, Carolyn heard a colleague berating Narcisco Rodriguez, a new young designer for the woman's collection from behind one of the screens during a fitting. Carolyn stepped into the area of the scuffle. She looked at the pizza in her hand. She looked at the face of Narcisco's adversary. She looked back at the pizza. Then raising that eyebrow, looked back at the adversary. Did this person want to stop berating her dear friend or did she want this piece of piping hot, dripping cheese pizza on her face? The colleague fled the scene and thereafter treated Narcisco with due respect.
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Today's happiness: "Beach Baby"
1. I am looking forward to ... Going to the chiropractor Monday. This leg pain is getting better by day but it is still bad at night.
2. Least favorite words. My least favorite word begins with a "c." Let's leave it at that.
3. If I ruled the world people would be more polite in public. It sounds like a little thing when you consider all that's wrong with the world. But a stranger's rudeness and grumpiness can stick to me all day, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. I think the world would be happier if we all paid closer attention to how we board elevators, pass one another in store aisles, etc.
4. Favorite websites and blogs. I am loving the ladies who have joined me in the August Happiness Challenge: Deb J. in Utah, Kwizgiver and Country Dew.
5. Things I do for myself. Everything! I live alone so I don't share chores with anyone.
6. Weekly rituals. I do laundry on Tuesday.
7. DIYs I want to try. None. I am the laziest and least handy woman you'll ever meet.
8. On my shopping list. It seems I'm always in need of Bounty paper towels and Coke.
9. Places to see in your town. If you come to Chicago, you must visit The Friendly Confines.
10. Road trip must-haves. Twizzlers or Life Savers or a cup of applesauce and a spoon ... stuff that will quench my thirst but won't make me pee.
11. Guilty pleasures. Lately I have been watching reruns of the 1960s soap Peyton Place, and I have been enjoying them thoroughly.
12. Things I'd rather be doing right now. Napping.
13. Books I'd like to read this year. 12 Months to Live by James Patterson and Mike Lupica. I've heard that it's a fun read, and I'm on the library waiting list.
14. Lessons learned. Drinking water is good for you. Really. Your kidneys and your complexion will thank you if you drink more water.
15. Vacations to take. My TV boyfriend, TCM's Eddie Muller, hosts film noir film festivals in cities all over the country. In addition to Chicago, there's San Francisco, Detroit, Washington DC and Philly. I think it would be a blast to travel by Amtrak to all those cities and watch movies all day and night. (Margaret from my movie group does just that, and I'm so jealous.)
Extra question: Olympic events I like to watch or follow. I don't pay any attention to the Olympics, but I am aware of this: Mallory Swanson scored the winning goal to win the Gold for the US in soccer. Her hubs is our own Dansby Swanson, the Cubs' Gold Glove shortstop.
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Saturday 9: Annie's Song (1974)
Unfamiliar
with this week's tune? Hear it here.
1)
50 years ago this month, we were all listening to John Denver
rhapsodize about nature. He singles out walking in the rain as a
particularly lovely experience. Do you enjoy walking in the rain? Not especially.
2)
Denver wrote this song on a ski lift in Aspen. He clearly relished the
ride, but ski lifts are problematic for those who suffer from
acrophobia, or a fear of heights. Acrophobia plagues approximately 5% of Americans. Are you one of them? Nope.
3) John Denver recalled that this song just came to him as he looked down on the beauty of nature. Can you recall a time when something you saw in nature touched your heart? I fell in love with Hot Springs, AR. The water comes out of the ground at about 140º so there's always steam rising from it. Everything around the springs seems lush and green. The water is rich in minerals and it's a delight to visit one of the spas and bathe in it. I'd like to return some day.
4) Wildly successful here in The States, John Denver's popularity didn't extend to the United Kingdom. In fact, "Annie's Song" was his only major hit. But it was a big one. Denver's version reached #1 in 1974 and then in 1978 James Galway hit #1 on the UK charts with an instrumental version. Do you have a favorite instrumental recording? I love "Seasons of Love," the theme from Peyton Place. I'm sure it contributes to my enduring affection for the 1960s TV show and the film from the 1950s.
5) John Denver's first-ever guitar, a gift from his grandmother, was displayed at the Musical Instrument Museum in Phoenix. Have you visited a museum yet this summer? If not, do you have plans to? My friend Elaine and I are talking about visiting the Georgia O'Keeffe exhibit at The Art Institute. It closes in mid-September, so we better just do it already.
6)
In addition to the guitar, Denver also played the violin (or "the
fiddle," as he called it). If a genie appeared to magically enable you
to play the instrument of your choice, which would you choose? Piano. There's a scene in A Hard Day's Night where Paul McCartney sits down at a hotel piano and just starts playing. I always thought it would be so cool to be able to do that.
Let's look at the summer of 1974.
7) Elizabeth Berkeley was born. She's best known as Jesse on the Saturday morning teen sitcom, Saved by the Bell. What Saturday morning TV shows do you remember fondly? "He's the boss, he's a pip, he's the championship, he's the most tip top TOP CAT!"
8) Hall of Fame pitcher and Cardinal great Dizzy Dean died. How is your baseball team doing this summer? Oh hell, I don't know. The Cubs aren't even playing .500 ball, and yet because our entire division kinda sucks, we aren't out of contention for the playoffs. Post-season baseball would be nice, but I'm not counting on it.
9) The biggest summer movie was The Longest Yard starring Burt Reynolds. What's your favorite Burt Reynolds movie? Smokey and the Bandit.
Today I went to the chiropractor's office for a therapeutic massage. Monday I'll be back for an adjustment. Because of my spinal stenosis, my gait is "off" and it's causing strain on the muscles that run from the back of my left knee down to my ankle. It hurts like mad when I get up after sitting and stairs are difficult. But my chiropractor is going to make me better. I insist on it.
Which brings me back to John. He had so much wrong over the last five years or so. He had congestive heart failure and diabetes. He needed a cane to walk, he was short of breath, and suffered from anxiety. Yet he didn't even have a primary care physician. He behaved as though if a doctor didn't specifically tell him something was wrong, it wasn't wrong.
Because I'm hurting, I'm struggling to understand why it happened. Why he had to leave me. The best I can come up with is that the way he lived and died should be a lesson to those of us who loved him.
I'm not going to let my world get smaller and smaller, as John's had. I'm not going to just accept that discomfort is part of growing older. I have Medicare and supplemental insurance and I'm using them to full advantage.
John and I enjoyed so much together over our 43 years of friendship. Now I have to figure out how to go on without him. If I can help it, it won't be with a cane.
Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash
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*When you spend most of your life outdoors, the zip-lock bag is important in and of itself because you can use it to keep your belongings organized and dry.
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It was 40 years ago edition. My boss at the card shop is in her 30s and thinks the 80s -- when her parents were young -- was just the coolest decade. She loves the techno pop and the big hair. While she's never seen Dallas or Dynasty, she's aware of them and their impact on fashion.
This got me looking back to the top shows of 1984. We certainly were suds-obsessed that year! Four of the most popular shows were nighttime soaps.
Nielson's Top 13 of the 1984 season:
1. Dynasty
2. Dallas
3. The Cosby Show
4. 60 Minutes (still a Sunday night fixture)
5. Family Ties (when America first met Michael J. Fox)
6. The A Team (Mr. T.)
7. Simon and Simon (A spin-off of Magnum PI, which came in at 15)
8. Murder, She Wrote
9. Knot's Landing10. Falcon Crest
11. Crazy Like a Fox
12. Hotel
13. Cheers (where everybody knows your name)
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
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WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.
PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.
1. What are you currently reading? One Dog Night by David Rosenfelt. The book I recently finished, while good, was a downer. And so I need a dose of distraction. Who better to deliver it than my fantasy boyfriend, Andy Carpenter, in this, the 9th book of the series?
Why do I love Andy so much? Because he loves baseball and classic rock, has a smart mouth, is a lawyer who only works when he wants to, and loves animals. Especially his dog, Tara. In this volume, we get some of Tara's backstory. Up until now, all we've known about her is that she is brilliant and beautiful, and that she was already an adult dog in full bloom of fabulousness when she entered Andy's life. Noah Galloway is a man in trouble who is not only in need of a lawyer, he was Tara's owner before Andy.
2. What did you recently finish reading? Once Upon a Time by Elizabeth Beller. Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy is almost always just a footnote in Kennedy lore. Often a mystery, sometimes a villain. Here she gets her own biography.
So much of the book explores how hard the press was on her in real time, how vastly her friends' recollections differ from her icy public persona. That's undoubtedly true. Narratives were spun every time she left or re-entered the Tribeca loft she shared with America's Prince, and the truth didn't really matter. She was a commodity to be sold, and her feelings didn't matter. She became angry -- very angry -- by how she was treated and depressed by the public's misconception of her. As presented by Beller, her responses were completely understandable. They were not Jackie's responses -- Jackie knew how to rise above the adulation/attention/slander -- but Jackie was sui generis. Carolyn was a separate person. I'm surprised to say I think I would have liked her. I feel bad right now for Meghan Markle.
I also came away with mad respect for the Bessette girls. Daughters of divorce who grew up middle class, nothing (except maybe beauty) was given to them. Let's look at their careers.
• Lauren Bessette (who died with Carolyn and John) was an economics grad. Fluent in Madarin (!) she spent four years at Morgan Stanley's Hong Kong office before returning to New York, where she became a Vice President at their flagship office on Broadway
• Lisa Bessette (Lauren's twin and the surviving sister) is now nearly 60 years old. She holds a PhD, lectures on art history at the University of Michigan and consults at the University's art museum.
• Carolyn graduated from Boston University and worked her way up through the ranks at Calvin Klein. She went from retail sales to personal shopper to director of fashion show production to publicist. Her salary was $100,000/year when she resigned in 1996. That would be over $200,000/year in today's dollars. Not Kennedy-level wealth, but it certainly made her a well paid woman in a glamorous, competitive profession. It made me sad that she had to give up her job at CK because advertisers at John's George magazine thought it was somehow a conflict for ad space.
